Why Letting Go and NOT Wanting is the key to Receiving

The problem is that sometimes we don't wanna let something go because what we think is that if I remain attached to the outcome, if I remain attached to this person, then it means I'm gonna get it. We're afraid that if we let it go, we're gonna lose it. It's a paradox, but it's the opposite way. If you let it go, there's more chance that it actually comes to you. The degree to which you can let go of trying to control outcome The degree to which you can let go is the degree to which you will receive. And a big part of this is letting go of desire, letting go of want, which is completely the antithesis of what they teach you in most law of attraction teachings, in most of that, of the, like the movie, The Secret, We believe there's this underlying notion that, hey, the more I want, the more I get. But it's actually the more you want, the less you get. And you'll find this from experience. Imagine that you really, really want this job that you're going into and you really, really want it. And what you do is you go into the job and you're having the job interview and you're thinking the whole time and you're wanting, you're attached to the outcome. The other person that's interviewing you can feel that desperate energy, can feel how bad you want it, but it also signals to them, well, if he wants it so bad, does he not have, or she not have other options? Does he or she, is this the only basket they're putting their eggs in? And what that does is that is a signal of scarcity. And that's a lot of times what happens anytime we desire this one thing. It means that we are believing the universe does not have the capability to bring us something even more amazing or from even more sources. And when I've gone through this process of creating my dream life, now, Many of you will know that I say this in a lot of videos. You don't always get in life that which you want because also what you want, you resist, and what you want, you are vibrationally saying you lack, but you always get a reflection of who you are being. Now, if we focus on identity, this is what you will find. By the time you make the $50,000, the $100,000, the million dollars, it will feel natural for that identity. It'll be like, oh yeah, of course. But as much as it is on a pedestal and as much as that would be so amazing and so awesome is when there's a vibrational dissonance between it. I remember when I was first going and first learning about making money online, getting on YouTube. And I remember even when I had that 9 to 5 job, man, if I were to have like $10,000 in the bank when I had my 9 to 5 job, I would have had way more than I had because I did not have that when I started going full-time on YouTube or had that 9 to 5 job. The funny thing is, Before, like, this is a good life advice in general, I think. Before you can manage and deal with having $10,000 or $100,000 or $1 million, you have to be able to do that with what you do have. It has to be natural for your identity to manage your own money. Because what I thought was gonna happen, like, if I had the money that I have now, back in my earlier stages, before I was more mature and learned about discipline and values and things like that, I probably would have blown the money on very stupid things. Would have bought like some dumb car that just made my ego look cool and stuff like that. So it's funny because by the time you reach your goals, as you've become the kind of person that you really prefer to be, It is natural for you. I remember first hitting 100,000 on YouTube. That was the first goal, was 100,000 YouTube subscribers. And what happened was I was so busy in the making of the videos, I was so busy in the adding the value and in the action of it that I was almost becoming like, yes, I was still checking the stats, but it was a different relationship with it. That eventually it just happened. I remember literally going to bed one night at 97, 98,000, woke up the next day at over 100,000 because I had a video going viral. And what happened is I thought that like going to the gym that day, this is no joke, I thought going to the gym that day, like, people are gonna recognize me now that I have 100,000 YouTube subscribers. That was literally the thought process. And it's kind of funny to look back at, but when I hit it, it was like for like maybe an hour, I was like, oh cool, hit that goal, hit that goal, what's next, what's next? And then the mind immediately goes to what about 200? What about 250? What about 300? And the mind is always looking for more. But what I've learned and what I've noticed is that not only does the mind do that, but it was natural for my identity. So the key really goes from the wanting into the being, and the being is the identity. This is the game changer that changed my life. It's when I focused on identity, making a new choice about who I am and letting that carry me into a new timeline. Like having the 9 to 5 job, and you know the story if you've heard my videos, but living at my dad's house, had the download, make a video a day every single day for a year, your life will transform. And that one choice to make a video every single day put me on a new timeline and it changed my self-image. I started to see myself not just as somebody that's wishing and hoping for things to happen, I began to see myself as somebody that actually sets my goal and intention and then does it, follows through. And then I started to see myself differently. That changed so much about me, but it was a new choice. It wasn't a desire. It wasn't like, you know, before that I was in desire and wanting for about 2 