What REALLY HAPPENED On December 21, 2012? (The SCARY TRUTH)

Back in December 21st of 2012, I thought that we were going to ascend into a higher level of consciousness. I thought literally we were going to ascend and then not be here anymore. All right, that's literally what I believed. Okay, I went through an awakening in 2012, and then shortly after that I got in like an online community and was like reading about all this stuff, and there was people like David Wilcock and some other people that I looked up to that was talking about this. And I ended up believing in this. And what ended up happening is actually some pretty funny things with how far I ended up taking this. Okay. So first off, I was at the time working at Nordstrom's in women's shoes. Many of you guys probably know the story. And I was working there and I believed this so much. And one of the main problems I had was I would go to work every day, and every Sunday there were these global meditations for ascending to the higher level of consciousness. And I would leave Nordstrom's in Vegas, and I'd walk across the street to the Trump Hotel, and I would meditate in the grass there at 11:11, whatever time it was, you know. And because work was getting in the way of those global meditations of ascension, I was like, okay, this isn't really working anymore, you know. And what ended up happening is I went into work and I put in— I didn't even put in my 2 weeks. I literally went into work and I was like, we're going to ascend on December 21st, 2012. You know, it doesn't matter. So I literally just went into work one day and I said, I'm not coming in tomorrow. And that's literally what happened. All right. And then I was living with my mom and my brothers and sisters at a time, and I was just planning for December 21st, 2012. You know, we're not going to be here. Another thing that I did is I had an Acura TL at the time. It was a car I actually really liked. It was a 2006, and this is back in 2012, and that was my car that I drove around. And funny enough, I owed, I think, I owed $4,000 left on the loan, and I was just so unaware and so in my own bubble that I let the car get repossessed. And the car was worth $10,000. So I could have literally sold the car, pocketed the $6K, and then had, I could have lived it up even more in 2012, but I had no idea, it didn't matter to me because we're gonna ascend. All right? So these are all different things that I did. Another thing that I did is I wrote letters to all my family members. I wrote letters and I put it inside my stuff because when I ascend, I want them to know what happened to me. You know? So I like, Mom, Dad, you know, I know that you didn't see this coming and like this is what happened. And the funny thing is I look back at this and I'm like, what did I think would happen? Like on December 21st, like I'd go to bed and then I'd wake up and just be in this higher reality. Like it's different time everywhere on the planet. You know what I mean? So I'm not sure even what the thought process was, but that was all a part of it. I remember an interesting thing. I eventually at one point told my dad about this and I remember it. I remember very clearly like it was yesterday. I went in, told my dad, and actually I told my grandma about it because she was living at my dad's house. And I told her, you know, about this ascension and how we're going to ascend in a couple of months and stuff like that. My grandma's like, "You have to tell your dad this." She had like no idea what to do. So then I go and I tell my dad and I'm like, "Okay, Dad, I need to talk to you." And he's like, "Well, okay." I take him to the backyard and I could totally tell that My dad thought I was going to tell him that I was gay. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's what my dad was bracing himself. So I go into the backyard and he's got his hand on my back and he's like, "What's going on?" And I'm like, "You know, there's this government conspiracy going on. There's the fiat system and all this stuff going on. There's interdimensional travel and all these Pleiadians." And I start telling him all this stuff that was just so out of there for him. And he was like, he had no idea how to react. You know, he was just confused. And that's, you know, I wanted to express myself. I wanted to like, I wanted to help them maybe wake up a little bit, you know? And it actually was, it got sad a little bit later. I went there like a week later and he was like, you know, he was like, "What happened to my son?" He was calling my friends. He thought I was on drugs or something like that. 'Cause at that time, I went vegan and I started losing a lot of weight and stuff. So he's like, oh, you must be on drugs, you know? And I go back a week later and he's like, what happened to my son? And he was like crying and I had never really saw my dad cry at that point. And it was just so emotional for me. I remember I just, I was crying. I went back to my mom's house, which I was living, and I was just crying, bawling because I just felt so alone, you know? And the reason I'm sharing this with you guys is there was, that was a moment when I felt very alone. I felt like I had all these spiritual concepts and these spiritual ideas and I just wanted to share them with everyone. I wanted everyone to be able to wake up. I wanted everyone to understand what I was feeling. And by doing that as well, I alienated myself quite a bit. I had friends that thought I was crazy, friends I grew up with, went to high school with, used to hang out with all the time. They thought I went crazy. I had family members that thought I went crazy and I was just so bought into December 21st, 2012, you know? And what happened shortly after that is December 22nd, 2012. So shortly after that— Yeah, so shortly after that, I woke up on December, you