The presenter uses a hose metaphor to show how external validation creates blocks to self-love, then shares how he managed ADHD through twice-daily 20-minute meditation and reframing it as an energy source rather than a disorder. The key is internal validation: when you love yourself, external approval becomes unnecessary.
Wassup? Today's video is gonna be on the secret to you being yourself. Tools to help you be yourself and be the best version of yourself. So let's dive right into it. Well, the idea behind being yourself is understanding who you are. And the way that you get down to who you are is first off, you simply have to ask the question. Now one of the ways that I did this is I began meditating, but not everyone likes to meditate. What you could do instead is simply ask the question and ponder and look at the things that you identify with, things that you actually enjoy doing. And as you begin to do that, you're going to see that there are certain consistencies to the things that you love to do, and there's certain things that as you do them, you feel better doing them. So the idea behind that is that you can do those things more often and see and know that you're going to be truly loving yourself when you're following the feeling and know that as you follow that feeling, you begin to embody it more and more. Well, I believe that our natural core state— I've talked about this in a couple videos— I believe that that natural core state is what we fundamentally call love, unconditional love. The excitement that we feel is the feeling of us doing what we love and us being ourselves. So the idea then is that if for any time we find ourselves not feeling like we can be ourselves, it's because we're placing certain filters onto the definition of who we are or how we associate ourselves or how we relate to other people. Now think of it like a hose. You have the idea of a hose and it flows freely. It's easy. It's easy to be your natural self. Well, as we grow up, what we do is we begin to put little like filters in that hose. We begin to have little kinks that happen in that hose because we're resisting who we naturally are because we're trying to make other people people like us, and it's a very natural thing. We like to be accepted. We want to be accepted by our parents growing up. We want to be accepted by the peers that we have in school. It's a natural ingrained thing that we all do, but the idea is that if we continue to live like that and to only seek that validation from other people, what we begin to do is kink up those hoses and the hose of who we are. And as we kink up that hose, the energy tends to not flow as good. It tends to not feel as good because there's more of that resistance that's then being brought into place. So the idea, if we want to unkink those hoses, is we need to reidentify and reassociate ourselves with how we relate to our environment or how we relate from who we are to other people. Well, let me give you an example of something that I did in my own life. Well, I used to have what is fundamentally called ADHD. Now when you have ADHD, as many of you know, a lot of times people will be prescribed what is called Adderall. And what Adderall does is it makes it so that it's easier to focus, but there's some harsh side effects. The side effects are it's harder to eat and it's harder to sleep at night. So what I did was, this is about 4 years ago, I decided that I was going to find other solutions naturally, and I came across the research of meditation, how powerful meditation can be in correlation to how the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain works that deals with concentration and mindfulness. And as I began to do the research, I began to see that there is proof that this is something that can be powerful. So I started to then identify with meditation, which was something that completely changed my life because within weeks I completely gave up Adderall. I've never had to take it since then. I meditate 20 minutes right in the morning when I wake up and 20 minutes right before I go to bed, and I haven't missed a day in like 4 years. The idea behind that though is I reidentified with the idea altogether of ADHD. Now the reason I did that was because if we think about something and we think it's a disorder and we think that there's no solution to it, it then becomes a sort of wall because we, we believe that we can't get outside and through that wall because it's something, it's part of who we are. So then what I did is I relabeled it. I said, I have a shitload of energy, and even if you're watching this video, you can probably tell that I have a lot of energy. But what I did was, is I now see ADHD as kind of, in a way, something that can be used positively because I think very differently because I've had ADHD. I'm a more eccentric person, I believe, because of it, but I also have a lot of energy. The way that I moderate that is I have tools that get me into alignment because I don't view it as an obstacle anymore. I— or I don't view it as a roadblock. I view it as something that I balance out. So what I did was I reframed what that was, and because I reframed it, I then used it in a positive way to where now I actually get benefit out of it because the way I view it. Understand that the filter of our mind is what's going to allow us to feel and be present and to be who we truly desire to be or to be more ourselves. So the idea is if there's something, some way that you define yourself that you don't prefer, think about it in a different way. Think, how can I work with this How can I use this as something that's powerful? Does this make me different? And a lot of times being different is actually a good thing. So I believe that reframing it is one of the most powerful things we can do, and that, that's the way that we get the hose to work in a more fluid way to where then we are feeling that because we're actually being ourselves. Now, another part of this is not looking for validation from other people. A lot of times what we believe is that we need to seek validation from other people and we need people to accept us. It's something I was talking about earlier in the video. The idea is that once you completely love and accept yourself, once you completely love and look at the characteristics that you have and you appreciate those, you're then not going to look outside yourself for that validation. But there's a paradox there. The paradox is that when you aren't looking for that validation from other people because you feel it so ingrained inside of you and a part of who you are, A lot of times you'll get that validation, but this is the thing: you don't need it anymore because you are validating yourself. So the key to being yourself is understanding that you can reframe the things that make you— that you think are roadblocks. You can reframe them, use it in a powerful way, and that the more you do that, the more you actually get benefit out of it. The other thing you can do is to love yourself more, appreciate the different characteristics of who you are, and the more you do that, the better you're going to feel. And then that's part of being who you are, because who you are, your natural state, I believe, is to feel good. So follow the feeling, do the things that really feel good to you. And as you do that, you're going to begin to develop a momentum to where you follow the feeling and it's something that's very natural to do. So I hope this video helps you at some level today. Know that you can completely love yourself. You can reframe the things that you think are roadblocks and turn it into an obstacle that you can use for your benefit. Other than that, have a great day. Feel free to like or subscribe below, and I'll see you guys on the next video. Have a great day. Bye.
