Why Everything Comes to YOU when you "Give Up"

When you decrease the level of importance you give something, you increase your ability to receive that thing. Think about this. Anything you make really, really important, you create resistance around. You put it on a pedestal and you tell reality, this is not equal to my identity. Do you see? Like if you put a person on a pedestal, what happens? It's really important that they respond to you. It's really important they like you. You have just increased that importance and you've decreased the ability for you to receive that thing. Think about that. Your life will change when you become aware of what I'm sharing with you right now. You don't want your goals and the things you want to be important and on a pedestal. That creates attachment, which also creates resistance. When you let it be natural for you, you increase the ability of you actually receiving that thing. Now it's like when I share And I talk about like this video, for example, which of course I am on Instagram. And normally when I start these Instagram Lives, there's this pressure around the very first hook, which means the very first thing I say is gonna be what 50,000+ people see and whether they watch the video or not. Now here's the thing, when I do these Instagram Lives, it takes me like 2, 3 minutes to get into a flow state. So even if the live is the most epic, fun live I've ever done and people are like, please don't delete the live, Aaron, please have the replay up, I love it so much, most people won't see it unless the hook is good. Does this make sense? So what happens is that hook has importance. That hook has importance. And then I created this cringy energy where I'm like, "This video, letting go." Like it's pressure. Now, the funny thing is that when it's the best is when I'm the least attached and I don't care. Aaron, you can just go Instagram Live. But if I go on Instagram Live and I say, "Okay guys, I'm waiting for people to come in here." I don't know, maybe it's a limiting belief and that would just get like freaking 100,000 views. I don't know. but then why am I even attached to views to begin with? Well, I guess I want my value, my time to be valuable. I wanna impact people. You become aware of all these ego desires, which are the ego's ability and desire to control reality. That make sense? So basically what are areas? Let's look at a couple examples. Comment, an area of your life that you're making really important. I'm gonna roast it. Not gonna roast you. I'll roast the importance you give to some area of your life. Okay? So you just comment it. Comment it. All right. So we've got a couple different examples. One is finances. People do that a lot. Education, finding work, relationships. You know, anytime you're attached to the outcome of some type of like dynamic and relationship, what happens? You increase the importance you give to a certain relationship or a certain thing you want from a relationship, you decrease your ability to receive that thing. Because what you're saying is this thing is not equal to my identity. Like if you were to put something on the stairs right here and then you're looking up at it, it's then looking down at you. I'm talking about energy here. And that's what happens a lot of times with importance. Anything you make important, like for example, one time is people said jobs, finances. I remember one time I went to a job interview with a friend who dragged me along. This is back in the day when I first got, I got the job at Nordstrom Rack where I worked for a few years before I transferred to the full-line Nordstroms because I knew that at the full-line Nordstroms I would make like $20 to $40 an hour in commission. So I knew I wanted that job. Well, at the time, a friend of mine said, would you, it was my best friend that I hang out with all the time. He's like, let's go to, let's come to this job interview and then we'll go get lunch. We're like, all right, it was a group interview. I'm like, why not? So I applied at Zappos before Zappos blew up. So I go to Zappos job interview, I go into this place. There is that of like porta subs was like, was like given as like catered to all the people that worked there. There was a sleeping room, there was like foosball table, there was like party streamers everywhere. And I go into this office, I'm like, oh, this is cool. but I knew I didn't wanna work there. I didn't care, there was no importance because I'm like, I already got my job at Nordstrom Rack. So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna have fun with this. So you wanna know what I did? When they were, there was like this speed interviews where like there were these people that worked at Zappos that were doing speed interviews. I was like, I'm just gonna be as weird. They said they liked weird people and I'm like, well, I'm pretty freaking weird. I'm just gonna be as weird as possible. I'm just gonna really show weirdness. I would exaggerate weirdness too. So what happened is I was like, I didn't care if I had that job. So what happens is they're asking questions. They're like, what do you like to do in your free time? And I'm like, I like jump rope. Have you ever jump roped? I was like, I like jump rope and hopscotch. Sometimes I do hopscotch tournaments in my neighborhood and I get all the, I get a whole bunch of people and we do like betting. Like I just made this fricking thing up just, just cause I was like, killing time, having fun. And I was just having fun with it, just kind of joking around and just going on rants about how I like jump rope and hot scotch. And I— and what ended up— you guys want to know what ended up happening? I was just being ridiculous. What do you think happened? He challenged me to a jump rope