know, 22nd, 2012, and I was pretty depressed, as you can imagine. I'm like, why the fuck am I still here? What am I doing here? Now I look like a freaking— I look like a weirdo, you know? My dad's like, hey, what's going on, buddy? All my friends are like, how's it going? I'm like, Fuck you guys, you know? I was so, but it was, you know, it was a sad moment. I felt like the lone wolf. How many of you guys feel like lone wolves in your family at one point or maybe your friend, your group of friends? Yeah, I felt like a lone wolf. And, you know, after that, actually what happened was something. I was going to a, so I didn't have a job at the time. And what ended up happening is I went to somebody that was doing like muscle testing, kind of like the Power vs. Force content where like, They muscle test the subconscious mind and stuff like that. And I went to this, there was this like 80-something-year-old woman that did it over the phone. And she like completely dialed in on so many different times of my life, things I got from ex-girlfriends, heart walls I put up. She was able to like, you know, it's like yes or no questions that then show like different things about your subconscious and stuff like that. And so much of what she said was so accurate, it was blowing my mind. And then at the end of that, I was like, I was like, "Does spirit want me to get a job?" You know? And then she was like, "Well, you know, we normally don't muscle test that, but I'm getting a very strong yes." And I'm like, "Can you do it again?" You know? So I made her do it like 3 times, and I was like, "You know what? Maybe a lot of what she said was right, but maybe not all of it." You know? But then a couple weeks later, after that, it was going into 2013. For a while, I was in this like really kind of ungrounded stage to where I was so resistant to getting a job again and integrating back in the 3D reality that I was telling my dad and my mom and everyone, I was like, I'll go live at Sunset Park and just meditate, which is the place in Vegas, rather than getting a job. At one point, that's where I was. And also, after we lived in that one house, some stuff happened to where my mom and I, I lived in the Emerald Suites. Emerald Suites are kind of like budget suites if you've ever seen them in Vegas. It's not a good place to live in. Not a lot of good things going on in places like that. I lived in the living room floor and my mom and my sister lived in the room and I would sleep on the floor. I'd get just enough food from Trader Joe's to make it by, but it was definitely a low moment for me, you know what I mean? After that, my dad, a couple months into this and being kind of rigid on this whole ascension thing, I was like, okay, maybe I do need to reintegrate back into society. Maybe I do need to reintegrate and really come at peace with the 3D. So what I ended up doing is I went to Barney's, you know, I worked in women's shoes at Nordstrom, so I applied at Barney's New York in women's shoes. And I, you know, whatever that lady said, it was like I went in to get the job. I applied. The next day I had the interview and on the spot I got the job. So I was like, okay, maybe this is like what I'm meant to be doing. You know, not meant to, but this is what, this is like the next stage is for me to actually like reintegrate. So what I ended up doing is working there. For like 5 years, you know? And I was just, I was reading books, watching seminars, learning as much as I could. And I really used that as a time to like go within myself, you know, and really come at peace with a lot of these things. And what eventually happened, as some of you guys may know from seeing my YouTube videos, but in February of 2017, I made the choice to go daily on YouTube. I had this idea and almost this download from my higher self where I don't know how to describe it other than like I was, you know, it was almost like a download that said, if you make a video every single day moving forward for like a year, your life will completely transform. And I just felt that. So I started making those videos every single day. And within 2 or 3 weeks, I had a video that went viral. It was like, it started to grow my channel. I went from like 3,000 subs to 20,000 subs in 1 month. And it just, it started the growth of like, you know, the YouTube channel growth. And within a couple months, as I started growing, I started, you know, at that moment I was still feeling kind of alone. I didn't really have many people in my life that I really felt connected to. But as I started following my passion and I focused on being that version of me, being the full-time YouTuber, literally, you know, I worked the 9-to-5 job 40 hours a week, and I would work 30 hours a week making videos. Every single day, no matter what, before I went to bed, I would make a video, edit a video, and schedule it to go out the next day. And that was it. And there was no, there was no ifs, ands, or buts. And as I started doing that, it started to change a lot. Now, what eventually happened though, is I was like, huh, let me reach out to other people that are also maybe in the same space as me. And one of those people that I reached out to was Victor Otto. How many of you guys have heard of Victor Otto? Awesome. So Victor Otto is one of my best friends. Him and I are also, him, I, and Patty, we run those retreats in Costa Rica that we're talking about. But at the time I reached out to him literally just because I wanted to connect to somebody that did something similar to me. So I connected to him and I reached, I emailed him and then he emailed me back. And then what we did is we got on a phone call. I was in Vegas, he was in San Diego. And what we did is we just got on the phone with each other and we just connected as like friends. We just, and what we were doing though