This Video Will Give You Permission To BE YOURSELF & Attract Your DREAM LIFE

Self-sabotage and imposter syndrome is what holds most people back from actually being who they came here to be. And this is something that keeps people stuck because they only allow themselves to feel a certain amount of love. They only allow themselves to let life get just so good. And then what happens is there's this governor that comes on which is what we call imposter syndrome, or what is self-sabotage, that is doing what it can to keep people, to keep us in familiar energy dynamics. Now, in this video, what I'm gonna be sharing with you is exactly how to overcome that of imposter syndrome, how to transcend self-sabotage, how to stop feeling stuck so that you can finally give yourself permission to be who you actually came here to be. So the first question I wanna ask you is what parts of self-sabotage or what ways do you hold yourself back from being who you came here to be? Go ahead and comment down below. How do you hold yourself back? Now, for me, for a long time, I remember that one thing I didn't do is I didn't give myself permission. I was back in 2017, I knew I wanted to be on YouTube, but I would tell myself the story, I'm not credible enough, I'm not good enough. And in a way, what I was doing is I was waiting for someone else to give me permission. I wasn't giving myself permission to make videos, to put myself out there because I thought who would listen? And remember, people feel what you feel. So if you're putting out the energy of no one listens to me or like, no, there's what I say doesn't have value, then people will feel that. And also before you actually have that of experience doing something, you normally don't feel comfortable doing it. So if people feel what you feel and you don't feel comfortable doing something because you just simply haven't put the reps in, then what happens is people continue to feel that. The only thing that happened on YouTube for myself is I gave myself permission to make videos. I gave myself permission to shift into an identity where I am that of this YouTuber. I took on that identity because I knew it was more authentic than me working the 9-to-5 sales job. Now, one of the main reasons I believe a lot of times we don't give ourselves permission to be who we came here to be is because we're waiting, we don't have a strong inner sense of authority. All right, so what happens is back in the day, mommy and daddy would tell us what we were and weren't allowed to do and we're afraid to step outside of the box. So what we do is we stay in our little box, We stay in our little comfort zone and we say, don't worry, mommy and daddy, I won't step outside of the line. I will wait for you to tell me and to give me permission for what I can do. However, what happens sometimes is what do our parents want for us? They want what they think is best. I know my dad wishes I went to law school, became a lawyer at some level. He doesn't now, but I know back in the day he's like, "Get your degree, go to law school." I know deep down it's probably what he wanted. The thing to understand is that if you're waiting for someone to give you permission, you're waiting for the outer reality to conform to you or to tell you that it's okay. The thing is, is social conditioning and reality normally wants you to play small. It wants you to stay in your little box because when you stay in your box, it disturbs them less. Society, just in general, social conditioning wants people that go to 9-to-5 jobs, even if they hate 'em, because it keeps this machine going. So the longer you wait for someone else to give you permission, the longer you're gonna be playing small, the longer you're gonna be feeling stuck. And what self-sabotage is and imposter syndrome is, is it's an ego mechanism that we have that keeps us the same. It keeps us in familiar territories. It keeps us back in childhood looking to the external for authority. When really the true power is you giving yourself permission to be your own inner authority. That's what permission means. If you look up the word permission online, it has something to do with authority. Give something authority. You must be your own internal authority to shift out of that of self-sabotage and imposter syndrome. The other thing is, is sometimes we don't allow ourselves to feel positive emotion. We don't allow ourselves to reap the benefits of what we put out into the world. We might tell ourselves, "Oh, life can't get this good." There's a part of us that's addicted to the past, to the familiar, to the familiar childhood dynamics when we were kids. I had to get used to when I started on YouTube, allowing myself, when I quit my 9-to-5 job working at Barney's New York, I had to allow myself to enjoy my day because I would just like, well, I worked 8 hours a day at this 9 to 5 job, I must now work 8 hours a day on YouTube videos. So what did I do? I got ahead 30 videos, no, 90 videos. I made 3 videos a day for 30 days straight. I was ahead like 2, 3 months on YouTube content because I'm like, I have to work this same amount of time. I wasn't allowing myself to enjoy life. And even now sometimes self-sabotage, imposter syndrome finds so much safety for myself when I work really hard and I don't allow myself to chill. So when I go on vacation, sometimes I'm like the hamster wheel. I gotta make