Why setting boundaries makes you attractive (life changing)

When it comes to boundaries, most people know what external boundaries are. However, internal boundaries are even more powerful and make it to where you don't even need to set external boundaries with other people. Imagine that there is an energy field around you and that this energetic field has within it the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions, the patterns within it. And that if you believe that other people have the ability to overstep into your boundary, and you believe that it is your responsibility to deal with that, then what'll happen is you may surrender your field, and you may find yourself having weak energetic boundaries. Therefore needing to set external boundaries. However, when you learn the power of energetic boundaries, when you learn how to feel safe inside of your own body, within your own frame of reality, you will notice that people in your life respond differently. You will notice you don't need to set boundaries as often because it's external boundaries, because they're naturally there. And you'll find yourself in your own frame of reality, influencing people and situations in a much more powerful way. Now, the first thing to look at within this dynamic is understanding that who has the strongest frame of reality is influencing another person. If you've ever seen someone that is two people talking, And what you'll notice is that one person always has a stronger frame and that that person is guiding the energy of the dynamic, even if they're not saying as much. You may have someone that's overexplaining themselves to someone else. The other person's not saying much at all, but they're holding a specific frame. And the idea to understand is that people are molding to our frame of reality of how we expect them to be. They've showed this with that of videos where I talk about that of Ho'oponopono, where I talk about the quantum physics of reality, where we perceive of 11 to 15, there's 11 to 15 million bits of information around us at any given moment, but we can only perceive of about 40 to 100 bits per second of information. Now, what this means is that there is different versions of people we could be picking up on, but we only pick up on the people that have the energy that reflects back the energy within our own frame of reality. So think of it, think of it like if you have inside of yourself some form of anger or belief, like people better not be late, and then you go out Well, the bits of information within your field of that charge of energy where people should not be late is charged, which would increase the probability actually of other people activating that because they're reflecting back what you believe inside your field. Out of the 11 to 15 million bits of information, there are that of that version of the person where they maybe are on time, but because there's a negative charge in the field, you may literally bring that out of people. This is the power of Ho'oponopono because what you do is you take responsibility for what's in your field, knowing if you are perceiving it on the outside, then it means there is some level of energy that is active on the inside. So this is why forgiving, saying those 4 simple statements, "I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you," there's an energetic pattern there of releasing that energy inside of the field. 'Cause you're taking responsibility for how you, for what's in your field. Very different than taking responsibility for how other people feel, which is when people have trouble setting boundaries. Now let's look at this. This is one of the things for this video I really wanted to share that I think will completely maybe shift something for you. And it's understanding this idea that I was talking about a moment ago of 11 to 15 million bits of information that we are picking up on different versions of people based on our beliefs about who other people are. Think about that. People are responding and reflecting back the beliefs we have. People respond and reflect back what we believe to be true about ourselves, how worthy we believe we are, We will only tolerate people in our, like people in our lives, we tolerate if it's toxic energy because we believe that's what we are worthy of. So someone else that maybe is manipulating you, you may put up with that because maybe you've normalized it or you believe that's what you're worthy of because maybe that felt familiar, familial when you were a kid. So when you think about this, this is such an important insight when it comes to energetic boundaries because it brings the power back to what do you believe to be true about you and about other people? Because your beliefs create your reality and you can put out a different belief about other people that then gets literally a different version of them. So think about it like this, there are standing waves and there are particle. You could think of it like we have these standing waves of energy that have beliefs, the most common dominant core beliefs that we have. So if we have a belief that says, "I'm not worthy," we will be emanating that out in what science calls a standing wave. It's like this wave of energy that's going, that's leaving our body, and other people are picking up on that frequency and reflecting back and mirroring back what that is. So think about it like this standing wave of energy is then influencing other people and these other people, we're attracting them into our life to reflect back certain energies back to us. And what'll happen is if we believe, you see this energy field around this person, if