Watch This Before You Try to “Trust the Universe” Again...
Aaron Doughty argues trust isn't learned but primed through repeated exposure to uncertainty and vulnerability. He shares how speaking without preparation, a 100-person London event, and vulnerable conversations rewired his nervous system from chronic anxiety to calm presence. He offers a free two-week coaching program normally worth $2,000.
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The degree to which you trust is the degree to which you allow into your life. Whether that's love you want to attract, whether that's learning to trust God or the universe in general, the ability to trust in yourself, to trust in your own sense of intuition, the ability to trust is in direct correlation to what you are able to receive in your life. And in this video, I'm gonna share with you a radically new perspective of trust, understanding how this might be the key to attracting more love in your life. This might be the key that has been literally blocking what you want from coming in, the block to that. I'm gonna show you how to completely switch the energy so that love comes to you, so that God and the universe is able to flow through you in a very powerful way. Now, first off, here's the premise of this video right here. You don't have to learn to trust. In fact, you can't even learn how to trust. Trust is a natural part of who you are. Trust is who you are. Think about it like love is who you are. You say, "I need to learn how to love." No, you just have to let go of the fear to loving. In the same way, there is trust, which is what you naturally are. It is the energy and the presence that flows through you. It is the calm regulated nervous system that you naturally are. And that what you are actually learning to let go of is the fear, it's the control, It's the attachment to the familiar that will change everything. Even looking at this, I was recently in, you know, I'm traveling right now in Europe. I am in Portugal right now. I'm gonna put some B-roll in this video showing you some of the views in Portugal, which is amazing. And before this, I was in London and I was running a live event there. And I ran a 3-day live event. And this was the very first live event that I've done where there were over 100 people. I did 3 days of speaking, 3 days of hot seat coaching, zero planned content whatsoever. I just show up and I speak for 6 or 7 hours a day for 3 days in a row. And I look at that and this was the very first time in this last year where there was zero nerves whatsoever. Going into it, like leading up to it, normally, there's nerves that come up. Normally, even though I'm like, gotten more and more familiar with it, there's always a little bit of nerves. And even right before I get called out on stage, there's like this energy. This is the first one where there was none of that. Even as I come on stage and there's no planned content whatsoever, like how does that happen? And I was really contemplating this. And the whole theme of this 3-day experience was on trusting God, trusting the universe, trusting the unknown. So what I'm sharing with you in this video is kind of the accumulation of all the powerful ideas that came from that, that I'm gonna be sharing with you that have allowed many people in that live event to have breakthroughs. But the question to myself was, why is this event so different? Why does it, does it mean I don't care? Does it mean I don't take it as serious as I used to? And I thought to myself, I was like, did I learn how to trust? Is that what happened? I sat there and I was seeing affirmations and I was learning how to trust. What I believe really happened is trust is less about learning how to do it and it's more about priming your nervous system with repetition. That's what I really did. I did live events for an entire year, multiple, multiple times with zero content, zero understanding what I'm talking about. Even as I walk on stage, I don't know. And there's also, I think, a degree to surrendering to the universe or surrendering to the space, surrendering to be of service to other people that pulled it out of me. But the other part of it is I just put in repetitions. So at one point I would go out on stage, you know, a year ago, there'd be a lot of nerves. I would think about it for like a week prior and it would be this thing, my nervous system would feel kind of jumbled 'cause it was the unknown. Well, what happened is I would take action. I would do it. I'd get more familiar with it. And then I would do that over and over again. And I guess you could say, if I look back, I could say, "Oh, look, I learned how to trust." I learned how to trust by putting in repetitions. That's really what happened is I put in repetitions and my nervous system, every time I did it, even when I was in unknown circumstances, what happened is It'd be like you could be in the unknown and everything turns out okay. And that would happen over and over again. And then my sense of perception changed where it wasn't this crazy thing I'm doing. So I guess here's another idea that I'm having right now while filming this video. The more repetitions you put in, the more you begin to trust that new identity. So I put in repetitions of doing live events over and over again. I got into the unknown. I would make it more about the people there and allow the energy to flow through. And then it's like it became more and more natural for my identity, which it's like I can trust the unknown because this is who I am. And even this one last live event in London, what was interesting is I would sometimes go up there and I would just soften