In this video Aaron Doughty explains why breakups feel so painful and offers a framework for making them easier. He argues that the core difficulty lies in the loss of the meaning we assign to a person or habit, which creates an attachment that resists letting go. He shares personal stories—quitting cannabis, a recent two‑year relationship, and patterns that echo his childhood dynamics with his mother—to illustrate how we often seek to "fix" others to feel worthy. Doughty describes how shame becomes an identity‑based emotion that blocks freedom, and how embodying the realization that meaning is self‑generated can dissolve that shame. By releasing old meanings, we can attract deeper, more authentic connections that match our own vibration. The video concludes with a promotion for a 21‑day "Magnetic Love Challenge" (July 1‑21) that includes live coaching on shadow work, masculine/feminine polarity, and attachment styles, aimed at helping participants let go of codependent patterns and raise their love vibration.
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The only reason breakups are hard is because letting go is hard. And if people learn how to let go easier, understood the true mechanics of attachment, breakups would be so much easier. And in this video, I'm going to show you the scary truth of reality that will make breaking up and letting go easier than ever before. This is the video that I think you'll finally really be able to let go and come at peace with whatever's happened in your life so that you can really either allow something new in or understand the vibration of the breakup in general. So in this video, I'm going to share with you exactly what that is. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now in this video, I'm going to be sharing with you the true vibration of a breakup. In relationship. And this could be a breakup with a person. This, like, I mean, I guess it could be a breakup with like an imaginary friend. It could be a break. It's loss in general. Attachment, letting go of attachment is a form of a breakup. I've had times before when I've been around friends that were more toxic, and in a way I had to break up with them. And that breakup felt not so comfortable, even though maybe I knew it was for the best. I remember one time I broke up with cannabis. I was smoking cannabis all day, every day back in 2012. And I had this knowing that I was gonna stop doing it. And I made a decision to quit. And I didn't listen to that actually. And I ended up going to a smoke shop, getting this like glass piece. I smoked out of it and I took in this hit. And as I was breathing it out, I just started bawling my eyes out. I started crying. And I felt a release of all of the energy inside of me that was so attached to that cannabis. It was a very spiritual, emotional experience. And for about 2 weeks after that, I felt pretty empty. I felt empty. Like, I felt like there was something missing in my life. And it's funny because that was an actual plant. It wasn't necessarily a person, but it was just as powerful as that. So this doesn't have to be just that of a person, although it'd probably be the most common thing that people are here for is a breakup with somebody else. But this is something that I've been through over the last 2 years. 2 years ago I broke up and we broke up. I broke up with somebody and there was a period of time when there was a lot of emotions that I was running through and I was going through and what made it easier was actually one article that I read and it was an article that was on the letting go and meaning. That's what it was. It was on letting go and meaning and it said this one thing that really changed it all for me and made it much easier for me to understand this. And it was also when I was learning about attachment as well and how, you know, being attached to something was, um, and, and, and how that causes resistance. But what it said is that when it comes to breakup, breakups, and the vibration of breakups, what makes them hard and challenging is that what we feel like we've lost is we've lost a sense of meaning. Think about that. The person that we were with meant something to us. There was a meaning that we gave to them. There was a reflection that we gave to them. And that meaning is something that was on autopilot. That meaning was something that we set when we got in a relationship with them. And if we find it hard to let go of the person, it's because we don't wanna let go of the meaning. Sometimes this means that we don't wanna let go of the potential of who they could have been. We don't want to let go of the story we tell ourselves about that person. For me, the belief that I had was the last person in a relationship that I was with, like 2 years ago, this person I had very deep connection with. And I told myself this, this thing that I won't find somebody else this deep. I won't. This is the deepest connection I've had of yet. So if I were to let this go, I'm letting go of that part of myself. And I told myself that and it kept me attached because there's a payoff to being attached. The payoff is that it feels safe. A payoff is like an emotional kickback that we get from what we do. And a lot of times it's a negative thing, but we're not aware of it. So we continue to do it. So once I became aware that of the story I was telling myself that this is the deepest thing I'll ever have and that if I let that go, I'm letting go of a part of myself, I did it. Then made it a lot easier to let go because I could see that I was generating the meaning. That's one of the secrets of this reality, by the way. Everything has no built-in meaning other than the meaning we give it. And when we set meaning on something in the past or in relationship, what makes it challenging to let go is the payoff we get or the sense of certainty we get from that. Now here's the thing. Many of us from our relationships are replaying similar childhood dynamics over and over again, and we don't even know it. Here's what another thing that made the breakup much easier for me. I realized that that dynamic was very similar to a childhood dynamic of with me and my mom, because when I was younger, it was like my mom was going through a lot of things and I felt like there was this emotional unavailability that was there. She had the same thing when she was a kid, by the way. It's funny how these things tend to work in patterns. But basically what I found out that I did is I'd attract people that were emotionally unavailable. And what would happen is from attracting that, then I would constantly feel like I had to