why do people pleasers attract narcissists?
In this self‑help monologue, Aaron Doughty explains why individuals who habitually people‑please tend to draw narcissistic partners. He argues that people‑pleasers seek safety, validation, and approval, and that their energetic "vibrational resonance" can attract narcissists who are inherently difficult to satisfy. This creates a repeating pattern where the people‑pleaser attempts to please an un‑pleasable narcissist, leading to frustration. Doughty suggests the lesson is to either establish firm boundaries or cease people‑pleasing altogether, recognizing that the underlying drive is a need for validation. He also links this dynamic to childhood experiences, noting that many people‑pleasers and empaths grew up mitigating family tension, which predisposes them to attract relationships that surface suppressed emotional energy for further learning.
