The Secret to WHY you Self Sabotage? (5 ways to STOP the Cycle INSTANTLY)

If there's one thing that more than anything else will block us from experiencing our dream reality, it's self-sabotage. On your journey to success, you're going to notice that there's different subconscious things you do that are in place to keep you safe, to keep you in the familiar zone of where you are. And if you start to get success and you start to get an amazing relationship or you're— you start to move away from what has been your base point, There are things that'll happen that you will subconsciously sabotage yourself to keep you in familiar territory. And in this video, I'm gonna show you how you can apply the 5 Vs. These 5 Vs, I believe, will completely transform your life the way that they did for me. And it'll be something that helps you to really create your dream life in an easier way. And it'll save you a lot of time too. These are things that literally took me 3 or 4 years to learn and exponentialize everything once I learned it. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. So on this video, I'm going to be sharing with you the 5 Vs. We're going to learn how to pound the 5 Vs. The pound— the 5 Vs are right here. We're going to go through it here in a minute, but first off, we have to understand what is self-sabotage. It is like tarjay. It's a more fancy way of saying sabotage. Now I was watching something. I actually wasn't watching this at all. I don't know why I said that. I was walking around my neighborhood last night and I called my friend Matt and he's a huge tennis fan and just recently I guess there was some Grand Slam thing where this guy, I don't know if I'm saying his name right, but it's something Djokovic or something like that. He's like one of the most famous tennis players. It shows you how much I know about tennis. But he was sharing with me, um, you know, he's how good this guy is. This guy is phenomenal, like one of the best to ever play the game. Apparently he is in finals and this guy would have been one of the only people in the last 50 years to won like 3 different competitions within the same year or some, some crazy thing like that. And my buddy Matt was watching the whole process of this and here the guy is, has already won 2 of these competitions, like 2 of these separate competitions. And he's getting ready to possibly win the world thing title or whatever for the third. And it would be the first time in 50 years that it's done. This guy gets to the very last round, like the very last competition and he loses. He's like about to win this crazy thing and then he loses at the last minute. And my friend Matt said he choked. He like had it all in the bag, but he choked. He got in his head about it. And the moment he said this, I said to him, I know nothing about this guy really other than a couple things. but I said, dude, he self-sabotaged himself. It's sabotage. There was something about the energy dynamic. There was something about the way he viewed himself. Maybe there was even a little bit excess pressure he was putting on himself to where then what happened is he ended up sabotaging his own success. I think he's in a parallel reality or something. He won that, but he got into his own head and because of his self-image, because of the way he views himself, it was like he was doing these little micro movements and things that sabotaged him winning and being the, like, maybe the best to ever play the game. I mean, my friend Matt said that if he won this, he'd be the best player ever played the game, but maybe he's already that, but it'd be like really solidify him in that. So that made me think of self-sabotage and also think in my own life of how many times I've sabotaged myself when it comes to being successful on YouTube, when it comes to me making more money. I remember one time I made like $5,000 or $6,000. I got $5,000 or $6,000 from something back. This is before I was on YouTube. And I remember seeing the $6,000 in my account and I was like, for me, that was so much money. I was like, $6,000, that's a lot of stuff or whatever I was thinking. I was only used to living paycheck to paycheck. So all of a sudden I have $6,000 in my account. Guess what I did with it? I found ways to either spend it or actually I think I had bills come. I had like other things happen because it was not my natural base point for me to have that much amount in my bank account. And so there were things that came up where I sabotaged it and spent it or actually had bills that came up that I had to pay that kind of came out of nowhere. And I look back now and I can very clearly see that that was a form of self-sabotage. Now here's the thing, and here's one of the things that I think will change your life when you start to understand this, okay? I'm gonna bring it in a little bit closer. We're gonna get just a little bit more intimate here, okay? I've been doing the camera a little bit further back though, just so it's not, we're not so close that you feel like, dude, I have intimacy blocks. I need you to just a little further away. So here I am. I remember when I first got on Instagram and I was starting to grow, I was like, some of my Instagrams were like this close. And there was this girl that I used to know and she's like, 'You need to stand further back,' or something like that. I felt so self-conscious. She's like, 'Could you back up a little?' She commented on it. I was like, 'Oh, am I too close?' But this is, there's a purpose to this. Actually, I'm gonna, it's even too close for me, okay? My own intimacy box. So this is the way, and this is what happens with self-sabotage, and this is why it happens. So think of this as the layers of ourself, okay? Right here we have in the middle, we have identity, we have our beliefs about who we are. Then at the second layer, we have feelings, our