The shadow of manifesting 1 Million Youtube subscribers (I am scared to share)

For literally 3 years, I visualized this coming. I visualized the receiving of this exact package almost every single night before I go to bed. This is something I was thinking about, and it's an interesting thing because now that it is actually here, this gold play button which comes from YouTube once someone has hit a million subscribers on YouTube This is something that they send, which I think is pretty cool. And the thing about it though is it's not exactly what you think when it comes to— like, I know a lot of people, they make videos and they're like, look at the gold play button I got. Oh my God, thank you so much. And in a way, I think a lot of times when you see that, not judging anybody, not calling anybody out, but I think there's this deep level of craving a sense of significance. And this significance, wanting to be, wanting to have this, which means is it's a symbol of a lot of people like my stuff, a lot of people like me. The interesting thing is it's not exactly what you think. There's a whole shadow that comes along with this. Now, of course, there are people that can receive this that don't have that significance, but I'm gonna be completely honest with you. When I was first getting on YouTube, And yet up until this last year, I've been working through my own sense of worthiness and understanding that no amount of number, no amount of plaque, no amount of reward for some type of achievement is going to actually give me that satisfaction unless I feel it within myself already. And that's why in this video, what I want to do is get vulnerable with you and share with you the shadow of what it took to manifest 1 million subscribers on YouTube and really create my dream life. I live life on my terms. I had— most of you know the story. I'll tell the story again though, but I worked a 9 to 5 job selling women's shoes in 2017, started to go daily on YouTube even while I had that job. And then within a short period of time, within 6 months, I quit that job and I was working full time making YouTube videos. And my whole entire life transformed. It's a place where I travel, do what I love. I make YouTube videos, I make content, I do events. I really live my dream life now and it's amazing, but underneath that desire, underneath what drove me in the beginning, I can see that even though there was an intention of adding value to other people and helping other people to raise their level of consciousness, deep down there was a part of myself that really wanted to prove it to the world, my own sense of worth. Like if I can add so much value to people and if I can get so many people to like what I have to say, then I'll feel love. I'll feel whole. I'll feel complete. And I think that a lot of times significance, wanting to be somebody, wanting to be more worthy or more valuable is something that may drive us. And if we're not aware of it, it'll just keep driving us and keep having us feel more and more empty. So in this video, I want to share what it took for me to go from that 9 to 5 job to having and accomplishing this because this was a goal. And the first thing I want to say as well is, as cheesy as it sounds, and, and everyone, you know, that— but it really is, I want to say thank you to everyone that watches because this is a symbol of how many people are waking up in the world and how many people are opening up this kind of information. So I genuinely do appreciate every single one of you here. Part of me honestly felt guilty for receiving this because when I received it, I realized that for 2 or 3 years, what really drove me is deep down wanting to be significant, deep down wanting to be like, to have that kind of attention and to feel better about myself. And what I've realized though is that that really has to come from within. And because I had that realization, I lived in that autopilot mind of seeking like views and seeking, you know, validation. When I received this, I was like, oh, I can't enjoy it. But the thing I realized though is that I can still enjoy This, this does represent 1,500 videos on YouTube. That's a lot of work, you know, and it represents every single one of you. It represents impact. It represents, um, the influence that we all have because I believe that we're all on the leading edge of this type of information and there's a lot of people in the world that are still asleep or not even open to this kind of information or gone through spiritual awakening and they're about to. And you, all of you watching this are a part of that transition. Are a part of holding that energy and helping other people to wake up. I'm sure there's people in your family and friends that weren't open to this information, maybe through being around you, that's just rubbed off on them, you know? So I just wanna say thank you. And just to say that I'm not saying thank you and like, you know, back in the day, what I would've done is I would've posted this on social media like the first day I got it. I'd be like, look guys, thank you so much. And I don't know, maybe I'll still do that somehow, but I just want you to know that it's not with the underlying emotion of like, am I worthy now? Now I finally have this goal. That I goaled myself out for so long. And I want you to know that a lot of times when you manifest what you want, it becomes so natural for you that it's not on this pedestal like it was years ago or months ago or whenever you wanted it. And that what the mind will do normally is look for something else. So it's never happy in the present moment, never feels completely worthy. It's like, oh, a million, okay, now what about this next thing? And it's just a, it's just a, it's like a carrot on a stick that you keep running after. So anyways, we'll go ahead and I'm gonna explain to you the story of, how this happened, what I learned along the process, and what you can know about that for you. The first thing that I had to do to manifest my dream life, to create the abundance that I have and even grow that