When I STOPPED Chasing Validation, Approval and Success THIS happened

Now imagine that this thing right here, you see this, imagine that this represents validation, approval, and success. Now imagine I put it down on the floor and I roll it away. Now what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you. I'm chasing validation, approval, and success, not knowing that that validation, approval, and success already exists within me. And anything that I chase, say I was chasing that thing around, I'm saying that that does not already exist inside myself. So in a way, we're playing this cat and mouse game where almost like if you have a dog and you were to put it like start chasing a dog, the dog thinks you're playing with it and guess what's gonna happen? The dog's gonna keep on running. It's just simply responding to the energy you're putting out. And in the same way, when we talk about validation, approval, and success, it's almost like when we chase it, it, we are implying that that validation, approval, and success isn't within us. And then people are more reluctant to actually give it to us. It's a crazy paradox, but it's almost like people can feel the desperation or they can feel in that, that the person isn't, doesn't feel worthy already. So then they have more blocks and resistances towards giving that person validation, approval, and success. And I'll tell you right now, when I stopped chasing it, I just naturally had it. I started getting that which I craved for so long. In this video, I'm gonna show you exactly why I did that, how I did that, and probably the biggest epiphany that I've had this year that has completely transformed my life, allowed me to feel 100% worthy, whole, and complete, and as a result, attract more of what I want in my life and having people really respond to me in this completely new way. So with that being said, let's get into this video right now. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron Miguel, or Aaron, and I help people expand their consciousness. And in this video, I'm going to show you how to stop chasing validation, approval, and success. Now, okay, I'll be honest with you guys. You guys have probably heard me talk about this before. My first 3 years on YouTube, I think that what drove me the most was a feeling of significance. Okay, for part of this is like, okay, this is what I'm passionate about doing. I wanna add value to people. But on the other side of this, there was a desire for me to feel valuable. Like the more value I add out into the world, the more valuable I am, the more people are gonna love me. And for years that drove me. And what I found is that after I started developing an online audience, I started always thinking of like, what is gonna get the most views? What is gonna get the most like validation from people? And the funny thing is that when I would have that frame, I know people could feel that there was that desperate energy and those videos wouldn't do as well. And not only that though, I've realized it's almost like when I got the YouTube Play Button recently, we hit a million subscribers on YouTube. And when I got that, you know, I went to bed every single night visualizing for like 2 years getting that gold play button. That was like a symbol to me that, oh, you know, your goal was a million on YouTube and you finally got it. And I remember receiving it and almost feeling a little bit, in a way, shameful because I realized that significance drove me for so long. And significance is like a dirty high. I even wrote it right here in red marker just to emphasize the severity of it. But you can see it says dirty It's a dirty high. Validation, approval, and success, it's literally a dirty high. And the funny thing is, is a lot of people are chasing it. And the problem with chasing is when you're chasing validation, approval, or success, you're implying that it's some future reality that you're gonna get it. So it robs you of being happy in the present moment. And what I've learned is now that I've given up the chase for validation, approval, and success, and it's not what you think it is as well. Many of you may think that like becoming well-known on YouTube or on a TV show or something like that and getting people that come up to you and they're like, oh hey, I see, I know you from this, or you know, from that, you would think, oh, like that's going to be the best feeling in the world. I remember when I first got on YouTube and I got to 100,000, got the silver play button. I remember thinking that like this fantasy in the mind, oh, when I go to the gym, people are going to start recognizing me. Like they're just gonna start coming up to me. And I remember hitting 100,000, going to the gym and I'm like, like looking around, like waiting for people to start like noticing. And only until probably like the last like year, I'd say that it happens much more often just because obviously it's much more than that 100,000. But it's not what you think. We have all these fantasies in the mind of what it would be like. And by the time you get where the fantasy and the glamorization in the mind you think it's gonna be. It's just natural and normal. When I especially been in Sedona, like I see spirits, like because a lot of spiritual people go to Sedona, I meet people all the time that recognize me from YouTube videos. And I used to think that back in the day, that's gonna be so like the most high, like, you know, real cool. But it was just a significance high that I was after, that I was looking for. And now it's just normal. I love meeting people, but at the same time, I've realized it's not what the mind projected it out to be. By the time you reach your goal, by the time you, whatever the goal is, whether it's driven by validation and approval or success or whatever, it will be natural for you. It's only in the identity right now that's putting it on a pedestal and giving it a lot of importance. But