feelings about who we are. And then at the third level, we have behaviors. See, these are our actions, these are our feelings and how, and based on the meaning we give things. So identity/meaning, identity/meaning is the center core. Now what happens is, we may take action. I started taking action back in 2017 of making daily videos on YouTube and it completely transformed my life and it caused a lot of success. But before I did that, I also started to see myself as a YouTuber. I started saying, why not me? And then what happened is from this, there's feelings where I'm in passionate state. That's, this is what really changed my life. Now what happens with self-sabotage is people may change their behaviors, Something on their outside reality may change, but unless you change your identity, it will not be natural for you, and you will find subconscious things you do to sabotage it. This could be drinking alcohol, smoking, it could be substances, this could be little patterns, little things you do in relationship. I know for me, I had this thing where I didn't feel worthy in relationships, so when I would meet someone, I was dating some woman and it was like things are going good, I would like find ways to like kind of sabotage it. And it was like subconscious, but it was like I literally had a belief and part of my identity is I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy of love, so how can I attract somebody that is able to express that nurturing, loving energy back to me? If I'd start to feel that, I'd be like, what's going on here? This doesn't feel comfortable, this doesn't feel safe, which really means this just isn't familiar. The key to this is realizing that this is an identity problem. This is not feelings, it's not a behavioral problem, problem. This is an identity problem. And the key to this is becoming aware of what the core is, the core belief. The root of this is becoming aware of the core beliefs, the core beliefs. And when you do this, it changes absolutely everything. I know my buddy right now, he's going through where he's starting to become more and more successful. And he's like starting to make a lot more money than he used to make. And what happens is it's like he doesn't feel worthy of this level of money and he's always looking for the shoe to drop. He's always, it's like he'll make like literally like $100,000 in like a month and then be like, okay, I still don't have enough. Or I still like, this is, this is not normal. I think I need to like spend this or, you know, and he's got like, you know, 3 kids and a wife and he's got all these expenses and stuff, but It's very obvious to me that, see, this is his own form of self-sabotage, which means it's an identity thing. Does he believe he's worthy of making a lot of abundance? Does he believe that things can be easy? That's another thing. I was with my buddy Owen the other day who owns like a live events company, and I was joking around and giving him shit because he always says, he has this thing with business where like, Things have to be very hard for him and he knows this. He knows this is one of his limiting beliefs, but it's like things have to be extraordinarily hard. He got successful from like grinding it out on YouTube, from like going out and doing these crazy things that no one else was doing at live events and stuff. And he's very successful at that. However, he realizes that he's like stressed out and it's something that's like not actually benefiting him because he believes he has to work so hard to be successful. We were at this, he just got done doing a live event here in Austin. We're at this place getting IVs done. And the lady that was taking his blood pressure was like, you need to calm down. Told him like, you need to calm down and just chill for like 5 minutes so that your blood pressure can go down so that I can give you an IV. 'Cause his blood pressure is high because he's always going, going, going, going. Things always have to be hard. And it was funny though, because he talks a lot. He's like me, he talks a lot, but he had to literally be quiet for like 5 minutes before he was allowed to like, you know, get the IV put in. So he was just like sitting there, I was like, this is very hard for you, isn't it? He's like, yeah, no. I can just tell. But it's funny though, because I'm like, dude, not everything has to be so hard for you. You can allow it to be easier. And this is like the key to understanding what this is. So first off, let's go into one of the first Vs, and then we're gonna go into the core beliefs, which I think will change everything. Now, the first V is values. What are your values? This is a way that you stop self-sabotaging. Your values are at the core of your identity. Now, one of the ways I was sabotaging myself was with love relationships. What I would do is I would be a people pleaser. I'd want other people to validate me. I'd want other people to like me. So what I would do is I'd be focused on them and their experience, and I would abandon myself, and I would value their validation and their approval over my own. Over even knowing what are my actual values. And what happened is I became aware that I valued what other people thought so much because I had such a low sense of self-worth and I was so afraid of being abandoned by other people that it would depolarize my sexual relationships with like, you know, who I'm dating. It's like, well, if I'm like changing my center of gravity to fix someone else or changing that to make someone else happy, they don't feel safe. How can the feminine feel safe? So I had to realize that for me to stop sabotaging my love life, I had to become aware of my values and I had to start valuing authenticity and vulnerability, which we'll talk about here in a minute, more than that of people's approval, people's validation. And when I did