is kind of in a business sense, I was like really figuring out YouTube and started going viral on YouTube. So I helped him. I was like, this is how you can go viral. This is how you can grow your channel. This is how you can do this. And then on the other side of it, he was like this, he was a master at getting coaching clients. He had like 50 coaching clients when I met him, 50 coaching clients, but he was making like 10 grand a month. And that to me back in the day was like, oh, I was like, oh, you know, he had 3, 3 kids and a wife, and that was like plenty to support him. And I'm like, oh my god. And even though I had subscribers on YouTube, I had no idea how to make money, you know. So it was like, even though everything was growing, I was like, well, how do I, you know, how do I actually make this a lifestyle? How do I make this a business? And he explained to me, you know, he helped me understand that all I really needed was like 3 to 5 clients to pay my bills, you know, like to, you know, 6 or 7 clients paying me $300 a month would cover my bills. And that switched everything for me. But we became good friends and we started talking like every month or so we would talk. And we'd share all these ideas. I'd share what I'm learning on YouTube. He'd share what he was learning on his coaching business and stuff like that. And eventually what happened is he came to Vegas. We made a video and then we actually went to a Bashar conference. How many of you guys have heard of Bashar? Cool. So we were Bashar fans. We would watch this guy's content a lot. So we went to a conference in Vegas together and we We just kind of became really good friends. And after that, eventually, we both got— one of the first cool things about being on YouTube is we got invited out to this place in Costa Rica. And it's this place where they serve— it's like a facility that legally administers like 4 nights of ayahuasca. And they reached out and said, "Hey, do you want to come on this trip to Costa Rica? And when you come on this trip, you just come for free." You could drink the medicine, you could just come for free and just enjoy everything. And then at the end of the fort, you know, just make a video about it. And it was like a $5,000 value, you know. So we're like, I was like, fuck yeah, you know. So Victor and I went to that. And it was at first, I wasn't gonna do anything because I was so like, I mean, at that time I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I didn't do anything. So ayahuasca to me was kind of like out of my comfort zone. But I went and I kind of just got sucked in. There's like a group energy that was there and I just started to feel more comfortable and I knew Victor was drinking. So then I ended up drinking. And it was just, it was like totally life-changing, the experiences I had. And I learned a lot from that. Like how to open up, how to be vulnerable. I was able to realize that a lot of the drive for success that I had, a lot of it was built upon principles of not feeling successful significant when I was a kid. I could see that I worked really, really hard because I created such a safety in my business, but it was coming from a place of feeling lack. And these are like— there's many more insights I've had from plant medicine or ayahuasca especially. But I never forget there was one real special moment that I had. It was actually with Victor. It was on the second night we were there. We both didn't really feel the medicine that much. And sometimes you'll get a cup, you'll drink it, and you'll go, you know, there's like the scenario is like you're laying on a mattress and stuff like that. And sometimes you'll feel it, sometimes you won't. This one night, for some reason, the medicine just wasn't strong for us. And we took it and then we ended up like kind of going outside of the maloca. You're not allowed to leave the space, but you're allowed to go out to where there's like hammocks and stuff like that. And we were over there and we were talking. And we were just kind of connecting. And it was real funny because it was like him and I were realizing and just like talking about our journey of like, you know, spiritual awakening and stuff like that. And we were best friends, but we didn't know everything about each other. But I was like, it was one of the most fun conversations I've ever had. To this day, I remember it clearly. But basically what happened is I'm sitting there with him and we're talking about our spiritual awakening. And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna get vulnerable here. So I was like, dude, You're not gonna believe this. Back in December of 2012, I thought we were gonna ascend into a higher level of consciousness. I got my car get repoed. I quit my job on a whim. I did all this shit. And I shit you not, Victor was like, holy shit, he did the exact same thing. Victor lived in Michigan at the time, and what Victor did is he had 2 kids at the time and his wife, and he was so convinced he was gonna ascend that his father-in-law bought them a house as a wedding anniversary. They sold their house, cashed it out, spent hundreds of thousands of dollars partying it up in Florida, went through all the money in a year, and then December 22nd came around and he was still there. So in this moment where I'm like, we were just, we just were laughing about how we're like, did we just become best friends? You know, do you want to do karate at the maloca? Let's go, you know. And it was this, it was just, just this realization that vulnerability also, like the more you guys are here over these next 3 days, the more you're expressing yourself, really just showing your heart, not being afraid of getting rejected, you know, or feeling judged. There's powerful moments that come from energy like that. So with Victor, him and I have become so close, and