Why EVERYTHING will ATTACH to YOU when you DETACH
In this self‑development monologue, the speaker (Aaron Doughty) explains how the desire for something creates resistance because of the way our personal energy field interacts with universal balancing forces. Drawing on the book Reality Transurfing, he introduces several core ideas: (1) the distinction between "clean" (contained) and "leaky" (out‑flowing) energy and how leaky energy makes us feel unseen and drains us; (2) the law of balancing forces that automatically counteract any excessive importance we assign to a goal, causing the very thing we want to resist us; (3) the concept of "frames" or "slides" – mental filters formed in childhood that colour every experience and attract people and situations that confirm those beliefs; (4) the practice of decreasing importance, i.e., adopting a neutral, non‑attached stance so the universe’s balancing forces no longer block the desired outcome; (5) entering a flow state, called the "Wave of Fortune" in Transurfing, where we stop trying to control and instead let a higher intelligence (the divine, the universe) guide us. The speaker illustrates each point with personal anecdotes: the stress of managing investment properties he bought years ago, the shift he felt when performing live events after learning to trust the flow, and his recent experience traveling to Paris while consciously rejecting negative stereotypes. Throughout, he urges viewers to become aware of their internal frames, lower the importance they place on outcomes, and focus on aligning their energy field, promising that this internal work will transform life from the inside out. He ends by inviting comments for deeper videos on Reality Transurfing.
Chapters
Why is it that the more we want anything, the more we resist that thing? Why is it that the more we put something on a pedestal and the more important we make anything, the more we actually resist us from realizing or receiving that thing? Now, this all comes down to energy. It comes down to our own energy field and how we relate to ourselves and how we relate to reality. And there's a few concepts that come from this book that I've read called Reality Transurfing that I'm going to be sharing in this video. I'm going to be showing you about these balancing forces that are in reality that literally block us from realizing what we want. And instead, I'm going to show you how to see things as natural for you to experience. Because by the time you experience that loving relationship, by the time you experience that next level of abundance, if it's really, really awesome and really, really on a pedestal, it's really, really out of reach. And by the time you become the person where it's natural for you to be in a relationship, by the time you become a person where it's natural to have the next level of abundance or money in your life, it won't be this really, really amazing thing on a pedestal. It'll be natural for your identity. And in this video, I'm going to show you step by step how you can apply these different concepts. And I'm gonna be sharing something that has to do with understanding your frames of reality. We all have a frame of reality that we see life through. And some of our core frames might come from childhood. And we will find people in our life and experiences in our life to reflect that energy back until we become aware that we're the ones with the frame. I'm going to show you how to become aware of your frames of reality, and instead of believing you need to control life, instead of believing things aren't fair, you're not clear, whatever else this frame might be, you start to realize that things can be so much easier, so much lighter. Things can be coming to you easier than ever. You'll be good either way with how things happen. So if you want to learn how to use that of balancing forces in reality to assist you in actually receiving that which you want, if you want to learn how to change the frames of reality for how you're viewing life and reality itself, then you're going to learn how in this video, and I believe it will completely transform your life from the inside out. To have clean energy is to have clarity. Not leaky energy. People with leaky energy tend to have their energy pushed out, and what they're subconsciously looking for is they're looking for some form of being seen. They might be pushing their energy out to be acknowledged, and leaky energy just in general tends to be very draining energy to be around. And one of the reasons being is because what's happened is subconsciously someone has pushed their energy out to include more than just where their body is. And the idea is that if I can get somebody else's approval or validation or attention focused on me, then I can somehow feel safe. So one of the biggest things to realize when it comes to energy is that when you have the energy more inside of your body, that's when you're more magnetic. When energy is being pushed out, that actually diffuses your own energy. Does that make sense? Different energy there, right? One other idea that I've been thinking about lately is understanding the power of decreased importance. Just these last couple of days, I've actually been going more into the metaphysical in the sense of I realized that there were certain things in my life that I was feeling resistance towards and certain things that were bubbling up on the external for me to manage and