that, everything in my life started to change. I started to have more pro— like I started to have more vulnerable conversations with other people, but I started to feel so much more alive. And it changed everything in my life. And this is one of the major keys that we wanna become aware of is are you living according to your values? And what are your values? Do you value authenticity? Do you, like, whatever you wanna attract in someone else, you must first value it within yourself and also first embody it in yourself. So what I had to do is I had to become aware also that I had this core wound. So there's 3 core wounds. The first one I'll go into right now. Okay, by the way, if you're liking this video, if you like these more in-depth videos where we really break all of this down and shift it, so it's like the intention is for us to shift it, then go ahead and like this video, shift that like button and comment below and say, yo, what up? Just say what up, I don't know why. It was funny, I was coming up with the 5 Vs and I almost couldn't think of the last one 'cause I was like, I think it all needs to be Vs. It's so easy to remember, right? 5 Vs. So I was just gonna put vacation. It's got nothing to do with this whole video and self-sabotage, but doesn't everyone like vacation? So it was like, I was trying to force it to work though. Anyways, value. Okay, now the first one, abandonment and rejection is one of the main core beliefs we have that will sabotage ourselves. So for me, part of my identity and part of the number one like block I had is I was afraid to be abandoned by other people. I felt abandoned when I was a kid, emotionally unavailability that was there when I was a child. And I felt like I'm not worthy. I need to change myself. I need to change someone else. If I could fix whoever I'm with or whoever I'm dating or whatever and get them to love me, then I'll finally be enough because I didn't feel enough. And what I really had to do is realize this though. Here's the crazy thing. When people are so concerned about what other people think or also trying to fix other people, what they're afraid of or what they don't realize is that they have already abandoned themselves to please other people. So the abandonment has already happened. And the thing that I had to realize is I must stop abandoning myself for other by having a value of other people's validation of what other people think and all these things. And once I became aware of these things and I realized the core of this, and this is something, by the way, we talk about in the 21 Day Magnetic Love Challenge, it's 21 days in a row of us healing these core wounds right here. So that we can either have deeper relationships with someone we're already in a relationship with or remove love blocks so that we can attract love in. We've had over 4,000 people go through this. It's extraordinarily powerful. You can check it out below or go to aarondoughty.com/love and check it out there and you guys can join. But one of the main things I realized through going through this process is that I felt abandoned when I was a kid and I thought that it was my fault. There was shame. And if we have a level of shame with our identity, which means I'm broken, there's something wrong with me, how can we become successful in love, in our business or anything? Because I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. There's a fundamental belief there. And what I had to realize was that my parents' emotional unavailability when I was growing up wasn't my fault. Their divorce when I was 5 wasn't my fault. And I want you to know that right now and right meow, is that's not your fault. The things that happened when you were a kid, it's not your fault. And when you're able to separate your energy from theirs, you're able to start taking your energy back and you start to say, what do I value? Because it was a survival mechanism for you to tune to every other people, all the other people to not get abandoned or rejected. And when you still realize that you can only reject yourself and you've probably been rejecting yourself by not living according to your values, that's when you really start to wake up in a powerful way. Now, the second thing is vulnerability. This is one of the most powerful things I've brought into my life recent, like even this last couple years is vulnerability. Vulnerability is the key to opening up your heart and to becoming aware of these things that are sabotaging you. So for me, vulnerability means that like I am so bought in on having and being authentic that I am just opening up around other friends and family. Things I used to not say, I say now. Sometimes it triggers more people, but guess what? It's so much more real and it's so much more empowering. And because I wasn't having harder conversations with people or saying no, this is another part of vulnerability is saying no. You might sabotage yourself because the 5 people you keep around the most are people that maybe aren't elevating your vibration. I know that when I worked a 9 to 5 job I hated, I was surrounded by people and I hung out with people that worked 9 to 5 jobs they hated. And if I kept saying yes to them all the time and I didn't have the balls to say no, I'd stay in that vibration. I would be sabotaging myself. I had to get very honest with myself. And part of this too was I remember something I think that sabotaged myself for a long time was the substances I was using. I was drinking, I was smoking a lot of cannabis. Not everyone that smokes cannabis, I believe, is it always bad? But for me, I was using it to numb my pain. I didn't wanna go into my childhood. Many of you know my childhood from my other videos, Once I started going into this and I started opening up my heart, this is when everything began to change. Vulnerability is the cure to shame. When you