following on YouTube, it required one thing. And this one thing makes all the difference in the world. It required a choice, a decision, a decision for me to go after the vision and to stop thinking that it's all about thinking and all about, you know, just sitting around and visualizing. That's what I was doing for literally 2 or 3 years. What I did is I was thinking about being on YouTube. I was visualizing it. I had this grandiose idea that I was gonna meet Tony Robbins. He's gonna come into that of Barney's New York, and I was gonna help him, and he's gonna see this potential in me. He's gonna put me on stage. That's literally how I thought. And then eventually what I realized is is that not necessarily that no one's gonna put me on, but that I can't rely on that. And that what I need to do is I need to take the initiative and I need to become the kind of person that has that reality. So this is what I did. I was living at my dad's house and I was working that 9 to 5 job selling women's shoes at Barney's New York in Las Vegas. And what happened is I just had, if you've heard my stories before, my videos before, then you know that I've already told this, but I was literally walking into the bathroom and I just had this download, this idea that if I made a video every single day for a year, my life would transform. Recently as well, I read a book called Crushing It by Gary Vee, Gary Vaynerchuk, and it was all about like hard work, taking action, and it kind of had an effect on me even though I was like, oh, that sounds so low vibrational. Taking action, that sounds low vibrational. I'm just going to think it. I'm just going to think a better thought. But what I realized is that the more I took action— so then what I did is I made the choice, I'm going to make a video every single day for a year and my life will transform. That was almost like an inner knowing that I have. So what I did is just that. Even though I was working 40 hours a week, I would work 8-hour shifts, go to the, uh, on the strip, work sometimes till 11 or 12 at night because we were on in Vegas, we were open late. And then what I would do is every night or every day I'd be making a video. I would Schedule the video, make the thumbnail, post it to go out, schedule it to go out the next day. And that's what I did moving forward. It wasn't always easy. There were times I was— I'd get home at 1 in the morning and do that. But I knew that if I stayed consistent to that vision, my life would transform. And guess what happened? 2 or 3 weeks into it, I had one video called The Most Powerful Way to Transform— like, a subconscious mind change, change your subconscious mind, and most powerful technique to transform your subconscious mind. And it was like this one where my big bug eye, I was like, I was so surprised that went viral, but it did. And within days I went, within a month I went from 3,000 subscribers on YouTube to 20,000. I was like, holy shit. I was like, there's all this, what's going on? And then I just, I kept doing it. I kept doing it. I kept doing it. And then little videos here and there would pop. And what happened is in August 2017, I had my last day of work, which was the Conor McGregor Mayweather fight, and I specifically decided to work because I knew it's a commission job and I knew they'd make a lot of money because it was in Vegas. And I went home, watched the fight that night, and that was my last day of ever having a 9-to-5 job. And that was the most exciting time of my life, was that newness of buying my time back. And I always tell people, the biggest change you'll ever make in your life is not from making one amount of money to another amount of money. It's if you go from working for somebody else to working for yourself. It's huge, makes a huge difference. So, um, that was so exciting. Then what happened is I developed a belief system, and that belief system said that I had to work hard to be successful. And for 2 or 3 years, I was making videos every single day. Literally, that's why I have 1,500 videos on this channel. And what I realized is that I kept that pressure on, and even when it wasn't serving me, I wasn't enjoying life as much. I remember I did some plant medicine ceremonies and in Costa Rica and just had this realization like, I'm not enjoying the present moment. I'm just trying to make more. I was making a video every day no matter what, even if I had a bad day, something's happened to my family, make a video. That was my mentality and it served me. But what I've learned in the shadow of that is then because I was rewarded so much for making the videos and I had so much positive feedback, it just propelled me to keep going. And this is where that level of significance comes in because those of you that know my childhood, wasn't, you know, between 7 to 16 years old with the whole ex-stepmom situation, there was a lot of pain there, you know, and a lot of that pain led to me not feeling worthy. And then from there also, there were some people in my family— like, my mom always believed in me, my real mom. There's some people in my family that didn't necessarily believe in, you know, me doing the videos, or they thought I should be going to college or doing something else. Some friends, I'd tell them, I— this is what I'm doing for YouTube, I could see the glaze in their eyes, almost like, yeah, right, it's not gonna work, you know. And, and I was like, I gotta prove— I'm gonna prove people wrong. That was another aspect of the shadow. I wanted to prove people wrong. I wanted to accomplish this. And then what happened is you originally get into something because you love it. And I do love making videos. I love adding value. And I think one of the main reasons of why this worked is because I committed to that vision. And every single day I took action, which changed who I become. One of the most powerful parts of this is that it changed my self-image. I used to see myself as somebody that didn't take action, that was just thinking better thoughts and visualizing. Then I saw myself as somebody that could go