years, knowing intuitively, you should get on YouTube. You should be sharing your ideas on YouTube. You should be doing these things, but I was afraid. I was afraid of what other people would think about me. I was afraid if people would think I was this esoteric weird guy. I was also, had success blocks when it comes to, or even just in general, I had this belief system that said, what do I have to share with the world? Doubting myself, I had this belief system that had to do with, not taking action. I was like, maybe if I just sit on my couch and think a better thought, everything will happen. And some of you listening to this right now, I'm not bagging on Abraham Hicks. I love Abraham Hicks. I'm just saying that in my own life, if you're doing what you absolutely love and you're being that identity, you don't mind the taking of the action. And for some of you, when you listen to this, It'll be a different prescription for each person that's listening to this, depending on where you are on your journey of going full-time with your passion or whatever that is. For example, there was a certain point in my life when I needed to hear, it's time to take massive action. And that was when I was working that 9 to 5 job, and then I decided to make a daily video. That one choice changed everything, but I was taking massive action. I needed to hear that. I needed that. I read a book. By Gary Vee called "Crushing It!" And that started to prime me for that kind of work mentality, that kind of work ethic. And as I started to be that way, that was what I needed to hear. And then for 3 years, that was my mentality, working hard, making a video every single day on YouTube, traveling here and there. But then I went to Costa Rica, did plant medicine, ayahuasca. And when I did that, That taught me, hey buddy, you have this belief system that you have to work hard to be successful. Your belief system says you're not worthy already and that maybe if you can add enough value to everybody else in the world, then maybe you're worthy. And you also, bro, you aren't enjoying the present moment. You're so preoccupied with the future. You just wanna get to that million YouTube subscriber amount. You just wanna do this, you just wanna do that. And then it was like me realizing, yeah, you're right. It's me talking to myself, but it's me realizing, hmm, this served me for a period of time, the work hard mentality. Now it's more about alignment, working in alignment. And yes, working, maybe working hard was somewhat in alignment, but then it served me, but it didn't serve me because I was working hard and I had this, and there was other things I wanted to do, but I felt such an internal pressure to do, do, do, do, do. And the more I let go and the more I started trusting the universe, guess what? The more amazing things began to come into my life. Now, in general, think about this too. I wish I could show you guys, I mean, this is on the podcast, but there's the levels of consciousness and I'll just kind of explain it so you can kind of paint a picture of the visual, but I'll kind of explain like there's 3 different levels of this. And I wanna share that with you 'cause this is gonna change the game for you. I really think that this simple understanding right here can completely transform your life. At the bottom of the scale of consciousness, you have shame, guilt, fear, anger. These are different emotions. Then above that, you have willingness, acceptance, reasoning. Reasoning is the intellect of the mind. And then it's love, joy, peace, and enlightenment. So at the bottom levels of shame, guilt, fear, and anger, a lot of times because of things that happen in our past, we are attached to certain meaning that things happen to our life for a certain reason. That meaning is keeping us trapped in the anger or the fear or the guilt or the shame. We're attached to what is called a positionality. I used to be angry at my ex-stepmom because I didn't have a childhood. And my ex-stepmom brainwashed my brother and I not to have a relationship with our real mom until the divorce happened when I was 15. Then we had a relationship with our real mom again. But I was angry at that whole situation. Why? Because I was attached to the positionality, to the position. That should not have happened. This is the meaning I was giving to it. And I was feeling in that lower vibrational emotion. I was also very much feeling unworthy because of the pain and the abuse of my ex-stepmom. So I didn't feel worthy. So here I am wanting to make YouTube videos, wanting to share these ideas with people, but there's something stopping me. What is it? Why do I feel like I can't take action? Why do I feel like I can't add value? Well, it's because these emotions are suppressed inside of me and I wasn't able to let them go and be free. And do those things that I wanted to do. So a lot of what that had to do to transform this level was about me becoming aware of the meaning to these things. Now, one of the meanings I realized was because this was leading me to, that led me to feeling unworthy and all these things. But when I changed the meaning and realized that it led to my spiritual awakening, that was a huge transformational moment. All the pain of the past began to transform. And when that happened, I started to become more emotionally free. I started to raise my vibration. I realized the more you raise your vibration up the scale, the easier it is to manifest and the less you have to desire at all because you're more in alignment. That's the name of the game. Not desire, not wanting, it is alignment and being. Being. Now, when we talk about desire, desire's at 125, it's over fear. And this is why it's so close to fear on the levels of consciousness. If you really want something, you really desire it and you crave it, you are attached to it and you are fearful that it could leave you. You are fearful and at the mercy of whether it is here or not. 100 on the scale of consciousness goes from 0 to 1,000. 