figure out different aspects of my life that I can tell I am— have this tendency to try to control, to try to like, okay, I have to do this to fix this. And while I still believe that, like, using, you know, physical action and all of these other things are powerful, I realized that in some ways I've kind of neglected focusing on my energy as well, like focusing on my field, realizing that like a couple of years ago I made a couple decisions and choices and I kind of took on more of a burden than I needed to with certain things. It includes investment properties that I got and things like that, and it's kind of become a headache to manage. And there's a part of me that's like, I just want to be done with this, right? And there's a part of me that also, when things come up with it, let's say things need to be fixed on the house or stuff like that, there's this triggered energy that gets brought up. And what happens is then there's this trigger and then there's like, I want to be done with it, I want to fix it. I want to control it. And what I realized is it's almost like the trigger that happens from the experience, what I'm realizing, it's also some form of mild, like familiar addiction. So it's almost like I get to be right about reality. It feels familiar to be like, see, this isn't fair. See, not that this isn't fair, but I feel trapped. And I was sitting around with friends the other day that are also like content creators. And we were talking about like patterns in our life. And we were going around in circle and we were sharing, what is your, what is your like main story? Like what is your main story that overlays all different aspects of life? Like a story, I call these frames. If you think about it, like think about it like a frame of reality and you see through this frame of reality and it overlays everything. So if you have a frame from reality that maybe from childhood was decided, it's like one of those kaleidoscope, what are they called? You do the thing and then it's like you see through it in a certain way, but it's like you're seeing through a certain frame. And if your frame was like, one of my friends' frames was like, I'm not clear. She always believes that she's not clear. You know, when it got to me, I realized that my life like frame is like things aren't fair. Fair, things aren't fair, or I feel trapped. And feeling trapped with like a 9 to 5 job I used to have, feeling trapped with like not allowed to have freedom. I need to fight for freedom. And even then I can tell that like part of the benefit of seeing through that frame is you get to generate emotions that are familiar. So what I was becoming aware of is like, whoa, even in this situation where I'm dealing with like some annoying energy from the past based on a past version of me that in a way, like years ago, decided to buy investment properties that have become kind of a headache. What do I get out of that? I still get to feel the familiar emotions of it. I want to be free from this. I want to fight for freedom so that, so what I could try to do is I can try to change the external reality. The challenge is that as I try to change the external reality, it's trying to control, which infuses more resistance, which then also is keeping the energy alive. So if I change it from the external, it's not changing it from the internal. It's not changing it from the energy field, which I know sounds kind of esoteric, but the thing that I get to recognize is like, where in life am I trying to change the external? So what I ended up doing is I ended up calling some people and like trying to change. We need to do this, we need to do this, we need to do this. And while that might be a necessary part of the process of getting the energy to move, I had to also focus more on my energy. I had to focus more on not being right about reality. You see, I get to be right that like things aren't fair, that I feel trapped in this house situation. So ironically enough, it's like I can either change reality from the external by doing, which I'm not saying is something that you need to like completely avoid. I'm not saying don't take action, but doing is one part of it. You can either change from the level of the doing and the control and the resistance, or you can focus on the energy field which is at the core of it. Because what you could do is take lots of action, control, demand, et cetera. But if you don't change the energy field, it's like subconsciously you're going to block it and you're just going to create more resistance. Does this make sense? So this is, this is like a big insight. So that's when also I got more into reading an old book of mine. I like going into some of the concepts, which maybe I'll share more about later. The book called Reality Transurfing. It's funny, I used to make videos on this topic back in the day. And what happens is like friends of mine will read this book and then reach out to me and be like, I saw your YouTube videos on it because there's not a lot of content about this process. And it's always this cool moment because I'm like, oh, now you're getting like kind of caught in this process. But one of the most powerful ideas from this book simply has to do with this idea of decreasing the level of importance you give things. Anything you make very, very important, you put on a pedestal and you energetically block yourself from realizing that thing. Anything you make important, there