after something and, and create and really do it. It changed my sense of willpower, and that really is what changed my life. Because remember, you don't always get in life what you want, but you always get a reflection of who you are. So I became the version of Aaron that was a full-time YouTuber because I was making daily videos, and that was the reality. And every single one of you listening may have an ideal reality of what you want to experience. Visualize that version of you and then ask for a message. See, what is the one thing I could do every day that would transform my life? And as you go for that every single day, carry with it the identity that that is who you prefer to be. But the advice that I can give you about this whole process is that if it's seeking the goal, thinking that the goal is going to make you happy, I promise you that no matter what it'll always extend out even more unless you first feel happy, unless you feel the emotions of already having these things. Now the funny thing is that when you elevate your vibe, these things come in even easier. I remember thinking that when, oh, 100,000 YouTube subscribers hit, I would like— I had this grandiose idea that when I got the 100,000 subscribers YouTube plaque, I was gonna go to the gym. Everyone was gonna like say, hey Aaron, good job. Like everyone's gonna recognize me. You're so crazy. Crazy. Significance-driven. And I remember hitting it, it was like 98,000, and then I went to bed one night and there's this video called— on raising— it was actually filmed here in Sedona. It was on 5 things you must give up to raise your vibration, and that video went viral. And the next day I woke up, it was at 100,000. I was like, oh, that was the big goal, you know. I was already doing what I love full-time, and what I did is it just immediately the mind went within a What about 200? What about 300? What about 400? What about 500? It just kept going. But one of the things that I've learned is that I could just enjoy the present moment now. And then also, the more vulnerable I was, the more I focused on adding value, and the more I would share things that I was almost afraid to share, the better things did. So the point of this, of what I want to share, is get into the uncomfortable. And that for me was sharing things that were from my personal life. Some of you hear me tell my story all the time, and it probably sounds like a broken record, and I get that. But that's because I understand that— I understand that the way that we work is we, we, we resonate with things based on emotion. And if someone sees that I've been through something, they know they can go through it too and come out on the other end more positive. And it's just— it's about understanding the energy dynamic of you, and are you doing what you are passionate about? This must be connected to your heart. And the thing of this though is remember why you are doing it. Remember, like, this is your mission. This is what you came for. And for me, I had to keep putting my attention back on the mission. Anytime I would let it be something that was significant-driven, that would hold me back or that would cause me to feel— there'd be like little shadow aspects of that coming up. Anytime I believe that things had to be hard, you know, then Things were hard. It's all self-fulfilling prophecy. But one of the best pieces of advice I can give you is look at your current thoughts, feelings, and emotions. How are you thinking, feeling, and acting? What is your reality like? My reality before is working a 9-to-5 job I didn't like, going into work every day complaining about how I didn't— how it was slow selling women's shoes. That was my reality. And my thoughts, my emotions, and my actions were equal to it. But then what I did is I made a new choice that then put me into this new reality, and I saw myself as this new version of me, which was making a video every single day on YouTube, adding as much value as I could. Even though underneath that was the significance, there was that initial intention, just that I could see that something drove me a little bit more than I, than I think it should have. But nonetheless, that's the part of this that's important. Wire in a new way of being, make a new choice about who you are. This is who you are now. And remember, when you start it, You are it. So it's not like you, you want to become an artist, so you're like, okay, when I paint 1,000 paintings, then I'll be an artist. No, the moment you start is the moment you are it. Take on the identity. We get a reflection in life, that which we believe we are. So our identity is being reflected back to us. When I started making YouTube videos, I wasn't like, once I get the gold play button or the silver play button, then I'm a YouTuber. I said, I make videos every single day because I am a YouTuber. This is how this version of me acts. I wasn't waiting for the mere reality to change. So every single one of you can commit to that vision. Make sure it's connected to your heart. And the best piece of advice I could give you is if it's significance-driven, if it's to become somebody, realize that you're already worthy, you're already enough. There's nothing you need to do to become more worthy. And then as you come at it from that frame and as you feel feel that worthiness, guess what? People are gonna feel that contagious energy off of you. They're gonna be magnetized to you. You're so contagious. And if you didn't know, there's a meditation on feeling 100% worthy, whole, and complete. And there's a lot of comments and it shows you what's possible with it. It's very powerful. Listen up for 21 days and watch how it transforms you accomplishing your goals. I'll go and link that below. And other than that, I want to say thank you everybody for, you know, the cheesy part of it, but thank you. We did it. This is about us, the global shift in consciousness happening right now on the planet. And I want you to know that I'm happy to be here with you and that I love you. So with that being said, peace, much love, and namaste.