say I'm broken, you don't want other people to know you're broken. So you'll do anything you can to get other people to like you and not to see, and you'll present a level of perfectionism. That's another sign of self-sabotage, perfectionism. Does everything you do have to be perfect? I know when I started making YouTube videos, I was like, I have to have everything figured out. I have to know how to edit. I have to have all the great ideas. I have to have some coaching certificate. I have to have all these things or I can't start. That perfectionism was self-sabotage, keeping me safe. But if I believe I'm broken, then I want everyone else to believe that I'm worthy. So the thing you could do is the key outta shame is vulnerability. I remember there were certain things from my childhood that I was very shameful of. I remember when I started to share them with people, Holy shit. It opened up a whole new, I was like, wait, what am I? The shame went away. Vulnerability and sharing these things. That's one thing that we do in the 21-day challenge as well is it's accountability. So there's like things that you actually do. And one of them is a vulnerability challenge where you call someone that maybe you haven't talked to in a while and you have a vulnerable conversation with them and it opens up a, I mean, there's people that have been through the challenge that literally have reconnected with old best friends, old family members they haven't talked to in years. And it's so cool because now they have like powerful relationships where they're coming from their own values and that vulnerability opens up so that you release the shame that's inside the identity that's keeping you from people, from finding out who you really are, that at least that's the belief. Now the third thing is the validate. Now you must self-validate yourself. You must self-validate yourself or you will always look to the outside for other people to validate you. And one of the things that sabotage us the most is that we give a shit what other people think about us. And we care so much that we will keep ourselves small to not outshine others. It's another form of self-sabotage. Were you an only child or did you have siblings growing up? When I was 3, my brother was born and I remember when he was born, I don't actually remember it. I just know that when he was born, I remember the attention shifted from me to him and I started feeling like maybe I'm not worthy. He was also in the hospital a lot. He had stuff going on. And I remember that growing up, I never wanted the attention on me, even birthdays and stuff like that because I didn't want my brother to feel small. It's a form of self-sabotage. Am I afraid of my own power? Am I afraid of what other people will think? Am I afraid of letting other people down or feel small? I know even going to like friend's house, even after I become successful on YouTube and it's like when I go and hang out with friends sometimes, I'm afraid to talk about my life. Sometimes I'm afraid to share shit on YouTube because I'm afraid that it'll make me unrelatable because now my problems are very different than when I started. When I started on YouTube, I was like, oh, I'm learning this, I'm learning that. It was much closer to, I think, what was relatable. And now it's like, how do I not pay a lot of money? And I'm learning how to write off taxes in a different way 'cause I don't wanna pay $500,000 a year of taxes. You see what I mean? But those aren't relatable. So if I share it, it's like, oh my goodness, but I'm realizing what's authentic, back to the vulnerability, but the caring what other people think and wanting people to view me in a certain way, that comes also from this core wound of abandonment and rejection. But let's get now to the second core belief. There's three main core beliefs. Abandonment, rejection, that's the first one. Second one is worthiness, worthiness. Do we believe we are worthy of love? Do we believe we are worthy of money. If we don't believe we are, we will sabotage ourselves. If you believe because of your identity that you are only worthy of making $50,000 per year, you will block out opportunities where you could be making $100,000 or you could work for yourself or whatever the situation could be because the self-preservation mechanism inside of us, our identity, is doing anything it can to remain consistent to what's safe and familiar. So if you want to change and you want to stop self-sabotaging yourself, you must become aware of what your identity is, what your base point vibration is. One of the things that changed my life the most is when I read the book Psycho-Cybernetics back in like 2012, and I learned about the self-image. The self-image was something that I learned about and I started to apply, and I realized I saw myself as an average sales employee working women's shoes. I started to see myself as a top sales employee and I started being a top sales employee. I started saying, why not me? I started, I had little blocks come up and then I was like, how would the version of Aaron that's a top salesperson, how would I greet customers? Would I greet just one customer? Would I be selective or would I greet everybody? Would I be in abundance? Would I add value to people? Would I joke around with people or I'd be very serious? Like I started to be this version of me and within days I was a top salesperson. So then I said, can I apply this to being full-time on YouTube? What would the full-time version of Aaron be doing? Making daily videos. That's a behavior. But I started to say, why not just be a full-time YouTuber? This is one of the keys to this whole process is realizing your identity is not static, it's not fixed, and it doesn't have to be living in the past. It's a flexible noodle. I always use that analogy, but it's like, think of a noodle, it's not al