Unleash ATTRACTIVE AF Energy by Maintaining Your FRAME
In this monologue Aaron Doughty explains that each moment creates a new version of ourselves, challenging the static self‑story many people live by. He argues that our identity is a story we inherit from family and environment, and that recognizing the moment‑to‑moment renewal of our cells allows us to consciously rewrite that story. By "being in your frame"—tuning into the body, using the "frame technique," and aligning with one's authentic vibration—people can shift from people‑pleaser, passive roles to a more vulnerable, authentic presence. Doughty shares personal anecdotes about growing up as the oldest sibling, shedding a people‑pleaser persona inherited from his father, navigating a recent breakup with conscious choice, and discovering a passion for live events over algorithm‑driven YouTube content. He describes how embodying this new energy influences his team, content strategy, and personal relationships, and he promotes a vibration quiz (whatsmyvibration.com) and meditation as practical tools for maintaining the frame. The overall message is that starting any action makes you the embodiment of that action, and by continuously choosing who you want to be, you attract corresponding external reality.
Chapters
The moment you start it, you are it. This is the kind of energy that will completely shift your life if you apply it in your life. And all you have to do is understand that every moment you are a new version of you. There really is no static version of you. We may tell ourselves the story I am this kind of person. I am a person that, you know, normally is not in a relationship. I am somebody that works a 9 to 5 job that I hate. I'm somebody that is hard to set boundaries. And these stories, which is really what it is, it's a story that is on autopilot. The interesting thing is that many of those stories aren't even our own stories. We picked those stories up from our environment growing up. We picked those stories up from our parents or from our friends, or they said something to us and we internalized it, and then it became our story. And the thing that keeps us stuck is that we still believe that that's our story, that that's who we are. But every moment is a new moment, and every moment, the cells in our body are dying and being reborn. Every such, every period of time, there's some period of time, I forget how long it is, might be like 7 years, like literally every single cell in your body has been replaced. Not one part of you, not one little aspect of you that was you 7 years ago is in your body right now. And every moment you are a new you. And one of the most powerful realizations that you can have to really shift your life is knowing that every moment you are a new you and every moment you are recreating yourself based on the story of who you believe you are. Now, what happens is some people go through life and at a certain point, their story shifts. And sometimes it shifts because of they choose it and sometimes it shifts because of something that happens to them. And the moment you shift your story is the moment that then your outer reality begins to change as you begin to be it. There's something interesting that happens in, I don't know what you call it, like a pack, herd of monkeys. But what'll happen is if the alpha, there's always an alpha in these like monkey tribes, right? Imagine a monkey tribe and imagine that there's all these like, monkeys and there's an alpha monkey. The alpha monkey gets to like control different things and is like helping keep the tribe safe. Also gets to, you know, it also has more alpha tendencies. Probably gets to be with the other, you know, the females. Probably has certain privileges, but nonetheless, the alpha knows its place. And then there's a lot of little beta, monkeys around. Now what'll happen is if the alpha monkey dies or something happens, or when that happens, one of the other monkeys will step ahead and become the alpha. When it becomes the alpha, within days, it's releasing more hormones that make it the alpha. It completely shifts its energy and it starts acting. It starts literally being that version of itself. Because the situation changes, it makes a new choice. And it does it maybe for the tribe or whatever it is, but that changes its energy. And then everyone else kind of responds to that energy change. Now, the same way in our life, people in our life are responding to us depending on the role that we are playing, depending on the stories that we've bought into. and they're just simply reflecting that back. So if we have a story that says, "I am horrible at setting boundaries, I feel guilty setting boundaries," then guess what'll happen? People will respond to you and they'll feel that energy on you, and they will maybe shame you when you do set boundaries. They'll think, "What the hell's going wrong with this person when they do set boundaries?" But they're literally just pinging off of the energy that's being embodied. So the key to this is understanding that the role you've been playing may have just been on autopilot. It may have just been a role that you've agreed to, a role that like at one point made sense, but since then has been on autopilot. And when you realize that every moment's a new moment and every moment that role is being reemphasized, You can then ask yourself the question, is this the role that I prefer to play? Is this the story that I prefer to believe? Because at one point, there are many different areas of my life that I've shifted. And even more recently, I'm gonna try to pull a little bit deeper here because a lot of times I share the same damn stories in a lot of my videos. One thing I'm getting better at is being in my own frame. It's been a journey of