are balancing factors in our reality that we subconsciously ping off of that block the realization of that thing. Now you could say, is it the universe doing it? It's just, it's just a balanced force in reality. Think about it. The more you want someone to give you a compliment, the more you resist them naturally giving you a compliment. The more you are neutral and not attached, the more you can actually receive. The more you want someone to choose you, And the more that you even demand they choose you, the more they will resist. The more you are completely neutral as to whether they choose you or not, the more likely they are to actually choose you. Because when you think about it in the form of even energetic resonance, energetic resonance, whatever you want, you lack. Whatever you want, you lack. If you want it, you lack it. And this is one of the biggest keys when it comes to shifting your reality. It has to do with realizing that you, if you see it as natural, you are more likely to energetically align with it. So if you're going to see something as natural, what that means is it's not really, really awesome if it happens and it's not really, really horrible if it doesn't happen. You're good either way because you recognize that this thing happening isn't actually the key to eternal happiness. And you realize whether it happens or not, you're good. You're going to be fine. Now, sometimes I'll say this and then what people will say is, okay, I hear you, bro, but I'm going to do this thing so that I can get the result. But if you have an attachment to the outcome and you're trying to, you're still at a means to an end. You're doing it to get what you want. Does that make sense? So a huge shift happens when you realize you instead let it be natural for you. Let it be natural. And there's different ways to what is called decreasing importance. One way you can decrease importance is by I'd say the most powerful way is by allowing the divine to bring it to you by not believing your ego knows best. Because if you think about it from before, if we're saying that if, if we have a frame of reality, bringing it back to what I said earlier, we have a core story that I call a frame. In Reality Transurfing, it's called a slide. Okay? If we have a slide or a frame of reality that we look through that's been on autopilot since childhood. Such as life's not fair, or I'm not clear, or I feel I'm trapped and I need to fight for freedom. If that's our core story, we will look out into reality and find many different people to fight against, to play out those dynamics with. So if that's a frame of reality and it's been on autopilot, we'll continue to recreate it until we realize that we are the ones with the frame. Our beliefs create our reality. Our frames of re— of what we believe to be true are what filter our experience. If out of the 11 to 15 million bits of information around us, we can only perceive of 100 bits per second, you best believe that that frame that you have is what's going to determine what people you bring into your life and what synchronicities and opportunities you bring into your life. All of that is determined by your frame of reality, your frame of what you believe to be true about you. And if you believe you aren't worthy, guess what? You will attract the 100 bits per second out of the 11 to 15 million bits to replay out those dynamics. And then you might say that it's reality doing it, it's God doing it, it's other people doing it to you, but you're getting to feel the emotions that are familiar to that frame of reality. So if you want to have a powerful shift in reality, instead of changing the external, look to your frames or what Reality Transurfing calls slides. And I've realized that some of my slides that have still been on autopilot are old slides from the past childhood where things didn't feel fair and I felt trapped. So guess what? Now I'm in this house situation, a situation where I invested in properties a long time ago and the market's whatever, and it's like I wanna feel trapped with these houses. Similar childhood energy. I get to feel the emotions of this sucks, this isn't fair. What about this? What about that? and I can try to change on the external. I could sell the house, I could do this, I could do that, but I can also realize that I'm the one generating it because the frame of reality I have, this is a perfect excuse for me to feel those emotions. So when I say change your frame of reality, change your life, change your beliefs about you, because if you believe you're not worthy, you will attract people to play those energy dynamics out with. If you believe it's your role to rescue people, you will find people to rescue. If you believe that you're— this is another pattern or another story that I had as being the victim. Victim consciousness is something that I find myself at times putting myself in. See, I feel so overwhelmed with my business. I feel overwhelmed with this. Oh, poor me. I'm the only one that's doing this. I got to generate this. I got to do this. I've got so many people. That rely on me, this energy. And what I realize is that frame of reality is something that I'm perpetuating. The thing with this is that when I realize this, I can then actually change something. If I always make it the external, I have no ability to change anything. I have no ability to integrate anything or to become aware of anything. So what I'm saying is