competition on the spot. I don't know how to jump rope. I'm just kidding. I do know how to jump rope and I would have beat him. Okay. What ended up happening is I got the job, like I got the callback to get the job and I said no. And then my friend who went that wanted the job, who was being, you know, more normal, didn't get the callback. What was the difference in energy there? I was not attached. I didn't even care. I didn't even end up choosing that job. And if I did choose that job, it probably would've been good because it was before Zappos went nuts. Like I would've had shares and those shares would've gone crazy. This is back in 2009 or 2008. This is back in 2008, right after I got outta high school. So do you see the energy of that? When you don't give things importance, they're more likely to happen, okay? The difference was the energy, exactly. Now, what are ways in which you can decrease the level of importance you give something? This is gonna change your life right here. If you apply what I'm about to share with you and you learn this concept, it will completely transform your life. What are ways to decrease importance? Now, in a way, you could say decreasing importance is also like letting go of attachment to outcome. So what are ways in which we can decrease importance? Well, one of them One way to decrease importance is to realize that you are projecting onto the attachment. You are, you are projecting happiness. You are projecting your power onto something else. So if you say, if you say something like, okay, when it comes to importance, if I had this person's approval or validation, or if I got them to like me, then I would feel good about myself. You're literally like giving them a stamp of approval. It's like you're giving them this like piece of paper that says, do you like me or not? And you give them a stamp and you say, hey, can you stamp this for me please? I really hope you do. And you're giving them authority. You are making them the authority. You are an authority where you could like, boop, you could stamp it yourself. But if you didn't know how to, if you weren't taught how to stamp it yourself when you were a kid, you will go around and you will look for other people to stamp your little badge of authority, your little paper that says, do you like me or not? It's like when you're a kid and you see like, this is back in the day before phones were real big. It was like you might send like a little piece of paper. It says, do you like me? Yes or no? And then you pass it, you pass it onto a kid that you have a crush on, and then they look at you and they go, hmm, yes or no? And then you're like, oh, I'm worthy, or no, I'm not worthy. So what happens is if there wasn't that feeling of validation as a kid, you might go around as an adult and go like, hey, look at this paper that I made you. Because an inner child part of yourself didn't feel validated, you're like, look, I asked this myself, do you like me? Check yes, check no. And then what happens is you've given them your power. And then, but here's the thing, whether they check yes or no doesn't have to affect you. You don't have to internalize it. It's only when you don't like or you don't put yes for yourself that then you are attached to what they think. So the reason you've increased the importance of what they think is because you've decreased the importance, because you've decreased like your ability to realize your own validation. Makes sense. So what are ways to decrease the level of importance? One of the main ways is to realize you are projecting You're projecting. You're giving people the paper that says, do you like me, yes or no? You don't have to do that, but you didn't learn as a kid how to check your own box of yes, so now you're looking to everyone else to tell you you're good enough because you've made them the outer authority instead of tuning into the inner authority. You see? What I'm sharing with you right now is a game changer in your life. And let's look at other ways to decrease importance. Decrease importance. First off, recognize your projection. Recognize you are seeing through rose-colored glasses this attachment. This is part of the freedom. Does that make sense? Part of the freedom is recognizing you are projecting. Part of the freedom is realizing you are assuming that that thing is gonna make you happy. And even if you did a little thought experiment, talk about importance, like, you think about importance, think of like, you know how people, they might say, they subconsciously want validation and approval. And by the way, if somebody craves validation and approval, it's because they've settled for it because they've given up on love and connection. Approval and validation is when you feel there was unconditional love as a kid, and if unconditional love wasn't there, you will settle for validation and approval and think that that's what you're worthy of, and then you make your life a game of finding that. You see, it's a game. How can I find that? How can I find that? The only reason you want validation and approval is because it's the ugly stepcousin of love and connection. Now the key is loving and accepting yourself. Also accepting yourself, even validating the inner child that wants to feel validated, loving the inner child that needs. Makes sense? Where was I going with this though? I was talking about, so we talk about attachment and recognizing that we're projecting onto attachment and that that projection is creating a form of resistance. Recognize first off that you are projecting onto it, you are attached to it because you believe that that is going to make you worthy or it's gonna somehow fulfill some need. Make sense? So decreasing the level of importance is so powerful because