prove myself. And the game changer for me was realizing that this is the exact energy dynamic from my childhood. I'm trying to prove myself to somebody or I'm trying to fix them so that then they can love me. These patterns that we have in relationship, we actually get addicted to them. I was addicted to the feeling of if I can help this person, if I can fix them, then they'll love me. And it's like I'm trying to do that to my childhood as well. And the thing, an important thing to remember with this process is that when it comes down to this, when it comes down to breakups in general, If you and somebody else broke up, if they broke up with you or you broke up with them, realize the breakup and the loss of that meaning that you are letting go of, all because it didn't work out, doesn't mean you're not worthy. It does not mean you need to feel shame. The vibration of many breakups is that people are afraid of breaking up because they're afraid that it means there's some level of shame or there's something wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you. I realized that what I felt is I felt shame when I was a kid. I felt like I was broken. There was something wrong with me, and if I could just prove myself to the feminine, then finally I'd be enough. And what I had to do is I had to go through a process of embodiment, of getting in my own body and separating my stuff from my mom's stuff, my stuff from my ex's stuff. And as I did that, I realized this does not have anything to do with me. The mom stuff had nothing to do with me. The emotional unavailability had nothing to do with me. The divorce when I was 5 years old had nothing to do with me. It wasn't because I wasn't worthy or enough. It just was, it just was. But shame is an identity-based emotion. And when you start to realize that you are worthy, that you can let go of the shame, you can let go of the identity, you then start to become free. As I started to do that, I started to see new opportunities in my life. I started to attract deep relationships, people that I could see myself going deep with, and then I have attracted love that feels so good, and I can see now that I had to let go in order to allow in. And the same thing is true for you, but it's realizing that shame, that emotion, it does not have to do with you and your identity. Some people are afraid. I was talking to somebody else that went through a breakup recently, and she's like, "Well, what do I do if he finds somebody else?" Well, she broke up with him and it's a mutual breakup. If he finds somebody else, it doesn't make you any less worthy. Doesn't mean that you weren't good enough, but this other person is. Doesn't mean that at all. Maybe that person found somebody else that's going to keep replaying the same patterns over and over again, maybe. And if they play that same patterns over and over, that's a better match for them now. Maybe you're not willing to play the games any longer. But for me, I had to realize a lot of the childhood, It's what relationships reflect back to me. But I realized that what makes breakups hard is letting go of meaning. And when you realize that you can have deep meaning with somebody else, you always find somebody, by the way, that's a reflection of the depth of who you are. I found somebody that I had a deep connection with because I was going deeper within myself. I was more on my purpose, so I found somebody that was on their purpose. I was more in my authentic vibration. They were more in their authentic vibration. But as I've gone even deeper, it's like there's new reflections of that depth. And then you can go deep with somebody at that level. So you see, this is all about understanding the vibration of breakups is about understanding the vibration of letting go of meaning. And you can recreate that same meaning with somebody else and even deeper. That's all that is. And the reason it is hard to let go of meaning is because you're afraid if you let go of that meaning, you're not gonna be able to bring in the new meaning with somebody else. But the universe works in very mysterious ways. But I will tell you, it's very challenging to bring something new in until you let go of the old. And letting go of this is key. Letting go of those meanings, letting go of that attachment, maybe even the addiction to trying to fix somebody else because it reminds you of the childhood. Now, something that we are gonna be doing from July 1st to July 21st is I'm gonna be going live 21 days in a row. We're gonna be going through a process for letting go of our old beliefs about love, letting go of codependent patterns on love, letting go of the attachment styles, anxious or avoidant attachment, how to become more secure. We're gonna be letting go of the blocks we have to love to wire in a new vibrational us that is at the level of love and has magnetic energy to attract love easier than ever. And this is a process we're gonna go through with accountability. There's a High Vibe Tribe group. When you join, you become a High Vibe member of the tribe. And right meow is the best time to join. You get 2 bonuses when you join, and enrollment is open. So click the link below, join this challenge. We are gonna be going through this process. I can't wait. It's gonna be so powerful. And there's 2 bonuses. One is with my shadow work integration coach who I've never really shared on my channel before. His name's Doug. He's amazing. He's gonna be doing a live call on masculine and feminine polarity and energy, how to take down your masculine shield, your feminine shield, and how to align and integrate within yourself. That'll be a live call. And then there's also a call with my friend and dating coach, Matt. His name's Matt, and he is gonna be talking about attachment styles and things, you know, how to become more secure in your attachment style and answering questions. And right now you can join at the lowest price you'll ever see it as well. And if you're in on this, comment below and say, "I'm in." If you wanna become a high-viber, this is the time to do it. We're all on this journey of raising our vibration and tapping into to the vibration of love or above on the inside out. As you begin to go through this process, it will change the way people respond to you. It will change how you feel about yourself, and it is so powerful. So I can't wait. So anyways, click the link below or go to aarondoughty.com/love, aarondoughty.com/love. Join the 21-day Magnetic Love Challenge right meow, and I'll see you guys on the inside. As always, I'll talk to you guys in the next video. Peace, much love, and namaste.
