In this candid, off‑the‑cuff video, Aaron Doughty shares his ongoing shadow‑work integration process focused on intimacy blocks. He explains that intimacy challenges are a two‑way street, arising not only from partners but also from his own conditioned patterns around touch, receiving, and worthiness—patterns rooted in his parents’ traumatic histories and his own childhood experiences. Doughty describes how he uses body‑based practices such as feeling emotions directly, Hapéh, and a 21‑day love meditation to surface and dissolve shame and discomfort. He introduces the concept of the "imago," the internal image formed by early caretakers that draws us toward partners who mirror those familiar dynamics. The core healing framework he outlines consists of three steps: (1) become aware of the block as it arises, (2) stay present with the felt sensation to allow the stored energy to release, and (3) make a new, conscious choice about self‑worth and how to receive love. He connects this inner work to external attraction, noting that when he aligned his life with his purpose (leaving a 9‑to‑5 job), he began attracting partners who shared that alignment. The video concludes with a call for viewers to comment, watch his popular 21‑day love meditation, and consider their own intimacy blocks as a pathway to attracting emotionally available people.
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So I don't know if this video will ever go on YouTube, but I'm going to just kind of share authentically some of the work that I'm currently doing with my shadow work integration coach, just in general, in regards to intimacy and the vibration of intimacy and where we sometimes get blocked. Because in my relationships, I used to think that I had this pattern where like these intimacy blocks would come up and there was a lot of times I would think that the intimacy blocks would come up and it would be like the woman I'm dating and that's where the intimacy blocks come up. And what I've realized recently is that it's a two-way street. So this isn't just them and it sounds like a very disempowering statement 'cause it's like, it's always them, it's always them. Well, then why am I attracting, you know, people with intimacy blocks into my life, you know? And the work that I've been doing recently has been around understanding touch. When you're around somebody else, you're getting close to them. And I've always, like, I guess growing up, I think I craved touch. But when I look back at it, I can see that in a way, it may feel somewhat unfamiliar to me to be intimately close with someone and to have that kind of dynamic where it's like really touchy-feely, you know what I mean? I've definitely had relationships before where I've dated women that were very touchy-feely and it's something that I definitely enjoy, of course. But in regards to attracting love, I think it's important to realize why we attract what we attract, especially in conjunction with our own blocks and that we normally find people that are gonna mirror back those same blocks or, you're gonna project that energy out and you're gonna pull it out of them. So it's gonna bring up their own intimacy blocks in a way. And I'm looking, I just did Hapéh and I'm looking at my own past, my own pattern, and I can see like, definitely in my past with like my mom and my dad, for example, my mom and my dad, my mom went through a lot of trauma growing up. She was in a very like abusive, household. And I think touch to my mom was like a very negative thing because it was— there's a lot of abuse and violence. And even my dad's not the most touchy-feely person. But I looked at like, I was recently hanging out with some friends and they're in like a new relationship, but they're super touchy-feely. And I'm like, wow, that looks really cool. Why do I attract people in my life where that's almost like a block, where that touchy-feely lovey-dovey stuff isn't as much there. And the realization that I've had for myself is that it literally feels uncomfortable to me because I didn't really receive it growing up. So I'm not used to it. Like, what do I do with it? Like, maybe a part of me feels like I'm not worthy of being that kind of way. And like the ability to receive as well. But the work that I've been doing, my shadow work integration coach, is literally feeling inside of the body. And when those intimacy blocks come up, to just feel it and to just let them be there. And a lot of it's also rooted in shame, feeling like I'm not worthy or not good enough or don't deserve it. So there's like a receiving block there. I've had many times before where people offer to pay for me when we're out. Just a couple weeks ago, I had a friend in town And she was like, let me pay for this dinner. And I was like, no, we'll split it, but I'm not gonna let you pay for me. It's like a receiving thing as well, but it's rooted in a level of that fear of intimacy. A lot of times it's a two-way street where we may not feel used to or comfortable with the intimacy. And what I'm learning is how to go into that to then become open and comfortable with it so that it's like easier to bring into my life, like somebody that's like that in a way, you know? And you know, something that my coach also always tells me is like, it's like you could go back in your timeline, you could figure it out, you could look at, you know, your childhood upbringing and stuff, but it really doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you feel the emotion now and you let yourself feel it when you get into those circumstances and you let it like dissolve in a way, you let yourself feel the uncomfortableness. And it's an interesting kind of dynamic, but I can look back now at my whole, like even like the last 10 years for me, and I can see many times that those blocks would come up for me where it did feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar. And I've kind of shut that part of my life out. So a lot of the healing of intimacy blocks, I think, come from maybe our childhood, but I don't think it really matters. I think what really matters is, are you feeling it now? Are you able to see and witness when you're in different dynamics where maybe you're feeling— you're getting intimate with somebody or just in general, somebody that's like hugging you and touchy-feely, are you able to like, be there present with it. And even if it's, you know, it's funny because our belief systems and our way of being is trying everything it can. Our bodies are doing everything it can to remain in what's familiar. So if there's somebody that's being touchy-feely with you, it may feel unfamiliar and you may like kind of clench up. And even when I was talking to him, he can see like my body language and he pays very close attention to like how I respond when he asks certain questions. And I, I kind of like, it's like I lock up in my body and I'm not as used to feeling those kind of, you know, it's kind of uncomfortable. And it's such a weird thing 'cause it's like, well, I crave it, you know, but at the same time I'm blocking it out because it's uncomfortable. So then I'm attracting people into my life that tend to be, you know, kind