if you really want to transform your life, focus on your frames. Focus on your frame, your frame of what you believe to be true. Think about it like a frame of reality. Click, click, click, click, click. From like those things as a kid that you would look through and you would see different patterns. If you see the pattern of life's not fair, I'm not clear, I sabotage myself, there's a lot of scarcity, or I'm poor, or I'm this or I'm that, that is a frame of reality that that you may believe to be true, but because you believe it to be true, you are projecting it and finding people in life to play that energy dynamic back. So it could be you're not worthy to be in a relationship. It could be you're a people pleaser. Could be many layers of this. But the freedom comes when you realize you are the one projecting the frame. Click, click. When I say, how do you decrease importance? What I'm saying is what if one of the frames of reality is you become aware of the old patterns, you become aware of the ego's desire to control, and what you end up doing is you end up having a frame of reality to where God is the one that's bringing it to you. God is the one that's directing your life. You focus more about getting in a flow state This is the key to everything right here. When you get into a flow state, Reality Transurfing calls this a wave of fortune. When you get into a flow state, you are in an energy where you are not thinking, you are being, you are in alignment with something greater than you. Just like when I get on these Instagram Lives even, and I'm in a flow state right now, ideas are just kind of happening. What am I gonna talk about next? It's just happening. Just like at a live event, when I run live events, have 100-some people in the crowd, they pull information out of me. I just trust. I trust the divine to flow through. I could say, I trust Aaron Doughty and his ideas and all the past experience. Yes, we're a part of our ego, but the thing is, is it's like when we trust, when we have the, like basically what happened back in the day, listen to this. Back in the day, prior to live events, I'd put a lot of pressure to perform well, to look well to everyone else. How do I know the right thing to say? What if I forget what I'm talking about? That was the ego's desire to control, and it would write down all this list of things to talk about, et cetera. That was a frame of reality. Then guess what? I put in repetition, I put in repetition, I put in repetition. I just kept taking action. And guess what ended up happening? Every time I would take action running a live event and trusting God or the universe to flow through, it kept proving to me that I just get into the unknown and allow it to happen and it happens. I don't have to control. The divine flows through. I just get into a flow state. Now, instead of getting nervous before live events, I get excited. I didn't think it was gonna happen this quick. This last London live event I did, I realized that even prior to even just walking on stage, there was zero nerves. Not knowing for 8 hours a day, 3 days in a row what I was gonna talk about, zero nerves. Why? The frame of reality I choose to see through is that God or the universe flows through. I just have to get in a flow state. And for many of you, if you have that frame of reality, you will begin to shift. You'll begin to shift out of the frame of the ego's desire to control, which is also the ego's desire to stay in familiar energy to childhood. And what you end up doing is you end up becoming more free. You see? So those of you asked about the London live event, it already happened. It was like a month, it was like 3 weeks ago. And that was it. I'll come back. I think I'm gonna do an event in Paris. One day. Paris is probably my favorite city in Europe so far. I've only been here a day. I love it. There's something about this place that I thought I was going to like. Ibiza. I did not. I did not really care for Ibiza. Too touristy, too party. I might have just been on the wrong part of the island. Paris, I really like it. And also the frame of reality. Okay, so coming to Paris, Here's some of the notions of what I was told coming to Paris. Paris, you come to Paris, people are mean. That's what people said. They don't like Americans. That's what some people told me. And I came here and I'm just choosing not to see through that frame of reality. And I'm going, I've gone out, I've met some amazing, cool people that are so, so, so nice. Maybe you could say, well, you were at a restaurant and whatever they were like serving you. But like what I'm saying is I don't have to surrender to that. It was the same thing when I first traveled here and I was coming and there was some jet lag and people were like, jet lag sucks. Oh my God, going to Europe, jet lag sucks so bad. And then some people were like, jet lag's all in the mind. Those are different frames of reality. They're different frame and beliefs. So what happened is I came here and I just chose to believe it was gonna be easy. I'm 9 hours ahead of where I've lived my entire life almost in PST or EST or CST. But guess what? It's easy. It was easy because I chose to see it as easy. It's a frame of reality I chose. Same thing coming here. It's like there's an alignment there. The food is incredible. It's like I'm having all these positive experiences. I'm just not choosing to see through the lens of, you know, what some