it's so crazy to me how similar some of our parallel journey was. There were apparently hundreds of thousands of people around the planet that believed the same thing, because there were websites committed to it and all this stuff. The third night of ayahuasca. So the second night we didn't really feel it, which is dangerous because what happens is the third night we went in, we were super cocky. We're like, took 4 cups, didn't feel it. The next night, the next day we go in and we each took like a, you know, like a, we took, it was the feminine medicine. Some of these different ayahuasca blends, they have different energies to them. And this one's the feminine one. So I took it and I understood a lot about my journey at that moment because Basically what I was told in a way, or I felt in a way, was Mother Ayahuasca in a way kind of came through. And I took a cup and within like half an hour I started to feel so much unconditional love in my body that it freaked me the fuck out. Like I was like, I thought I was gonna explode. I didn't know what was happening. I thought I could die or some shit. Like my childhood trauma of wanting to control everything was like really getting activated. And basically what I was told was, you know, she, you may, you guys may have heard me say this in other videos and stuff like that. When I went through my awakening in 2012, I went from feeling on a scale of 1 to 10 of a solid 3 or 5, 3 to 5. Like I'd feel a 5 if I like smoked weed or I did something. But normally I'd feel like a 3 to 5 out of 10, with 10 feeling amazing, 1 feeling not so great. After my awakening, I went to like a 7 or 8 out of 10. I felt high all the time. I quit drinking, quit smoking, just started feeling great. And what I was told by Mother Ayahuasca at that point was, you know, buddy, how you say, you know, you feel like a 7 or 8 out of 10, it was like, well, here's a 20, you know. And I felt, and it was scary, but basically the message I got was that in this lifetime, we are all going to have the capability and the potential to elevate our vibration to a level to where that's our natural state. But if you try to rush the process, good thing, like, things like that may happen. And that's why in 2012 when we didn't ascend and I was disappointed, it's like my impatience was wanting me to get there. I was like, I want it all now. We think we want it all now. We think we want disclosure and all of this shit, but we don't know necessarily what comes with it. And there's a lot of, that's why it's most powerful when we go within ourselves and we start to really be patient with this process of awakening and realize that the more you guys show your hearts, tap into your heart energy, the more all of you go after your passion, which is your soul's calling, when you follow your passion, the more you are going to naturally meet your soul tribe, the more you are gonna meet people that are also similar to you. And all of you guys here right now, by the way, you guys all share the same values. You guys all have similar missions, I would imagine. And there might be something there that's blocking you from the most authentically expressing that. Because remember, like I was saying a little bit ago, we all have this ego preservation mechanism inside of ourselves that's trying to keep us the same. And the challenge is that if who we are, we identify ourselves as someone who plays small, somebody who doesn't like the light on them, doesn't wanna shine or doesn't think they deserve to shine, somebody that feels like you're a burden to the world or somebody that feels like you're not worthy, then if you try to do anything that's outside of that old identity, you're gonna feel nervous, you're gonna feel uncomfortable because the ego preservation mechanism locks into place and then it reverts you and you might get imposter syndrome, self-sabotage. You know, when I first started getting on YouTube, I felt imposter syndrome. Here I am working at Barney's New York selling women's shoes talking about the law of attraction. You know, like that was, That was my, that's what I was doing. And it was like some, you know, I was feeling like, oh, I don't have a lot, you know, I went to college for a little bit, but I didn't graduate. I don't have a law degree or any type of like coaching certificate even. So all these blocks came up. Well, how do you, you're not credible. You're not good enough. You don't even, you know, I was so awkward when I first got on YouTube. You go to my oldest YouTube videos, you'll see, like I was like reading off a script and it was like, fringy, and it was— that was the energy because it was something I'd never done before. And I felt like I was kind of a perfectionist. I thought that everything had to be perfect. I'd put these almost impossible standards onto myself. Like everything has to be a certain way, and if it wasn't that way, then maybe I'd reshoot it. Which if you're doing a video a day, every single day, you can't do that. You gotta eventually let that perfectionism go, and that's kind of what I had to learn how to do. I was procrastinating for 3 years. I thought I had this whole like, you know, I was watching Abraham Hicks, nothing against, you know, the teachings or anything, but it was like I was thinking about it, I was visualizing it. I had all these elaborate plans in my head where I was like, oh, I'm gonna go into work one day and then I'm gonna help Tony Robbins and he's gonna see this potential in me and he's gonna put me on stage and then this is gonna happen. And that's how I was trying to manifest stuff. But the years went by And I waited and then it didn't happen. And then the next year, and then it just was this long cycle where I just had these like kind of elaborate stories in my mind of how shit was gonna happen. But eventually what happened is