Aaron Doughty explains why people pull away when you chase validation in dating. Instead, focus on enjoying the process, stay curious, and validate yourself. When you stop needing approval, you become magnetic.
The most magnetic things you can bring to the table on your next date is learning how to have fun with the process. Very often people are focused on what will I get out of this? Will this person like me? Asking the question of like, will this person text me back? Those are all questions that put the focus on the end result. Instead, if you focus on how can I enjoy this process? How can I have fun with this process? How can I express the real me? I'm curious, do we have things in common? Do we have shared values? These are all things that more so tune to the present moment versus the outcome of what you get out of it. And people can feel when you want something from them. People can feel when you want approval and validation from them. And what happens is 'cause people can feel that you want it or that you're seeking it, subconsciously, they naturally reject or repel from giving it to you. Because you're using them as a means to an end instead of being present in the moment with them. They've become a pawn in your life subconsciously. They're literally a way in which you can make and get your needs met. And what happens is when you realize you're doing that, you start to take your power back and you realize that instead what you can focus on is you could focus on liking yourself validating yourself, living according to the values of vulnerability and authenticity instead of validation or approval.