we believe other people's tension and emotion is our responsibility, then we will take on and then tune to other people and not want to disappoint them because we've learned a survival mechanism as a kid that we must include other people and feel responsible for their field, for their energy. So one of the main challenges when it comes to setting boundaries is that people feel responsible for other people's emotions. They feel responsible for other people's tension. So to set boundaries externally with other people, that is painful because their tension is your tension. But if you don't associate with their attention and you know it's just their stuff to deal with, not yours, then you won't internalize it so much. You won't feel so bad about it. And now maybe you also, are learning how to have, you're learning the lesson of frame. You're learning the lesson of how to feel safe within your own frame of reality with choosing your own values and deciding how you relate to other people. Like, think about it. Narcissists and empaths tend to attract each other. And for the empath attracting the narcissist who's very controlling and demanding, the narcissist will constantly influence the empath, the person that can feel other people's energies, extremely sensitive. They're constantly testing each other. Well, the narcissist is very much testing the empath and the lesson for the empath is to stand up for themselves, is to set their own boundaries. But the energetic boundary side of this is that that version would not have even attracted the narcissist to begin with because there's almost like they would've seen the red flags and they would've known that it's not equal to, like they know that they're more worthy than to tolerate or to normalize that kind of toxic behavior. But in the beginning, they may not see it. They may see red flags and think they're roses, as the saying goes. So really, there's 3 main things I wanna share with you about this that changes everything when you learn more about how to set energetic boundaries. Because the idea behind energetic boundaries is that you feel safe within your own frame of reality. You feel safe inside of your own body, which is really what frame is. It's feeling safe inside of your own body at the deepest level, but also having beliefs about yourself and beliefs about other that are healthy. And your beliefs about self are strong enough to where you don't have to actually set external boundaries because external boundaries only need to be set when you're not feeling strong within your own frame of reality. Maybe you've seen this before where there's someone that's in their own frame and they go talk to, they go interact with someone and without really saying much, the other person treats them completely differently than they would treat someone else that would have to set boundaries. It's almost like there's like a different energy there. And there's not an understanding of like, why does this person not have to deal with this kind of energy? And the reason why is because their field, the standing waves they're emanating off are different. They're of a way to where they're like, I don't have to put up with this. It's not like I don't have to put up with this like a charge. It's like literally in my reality, I'm in the right place at the right time. People respect me. And sometimes people, because this is also the other thing, People that feel like they are responsible for someone else will expand their field to include someone else's energy. But also sometimes people are trying to get their inner needs met of wanting to be liked, wanting validation. And what happens is if they want the approval and validation of someone else, that's also controlling their behavior. They literally believe that this person person has something only they can give themselves. So of course it's hard to set boundaries. Energetic boundaries is also about understanding that you can meet the needs of your inner child instead of your inner child inside of you seeking the validation and approval from an external source. Because the truth of the matter is, the inner child and part of you that maybe as a kid did not feel validated or approved of is wanting to feel validated and approved as the ugly cousin substitute to connection and love. So really what the inner child part of you wants is to feel love, to feel connected. Now the challenge is that it will look for in the external these things because it's trying to close the loop of looking for it in other people, looking for mom and dad to basically come around. And the thing is, is you'll never get enough of it. Like no matter how many social media followers you have, no matter how much people, think about it too. Think of every person you ever met just validated and approved of you so much. Like you went to the gym and people came up to you and was like, "Oh my God, you have the best physique I've ever seen. You look incredible. That is so amazing. You're looking fantastic." And then you go out to the coffee shop and 3 people come up to you that you find attractive and they're like, "Oh my God, you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen. I just can't, I just really hope you give me your number." And then you go somewhere else and then people are just constantly like, "You're the most incredible thing I've ever seen." And everywhere you go, you're just completely validated and approved of. After a while, you'd get tired of it. You would be sick of it. And not only that, it wouldn't really affect you. Like you get high for a little bit, "This person thinks I'm enough. This person thinks I'm validated." You'd