videos, I gotta work, I gotta work, I gotta work, I gotta work. And sometimes I do enjoy working, but other times it's like, why am I not allowing myself to just enjoy my life? Why am I not allowing myself the space to chill out and to relax? But what imposter syndrome is, is the old identity that in a past, in the moment in the past, we decided this is who I am. I am this old identity. And for a lot of times, this old identity for me was back in 2017, I'm a 9-to-5 job goer. I have an external authority telling me what my days off I can take are. I have an external authority that has like, you know, that I have to suck up to in order to get the schedule I want. I have an inner authority that's telling me, I can do this and I can't do that. And that felt safe and comfortable for a long time until I started to become the basis of my own inner authority. I started to choose for myself what is authentic for me, what is my own inner authority, my own inner intuition want me to do. And for me, that was making daily videos on YouTube, which allowed me to become a new empowered version of me. You have to be able to give yourself permission and stop looking to mom and dad, stop looking to reality to give yourself permission. Back in 2017 as well, one thing that held me back is for 2 years, I was waiting for that of, I was waiting for somebody to give me permission so that I could go on YouTube. You wanna know what my, visualization was, I was visualizing for 2 years, I was doing the whole Abraham Hicks thing. I was sitting on my couch, I was sitting on my bed in my dad's, in the room living at my dad's house, and I was like, I'm gonna be a full-time YouTuber, I'm gonna be a full-time YouTuber. And I had this vision, I'm gonna meet Tony Robbins or some like famous speaker, he's gonna see all this potential in me and he's gonna give me permission. He's gonna tell me, Aaron, you're good enough, go for it. And I waited, I waited and I waited and I went to work and I was waiting to meet Tony Robbins. I ended up helping Sage Robbins, his wife, but not him. He wasn't there to say, Aaron, you're good enough, make content. I ended up then helping Jack Canfield who's like wrote the Chicken Noodle Soup Soul books, which was kind of funny because when I realized who he was, he paid with like this Black American Express card and I was like, oh my God, Jack Canfield. He looked kind of different from the movie "The Secret." But I remember telling him like, "I'm gonna do what you do one day." It was so cheesy. I was like, "I'm gonna do what you would do one day." And he was like, "Nice." He's like, "Well, I teach people how to be trainers, how to do what I do, how to speak in Scottsdale for $20,000. And here I am working at Barneys New York." And I'm like, "I don't have $20,000 to learn how to speak." So then I was like, "Oh," and I still have his card somewhere. It says Jack Canfield. It says his Paradigm Studios or something. But I remember helping him, like I manifested helping him. Okay, Jack Canfield, tell me I'm good enough. Tell me I can make videos on YouTube. And guess what? He didn't say, Aaron, you're worthy of making videos on YouTube. Nobody told me, Aaron, you're good enough, go do it. I had to stop looking to external authority and I had to start becoming my own internal authority. And everything changed, by the way, when I began to do that, when I began to live by that mentality, everything changed. I started to become my own boss in a way. I started to like, I motivated myself to make videos. I motivated myself and had a vision. And then I had to guard that vision. I had to say no to hanging out and doing things that were outside of that, that were outside that would put me off of that path. There were friends or people that wanted to hang out and I was focused and I had to be focused more on my vision and it would get in the way of me making videos or the video a day that I committed to, then I would have to say no. I had to guard that vision. Now, when we talk about permission, realize the more you give yourself permission to be who you are, the more you begin to trust yourself. Trust and confidence are pretty much the same thing. The more you know who you are, And the more you live according to your own credo, your own sets of values, the more that then reality begins to reflect back and mold to that inner authority. Does that make sense? But the key to this is to give yourself permission to be who you are, not who everyone else wants you to be, not the validation approval that other people can give you. When you own who you are, you develop a certain level of power within yourself. Own it. Don't hide it. Shame is trying to hide aspects of the self. Be who you came here to be because at the end of the day, what do they tell people that like wanna attract love? They say the most simplest thing that annoys them, right? Just be yourself. You say, well, who the hell am I? Am I this like person that just is really weird and awkward? The key is being the true authentic core self. The one where you give yourself permission to be who you came here to be. The socially awkward, weird self is not really who you are. It was a certain story that you picked up where you thought this is who I am. Then you stayed in autopilot with that. The key is giving yourself permission to shift and give yourself permission to be and to realize you are good