When you DETACH and LET GO, your reality shifts...

The moment you stop needing to control is the moment you become free. It's the moment you become more in your own frame of reality and you detach from resistance. I've attracted this specific reflection in my life recently that has had a complete shift in my energy, and I wanna share with you how you can apply it in your own life as well. Now, there's a pattern I've recognized in my own life when it comes to authority figures specifically, and even more specifically than that, it's like I can tell that I am actually projecting onto authority figures the fear or the need to protect my energy because of certain energies of my past. Now, specifically what I'm talking about is a pattern I'd become aware of in the dynamic of renting homes. So over the last 7 or 8 years since I've become successful on YouTube, I've been through different places I've lived, and one consistent pattern I noticed is that I would attract landlords that were very hard to please, a little neurotic, and controlling. In Vegas, I had this landlord that was this guy who was completely unreasonable. It was this guy that was, I moved into the house and within 1 or 2 weeks of being in this house, it was a very nice luxurious house. It was, I loved being in it. However, within 1 or 2 weeks of being in it, the oven didn't work. Like I literally went to use the oven for the first time and it did not work. And I let the landlord know, "Hey, the oven's not working." And he said, "Okay, that'll be a $500 charge to have someone come out there to fix it." And I'm like, "I don't own the house. That's not how it works." And there was like, I had to fight this guy to get him to fix something that never worked by the first time I even got there. I thought, this is interesting. And then throughout the year that I lived there, There was another situation that happened where a broken pipe— there was a pool, there was a broken pipe, and the water bill went from a couple hundred bucks a month, which is still a lot. It was a bigger house in Vegas. That's even $200 or $300 is a lot for a water bill in Vegas. It went up to $2,000 in one month for the water bill. And I told him, and I said, this is $2,000, like, you need to get the "this pipe fixed," and he's like, "I'm gonna sell the house soon." He was trying to not fix the pipe. So I am, in the meantime, meant to be spending $2,000 a month on a water bill? That didn't feel fair. Even until when I finally got out of the house, it kind of resolved in this way that was not very, not very, it wasn't a pleasant way that that dynamic ended. Now I was kind of aware of that authority figure and that energy. I'm like, what is that pattern? And it's happened 2 or 3 other times in different ways where the story is, this is not fair. There was an authority figure that also I feel like I'm almost walking on eggshells around. And there's this desire to express what I think is true and real, but also a fear that if I do, I'm gonna get in trouble. Well, interestingly enough, I just moved out of a house coming to LA. I live in LA now, and I was living in and renting a house in Austin, Texas. And the person I was renting the house from in Austin, Texas, extremely detail-oriented, extremely neurotic, extremely worried that something was gonna go wrong with this house. And I knew it was a red flag when, First off, when I met the person, I could tell there was like a neurotic tendency there. She was kind of worried that like, are you gonna treat the house well? And that's always been kind of a thing where I'm like, no, I'm not. I look younger, so maybe, or I look like, I don't know, I'd be partying or something. I'm like, no, I just work and I make videos and I travel. And I'm one single guy that was living in this, like, not trying to brag here, but I was single, one guy, no pets or animals living in a 4,000 square foot house. And I was traveling good part of the year. So it shouldn't be much problems, right, with this house and moving out of this house. And there's also a very large security deposit that I put on this house. Well, one of the red flags was when I was leaving this house, there were, or not even leaving this house, when I was there, the cleaner that I had used to clean the house was also the cleaner that the person that owned the house would use. She was a wonderful lady and she would bring a team and clean the house. And she was so like worried, like, yeah, Jessica is this way about the house. I don't wanna, she was, I could tell by the way people were responding that she's very hard to please. And so much so that even when I was getting ready to move outta the house, I wanted this lady to do the deep cleaning. And she's like, I won't deep clean because whatever I do won't be good enough for Miss Jessica. And what I found interesting about that is like, oh, that's kind of a red flag. It means there's, it means she's very hard to please. And then I'm thinking, what's gonna happen to my security deposit? Is this gonna be something that's hard to get back? And I did everything I could when I moved out of this house. I'm talking, I spent $1,000 for a cleaning just to get deep cleaned the house. I had a handyman come and like patch up where the art was and stuff like that. And the house was furnished when I moved in and I moved some of the furniture into storage and then moved it back. But there was little, like if one little basket was missing, was gonna get charged for that. And I get a message yesterday, now it's been a month since I've been out, with just a list, this long list of things that I have to do or should have done that I didn't do that's going to go against the security deposit. And in this energy, in this reflection, what I realized is this energy of injustice that I felt, 'cause I felt like I did everything I possibly could, Even on this note, there was something that said something about like batteries missing in remote in one of the rooms. And by the way, I left a $500 freezer, a chest freezer that I had professionally cleaned for them in the garage. And I left Apple TVs. I left a whole bunch of random things that I thought added value, but yet there's something on the list that says batteries were not exchanged in one of the rooms. And I'm thinking, Wow, how detail-oriented can you be? And it's this really, really, really, really long list. And then at the part at the top of the email, it says part 1. It says part 1. And I'm talking to my assistant. I have