then you're increasing your ability to receive. You're no longer, like part of this is, that's what I was saying, it's part of the main part of this is recognizing the disillusionment of the attachment. Like when people, when people have trouble letting go of a person, one of the main reasons they have trouble letting go of a person is because they think it's the person that fulfills them, not realizing that that person may be representative of a certain pattern. Does that make sense? It's a pattern. It's not such a, it's not as much as you think. That it's the person, it's the pattern. It's the pattern. But you project onto that. If they would choose you, then I would feel enough. Let's look at people pleasers. How do people pleasers make things important? People pleasers, well, they make, what do people pleasers make important? They make other people's tension, Their sole focus, and they're so focused on decreasing the tension in other people that they take on the tension themselves. Think about that, 'cause people pleasing means pleasing their tension. It's very important, becomes your responsibility to ease their tension. And when it's your responsibility to ease their tension, you then many times will take on that tension because you think it's your job. Does that make sense? And many times the breakthrough for the people pleaser is to of course please themselves, stop abandoning themselves, but it's also to embrace authenticity and vulnerability even if that causes triggers in other people. That make sense? Yeah, so it says, what I need from others is actually what I need for myself. A lot of times what we give to other people, especially over-givers, there's like a part of their own inner child that maybe took on the role of over-giving as a form of control to feel safe. But secretly, if they were to put that energy in themselves, they would begin feeling way more fulfilled. Does that make sense? Somebody asked, how do we know what is projection and what is real? What a question. At my live event recently here in, at my live event recently here in LA, somebody asked that same question. How do I know if it's my intuition or it's my projection? "You wanna know what my answer was? A lot of times you won't know." The fact you're asking the question is good. There are many times where I am becoming aware of certain patterns in my life and where I'm becoming aware that partially certain things are projections and partially it's also true. It can be both. And the thing to become aware of is to be asking yourself that question is powerful in and of itself, but a lot of times they're intermixed. Like I had something that happened with a business friend of mine where there was a decision I wanted to make in the business and the decision I felt very clear on and I expressed this and I knew that that decision that I was making was also partially projection of like past stuff. And at first we didn't really agree, but then I completely let go and I didn't care either way what decision we made. And what happened was once I let go and I didn't care and I decreased the importance of him like understanding, I just let go, then he agreed completely. It was really interesting. I let go of the pressure and he wanted to make sure it wasn't just my projection. But then once he let go of realizing, then he realized, oh, it's actually also, it's a little bit of both. But what was interesting is it was both of them. It was a little, I was aware that in this present, in this experience, it is both projection and it's also based in some truth. And there are times I find myself in situations, by the way, where I do project onto other people. And what I do is I become aware of it and I give myself grace in a way. But the reason I say this is it's gonna be a little bit of both regardless. Like you might have inner child wounding around certain things in relationships. It may partially come up and sometimes your breakthrough when you're projecting or it's coming up in your relationship is acknowledging it, acknowledging it and acknowledge that it's still coming up. And then even if it's a projection, it's still okay having the vulnerability to show it. So I also, project, and then I judge myself for projecting, and then I feel kind of dumb, but then I also accept that part of me that did that because you're always doing the best you can at the level of consciousness you're at. It just, it gets tricky because reality is a reflection of what you believe to be true, and the unprocessed stuff from childhood does get projected out. So it's a little bit of both. That's a great question. When you decrease the importance of something, does it allow you to have more fun? What do you think? If you make something really, really important, it's normally very serious energy. You know how often it happens that people attract love when they stop looking and they stop making it important that they find it? A lot of times also they'll shift into having more fun. Also, these lives that I do, these, these videos that I make, the more fun I have, the better they do, and the more I enjoy making them. It becomes a win-win, win-win-win all the way around. So decreasing importance is decreasing the seriousness and the attachment to outcome. Think about perfectionists. I'm— something must be perfect. Really important attachment to the outcome of some end result, as if there is an end result. When you fall in love with the process, that's a way of decreasing importance. Does that make sense? When you decrease the level of importance, you can have more fun and you enjoy it more. "How to give up control in a relationship because of deep trauma in childhood." So it sounds like you're aware that the control in your relationship is connected to deep trauma