get tired of it and sick of it, but at the same time, it's almost like if you buy into it, it would never be enough because you'd always be a victim of the external. The person that is making someone else their savior then immediately becomes the victim. The person that's the perfect love dynamic, "Oh my God, you're so amazing," you then make yourself the victim because you are then at the mercy of someone outside of you. But a lot of times what happens is we may go around looking for authority to validate or like us because we feel we did not receive it growing up. And the authority that we are projecting onto everyone else is something that we must learn to give to our own inner child. Now I do have a meditation, by the way, an inner child meditation that will help you to heal this energy from the inside out. If you wanna check it out, you can go ahead and click the link below, join the High Vibe Tribe. I also have a $1,000 course called High Vibe 101 that will show you how to work through all of this. It's completely free. I'll probably eventually put it on YouTube in a long video, but it'll take some time to get that ready. It's all organized. There's PDFs, meditations to help you go through that. But it's on the High Vibe Tribe. You can go and join below. But understand that feeling and healing that inner child by being present with that part of yourself begins to close the loop to where then you're not searching for it in the outside. Because ultimately what happened is you're locked in childhood. You're locked in childhood and there's a stage in childhood where you become more individuated, as Carl Jung would call it. Individuation is when you stop relying and tuning to mom and dad to find out who you are, and you start to accept that you might be different. You start to understand self versus other. Self versus other. This is the thing that most people that do not have strong external boundaries or internal boundaries have trouble with. Now, self versus other. This is where you learn what is you versus what is other people. And what happens is if you've taken on the responsibility of someone else's energy growing up, that was in order to get your needs met, your needs met to feel safe inside of your body. So self versus other is about bringing the energy inside of your own body and actually feeling the separation between you and someone else. Literally imagine the boundaries of your body. That's your energetic field. The boundaries between you and someone in your life, you and a parent, you and someone that you've had trouble with, you and someone you've had trouble setting boundaries with, you and an ex, you and an old best friend that you haven't seen in a while that maybe you still feel energetically controlled by because you feel guilty for leaving them behind or something. You feel the separation between you and someone else, you will start to feel inside of your body. And then the other is seeing that if they have a problem with it, that is their stuff, not mine. You see, it's more of an energy. Now, one major idea that's been transforming my thought process around this recently is understanding that of what is called tasks. From Alfred Adlerian psychology. So Alfred Adler, one of the grandfathers of psychology up there with Carl Jung and Freud, talked about this of understanding what is called the separation of tasks. Now the separation of tasks is understanding that your task is to meet the inner child needs. Your task is to decide who you are, to be in your own frame of reality, to choose your beliefs, and to choose how you feel about you. The tasks of other people are to do that for themselves. Now, when you all enter relationship issues, like relationship issues are a mixing of the separation of tasks, is where you take on the tasks of someone else. So if you want someone else to validate and approve of you, you are then making your task their task. And projecting it onto them. If someone else has a problem with you setting a boundary, they may then be projecting their task onto you to fix their issue, to fix the tension they're feeling. That's their task. So the separation of tasks is really this self versus other individuation where you begin to feel safe inside of your own body. Do you see the difference here? Self versus other. Feeling safe inside of your own body creates the container to where then you can see what is you versus what is other. And then you don't take on the responsibility of other people, nor do you project onto them the burden to meet your inner child needs. This is where you start to get into your own frame of reality. Because ultimately when you're in your own frame and you're deciding who you are, it can change everything. And this is an epiphany for me these last couple days. I've been feeling the difference when it comes to quantum, like creating the reality you want. There's an energy of feeling inside of your body, holding the vision, the knowing, the certainty that you are who you choose to be. Of how you choose to interact with other people. Think about it. There's a frequency of reality where you are confident in your own frame, where you are connecting to other people in a way where you are empowered. And then there's a frame of reality where you're like not sure about yourself. You're like, am I worthy to do this? Should I do this? Should I do that? And it's kind of like this half in, half out energy. The universe will reflect that back. So instead, it's almost like there's a standing wave of energy off your body that is holding the vision for you interacting with people in a certain way, for how people respond to you, for how