this last like 2 or 3 years for me, to be honest with you, because about a year and a half, 2 years ago, I began really shedding the people pleaser, nice guy persona that I believe that it was a story of my dad's. My dad's a nice guy, people pleaser. He attracted my ex-stepmom who's a narcissist. So it's kind of like, you know, that dynamic of like, passivity. And that was the masculine energy that I saw growing up. So it was like something that was like, that's how I thought it was. But then eventually I realized the pain that came from that. And I realized how a lot of that energy is inauthentic. How like being nice to people to get them to like approve of you or to ease tension is not authentic. And it was a way of hiding vulnerability because vulnerability, is a way of hiding shame, the belief I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. And vulnerability is the cure to that shame. Vulnerability is expressing the real me, setting boundaries even when it's uncomfortable, telling someone that I'm attracted to them when I'm dating them or I'm like talking to someone and not just by being nice or like holding that information back. So 2 years ago, I became aware of this energy and I started to shift it. And a lot of it was me just becoming aware of the old patterns and realizing it wasn't really even mine to begin with. As I became aware of that, I started tuning to my own body. I started tuning to my own frame. And as I started doing that, I started realizing that life started to reflect back something new because it was easier for me to set boundaries. And the moment that I would normally hold information back or hold, you know, something back I was feeling, I would instead express it. I'd be like, you know, when you said this, it made me feel this way. I'd have uncomfortable conversations knowing that there was a benefit to it because it was real, it was authentic. The values that I chose to live by back 2 years ago were before validation and approval. And instead, the values I chose to live by, which are like virtues, values are kind of like virtues that you make a part of your, it's part of your identity. I chose for it to be vulnerability and authenticity. And as I was being more vulnerable and authentic, I got a completely different reflection in my life. Now, I fast forward to now where I've been way more in my own frame than like 2 years ago. However, now I'm becoming aware of all the times that I like hold back. There's still little micro ways that I'm doing it to where I'm becoming aware of this pattern. Whether it's with my team, people in my life, where I'm like, I find myself sometimes tuning and trying to be like a peacemaker. And I think sometimes I'm trying to be a peacemaker because when I was a kid, I was the oldest of all my siblings, and I have like a lot of siblings, a lot of half brothers and sisters, and there was always a lot of like crazy stuff going on, a lot of like drama going on in the family, a lot of inconsistency. So I felt like my job was to like ease the tension of all these, of all my brothers and sisters fighting. And then I would get, I almost got maybe a sense of identity or entitlement from that where it's like, well, I'm responsible. I'm the oldest. I have to have this kind of energy or everything's gonna fall apart. Or there's gonna be more chaos with my mom or my dad or my stepmom, dad, whatever. So I can tell though that even now, what that's led to is that there's times I feel myself pulled in other people's intentions, other people's directions, instead of tuning to my own body and tuning to my own self to say, what the hell do I wanna do? I've noticed this even in my team recently with myself, where for, you know, I have this, all this success on YouTube, and this like certain momentum of things that have worked. Even like making these videos, for example, like I started making a video before this one that was on something to do with the no contact rule. Why? Because when I post videos on the no contact rule on YouTube, it does well. And I started seeing, I'm like, do I even wanna fricking talk about this? I've been talking about, I've been literally following just whatever I thought the audience, like it's a partly like I wanna like serve the audience in the best way, But also sometimes I abandon myself and like what I really wanna teach, what I really feel authentic to share. And I made literally like a 5-minute video and I cut it off. I literally stopped like halfway in the video, right here. The camera was right here, this thing's right here, and I just sat there for a minute and then I turned everything off and I said, screw it. I was like, maybe I just won't make a video today. And I started tuning more into like, what do I wanna talk about? And then there was this idea where I was like, well, if you start it, you are it. Like this concept has been transforming my life. And I gave a talk recently at a live event that my buddy was running just a couple days ago. And I could tell this really sunk in with people and people had big epiphanies when I was explaining like this kind of concept. So you know what, I wanna talk about that. So in a similar way, there's things you think you should do because you think it's what everyone else wants. But then there's also like, There's a little bit of that that's good, right? If I was like, maybe it wouldn't be the most beneficial thing if today I'm like, I feel like talking about underwater basket weaving. Like, it probably wouldn't be the best thing for my channel or even all of you unless I like incorporated it into content somehow. But at the same time, there's like, there's this like connection to my heart and my own vulnerability that I could be sharing in my videos that I think is, that is more authentic