enough. Now, let me wire this again. Social conditioning wants you to play small. Social conditioning, society, buy the things and stay in your little box. Don't become empowered. If you're in fear and your anger, you're much easier to control. Just stay within your little parameters. And people a lot of times feel safe in that mentality. One thing that I had to break out of, if you know my story, is from 7 to 15, the whole ex-stepmom thing. I had an ex-stepmom in my life from 7 to 15. My dad divorced when I was 15 years old. My brother and I, had no freedom, we had to earn going to school activities, we had to sneak food to get enough food to eat. It was a lot of control, a lot of like control and stuff like that. When my dad divorced her, I remember, even though before my dad divorced her, my brother and I would have to like hide, we'd have to like sneak into the house 'cause a lot of times we were locked out of the house doing yard work. We'd sneak into the house to watch TV. One of us would be on the lookout, the other one would have the TV remote with the finger on previous channel. And we'd be on the lookout, right? Even though that's what we had to do to just watch TV from like, you know, for the last couple years we were there, what ended up happening is I remember that I felt safe in that. I remember that there was this moment when my dad, we drove back to that house to get like clothes and I remember it was a weird situation, but my ex-stepmom and her mom were like throwing clothes on the, and it was like this dramatic scene, throwing clothes in the dirt and stuff. And I remember in the moment, even though like now there was all this, all this freedom, there was something that felt kind of scary about all this freedom, 'cause the control of the past felt safe. Even though it was painful and there was abuse and stuff, it was like I knew what my box was and the box felt safe. They call that Stockholm syndrome. They call that Stockholm syndrome. So one of the things you wanna become aware of is what is your safety zone. What is your safety zone and what familiarity are you fighting for? What familiarity are you fighting for? Because I had to realize that that was me going into the unknown that I was afraid to do. I was more safe with the knowing that, oh, I'm allowed to step within this box and I'm not allowed to do this or I'm allowed to do that. So the key is to realize that social conditioning wants you to play small. And what you wanna do is realize the more you get into the unknown, the more you give yourself permission to get into the unknown, the more magic happens. The more you fight for the familiar, the more you'll feel stuck. The more you do what you've always done, think what you've always thought and felt what you've always felt, the more you will stay within that reality. You must make the choice to be a new version of you. Now, the next part of this and the next thing that you wanna allow yourself to do is to give yourself permission to feel. How many of you sometimes don't give yourself permission to feel what comes up? You wanna give yourself permission to feel. I know that when we do breathwork, for example, One of the questions we ask before we go into a breathwork ceremony is I want everyone to raise their hand and give yourself permission to feel. Just say, "I give myself permission to feel." When you give yourself permission to feel, you then give yourself permission to release. And a lot of times we, as kids growing up, maybe felt our emotions don't matter. I shouldn't feel the way that I do. And we hold ourselves back from really feeling The emotions. And when we trap different emotions inside of our body, what ends up happening is we attract it, we suppress it. And when we suppress emotions, we'll attract weird situations in our lives because underneath the surface, there's all this bubbled up energy and people will feel it. So one thing that you wanna do is you wanna really give yourself permission to feel. Give yourself permission to feel. And to understand that when you do, you allow the energy to leave your body so that you don't keep attracting situations in your life that reflect that energy. I know some of the biggest breakthroughs I've had have been in breathwork, when I allow myself permission to feel energies that I haven't allowed myself to feel. And as I give myself permission to feel it, it has like opened up a new level of emotional depth. I know I've shared this story before, but even for example, When I did breathwork and I learned breathwork a couple months ago, I broke through to a new level of emotional availability, a new level of emotional heart opening. And when that happens, it brought stuff up in my life for me to look at to then let go of old patterns. Part of that meant ending a relationship that I was in because there was energy that then came to the surface where I was like, wait, this is not something that, like, it brought things to the surface that allowed me to like let go of the old patterns because I up-leveled. Does that make sense? The more you give yourself permission to feel, the more that you then are opening up your heart and the more that then reality will shift to that change because you always attract people, circumstances, and situations in your life that are equal to the degree your heart is open, to the degree to which you allow yourself to feel. So what