dente where it like snaps and it's done. It's like, what do you call it? It's like flexible, it's malleable. Your identity is malleable. You are who you choose to be right now. That's who you are. And every moment you're constantly changing. It's just that we constantly change to be the same thing over and over again because it feels safe and familiar. So getting to your core and realizing what your identity is is key because then you'll realize why you're sabotaging yourself and you can start to do the inner work. Would people judge? You think, you know, you may not realize it, but you may think you're gonna be judged if you make more money. You may think that you're gonna like, Your mom or dad are gonna get jealous if you're in a happy relationship and your love life. These are subconscious things, but when you become aware of them, that's when everything begins to change. So the key to most of this process is awareness. It really is awareness and becoming aware of these things. Now, the validation you can start to give to yourself. Can you validate yourself because you're living in according to your values and you're being vulnerable? You're opening up and you're releasing the shame. Now the fourth step is the vision. Now the vision is very important. I had to have a vision of the version of Aaron as a full-time YouTuber. Even now I'm letting go and I realize that I even sabotage myself now from going into the version of me that's not just focused on YouTube, but doing live events. How do I sabotage myself? I procrastinate like a mofo. I'm procrastinating. My friend that runs those live events reached out to me recently and was like, hey, come speak at this live event. I had this, I was watching Game of Thrones, so I said no. It's a really good episode. But also I was tired and I had all these excuses. Some of those excuses I think were legit and some of them, I honestly, I think I was procrastinating and waiting. I ended up going to his event the next day, which didn't have room for me to speak because it was like he was finishing up stuff. So I got to go see what he does and it planted seeds of how much I wanna be doing live events. But I could have actually spoke if I went the day earlier. I should have done that. But guess what? I was sabotaging myself. I was procrastinating. I was waiting. You wanna know? For like 2 years on YouTube, I made 1 or 2 YouTube videos and I went like months and months and months without making videos. You wanna know why? I was like, it was just, I was waiting. I was waiting for the right camera equipment, waiting for the right ideas, waiting for someone to put me on, waiting. The procrastination for me was something that like, it was a way that I was sabotaging myself from really stepping into the new version of me because the new version of me was unknown, it was kind of scary. So, but if you have a vision, it makes it way easier. Have a vision and a why. So the vision of the version of me that was a full-time YouTuber had different values than the other, the other version of me valued, the 9 to 5 job version of me valued safety, valued certainty of a paycheck, it valued like conformity and listening to upper management, even though I didn't agree with it, that version of me valued that, being told what to do. This new version of me valued initiative, willpower, taking action, just starting, not having everything figured out, but just moving ahead. And that changed my self-identity. I literally was like, if I can do this, I can do anything. And then from there I learned internet marketing. And then from there I went from making like, you know, whatever I was making like at my job, like $60,000 a year, all of a sudden I'm way more successful. And it's because I took initiative and you start, the blocks are gonna come up regardless. But when the blocks come up, you have a vision of your why. Why are you doing it? Because it's who you really are. You came here to be that version of you. And another aspect I'll talk about for a sec is pressure. There's something called pressure. Now pressure, that tennis guy had a lot of pressure and that pressure got to him because he made it very important. He stopped being in the moment and he started being in the future. And the thing I wanna encourage you to do is your vision is something that you're not doing to get somewhere else, you're doing it because it's who you are and it's natural for your identity. Sabotage is when it's really, really cool, if you made like $100,000 a year, then it's like this frantic thing. But if it's just natural for you, you act differently. Your values are in alignment with it and you're doing it because it's who you are, not 'cause of what it'll get you. If I make a YouTube video right now that I'm like, guys, please like this video, please subscribe. I just need to get to more subscribers, more validation. And if you please do that, that would be great. Like if I make videos I think you're gonna like, it's a different energy than me making videos that I just think like are vulnerable, authentic. And I'm making this video 'cause I enjoy making the video. People that like do really well on YouTube, they fucking love YouTube. MrBeast, you guys know who MrBeast is? He's like the most well-known YouTuber probably. Aaron Doughty, growing like crazy. Super, seems like a super legit guy. I hope to meet him one day. But he, and what he's done is he is so fricking passionate about YouTube. He nerds out talking about the algorithm. He gets up every day. He spends 10 hours a day focused on the algorithm. When I got really good on YouTube in the beginning, like now I don't focus as much on YouTube as I used to. If I wanted to put all my energy on YouTube, I could, and I would do better than what I'm doing, or I guess it would grow quicker. but he's just a little nerd about it. He loves it. And because of