my energy, not knowing what I'm gonna say next. And I finally started to use more pauses in my speaking. I used to be so uncomfortable with pauses. Like the more I can fill the space with words, the more I look like I know what I'm talking about. You know, it's interesting. I used to have this fear. I'd go out on stage and I had this fear that would come up. From childhood, where in high school I went in front of the— in English class and I had to give a presentation. And I get up in front of the class and I didn't do my homework. I let my teammates down as well because I didn't prepare. And I froze on stage, not on stage, in front of the class, like 40 kids. So embarrassed. I don't remember what happened. Kind of blacked out. But then what happened is I decided from that experience to learn forensics debate, to like commit to speaking, to overcome that fear. And I fell in love with speaking. And even though I fell in love with speaking, eventually got on YouTube, and now I run live events for a living, what's interesting is in the back of my mind at some of my prior live events, there'd be this fear. What if you get in front of people and you forget what you're speaking about? You'll look deer in headlights. And what's interesting is sometimes I would be speaking and the self-sabotaging part of my personality would come through and I'd be in flow state and then I would start questioning being in flow state. Aaron, what if you forget what you're talking about? And I'm speaking and then sometimes I'll start to sweat. I'm looking at the crowd and this weird sabotage energy comes up and I would try to avoid it. I don't want people to think I don't know what I'm talking about. And then one time I met a friend of mine who is a public speaker for a living, and he came on stage and he was speaking at one of my live events and he forgot what he was speaking about on stage. You want to know what he did? So what was I saying? Oh, I forgot. Doesn't matter. That was it. Must not be important to the now, was the joke. And then he went on talking about something else. The very thing that I had shame around, that I was afraid people would see, was the very thing he just embraced and so nonchalantly just let go by. Made me realize like, whoa, what am I protecting people? What is the fear? So what I've learned is even getting on stage this last live event, slowing things down, focusing on being present and feeling, that's really what trust is. Trust is presence. It's allowing the moment to be. It's trusting what is, not trying to be something else. This video could be a consciousness shift for you if you embrace this idea as well. Are you ready? You think of worthiness. You think you need to become worthy, don't you? Everyone hears it. You hear in order for you to attract what you want, you have to feel worthy of it. Do you believe you deserve love? If you believe you deserve it, then you can attract it. But if you don't believe you deserve it, you're not worthy of it, you won't attract, you will block it from coming into your life. You will attract toxic, emotionally unavailable people. Here's the thing though, instead of playing the game of worthiness, here's the same concept as this whole trust thing. You're already worthy because you exist. And here's what I believe, you are also not worthy. I said it. This is a radically new perspective. I don't believe you are either worthy or not worthy. You just exist. Like, is a baby worthy or not worthy? Well, of course the baby's worthy. Well, does the baby have to do affirmations and say, "I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy," and then begin to believe in itself more and more so that it can attract love? It just is. It exists. See, what happens a lot of times is people wanna be worthy and feel worthy. So you know what they do? There's like this scale where it's like, if you feel not worthy, you feel shame, like broken or something wrong with you. And what happens is that, of course, I'm worthy, I'm worthy, I'm worthy. Do you come back up here? The more you say I am worthy, you actually affirm that you're not worthy. The other side of it is sometimes the way people get through not feeling worthy is they overcompensate. And what they do is they feel pride and ego gratification. It's called grandiosity. I am better than everyone. It's okay that I'm not worthy. That person, they don't have the good life that you think they do. It's like, I feel better than other people, trying to cover up feeling not worthy. When if you just don't play the game altogether, you are both worthy and not worthy, it's freeing, it's liberating. Because also everybody else is both worthy and not worthy too. No one's better than anyone else. Everybody just is, they exist. And a baby just exists. And we say, "Oh, that baby's worthy, it's so worthy." Compared to what? What baby is not worthy? And what baby is worthy? Think about that. What makes a worthy, like, it needs to do something? No, everything just is, it exists. And when we're talking right now about trusting God, trust the universe, everything just is. It exists. Now, fear and control is the pattern we may have learned in childhood where we said in the moment something happened in childhood and we said, "Huh, I don't feel safe. Now I must be over here and this way." So for example, if love was not unconditional as a kid, The conditions to love may have been getting validation and approval. So validation and approval then caused these survival mechanisms to come at play, such as people pleasing, such as fixing, such as being perfect and coming off the right way. These are all mechanisms. They're not who you really