of have a wall up there where they're also in the same spot, they're trying to heal too. And it brings me back to this point to where what we tend to attract in our life there's this idea called an imago. And an imago is an image that we have that is a combination of both of our caretakers growing up, of how we received and gave love. And we continue to attract people into our life that represent that same familiar energy, that imago. And the question is, is, well, how can I go within my own body to open up my own intimacy with myself and then also intimacy to allow myself to receive, to see myself as worthy and to like reduce or release any shame that may be there? From childhood or just in general inside of the body. And the thing that I'm learning is one, awareness is always key. Can you become aware of when you become uncomfortable? Can you become aware of when your body starts locking up or you, you think that you're not worthy of something so you kind of reject it? And can you be present with it? And can you learn? It's like the energy is stored inside of our body and it just wants to be released and it's released through experience. So The thing that I've been learning for myself is how can I be more intimate, allow intimacy in by being more intimate and open to that myself. So it's kind of an interesting concept, but I think when it comes to attracting love, I've made a lot of videos on attracting love and I've been in loving relationships, but there's different aspects when you're trying to attract something into your life. It's not just like thinking about it. It's doing the inner work and becoming aware of where these intimacy blocks may come up or whatever the blocks are. If you don't think you're worthy and you really get that through relationship, you get that through dating, you get that through experimenting and seeing, hey, what does this feel like? Why is my body doing this? And all you have to do is feel it to heal it. That's it. Awareness, feeling it to heal it, and then making a new choice about yourself and allowing something else in. It's almost like the nervous system begins to relax as you begin to like, you know, be present with that even when you feel it. Maybe you have a friend that gives you like an extra long hug. You know, even when I was recently saw my dad, you know, I gave my dad like a hug and it's like almost, you know, I could tell he has his own intimacy box because he'll give me a hug and he loves me, but then he'll like pat me on the back and it's like just very quick, you know what I mean? So it could be the childhood stuff, but it really doesn't matter. How we give and receive love is normally formed from how we gave and received love when we were a kid. And if you find that you're not attracting maybe very touchy-feely relationships, it could be because of that intimacy block that you have. Getting close, maybe that represents pain. Maybe it was, you know, some of it was, you know, what my mom went through growing up and I absorbed some of that. You know, my mom was doing the best she could and I think she's an amazing mom. At the same time, I think she, when I look at how she grew up, she grew up in that violent household. Like touch to her was not something that was a positive thing, you know. So I could see how we, a lot of times the energy fields that we have, we absorb the energy fields of our parents growing up. So the idea is how can we clear that? And the way that we clear that is one, we become aware of it. Two, we go into it, we feel it to heal it, we allow the energy that's in the body to be released. And then thirdly, we make a new choice about who we are. And we make a new choice and we start like, redefining it and feeling it. And then it starts to wire in like a new sense of worthiness. And as we do that, we begin, that's doing the work. So if you're trying to attract love or that's your intention, it's not just thinking the affirmations and maybe letting go of outcome is powerful too, which of course it is. But the other aspect of it is like, be the kind of person, whoever you attract in your life is gonna be a direct reflection of you and the work you're doing. So if you want to attract somebody that has no intimacy blocks, then you have to first off release your own intimacy blocks by being honest with yourself. Maybe you have them. And I think it's something that's more common than we think. So my question to you is like, you know, I don't even know if this video is gonna go on YouTube. If it's out, then I decided to put it up. But the question is, and if you guys want more videos like this, if it does come out, let me know. I know it's a little bit more raw. It's a little bit more personable. But like this video and comment below if you want more like this. But what are— do you have any intimacy blocks? And can you feel it to heal it and see like maybe, maybe that energy just wants to be released somehow? You know, one of the most powerful meditations that I have on the YouTube channel has over 4 million views, and it's on attracting love. And basically it's feeling the love on the inside. And there's hundreds of comments from people saying that they attracted love by listening to that meditation for 21 days. And one thing you could do is you could Listen to that meditation for 21 days. Read the comments because I think it increases the belief that it can happen for you too. There's hundreds of comments that say that, and I'll go and link that below if this goes out on YouTube. But in general, become the kind of person that then gets that direct reflection. I noticed that when I was, you know, when I was working a 9-to-5 job I hated, I always attracted women that were also working 9-to-5 jobs they hated. It was an equal reflection. Then when I started doing what I love, I attracted women that did what they love. And it's always a reflection. So if you want to attract somebody, you wanna become what you want to attract and you wanna deal and do the work now so that yes, you could do the work in relationships. You don't have to have it all figured out by the time you're in a relationship. But these are things to become aware of because I could see now looking back at my life how much it was there, but how unaware of it I was. And I think that all of us can, kind of look at ourselves in a different way and see how we can become that which we want to attract. So go after your purpose, start doing what you love, you know, requires courage, I know. Maybe on the other side of that, you start becoming aware of how you feel around intimacy. Do you have a block there? Are you attracting emotionally unavailable men or women in your life? And if so, is it because maybe you don't believe or you're not used to feeling emotionally available people? And what you begin to do is you, you can begin to feel into that more, become aware of it, feel into it, and make a new choice about who you are. So if this goes on YouTube, let me know if you want more videos like this. Listen to that meditation for 21 days. And yeah, just wanted to kind of share that idea as I'm out here hiking. And this is the view. Beautiful. Anyways, love you guys. Talk to you later.