an assistant that helps me with these things. And I'm like, what is going on here? Part 1? What the hell's gonna be in part 2? And it was this reflection for me where I realized that there is this pattern around authority figures around feeling like things aren't fair, and also around where I felt the whole time I lived there, I felt like I was kind of, anytime I needed something, I felt like I was walking on eggshells. Don't want her to get mad. Even this woman's husband is like, I could tell, 'cause I would work with her husband. She's kind of like the alpha in the relationship, I could tell. Her husband though, I could tell also was kind of like, oh, I don't wanna displease Jessica, I don't wanna displease her, I don't wanna displease her. And I'm like thinking to myself, what, like man up, like what are you talking about? And it was this energy where I realized, wait, in some similar way, I'm like thinking I'm gonna get in trouble, I'm gonna have money held over me. And there's this pattern though that I've realized that on one hand, there's two different levels to this when it comes to control and that here's the breakthrough that I believe there is. Now, when I got this email, there was an initial response that I had of feeling triggered, of feeling like, injustice, I gotta fight. And what I realized I had a pattern of is on one hand, I either become a rebel and I'm like, screw this, this is injustice, this isn't fair. Or on the other hand, I become passive. I'm like, whatever, it's like, what can I do? It's kind of like these two different levels. And what I've realized is that there's this authority around authority. There's this subconscious belief I have that I need to fight for my freedom, that things aren't fair, and that I have to tiptoe around these people that are quote unquote authority in my eyes. Now, of course, let me also say, if you know my story, then you know in childhood I had an authority figure that was very controlling and manipulative where things weren't fair, where I did have to tiptoe around this person in order to get my needs met or just to basically to survive. So in an interesting way, the way that I become aware of this in my own life now is that there's a breakthrough here that is possible. And part of the breakthrough has to do with surrender, not in a passive way. There's a difference between surrender and being passive. Being passive is where you remain unconscious to the patterns. It's where you're just avoiding the issues. It's where you're not standing up for yourself, and it's where you're just letting things be because you'd rather not deal with it. Sometimes I think of the way, I remember talking to my dad about him dealing with certain things 'cause he'd have to deal with the controlling dynamic of someone, and he'd say, I just don't wanna deal with it. I just don't wanna deal with it. And it was always this energy where, I could tell that was more, it wasn't just surrender. Surrender is when you're surrendered to the outcome, but you focus on being authentic because it's who you are and you're gonna remain in your power. So part of the breakthrough here for me is understanding that there's this pattern. There's this pattern of awareness that I have where when I lived in Vegas years ago, I had a controlling landlord that was very hard to please. And then now in the same way, there's this controlling landlord that's hard to please that I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around. And also what it's allowing me to become aware of is why am I projecting this power dynamic onto this person? Why am I giving them power, letting them deem it as fair as this is not fair. There's a story there. I had to take ownership of this story. I have to take ownership of my own power and I have to understand that surrender is surrendering to the outcome, not of trying to control them, not of trying to control her to be fair, but surrendering to understanding that I don't have to let my emotional state feel powerless because of it. So the key here is me understanding that I get to choose where I put my energy. I get to choose what I emotionally respond to. And when I woke up this morning, it's still kind of unresolved, in the sense that like we're going back and forth and we had to send this like, we had to send this like 20-bullet email list that responded to every little thing and it's just kind of annoying. However, there's this surrender to where even if, even if the whole amount of the security deposit doesn't come back, there's this surrender to whatever's meant to happen will happen in the sense that it's not gonna affect my emotional state. I will express If something comes up like, listen, this doesn't add up, this isn't appropriate, this doesn't feel fair, there's not a fear around expressing that, but the surrender is to the outcome. So the key is me being vulnerable and expressing what I think and what's authentic, being in my own frame, but also not infusing superiority or inferiority into the equation. This is where a lot of the breakthrough is for me. It's realizing that part of the energy and part of the reason this is in my life is for me to look at my stories around authority figures, look at my stories around power dynamics, and for me to ask myself the question, do I still want to live within the confinements of this power dynamic? Now what I can also tell, if I'm being honest with myself, what triggers me about the situation is that I can also see myself in this dynamic. It's very hard to admit this, but it's true. There are ways that I control myself. There are ways I may control certain aspects of my business that are micromanaging energies similar to what triggers me about the authority figures of this, of these landlords. and what I realized is that maybe there's also a projection here at the same time. So on one hand, there is an experience that I'm experiencing, but maybe also the stories are a projection that don't have to have such emotional charge, but they do have emotional charge because it's unresolved energy from the past. I had another experience where I let go of someone that was in my life about a month or a couple months ago. And there was a reintroduction. This person kind of in a way needed something from me and after months reached out to me again. And I could tell first off that there was this initial reaction where all this guilt or all this emotion, I have to deal with this person again, I have to deal with this person again. And