you feel not phased if somebody doesn't respond the way you want. You feel confident in your own frame regardless. Maybe I'll make a whole video on this, but it has to do with certainty and how that influences your field of energy, how that influences how people respond to you. There was like one thing I read back in the day that completely changed and helped me to create the abundance I have on YouTube, and that was a simple technique that had to do with knowing, feeling, and behaving as if you are the version of you you choose to be, and simply holding the frame. It's done. And your job is to tap into the quantum field reality where it is already done. It's not to figure out how you're gonna do it, how you need to energetically set boundaries and externally set boundaries. It's holding the vision and literally energetically wiring it within your field using the power of meditation. Anything you want, the key is tuning to the frequency of it that already exists. Embodying the emotion and the energy of it, feeling the gratitude for it being here now, and then letting reality shift, not being attached to it, getting into the unknown. Because it will feel unknown for you to set boundaries with someone else. It will feel unknown to you to feel the separation between you and other people. That's the unknown. What'll happen if I set boundaries with someone? You know what I found when I set boundaries with someone where I had to clear up some things? I was afraid maybe there'd be rejection or there'd be some like tension and make someone angry. You wanna know what actually happened? Respect. There was way more respect. It's almost like the opposite. Only good things came from it. So understand that reality shifts depending on the energy you are embodying within your energetic field. And if you feel responsible for other people, you are, you need to set external boundaries because you energetically don't feel confident in your own frame of reality. You must hold the vision of what you want to experience and how you wanna interact with other people as if it's a present moment reality. And in High Vibe 101, that free course that I've given away for free in the free community, there's a meditation in there that will help you to visualize and charge your energetic field with what you want. It's only 10 minutes long or 11 minutes long, and you can listen to it every day. It's a daily guided meditation. It's the first time I've ever created anything like that. So energetic versus external boundaries. This is really about having a practice every day of feeling safe inside of your own body and feeling the separation between you and others. And I encourage you to do this, by the way, do an exercise, go out into public or go to like an interaction, social interaction, and focus on feeling inside of your own body and feeling the separation between you and other people. And watch how much more magnetic you are and how much people are attracted to your field when you feel safe inside your own body and you don't need anything from anyone else. You're not trying to get their approval and validation. Watch. It's like that exercise I share back in the day when I went to Costa Rica and there was a consciousness teacher at the front of the room telling everyone in the crowd, send me energy, send me energy, send me energy. And she said it would make her back away, it would repel her when they were projecting energy at her. Then she said, bring the energy back in your body, bring the energy back in your body, bring the energy back in your body. And she says it's like a feeling of being drawn towards the crowd. It's magnetic when people are in their own frame of reality. You think when you project energy at someone else, that might be magnetic, it's not. You must be in your own frame of reality and that is most attractive. Now, the other thing to remember is that's not my job. There's a Mac Dre song called, where he says, "That's not my job." <LYRICS>Anything else, not my job.</LYRICS> That's not my job. It is not your job to manage other people's emotions, but also it's not their job to manage your emotions, give you validation or approval. So what is your job? What is your task? Your task is to decide how you feel about yourself, to feel safe inside of your own body and to hold the field of the energy of how you want to interact with other people. Because ultimately that is influencing your field more than anything. And that's what energetic boundaries are. Energetic boundaries are an invisible boundary of energy around you. Not like you need to walk around with a field of energy where it's a bubble and it's protecting you from everyone else. Not to say there's not power in that. I'm not saying that. I'm saying you feel safe within your own boundary of reality and you won't have to set external, you won't have to visualize a bubble around you. It's the belief about who you are and how you relate to other people. It's the feeling of the boundary of between you and others and feeling space, not taking on other people's emotions or energies and holding the vision for how and who you wanna be of gratitude that it's already in your life now. Your job's not to figure out the how, your job is to figure out what the what and to embody the energy of it. And when you begin to do that, your life will change in a very powerful way. Now, if you wanna learn more how to do what is called the frame technique to feel self versus other, I have a guided meditation process you can watch right here that will change your life. When you set boundaries, if you set boundaries with someone else, can you feel feel their disappointment.