and real for you. To maybe see and maybe you feel that from me, you know? So sharing even that right now, I think there's maybe a level of vulnerability in there that you're like, you know what? Like, I didn't know he was gonna be talking about this in the video, but it probably, maybe it feels real to you. So the reason I say that though is the key for me that I'm realizing is tuning to my own energy and like what I feel passionate about, following the passion. Now, when I say that this has been affecting my own team, what I mean is like, there's this new energy inside of myself where I'm like, wait, this is the vision where I want everything to go. I wanna be doing more live events. I wanna be doing this. I wanna be traveling the world. I am now, like recently, as of this last like 2 weeks, I moved out of a relationship. I was in a relationship for like a year, year and a half, and moved out of that. And now I have, like, I feel, and by the way, there was a couple other elements of the breakup that I wanted to share where I'm not like, I'm not gonna go too much into it. It's also to be vulnerable with you. It's an interesting thing when I go through a breakup because there's this element that maybe some of you like don't see to where it's kind of awkward for me to be sharing my personal life on YouTube sometimes where I think because in the past I've been in public relationships before with people that are like well-known on Instagram or on YouTube. So because of that, there's almost like this feeling of like, do I need to explain myself to like everybody? But then it feels like I'm kind of like giving away a part of myself that feels like I shouldn't have to, you know? And in a past relationship, like there was a breakup video that was made and all of this stuff, and it caused a lot of drama and it caused a lot of like pain and it made things more complicated, honestly. Like at one point there was a breakup video with an ex that was made. And then I deleted the video because I felt so bad of that video that was made because the other person got so much flack from people. Like even though we were like friends and we're like, we're making this video together and it's like, you know, we were doing it in a way that we thought like everyone's gonna agree, everyone's gonna love this. People then were like attacking her. And I'm like, no, this isn't about taking sides. But then I felt like I should have deleted the video because I could tell, I could just tell that the energy was not something that I wanted. But like my ego was like, oh, this video got 180,000 views, I need to leave it up. But then eventually I deleted the video because I felt like I should have deleted the video a long time ago. But then what happened is then I found out later on that that first, that person, the ex-girlfriend found out about that and then felt hurt that I deleted the video. And I'm like, oh, I thought I was doing the right thing. But this whole thing gets kind of tricky because there's so many different elements at play, especially when you're broadcasting it to like, you know, so many people that are watching. However, my breakup, one big breakthrough with me with the breakup that I went through recently was that it was actually something that I chose in the sense that in past relationships, it was breakups just kind of happened. This was something that I consciously chose in the sense that like I was actually able to like lead and be in my own frame for the process of the breakup, which is also a big breakthrough in my own identity because in the past me, it was like always something that just kind of happened. Like for example, with my dad, my dad and my ex-stepmom, the whole narcissist ex, you know, ex-stepmom, the narcissist, my dad, the people pleaser guy. He's not just the people pleaser, I love my dad. My dad's amazing, by the way. My dad and my real mom as well are just phenomenal, great people. And they, you know, are just amazing people. But I think sometimes I talk about the negative sides on my YouTube channel, and sometimes maybe it looks like I have all this trauma with everybody. I'm just sharing the aspects that have helped me grow, really. But because like, even with the situation between my dad and my ex-stepmom, it kind of like boiled to a point to where my dad kind of had to break it off versus like him consciously choosing like, this is not okay, I do not allow this energy, I'm out with my kids, you know? And because I'd never seen like a healthy way to end a breakup and to like understand your own sense of self-worth in past relationships, it was nothing that really happened like by my choice. But recently I feel empowered knowing that like it's something that I'm able to choose by being in my own frame, by understanding my own sense of self-worth. Part of this is because I'm able to like be in my own energy and decide what do I want? What is a reflection of my own sense of worthiness? And what do I do that ends up like being a way to respect myself? And that's been something that's completely transformed my own life is understanding, always bringing it back to my body, always bringing it back to my hands and my feet as like cheesy as it sounds, but bringing the awareness into my body has been a game changer for me being in my own frame and deciding like, what do I want? What kind of videos do I wanna make on my channel? Despite what everyone else thinks and like what will do well, you know, what do I want? What do I wanna be doing? Like, I recently, I went to my buddy's live event. He's in town and he's like, my buddy Owen, he's like, hey, I'm gonna be speaking at this place. If you wanna come by and make a video with me, I have all the cameras set up, we can make a video. And I was kind of like, huh? There