people might say. Not even that with friends told me that. Actually, a lot of my friends said Paris is incredible. But you hear there's like these stereotypes in the collective consciousness, I guess. So basically what I'm saying with this is you can either try to control reality and can try to control people, or instead you can focus on your frames. You could focus on what you believe to be true. And one thing to realize with this is you can either try to control, do the inner child work, heal your childhood patterns, and then you can attract love. Or you can allow the divine to flow through you. You can allow something greater than you to flow through, and your job is to get into a flow state. Your job is to get into love. Your job is to focus on the energy. As Reality Transurfing calls it, the Wave of Fortune, and it's always there for you. It's just, will you allow yourself to open up to it or will you close yourself off to it because it doesn't feel familiar? Does that make sense? Yeah, slides. Exactly. Slides of scarcity and low self-worth. Guess what? Out of the 11 to 15 million bits of information around you, you're more likely to find the 100 bits per second of scarcity and that reflect back low self-worth. What kind of people will you tolerate if you have a low self-worth frame? Which, by the way, I say if you have a low self-worth frame, then you will more likely tolerate toxic relationships, non-reciprocal relationships, et cetera. It's a low self-worth frame. It's not who you are. You think thoughts, but you are not your thoughts. You have beliefs, you're not your beliefs. You might have these frames of reality, which is basically like a thought structure, a belief you bought into, a pattern that maybe from childhood has felt familiar. And now you see through that frame everywhere you go because it feels familiar. And let's be honest, it allows you to feel familiar emotions to the past. You get something out of it. Make no mistake. Lamar says, how do you fix it? How do you fix it? How do you fix it? It's broken. How do you fix it? Well, I'm kind of being sarcastic here. But awareness, when you real— like if you wanna become free, you have to realize you are the one perpetuating it. You have to realize the payoffs you get. You have to realize that you think thoughts, but you're not your thoughts. You have to realize that the frame through which you're seeing reality through might be very familiar to childhood, but it's just a frame. It's not actual only reality. And when you let go of the payoffs you get for being right in that frame, you start to see more. So for me, that means when all of these triggers are coming up towards the house situation with like investment properties that feel burdened, things go wrong with it, things need to be fixed on the house, et cetera. Instead of me getting triggered and be like, oh, I get to feel this familiar emotion, I observe that, I feel it. I'm not bypassing it, I feel it, but I recognize it as an old reality frame. That energy, that resistance keeps me tied to more of that. Instead, I focus on opening. I focus on what I can be grateful for in my life now. I focus on logically doing what I can do to shift the energy, but not getting emotionally pulled into it, dragged into it to where then it's like holding me back because I realize that I need to focus on the field instead of focusing on trying to control the external. It may still mean I do certain things, but it's not that doing is not coming from a level of, I have to get out of this, oh, I'm trapped. It's a doing like, oh, I noticed this, this is what I need to do. There's certain things in the house I need to fix for this one house. And I'm like, it's the right thing to do to fix this house even though I wanna be free of it. So I'm gonna fix it. But I can get emotionally triggered and drained and pity me Ooh. Or I can allow myself to just do what I have to do, but then focus on, dude, I'm grateful to be in the situation in the sense that this can happen and I'm still abundant. This can happen and I still have so many things going in my life well. This has given me the contrast as well. If you believe there's always some good thing that's happening in even situations that appear to be stressful, you literally are like getting a new frame of reality that puts you onto a different timeline. Does this make sense? So things in your life will shift when you begin, one, focusing on your frame, your frames of reality, the beliefs you have about yourself, the beliefs you have about reality. When you focus on your field of energy, the gratitude you prime in your field, either opening or closing, instead of just trying to control the external. And when you focus on allowing God to flow through you, God will flow through you. When you allow yourself to get into a flow state, when you allow yourself to get on what Reality Transurfing calls the Wave of Fortune, these are different energies. And if you want to learn more about Reality Transurfing and some of the concepts that I think will completely transform your life, you can go ahead and comment below. Let me know. I'll make more videos on it and maybe summarize it in one whole video that shows the most powerful ideas. And then also, if you want to check out more about it so that you can see how you can apply it in your life, I do have a video right here that explains it more.
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