you wanna do is give yourself permission to feel so that you don't hold onto stuck energy. Because remember, all the outer reality is, is a reflection of the inner reality. And if there's suppressed emotions that you haven't allowed yourself to feel, you will continue to attract people in your life that reflect that back to you. For example, after the whole ex-stepmom thing when I was 15 years old, there was a story that I had that women tried to control me. Why? Because my ex-stepmom for a good part of my life represented that energy. And what I did is I would attract myself to either ex-girlfriends or the manager at Nordstrom's at the time who was controlling, manipulative. And because there was that energy and that almost like that felt safe and familiar, I attracted that. There was always someone in my life that represented that energy until I forgave my ex-stepmom. That's what I had to do to give myself permission to really feel. Part of what I had to do is I had to forgive. And when I forgave, that's when That pattern left my life. That's when in a weird way, that manager that we tried getting fired for years got fired like that. Once I forgave my ex-stepmom. Because if you hold onto resentment, you will attract people into your life to reflect that inner resentment back to you. That's inside of you. When you wish bad upon other people, you hold onto that energy. It's in your field and you are gonna attract more people that reflect that energy back. So forgiveness, think about it. Everything in life has no built-in meaning other than the meaning you give it. At a certain point in the past, someone did something to you and there was a story that was then given a meaning that says, life isn't fair, this person treated me this way, they shouldn't have done this. And then that meaning stays on autopilot and it stays within the field. Forgiveness is letting go of that old meaning and it's forgive. Think about that, forgiveness, forgive, for, before, before you gave it that meaning. So what you wanna do is forgiveness isn't something you're doing just for the other person, it's something you do for yourself. And when you let go of that energy within yourself, you will find you become more free, you feel lighter, and when you feel lighter, you will attract an outer reality that is in alignment with that lightness. When you hold onto the resentment, it stays inside your field. Something I've been studying lately as well is I've been relooking at some teachings that I used to look at, but it has to do with something called decreased importance. It's something called excess potential. Some of my OG people that have been following me for years will know probably what I'm talking about here. But basically what happens is everything in reality has no meaning other than the meaning we give it. Anytime we make something very important, we make it important that someone acknowledges us, we make it important that something specific happens. We make someone else important. We make even our own self-importance. What we do is we energetically put ourselves on a pedestal or put other people on a pedestal. And in reality, there's these balancing forces that come into place to balance that out. This is why the more you want, the more you lack. This is why the more you want people to like you, the less they actually will, 'cause they'll feel that energy. It's called excess potential. You create excess potential by giving external things in your reality excess meaning, and then you block it, you create resistance. This is why, like, say somebody goes on a date with somebody else and they really, really like them, and then they start acting weird and they really like them and the other person feels their weird energy and isn't attracted. Why? Because they're putting out, they're making this person and putting them on a pedestal. And remember, if you treat someone like a celebrity, they're gonna treat you like a fan. But if you treat this person just like a regular person, then guess what? The energy dynamic's gonna be much more flowy back and forth. Does that make sense? It comes to excess potential and decreasing the level of importance you give to the external things in your life. Even the internal things in your life. That's what's called narcissism. When you're like, oh, I'm so awesome, or I'm so this, it's excess potential. Think of it like this too. You buy a new car and you're like, I just love this car so much. It's the most amazing car ever. Scratches, I hope nobody scratches it. Ooh, I'm super, I'm super like strict about where I drive the car. Oh, I hope I don't want to roll over that fricking rock. Oh my God, this, that. And you're so anal about it. Guess what? Balancing forces, resistance is created and something will happen to reflect that. So when we talk about this, the key is doesn't mean you don't take care of your car at all. The key is not overly emphasizing, giving it too much importance. You see? And not making what other people think about you more important than what you think about you. That's another important part of it. But also don't make what you think about you some ego thing, right? There's like a divine spirit that I believe flows through all of us. So that is the key to understanding this whole entire thing is giving yourself permission. So when you talk about this as well, realize in ends versus means, this is