by the time it comes, it won't be that way the mind projects it to be. I say that from experience. Now, here's the thing. Now, I've done this before and I found, now imagine that you're chasing validation, approval or success. You're saying, I want. It's just a little stick right there. It shows his— this shows that his feet are moving. Okay. And basically it's just implying that these things are outside of us and if they're outside of us, then we're not embodying them in the present moment. And I'll get to how you change these. How you change these is it's powerful and it's actually very simple, but it's, it's understanding a couple concepts first of, uh, of, of how this works. Now, first off, fishing for compliments. I know, uh, I remember recently I got my hair different, you know, my hair was growing out and stuff. I've been growing out for a while. I remember after getting it done and just, I remember even going on Instagram Live and in a way I could tell that I was fishing for compliments. I was fishing to see what people would say now that I have a new haircut. And I realized that when I was fishing for compliments and I was like looking for the compliments, I would not see them even though some of them were there. But, um, When I let go of it completely is when it started coming. And I had to become aware of the ego. A lot of the chasing of validation, approval, and success, I think is related to how we felt worthy or not worthy growing up. Did our parents not validate us or did we get in trouble for things or did we become people pleasers or parent pleasers? And if so, then we find that we externalize our own happiness and we don't feel good enough already. And I think part of me, you know, that was getting in there looking for the compliments, in a way what that does is when you're looking for people to give you something, it's manipulation, it's taking. Control equals manipulation, they resist. What happens is I've realized this even in my own relationships, even in past love relationships, the more that I craved their validation, approval, them being a certain way, I thought, oh, this is just, I put it out there, that's what I want. Remember, if you want it, you're resisting it and you're also putting out an energy that says you lack it and they are responding to your own energy field. So what happened is I would, is in a way, not even knowing it, trying to manipulate my girlfriends in the past, trying to manipulate them to give me some type of love and approval and they could feel that subconsciously. They may not have been consciously aware of this, but they would feel that and then they'd be reluctant to give that validation, approval, support, whatever it is, because why? People don't wanna be manipulated. And if they feel some type of resistance, they put walls up or they block it out. And this I've noticed. Here's another example. I used to work at Barney's New York in women's shoes. And before that I worked at Nordstrom's. I would greet on average probably 50 to 100 people a day. They're walking through department, I sell women's shoes, I'm wearing a suit, like, "Hey, how are you?" I say like, "Hi, welcome to Barney's New York. We have shoes galore, $1,200 each, it's a deal." And what would happen is if I was attached to the outcome or seeking their validation or seeking for them to say hi in a nice way back, it was resistant and a lot of times I wouldn't get best responses. But if I would say, Hey, how you doing? And there was no hook at the end of it that was like, oh, do you like me? Oh, give me significance, make me feel approval and validated. If I let go of the outcome and I didn't care one way or the other whether they even responded to me, they would respond in such nice ways and they would like ask me how my day was going. It was crazy because otherwise I'm trying to manipulate. When I was selling women's shoes, it was like I wanted things to go a certain way. The more I'd control, the more resistance I'd feel and the more they would rebel against buying something, against being nice and validating or whatever it is, giving approval. That one of the best things that I had growing up or that, you know, when I was younger was that sales commission job. They, customers would immediately give you feedback to your energy. The more I let go, the more that came in. That was the key. If I was greeting someone and not attached to the outcome, not trying to control, I'm okay if they respond, I'm okay if they don't respond, then guess what? It's a different response. So it's that they're gonna feel that, they're gonna feel that freedom, and then you can allow them to actually give you what you want because they're making the choice to give it to you, not because you're trying to take it from them. It's a weird energy dynamic, but it's one of the most powerful insights I've had this year. I no longer control past, or like past relationships, current relationships, friendships. I don't try to control people to be a certain way. And by letting that go, it's like they just naturally do it. It is an amazing thing. Now, another thing with chasing validation, approval, and success is a side effect of that is you end up being someone you're not with the hopes that someone's gonna like you and you're not being yourself. But instead, if you just give yourself permission to be yourself, you're gonna find that people respond to you different, even if they don't agree with you. When I first got on YouTube, I was afraid of making like starseed videos and like really esoteric videos. And I would just keep myself in this little law of attraction box because that's what people knew me as. Once I let go of that and I gave myself permission to be myself, I polarized people. Not everyone likes me. I have a lot of energy. I talk about esoteric stuff that not everybody agrees with, and I totally accept that a lot of people are gonna not like me, and a lot of people may like