that, he's able to put that energy into it and it's growing like crazy. And it's funny to see, he's doing it not because of just the subscribers and all this stuff, but it's also his passion. He really loves it. And that's why it's important to become aware of that. Now the fifth step, and let's go also the core belief, the last core belief is control. It's control, it's trust, learning to trust more. And how many of you feel like maybe you start to let go a little bit and then you have to hold back on and you remain attached? That's me in many ways. And I know, I believe things have to be really hard. My friend Owen, he has the self-sabotage of like he believes everything has to be really hard for him to be successful. So he is always grinding it out and his blood pressure's high and he's gotta not talk for 5 minutes before he can get like this IV thing put on. It's because letting go of control is hard for him because if he did, maybe he did let go in the past And when he did let go, maybe things didn't go so well, or, you know, there were things he probably, he went through in his business where he didn't have control and that made him feel anxiety. And then he felt like he had to control everything and now he's got all this pressure. So one of the main things and one of the main points of this video is becoming aware of that control and learning that you can let go, you can trust more, you can allow things to be easy. You have to relook at your identity and your core beliefs and realize that as you begin to trust more, you know, I have a lot of control in my business because I think that I was controlled growing up because for 7 to 15 years old, the whole ex-stepmom thing, I wasn't allowed to really be the most expansive version of me. So because of that, guess what happened? It was like, I have to control my own life now. I'm used to that sift of control. So I noticed my diet, the way I eat, like I control aspects of my life because I'm used to that energy and that's familiar for me. But the fifth V is vacation. Just kidding, it's victimless. What you wanna do is you wanna realize that if you feel like a victim and your identity is being a victim, you will continue to create experiences where you are the victim. I had a belief about women always trying to control me. Even after my ex-stepmom left, I kept attracting women in my life that wanted to control me. And I literally felt like the victim. And I realized even recently, I still have threads of feeling like a victim. Where I'm addicted to it, I don't even know it. Like I've had certain things that have happened in different things, like a contractor for my house in Sedona, for example, I told this story before, but just like I paid him like 17 grand upfront to have all this work done. Once I paid him, he disappeared. And then I eventually, I realized I wanted to sell the house or list the house or rent the house out. And I was like, actually, I don't need some of this work done since you were supposed to have it done in 30 days and it's been like 2, 3 months now. I need to get someone moved in because I'm paying a lot of money per month for it. And he then was just nowhere to be found. And then eventually I was like, okay, then I need that money back. And when I did, he already spent it. He didn't have it. So then he argued with me on different things. It took an extra month to get it back. And I realized that I was a victim. I was trying to be right. See, I couldn't trust this person. And I realized that that was a core belief there, to believe in that I'm worthy of that. And also a core belief that maybe aligned me to then making the choice to pay him upfront. If I didn't pay him upfront, it wouldn't have been an issue. Around and he would've got it done in the timeframe. But I was coming back to, I was coming to Austin. So I was like, oh, I might as well pay you now and get it over with. And I trust you, but I have a belief that I couldn't trust. And that's why it was there. But victim, become aware things are not happening to you. Things are happening for you. A couple weeks after this happened, I was on a plane going from Phoenix to San Diego. And when I was on that flight, I saw a guy named Jocko Willick. I didn't talk to him or anything cause I was like, just let him do his thing. He has a book called Extreme Ownership. He's like a Marine guy and I've always seen him around like this personal development space. So on the flight, I've decided to buy his book on extreme ownership. And part of being a leader is taking ownership over everything. Everything is kind of your fault. I allowed that guy to, I paid him $17K for him to then like, you know, kind of like screw me over in a way, but that was my fault. I shouldn't have done that. And as I started to like realize that things are happening for me, not to me, that's when everything changed. And then I could make new choices, right? So these are the 3 Vs, values, vulnerability, validation, vision, and victim. And when you start to apply, you start to transform them, it'll change your whole life. And then the core beliefs that you must change is the abandonment wound, the worthiness wound, realizing you deserve love, you deserve all these things. You have to let go of the belief and the shame that's in the identity. And then thirdly, you can control, you don't have to control, you can trust more, more often, things will become easier for you. You guys haven't done the 21 Day Magnetic Love Challenge yet, click the link below and join. One of the most powerful things we've done. Also subscribe if you haven't already. We've got a lot more videos coming out like this video. If you liked it and want longer form videos like this, let me know. Otherwise maybe I'll go back to 12-minute videos. That is an option. You let me know. And as well, I'll talk to you later. Peace, much love, and namaste.