in childhood. Normally it is. Because if love, if you just accept that love comes and goes or that love is always there or that it's also like within you, there's less need to control outer reality. But if when you were a kid, something happened in the unknown and then it was like, I must now control what people think, how I feel, et cetera, how you feel. That's people pleasing is even a control mechanism. If you're trying to please other people, it's a mechanism of control that allows you to feel like you're able to turn down the level of tension in other people so you can feel good about yourself and that so you don't feel their energy because their energy feels like your responsibility. It's a control mechanism. So how do you get rid of control mechanisms? You become aware of it first off, and you ask yourself, when did I pick up this mechanism? When did I pick up this ego survival tool? The ego's the one that wants to control. This is why a lot of what I talk about on my channel recently especially is realizing that the ego does not wanna thrive. The ego just wants to survive. What do you think? Just wants to survive. And to survive, it might be in fight or flight. To survive, it may, it's an energy that comes with a lot of pressure. So when you talk here, okay, here's the, if you get anything out of this video, here it is. You ready? You have increased importance in your life because you have increased the power you give to your ego. You made it very important and given so much pressure to your ego to control things in your life. You might even say, I'm going to manifest, I'm going to manifest my dream life. Manifest is a form of control. And the only reason you want to manifest and you want to think about what you want to then feel what you want to then experience what you want is because you love certainty because as a kid, uncertainty wasn't good. It's a way of controlling reality. So you decrease importance around the ego's desire to control when you increase and connect to the divine or God. This insight right here can completely shift your life. It's a game changer. The ego is what wants to control. The ego is what wants to The ego is what wants to control what people think. It wants the same familiar energy. It wants to avoid pain and move towards pleasure. It's the ego. And we grow up in a life where we have this avatar body that we didn't give a whole bunch of power to. And then we say, it's my job. It's my job to control reality, to control what people think, all this stuff, pressure, pressure, pressure. It's important what people think. Let me have a piece of paper that says, do you like me? Yes or no? Here. Let decide whether I'm good enough or not. Remember, true freedom is whether you can have somebody that says they don't like you and you're still okay. You have to let people, like, okay, imagine this. Here's another example of something I shared recently that can completely shift the way that you view this concept. We talk about choosing yourself. You wanna choose yourself or you want other people to choose you? Well, if you give them this little piece of paper like in elementary school that says, do you like me, yes or no? You let them choose yes or no, knowing that if they choose yes or no, it doesn't dictate whether you're good enough or not. You have to let them actually choose no for you to be free. But a lot of people that wanna feel chosen or that don't choose themselves, they demand that other people choose them and they're fighting and trying to prove it. It's like, who do I need to be to get you to put yes? And what happens when somebody wants something from you? When it's a manipulative energy, it's like, you must do this for me. You rebel, you resist because you can feel the threads of control. You see? So one of the most important things to realize What we're talking about right here is realizing you're good either way. You want to talk about true decreasing of importance? Realize you're good either way. You don't need to control reality. You can allow the divine or God to flow through. That's where true power is. Give it up to the divine. Give it up to God. Let these things flow through to you. The more I let go, like I remember back in the day wanting to grow my YouTube channel. Who do I need to be to get lots of views? How do I portray myself? Attachment to outcome, my ego's desire to get people to think a certain way about me. Why? 'Cause then it's like me giving you that note that says, do you like me? Yes or no? You get to decide, but please push yes. Who do I need to be? Maybe if I add a lot of value to you, you'll put yes. But instead, if I let you choose yes or no and I'm not attached, that's a magnetic energy. Then I'm free. I don't care what you choose. I like me. Does that make sense? Yeah, it's allowing God to flow through, allow the divine. That's where the magic is. Yeah. Yeah. Good either way. I'm good either way. I'm not believing that this thing is the end-all be-all to my happiness. I'm not projecting onto it all the importance. And when you decrease the level of importance towards something, you increase the ability for you to receive that thing. Do you have a question? If you have questions about importance, go ahead and ask right now. I'm going to answer a few questions on decreasing level of importance or something that's related to this. Someone says, you should— you said one should trust the unknown, then how can one achieve their goal? How does one do it? So trust in the unknown. You can still have a goal or an intention, but your attachment to believing that the ego is what's doing it is where the shift can happen. If you want a powerful shift, I've shared this analogy before, it'll change your life and you'll think about it for a while, maybe