I realized that I had to put myself on, I had to take the leap, I had to jump into this unknown territory. I had to take the initiative. I had to embody this new version of me and choose that this is the most authentic version of myself. I have to open up my heart and be willing to share my heart with others and not be afraid of even the criticism, whatever people might think about me, which is another thing that stopped me for so long. So if I would've, you know, I would've probably been on YouTube in 2015, 2014 if I would've, Just push through that initial little bit of discomfort. And think about it right now. Like many of you, there may be a whole nother level to your life, a whole nother dimension that you haven't experienced yet. And all it takes is for you to take the first step, for you to take the first jump into this new reality. And think about what that might be for you and what that might feel like. To be that new version of you. Now you'll find that over the next 3 days, there's gonna be an emphasis on awareness, of course. Now the thing that I want us to become aware of is this is a process more about letting go than it is about wiring in even, because this isn't about taking away the old identity. Like my thoughts, my actions, and my feelings back in 2017, in the beginning of the year, were very in alignment with working a 9-to-5 job selling women's shoes. I'd go into work, I'd bitch about how slow it is, I'd talk to my coworkers that'd also be bitching about it. You know, there wasn't much customers in retail at that point. I would listen to corporate politics. You know, I had to like suck up to get the schedule I wanted, and I was in that reality. I agreed to that. We all have agreements. Of things in our life that we've agreed to. Even if it might be kind of hard to realize it, it's important to recognize that we've agreed to it. Even if it's a 9-to-5 job we don't like. So one of the things that I'd like you guys to become aware of is you're becoming aware of in the next 3 days, the identity, the way you have been showing up in the world, the stories, the labels, the energies that you've been embodying. And as you become aware of it, it is not necessary that the main focus is on shifting into a new identity. Okay, I'm this old identity working 9 to 5 job, and yes, I shifted into like a new identity of being a YouTuber, but I'm not even recommending that you guys shift into like a new identity. I'm just recommending you let go of the old one and you activate your heart. That's the key. And when it comes to awareness, there's this saying. How many of you guys have heard of Alan Watts? Awesome. So he has something called the Backwards Law. The Backwards Law, as an example, states that the more you try to control things in your life and the more you have expectation of how things need to be, the more out of control you will feel. The more you want people to like you, The more you try to change yourself so that you get people's approval, the more messed up your energy will feel and the more inauthentic it is and the less people will actually like you because you're not just being yourself. So part of the lessons of this 3-day experience is that you aren't broken. There's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing you need to do. There's nothing you need to even become. This is about just making the choice to be in this moment, to be present. Because when we start trying to control the outcome of shit, we are focused on outcome, we're focused on the future, we're out of the present moment and we're trying to control what we can get over here. If we're dwelling on the past, then we're in the past and we're not here. But you'll find that the more we let go of the need to control things, the need to understand things, And the more we are being in the present moment, the more transformation we create.

So I hope you enjoyed this segment from the recent live event, The Shift Experience. I know it was kind of embarrassing and it was kind of vulnerable for me to share, but I wanted to share this on YouTube with all of you. And I also wanted to let you know that on the journey of spiritual awakening, you are not alone. Look at all the people below that have watched this video, that have liked this video. And it's just a good sign that like we're not alone on this process. And one of the things I wanted to invite you to and let you know of is there's these things I do like once or twice a year. They're called 21-day challenges. And these 21-day challenges are around really transforming ourselves from the inside out. And the next one is from July 1st to the 21st, we're doing the first ever 21-day Confidence Love Challenge. This challenge is all around feeling safe in our own body, safe in our own frame, releasing codependent patterns of like clinging to other people's energy And a lot of it is rooted in releasing the fear, the doubt, the insecurities we have so that in 21 days we can become the most confident version of ourselves. So whenever we do these, they take on a life of their own. We normally have 3,000 to 5,000 people in the group. And what really makes it powerful is the group energy and just the, the fact that we're actually doing things to transform ourselves and not just watching videos passively. So if you wanna join the 21 Day Confidence Love Challenge, now is the best time to do it to get all the bonuses, to get the early bird price and everything. And all you gotta do is go to www.confidencelovechallenge.com and you could sign up there. And also if you've been part of those 21 Day Challenges before, comment below and let other people know how powerful they are so that they can see what they're getting themselves into. And other than that, if you wanna join, you can also just click this right here and I look forward to seeing you on the inside.