was something about it that sounded exciting, you know, just to do it. And then I ended up going and I went, was gonna go for only an hour, 30 minutes to an hour to give a talk. And I ended up going and I ended up speaking on stage or like in front of people for like 2.5, 3 hours. Super dynamic, it was a lot of fun, but it was just because I was passionate about it. While I was there, I became even more aware of, dude, I just wanna be doing live events. I just wanna do live events. Like everything in my business that does well is anything that's close to something that's like a live event. It's like the universe is saying, the closer you get to live events, the more things will happen in your life. So like I do these 21-day challenges. They're like pretty much 21-day live event. They do extraordinarily well. People get extraordinary transformations. Why? Because I think it's closest thing to me doing a live event and it's closest thing to my heart of what I'm passionate about. Anytime I do something that's connected to a live event, I love it. It doesn't feel like work. But sometimes when I make certain videos, it does feel like work unless I'm able to express vulnerably like I am in this video. And when I was with my buddy Owen, everything was being recorded. So I have 3 hours of content that could be put on YouTube or to be put somewhere. And it didn't feel like work. Didn't feel like I was having to force myself to make a video. So ironically enough, where do I wanna go? What direction excites me the most? With my team lately, I've been having meetings and I'm like, this is where we're going. And for a while it was kind of like we were just kind of coasting and I think they were kind of looking for direction, but now I'm able to kind of paint a clear picture. This is the direction we're going in. This is what we need to focus on. This is what we don't need to focus on. This is the key. And then I can tell that they're able to feel safer within that energy in a way. They're able to feel like more excited too. So it's like you get clarity from the moment you start. You start and you realize every moment you're a new you and it's like, who do I wanna be? Not do I want it, what do I wanna do? Who do I wanna be? What are the values of the ver— You get in life a reflection of who you're being. If you're embodying the energy of being someone that loves themself, it's gonna be easier to attract love. If you're being the energy of like you following your passion and being in your heart, that energy is gonna ripple out. And the electromagnetic energy of the heart is thousands of times more powerful than that of the head. So when you're being vulnerable, you're opening up your heart. When you're asking that person out, you're putting yourself out there. You could get rejected, but by showing the real you, you're not hiding the shame anymore. You're healing through the process of it. The moment I started making videos on YouTube, that changed my life a lot back in 2017. The moment I've started now realizing I just wanna do live events, I just wanna do this. The more passionate that energy is, the more energy field, I could just tell, it's like new opportunities that come into my life because of it. So realize the moment you start it, you are it because every moment you are a new you. The moment that is here right now that is watching this video is a completely different version of you than even 5 minutes ago. Because every moment the cells in your body are dying and reborn. If it appears to be the same, the only thing that's the same is the story. It's the belief. It's the belief that we are nouns that keeps us from shifting. The belief that I'm a static being, this is who I am. When in actuality, you are a new you. You are a new you every moment, you're a new you. So who do you choose to be? You are not stuck in an old personality. Your personality is not permanent. And the more you give yourself permission to be and to start, and you let go of the blocks to starting, a lot of times are feeling unworthy, feeling like you're flawed, feeling like a perfectionist, like everything has to be perfect, doubting your own sense of credibility, doubting your abilities. You get comfortable by stepping into the unknown and expanding your comfort zone. And the more you do it, the more natural it becomes. Your identity is your comfort zone. You think, feel, and act similar to how you identify yourself. When you expand it and you do something in the unknown, you begin to expand your sense of identity. That begins to shift your life more than anything else. And a huge part of this is understanding how you think, feel, and act, which is your vibration. Now, if you haven't checked out yet, I have a quiz that I've taken. It's so powerful. It's called whatsmyvibration.com. And when you go to www.whatsmyvibration.com, you can calibrate your vibration and then also get a meditation for helping you get to a higher level of consciousness. And that is the key to really shifting into a new you like that. So if you want that meditation, you wanna know more about your unique vibration, then go to whatsmyvibration.com, check it out. If also you want to learn step by step, one of the most powerful processes I've ever learned, it's called the frame technique. Read the comments and see what's possible. It's a simple meditation process for getting in your own frame. Check this video out right here. Being in your own frame and in your own body are the same thing. They're the same thing. So the more you bring your energy into your body, the more you're going to be in your natural frame. And when you've went through trauma growing up, maybe you went through abuse or some type of trauma, you escaped
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