the way that I did, maybe not. But the idea is, can you make a plant grow? You've heard me talk about it a few times. Can you make a plant grow? Some people say, yes, I can. I have a green thumb. Do you really? Can you make it grow? No. You can set the conditions up for it to grow. You can put it in the sun, you can water it, you could do these things, but God makes the plant grow. Your job is to set up the conditions. So how can you set up the conditions for certain goals? How can you take action? How can you learn the skills? How can you choose? It's who you are. How can you embody that energy? Those are things you can do. To trust the unknown will take a leap of faith regardless. It will take a leap of faith regardless because you're letting go of what you know. What you know might be limitation, might be attachment to outcome, might be a lot of resistance, it might be importance. Make sense? Yeah, yeah. Set the intention, leave it, let God Yeah, it's, when I say let go, it doesn't mean just passively sit in your room and think about what you want. Letting go means letting go of outcome and focusing more on the process. It means focusing more on who you are being. It means enjoying the process, having fun. It means pouring the energy back into yourself. Whereas a lot of times you might project it onto other people. That make sense? Someone says it's hard to detach, right? Hard to detach. Is it hard to detach? The ego might be so familiar to attachment that you would create the experience it's hard to detach. How hard is it for me to let go of this little earplug thing? Is it hard? It's easy for me to let it go. But what if I told myself a story that this earplug, if it hits the ground, it's lava? Like imagine, like you think of importance, think of this analogy. You know when you're a kid and you're like, ooh, the carpet is hot lava. Ooh, it's hot lava. If it were really hot lava, You would have so, you'd be walking on the edge of the couch in fear and shaking if it were really hot lava. A lot of importance. But when there's not hot lava, you just freaking walk on your couch, jump on this thing, jump over here, it's no big deal. You walk on the edge of a cliff, it could be a freaking 3 feet long thing that's easy to walk on. But if there's 1,000 feet on each end that goes down, importance, resistance. Part of it's realizing that a lot of our mind is what creates the 1,000-foot drop. Is it really there? That's the hard— it's hard to detach. No. Well, you believe there's a 1,000-foot drop on either side. That's why it's hard to detach. But you become aware that that's projection. You become aware that you're projecting the importance. You become aware also what's your story about attachment. What's your story about your ego's desire to control? What about if you let go and you let God? See, different energy, right? So basically do your karma and don't attach yourself to the outcome. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, recently I was listening to something, someone was talking about karma and how karma's more so related to attachment than anything else, which I resonate with. I think that because we re— I mean, this is a deeper spiritual thing. I believe we reincarnate when we still have desire. And when you start letting go of desire, there's less need to come back over and over again. So when you satisfy those desires, also by realizing that a lot of it's projection, you don't create as much need to learn certain things, to go through those experiences. So I really think letting go and detachment is one of the keys to like spiritual progression. It's my own personal viewpoint on it. So anyways, who's been having fun? Does this one feel a little different than the others because it's not going on Instagram? It'll go on YouTube, it won't go on Instagram, which means I don't care, I don't need retention, I don't need, I don't care about the hook. It don't matter, it don't matter. It don't matter. Also check out the new, the Instagram that I did on disappointment. It's from this new live event from a few days ago. It was pretty cool. I love the camera angles. I love the lighting. Just everything looks so cool. And then it was a cool breakthrough. It's on my Instagram on disappointment. Anyways, other than that, what else do I wanna talk about? Anything else? Not necessarily. We've got the London live event that's coming up September 26th, 27th, 28th. If you want to join, you can comment London or you can DM me London because this is not going out after right now. So, or you see the link in the description box below. The London live event is 26th to 28th. My only European live event. And then I'm gonna be in Europe for like a month, just relaxing, chilling, going to Spain, maybe Norway. Maybe Switzerland, maybe— where else? We'll see. My first time going to Europe. Um, what else? Anything else going on? There's other stuff happening. Um, yeah, then when I come back, I'll probably be doing consistent live events here in LA. I don't know, that's all the updates. Other than that, thank you guys all for being here. This is not going to be— this will come on YouTube eventually, but I ain't going to be here on Instagram. So other than that, I appreciate you guys all being here, and I'll talk to you guys at the next one. If you want to see what happens at my live events when I'm hot seat coaching people to help them decrease the level of importance, one of my most popular videos got over a million views of me helping this woman become aware of the importance she gives to her relationships and what people think and to being the good girl. She completely transforms. You can watch her embrace that energy and go into a whole new version of herself, and you can check this video out right here.