100 is fear, 125 is desire. That is why people block things in their life. That's what I did for such a long time. I was, and think about it. If the key is having a belief in yourself or a belief in something, we know beliefs create our reality. Whatever we believe to be true is being reflected back. If we are desiring of it, it means in a way we don't trust the universe. We're not trusting reality. We're not trusting in ourselves. It's so close to fear. It's like we want something, but we also fear losing it or fear not having it. And that's where anxiety comes in. So the key to this is understanding that at the level of fear and desire, which are so close to each other, if we are afraid of losing something or we are, it means we're attached. We're attached to outcome, we're attached to something. We're believing that this thing on the outside is gonna make us happy on the inside. Now for me, what I've realized is the more that I've let go is the more that I've actually received. And the reason being is because the universe is bringing to you everything that which is relevant to you. The problem is that our ego believes it has to do everything and therefore it's like the universe is like stepping to the side and it's like, okay, buddy, you think you got this all figured out, don't you? And then it lets us learn the lesson in a way. What if the universe could bring us even more magical things if we let it? But we don't let it a lot of times 'cause we're attached to outcome. Letting go of outcome and letting go of attachment is the key to receiving. When you talk about attachments, if you're really tied on, like the analogy I use a lot, but imagine somebody wants to attract love into their life. So they say, okay, what I'm gonna do is this is how it's gonna happen. I'm gonna go to the coffee shop today. I'm gonna stand in line. This person's gonna come up to me. This person's gonna ask me a question. Then I'm gonna say this. Then I'm gonna say, they're gonna say this and then this. And then eventually we're gonna talk and we're gonna realize we have this great connection. Then we're gonna go and start dating and it's gonna be great. Think about how specific that is. It doesn't allow the universe much wiggle room to bring something else in. And then what happens is you go to the coffee shop. It doesn't happen the way that you thought, 'cause you wanted it and you were resisting and you're putting out an energy of trying to take. Think about that, by the way. Anytime somebody wants something from someone else, they want them to respond to them in a certain way, they're trying to take away their energy. They're trying to take away and they're trying to manipulate them into giving them what they want, which is validation, significance, support, whatever that is. It's a form of manipulation. When instead, if someone's cup is full and they're just going in to have fun, they're just, they're loose. Maybe they have an intention. Yeah, I wanna meet someone cool. And they just put it out to the universe. But it's not like it has to be someone cool at the coffee shop at 7:59 AM. No. Allow the universe more wiggle room. But realize the degree to which you can let go is the degree to which you could fill up your own cup and the degree to which you are attractive as well. You have more magnetic energy the more free from outcome you are. So this is something that I have been learning in my own life because there is an insistence I have almost in different areas of my life. this has to go this way, or this has to go this way, even with like different people in my life, different relationships that I have. And then they feel that pressure. You know, it's funny. There's times that I get very irritated when someone is late for something. Like there's this guy that comes in and works on my house and he'll be like 2, 3 hours late every time. Or I have this like rule, like where I don't like it when people are late, but because I don't like it and because I'm expecting it, I'm imposing my will on reality and I don't trust. That people are gonna be here when they say they are, that's another thing. Remember, reality on the outside is just a reflection of the inside. But the more I realize that I'm almost insinuating and expecting for people to be late, the more I realize that it's almost like influencing them to be late because of that internal pressure of like, oh, you better not do something. It's like a form of manipulation, but it has the opposite effect of what you think it does. So wanting and letting go is really the key to this process. Letting go of wanting is the key. What I want to do now is I want to read a couple screenshots to you. So this is from the book, "Letting Go." Huge fan of letting go and this book called "Letting Go." And I just want to read to you some little tidbits from this. And you guys can let me know if this resonates with you or what you guys think of this. Here we go. Letting go of expectations. This is in the book, "Letting Go" by Dr. David Hawkins, "The Pathway to Surrender." Letting go of expectations. When we put pressure on other people in order to get what we want, they automatically resist because we are trying to pressure them. The harder we push, the harder they resist. Even though out of fear, they may actually concede to our demands, there is