are. But if you play that game, you will create all this resistance. And then you'll say, "I need to learn to trust." And then the people pleaser breakthrough might be to actually express how you really feel. How do I trust I can share myself with other people and not be rejected? Well, once again, no resistance to what is is just trusting the moment to be. If you do express how you are and someone rejects you, if you're not avoiding being rejected, then it's okay if you do get rejected. There's no resistance to it. Do you see the energy difference? It's almost like you're good either way. You're not playing the game. And even if somebody doesn't resonate with you, do you have to interpret it as rejection? Somebody has not liked me. I am not worthy. I am not good enough. There's a whole story there. It's funny, at the live event, I shared a story of these people that I used to see at my old job when I sold women's shoes. I would go on my lunch break sometimes in these malls. And what I would do is I would see these people that were working and standing in front of these cosmetic shops. One of the things they would do is they were these people that had this like energy where they just weren't afraid of rejection. I actually used to really admire that. Be like, these people are able to get rejected literally hundreds of times a day. Because what they would do is they would sit there and what they would do is they would pass out this cosmetics. And what they would do is there were samples. And then they would get these people to come into the store. They would sell them like a whole bunch of stuff. And even though, you know, selling got an interesting rap sometimes, they would get rejected like 9 out of 10 times or more. But eventually they'd get someone in. And what I found out is these people actually made good money doing what they did. So they probably, it's like to make $30,000 a month or something like that, they were willing to get rejected that many times. And they would get rejected all these times. And what I found interesting about that is do you think every time somebody passed them and didn't take their little cosmetic sample, they're like, I'm not worthy. "I'm just not enough. There's something wrong with me." No, they just don't internalize it, right? The challenge with people that are trying to put in not trusting and trying to control is that they're internalizing what's happening as if it means something about them. And that's what causes the avoidance and the control to come in. So it's like, "I don't want you to see me a certain way. I wanna appear a certain way," et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So reps, I even think in my relationship, the biggest breakthroughs I've had for the relationship to even happen as well was a vulnerable conversation. Vulnerability, because it's the situation was 5 years of friendship, almost pretty much best friends. A conversation that happened that kind of revealed more that was under the surface. There was a fear because that person was, we were so close that it could make things weird. What if it's not mutual? It was interesting. The whole basis of that relationship started because of a vulnerable conversation. And even throughout the relationship itself, there are moments where there've been things that come up and in the past relationships, maybe just put it to the side. Control, not let someone see a certain part of yourself. And every time there's a choice to just express what comes up, it results in more closeness. But I remember the first time this happened, there was a fear that what if I expressed something that was coming up and there was this like rejection energy or like not, like after there was the relationship, there was a feeling that what if there was, Like what if something happened and then it was like just everything fell apart? The realization there too though is that like when you're dating somebody, you're kind of not testing, but you're kind of like seeing if there's compatibility with nervous systems and with being able to express these things because that's a symbol for how you're gonna be able to do and be in a long-term relationship. But what's interesting is every time there's always the fear And then there's the doing of it anyways. And then there's the repetition and being able to see, oh, everything is still okay. So through repetitions, it's being able to say, oh, I can just have these vulnerable conversations. And every time I put in a rep, it results in more closeness and a clearing of energy. So once again, trusting God, trusting the universe is about really repetitions. You're really trusting the unknown and trusting what is, not trying to avoid what is, not trying to get rid of the emotions that are under the surface. So what if your biggest next breakthrough is around understanding that fear will be there? And part of that fear is there, by the way, think of it like this. There is like this mechanism like this That is your identity. And imagine that inside this mechanism of how you view yourself, you have how you think, feel, and act, and there's a certain comfort zone that you have. And what happens is your comfort zone is what's equal to your identity. Well, what happened is I eventually, when I was in 2017, saw myself as a 9-to-5 job goer. Eventually I started to be a YouTuber, making YouTube videos every day. It was weird at first, it was kind of cringy, And then I did it. You wanna know what happened after I did it? I did it again. And what happened after that? Oh yeah, I did it again. But then there was something that happened after that. I remember now, I did it again. But