a huge thing when it comes to giving yourself permission. A lot of people are doing things 'cause it's a means to an end. They, like for example, I would've made videos on YouTube in 2017 to get out of my 9 to 5 job, means to an end. Really, I was making videos because it felt more authentic to myself and it's who I prefer to be. A side effect was I was able to quit my 9 to 5 job. But a lot of times when people have that focus, they create resistance and importance around it, like I was just talking about, and they resist it. I was talking to the, I got tattoos recently in LA, And when I went there, I was talking to the tattoo artist who's an amazing tattoo artist. He's like a master at what he does. And it was so cool seeing him get into his meditative process. He was getting into his flow state and doing his thing, has music in the background. It was really cool. One thing he told me though is like when tattoo artists, people that wanna be tattoo artists, when they do it because of just the money or they do it because of the girls or guys they're gonna meet or something like that, and when that's the reason they're doing it, it never really lasts. And it's not coming from an authentic place. The perspective of him was so cool. He's like, I believe that tattoos transform people. They transform people's identity. It's a way for people to integrate their years. It was this very interesting perspective, a higher level perspective of what tattoos are. His name is Constantine. You'll see on my recent post that I did, I tagged him. He's in LA. He's like booked up like a year, so he doesn't need the plug or anything, but he's an amazing tattoo artist. So the reason I'm saying this though is when you make things an end of itself, then you focus on who you become, that's when real transformation happens. When you focus on doing something to escape the present moment, that's when you create resistance. So the thing I encourage you to do today is to give yourself permission to be your own inner authority, to give yourself the authority to start something new? What is one way you can start something new and give yourself permission to be a specific way? Maybe it's to, like for me, it was making videos. Maybe it's for you to be creating art more. Maybe it's you are a writer. Maybe it's that you wanna give yourself permission to go apply for a better job. Maybe it's you're gonna give yourself permission to ask for a raise. Maybe it's you're gonna give yourself permission to ask that person out. Maybe you're gonna give yourself permission to end a friendship or a relationship that's toxic. What and how can you give yourself permission today to be your own inner authority? You don't have to wait for mommy and daddy to give you permission. For me, it was Tony Robbins and someone else telling me I'm good enough. You give yourself the inner authority. Comment below and let me know what that is for you. And if there's anything that you take today, it's understand that you are your inner authority and you can give yourself permission. And that when you do, that's when your life begins to change. And that every moment's a new moment. Every moment you're a new version of you. Every moment is a new version of you. We just continue to recreate ourselves depending on the past. To be the same version of ourselves over and over again because of the past story, but every moment's a new you. Every moment you're a new you. Every moment you're a new you. At one moment I decided I am a YouTuber and then I was consistently being it. I took action as that version of me. And guess what? That became my reality 'cause I committed to it. I didn't fall back into the old frame. I didn't stop giving myself permission. And when you give yourself permission to do something, you do it with repetition, you get better and better at it, and guess what happens? You become more natural at it. It becomes easier. So these are the things that I did to transform my life. I see some of you saying, take it a step, next step to grow my business, overcoming fear to be who I wanna be, ask someone out on a date, to pursue my calling. Nice. Letting go of a past relationship. All of these things, you can give yourself permission to be. And when you give yourself permission to be the ideal you, you came here to be, that's when your life begins to change. 'Cause all reality is is a reflection of your inner reality, all right? And one of the things that changes your life more than anything is shifting your vibration. If you haven't checked it out yet, I have a free quiz that I recently redid. Some of you've probably been through it before. It's www.whatsmyvibration.com. Calibrate your vibration and then you get a meditation that helps you get to the next level so that you can elevate, let go of the things that no longer serve you so that you can elevate your frequency. Go to www.whatsmyvibration.com to check it out. And if you wanna learn how to shift out of your old identity in 12 minutes or less, this video right here will help you do that. If there's one concept that has changed my life more than anything else on the whole personal development journey over the course of thousands of hours of videos I watch, over the course of thousands of books I've read since 2007, 2000 and like 10, 12-ish when I got into personal development. It's this one concept that I share with you in this video.