not an inner acceptance and later on, we will lose what we have gained. This resistance is in all of us. We can be aware of it as it operates unconsciously and we evade that awareness by making excuses and plausible explanations. So, and this happens many times. This, okay, for example, there's an analogy it shows is an example of this dynamic is a man who is working with the letting go technique in the midst of a divorce. He and his wife got into a heated argument over something he wanted. She kept saying no to his request. So in the middle of it, he surrendered to the object that he wanted. It was now okay with him if she didn't give it to him. And it was okay if she did. The instant he let go of it in his mind, she suddenly turned to him and offered not only to give it to him, but to have it packed and to ship to him as well. Think about that. How many times, I cannot tell you, by the way, How many times in my own life I have had something that I wanted or something that I wanted to go a certain way, and the moment I let go of it is the moment it came to me. Within minutes sometimes. So I'm not with days, within minutes. The more I have let go is the more that it actually comes in. Here's another little segment from a completely different part of the book. That which we want, desire, and insist upon from another person is felt by them as pressure. Oh wait, that was it. Motivated by yourself. Oh, this is, it is a different part. In the example above, both persons are looking for acknowledgement. Okay, so there was an example above of a wife coming home from work, wanting the husband to recognize her for like doing a whole bunch of things around the house. He was just in his own world. And because she wanted it from him, he was resisting giving it subconsciously. And it just kind of was going on both of each other's grudges with each other, how that impacted them energetically. So it says something kind of similar. I thought it was almost the same thing 'cause it's the same wording, but that which we want, desire, and insist upon from another person is felt to them as pressure. They will therefore unconsciously resist. In the example above, both persons are looking for acknowledgement. They want it, desire it, but block it in each other. Each side feels pressured and consequently resistant. The resistance is because pressure is always felt by us as denial of our choice. It is felt as emotional blackmail. The unconscious formula goes, give me what I want or I will punish you by withdrawal, anger, pouting, sulking, and resentment. We all resent feeling emotionally blackmailed. We all know the resistance we feel when We become aware that somebody is fishing for a compliment, and the same resistance goes on unconsciously as well as consciously. When we are motivated by self-sacrifice, we are pressuring the other person. Even if we force an acknowledgement, it will be a disgruntled one. A forced compliment does not satisfy. Part of the anger here arises from the pride of self-sacrifice. We have a certain secret vanity about what we are doing for others, and we pride of achievement Makes us vulnerable to anger when our sacrifice is not realized. So think about that. The more we want, the more we are pressuring someone else to do something, the less we are giving them their power to make the choice, the freedom to make the choice. You see, wanting is a pressure feeling. And now think of it like this. When we want something from the universe, We are doing the same thing to the universe. We are pressuring the universe. We are saying we don't trust the universe and we're not allowing the universe to give that very thing to us. Think of the universe as a person, as a spiritual entity in a way, and you'll see that energy dynamic and you can relay it not just from other people, but also between you and also yourself. What is your relationship with yourself? But if I, when I want people to be on time, I'm insisting to be on time. I'm emotionally trying to blackmail them to be on time. They feel that as pressure subconsciously and do the opposite. And you might say that sounds like Way out there, Aaron Doughty. It's an energetic thing. It's the way I'm relating to the universe. It's my own belief system about it. It is reflecting back to me what I believe to be true. But also, it is about me recognizing that the less I want, the more I get. And think of it like this too. The vibration of wanting something Let's say I want, if somebody is saying, I want love. It's the most common one I think that people reach out to me for is understanding more about that. I want love, I want love, I want love. And you keep saying that. First off, it's ridiculous because the love already exists inside of us once we really understand who we are and how it works. But if we're saying, I want it, it means we don't have it. Now, if you were to look at the version of you that is in a loving relationship with yourself, but also maybe a loving relationship with someone else, that version of you, it is natural to have love. It's not on a pedestal. It's not this amazing, oh my gosh thing. It's like, it's natural. My cup is full. I know my own sense of value and worth. And of course I'll be spending that time with somebody else. You see the difference in the energy? Wanting and being are two totally separate realities. If you want love, it means you don't have the love currently. But when you realize that love is who you are, when you realize that you fill up your own cup and you focus on the love within yourself and your relationship with yourself, of course it is natural for you to attract a loving relationship because it's who you are.