then after that, oh, I did something else actually. The thing I did is I did it again. I just kept doing it because that was who I choose to be. And then eventually reality began to shift and eventually, I was trusting my ability to create videos. It was normal. It was natural. And then I got eventually stagnant with that. And I said, you know what? It doesn't bring me the same excitement it used to. So then I started running live events. Guess what happened then? It was kind of weird at first. It's like, I need to learn to trust God or the universe. I need to learn to trust myself. And then I did it. And guess what I did again? You get the idea. I could keep doing it, but I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it. And here I am just doing my London live event for 3 days. And it was natural. The nerves weren't there like they used to be. Now what's funny is I wonder if I could change a couple variables. Like for example, I'm very comfortable with 100, 200 people in a crowd. Let's say one time I do an event, it's a 3-day live event. Let's say there's 600, 700, 1,000 people in the crowd. Maybe then my nervous system is like, huh, my identity's like, this is not what you're used to, less people. Maybe then, and then the identity will come up and do its thing and put fear and nerves into it and say, this is very important because instead of 100 or 200 people, there's 600 people or 1,000 people. Maybe that's the case. But you wanna know what the solution will be? Affirmations. I trust, I trust, I trust, I trust. No, of course I'm being sarcastic. Instead of trying to trust, put in the reps. Let go of the mechanism of fear that is trying to help you. It's more about letting go of the fear, feeling the fear and taking action anyways. That's what's more important about this process. Feel the fear, do it anyways. That's the motto. Feel the fear, do it anyways. Now, trust is also about understanding your nervous system. You know, at this live event, there's some videos you'll see come out soon if they haven't come out already. This one woman had a big breakthrough where she was in that of a relationship that she knew wasn't good. She'd find herself always falling back and caving into this guy. It's been like a situationship for like off and on for like years. And then finally at this live event, she decided to cut off the energy. The funny thing was is she cut off the energy on stage, hadn't talked to him in a while. She went on a lunch break, had this huge breakthrough. She goes on her lunch break that day, comes back, that guy's blowing up her phone when she turns her phone back on. He could energetically feel the shift. And what was interesting is the next day I brought her back up again and she shared what happened and she shared just how he was reaching out to her and how she felt so different. And what was interesting is she didn't have to learn to trust. She was calm. He represented this spike in energy and dopamine and fighting and all this like resistance. And when people shift into this trusting energy, the thing we heard throughout these 3 days more than anything, you wanna know what it was? I feel very peaceful and calm. Maybe that's what trust is. Sometimes we think of trust as like, I'm gonna get jolted with like energy and I'm like, oh my God, I trust, I trust in God. Maybe it's just calm presence energy connected to what is. And maybe we've just been tuning ourselves to chaos, to familiar energy, to the fear, to all these other things that we're avoiding. My answer to this is feel it. Let it be there. Breathe into it. And then take action anyways. And know that as you take action, you're changing your inner self-image, how you see yourself, And eventually the energy begins to shift more and more and more and more and more and more and more 'cause you're doing it again and again and again. So whether it's a vulnerable conversation to be had, whether it's a new thing to do to wire into your reality, a new way of being, or whatever it is, repetitions is the key. Allowing the moment to be is the key. Allowing what is to be is the magic. Now, something I'm gonna be doing soon is connected to learning to trust in your abilities and your own confidence. So a little bit more of a niche thing. This is for both coaches and aspiring coaches. It's a $2,000 course for free in exchange for feedback. This is for coaches and aspiring coaches. If you're feeling the call to, step into your power into being able to help other people in whatever way and whatever you're passionate about, even if you don't know exactly what that is yet. It's for people to learn to have confidence and empowerment within themselves to make a difference in the world. I'm gonna be sharing the exact tools and techniques I use to coach people. And I'm gonna be showing you how to build momentum and get clients so that you can quit your 9-to-5 job doing this. It's a 2-week free course that comes with live hot seat coaching. Comes with meditations, breathwork, etc. And it's free. And if you wanna join, there is an application process. You can click the link below. You can join, grab your spot. We'll be doing live hot seat coaching. It's gonna be magical. We've done this before for general business, but this is the first one specifically for coaches. So if you wanna join, it is starting here soon. You'll see the dates below. And I believe it starts on November 3rd, and it's gonna be epic. So if you wanna join, you can see that below. Other than that, let me know what your top takeaway was from today's video. Go ahead and comment below. Let me know. And I'll see you on the next video. Peace, much love, and namaste.