me. I'm okay either way, but that gives me more permission to just be myself, to be a flexible little noodle and do what I want to do, even move my hands a lot. Okay, some people watch my videos like, oh, this guy moves his hands a lot, and they'll comment and be like, why do you move your hands so much? Why do you talk so loud? Why are you yelling at the camera? Why do you look at this way? What do you do this way? I just do me. Some people may like it, some people may not like it, but I'm okay with that. In the back in the day, I was attached to what you thought. Oh, please like me. And guess what? I created a mother crapload of resistance. But now I let go. You probably feel it. Can't you feel it's different? I'm okay if you like me. I'm okay if you don't like me. I like you, but I'm not attached to one way or the other because I'm being most apologetically myself. The other thing is make it MF natural. Can't know what I could say on YouTube anymore. The other thing at the beginning of the year that happened, I'm now calling it he who must not be named, like Voldemort, because I'm a huge I'm a huge Harry Potter fan. Okay, anyways, make it natural. Okay, if we, like when you get around, like even my buddy Drew, for example, my buddy Drew, the house together in Sedona, amazing guy, one of my best friends, and he's super successful. Literally, he owns a $100 million company, over $100 million company. And I remember sometimes I'll be around him and I sometimes question like, like my own sense of worthiness. And he's such a bold character that sometimes it makes me like I fall into a different frame. But what I've realized is letting go of the desire to be liked or being a people pleaser or being a nice guy. And as I've been more myself, there's almost, there's more respect there. It's interesting how that works. And he's kind of, you know, he's helped me 'cause he used to have a similar complex of, And he said that he's had to completely let that go. And he's so unapologetically himself, but it's always a good sign because sometimes I'll question my own worthiness being around such high-level people. You know, I've met some pretty cool people now that I do what I do. So anyways, yeah. Now how do you like, how do you change this? Okay. What, okay. The solution is not to chase validation, love, and success. So what do you do instead? It's about becoming aware of the agreements and the reasons why you're not worthy and then just letting them go. In the past, we've made certain agreements. Many of us have the agreement that we need approval, so we're looking for approval from other people. Why? Because when we were kids, we needed approval from our parents. Oh, I'm gonna go do this. Is that okay, Mom? I'm gonna go do this. Is that okay, Dad? And then what happens is we're always on this edge of like thinking to ourselves, is it okay? Am I allowed? If you let go of the need for approval by realizing you're an adult now, You're a big boy or a big girl. You could do whatever you want and you will reap the benefits or the pain of it, but it's your choice to decide. You don't need people's approval anymore the way that you used to when you were a kid. That's one agreement that will keep you chasing validation, approval, and success. The other one is comparison, comparing yourself to other people. And this is something that I did even when I'm, you know, getting on YouTube and the more I compare myself, the more I felt, you know, there's different levels to it because now that I'm more successful, I compare myself to other people that are already very successful and it just becomes a, there's always different levels to it. And when you get to, you know, I remember getting to 100,000 on YouTube thinking, oh, this could feel amazing. And then once you get there, the mind says, what about 200,000? And it always just goes up. You compare yourself differently. That's a trap though. And I'll tell you from experience, if you can, Instead, bring it within yourself and enjoy the process. The more I make this about the process, the more I enjoy it. The more I enjoy it, the better results come. So make it more about the process rather than comparing yourself to other people. Compare yourself just to the best version of you. Like Michael Jordan's famous quote or whatever, "I don't compete with the person on the court, I compete with myself." You know, it's a witty quote, but it's like, that's the key is becoming the best version of you and dedicating yourself to that. And then becoming aware of the childhood experiences and the reasons to why you're not worthy. That's the key. Why would you believe that you're not worthy? One way of looking at this that I've heard Bashar talk about before is think about it like this. The universe does not make mistakes. Everything in our reality has a purpose. The grass, the trees, and the oxygen and the water and this beautiful yin-yang thing. It all has a purpose, and that means that you have a purpose. And creation does not make mistakes. If you exist, you are worthy. That's it. You don't need other— any other reason. You don't exist if you get validation, if you get approval, if your mama or your dada says something about you. You exist, therefore you're worthy. That's it. Creation does not make mistakes. And if you think that you are not worthy, you are saying that everything in reality has a purpose, everything in reality that exists is worthy but me. And that's significance. And that's inflating the ego. You are worthy because you exist. Period. Dot. End of story. That's it for this video. Okay. No, but for real, it's pretty much— this video is over. So if you like this video, could you like it? Let me know what you think. There's a meditation for feeling 100% worthy, whole and complete. Listen to that meditation for 21 days. Read the comments, see what's possible. I hope you guys enjoyed this video. I'll talk to you guys later. Peace, much love, and namaste.