I realized that that very much is a powerless dynamic. Like they have my power, like I have to give it up to them. And what I realized after I was getting the reflection of this person is what I did is I just stood in my power and I expressed what was authentic and I reset the boundary and it was no big deal. It wasn't nearly as big of a deal as my mind was making it to reestablish the boundary and to stay in my own frame. But the story there was what was causing it to be much bigger than it was. So what I am allowing all of these situations to also do for me is to show me that I am a new version of myself because I am not emotionally swayed. I am not giving away my power or infusing superiority or inferiority onto the situation anymore. Yes, emotions may come up, but I process it and I own it. And then I realize, you know what? I'm gonna be okay either way. I'm gonna let it go. So it's really about a dynamic of understanding why are controlling people in your life? What are they reflecting back to you? Is it familiar? Is it a familiar power dynamic to childhood? And is it time that maybe you take your power back and you own the story, you own the emotion, and you let go in the form of surrender, surrendering the outcome. It is not your job to walk on eggshells around people in your life, but it will feel like it if that's been familiar to the past. Maybe there's only a feeling of safety if you're doing that, if you have someone in your life that is that controlling dynamic. And it's kind of like whack-a-mole where unless you deal with it now, it'll keep popping up in other areas of your life. So why not take the breakthrough now? Maybe the breakthrough is for you to set a boundary. Maybe the breakthrough is for you to express what priorly you thought you'd get rejected or in trouble for expressing. Maybe it's the power of not feeling that it's your job to mitigate the tension of someone else. Maybe it's your job to just surrender the attachment to the outcome or the other person's perspective, and maybe it's time to be in your own frame of reality. But ultimately, the funny paradox of the whole thing is the more you need to control, the more out of control you'll feel. The less you need to control, the more you will trust, and the more you will find things work out for you anyways. Control infuses resistance. And in a similar way, me having the demand that you as the landlord should not be controlling is me controlling the perception of the landlord. And it's also me controlling and staying attached to a familiar childhood dynamic from the past. So the funny thing is, is the things that we get the most triggered for from other people are the things that are unprocessed or unconscious inside of ourselves. Like I said, this is not easy to look at, but it is where all the freedom comes. Do you want to be free, or do you want to be right? It's a very interesting question to ask. You can be right about power dynamics. You can be right that people in your life might be a specific way because it feels familiar to the past. You might be right, but sometimes we desire being right over being free. Sometimes we desire to be right over being happy. And what I'm saying is I'm willing to look at myself and I'm willing to look at the situation to say, where is my breakthrough? Where is my breakthrough here? What part of myself has been unintegrated? Where can I own my story? Where can I own the power here and not continue to give away my power? I do not have to be emotionally swayed by someone else who's daring to— that's dangling a security deposit over my head. I can choose whether I jump for it or whether I just stand in my power. I don't have to play that game. I can express what I think is right. And by living according to those ideals, I feel more in integrity. So what if the key to this is you really also tapping into your own integrity, tapping into how you choose to show up, tapping into a commitment to the expression of how you feel, of how you think, of where your boundary is. Because it's in your life for a reason. And until you become aware of that, and until you process that and you integrate it, you'll continue like whack-a-mole to attract other controlling people into your life. Other, for me to be other landlords or authority figures. And the other thing I realized, by the way, all because someone owns a house and is renting it to me, they don't have to be an authority figure. I don't have to see them as better than me. Interesting. There's this power dynamic that gets infused into the situation. Not saying this to brag, but I also own houses that people rent. I don't act that way with the people that rent the houses, but I can't control the situation, expect everyone else to be just like me. At the same time, I own other houses. You know, it's not like you need to power dynamic. You need to be able to like compare to say, yeah, tit for tat, we're the same level. But I realized I was playing small. I was infusing inferiority into the thing. The truth is everyone's on the same equal playing field. We just infuse superiority or inferiority into the situation because the power dynamic may feel familiar. So my question to you today is, where is your breakthrough? Is it in surrender? Is it in letting go of control? Is it letting go of the outcome of how people respond, realizing it's not your tension to manage? Is it in the assertion of your boundaries? Is it in the expression of your power? Is it in the decision to be responsive but not reactive? Is it in your decision to observe what is happening rather than react? Where is your opportunity to take your power back? Because that is the key to freedom. Now, by the way, if you want a course on what is called the frame technique, there is a section in what is called High Vibe 101. It's my $1,000 course for free. That you can go through to elevate your vibration to the next level in a practical, non-woo-woo way. There are guided meditations and processes that help you do so. There's a, there's a section there called the Frame Technique that will show you step by step how to be in your own frame, how to not feel guilty, how to release this energy. You can check it out by clicking the link below. And then also, if you do want a meditation to help you let go, to help you get into your own frame of reality, the Frame Technique is one of the most powerful meditations I've ever found. You can check it out right here. Welcome to the Frame Technique meditation and activation.