In this video Aaron Doughty explains that the desire to obtain love from external sources actually creates an energetic block that prevents love from arriving. Using the "carrot on a stick" metaphor, he shows that seeking love outside the self signals lack and neediness, which is sensed by others and causes resistance. He links this pattern to childhood attachment wounds, codependency, and unbalanced masculine/feminine energies, and describes how shadow work and integration can heal these issues. Doughty shares a story of a college student who attracted many phone numbers by not intending to call anyone, illustrating that non‑neediness is magnetic. He emphasizes the importance of "filling your own cup"—cultivating self‑worth, gratitude, and inner abundance—so that love becomes a reflection of the inside rather than a pursuit outside. Practical steps include recognizing attachment styles, doing inner work, and practicing a 21‑day meditation that he claims has helped millions feel inner love and attract external relationships. The overall message is that love is an inner game; when you stop wanting and start being, you become naturally magnetic.
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If someone wants love, they're looking for love on the outside and they want to attract that love on the outside inside. They want to attract it to them. Think of it like having a carrot on a stick. There's a stick, there's a carrot, and instead of that carrot, it's your heart. And you're constantly looking and following that carrot thinking that carrot is outside of you. When in actuality, of course, your heart is inside. Now, this is why when people want the carrot on the stick, they are searching for something outside of themselves, they block that thing from coming into their life, and it has to do with energetics. It has to do with our energy. And in this video, I'm gonna show you why wanting love is blocking love, how to make a little switch that will change your whole entire life, allow you to have more magnetic energy, and attract it in easier than ever from the inside out. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now recently I had a session with a coach that I'm going to. It's a coach that helps me with shadow work, also masculine and feminine integration, because we all have both feminine and masculine energies inside of us, healing wounds from the past. You could say masculine or feminine wounds that came from childhood. And one of the things he told me was very interesting about that of love and energetics. He told me that he once had a client who was younger, was a younger guy, maybe like 20 years old, and he was in college and he wanted to get good at talking with girls. So what he was working with him with was integrating masculine energy, which means more so leading, also healing the feminine energy inside of him. And what happened is he said that his client, who was like 19, 20 years old, went with his frat buddies out to a club. And what they used to do is in the bars or the clubs, they would see who would get the most phone numbers. So what happened was, is they would do this every week or every couple of weeks just to kind of see. And what he found is his client, what his client did was kind of genius. The energetics of it at least. What he did is when he would go into the club, every single time he'd come out with like 6 or 7 phone numbers and he'd always win. And his buddies would always be like, why do you, Why are you able to win like that? Like, what is your trick? What is your key? You want to know what he said? This was his key to getting all those phone numbers and everything. This was the energy behind it. He said, the difference is that you guys actually plan on calling those girls. I don't. Now you might be thinking like, what does that mean? What it means is he didn't really want the phone numbers. All those other guys that went in that were blocking love, blocking people, even those connections, They were blocking it because they wanted it. They were intending on calling them and they wanted it. The energy, whether he was gonna call them back or not, the energy underneath that was he didn't necessarily want it or crave it. Because of that, guess what? People can feel that energy. One of the most attractive traits you can have is not to be needy. The more needy you are, women are extraordinarily, and this isn't just for men, by the way, this is just in general for attracting love, but especially women, women are so intuitive and can feel if someone wants anything from them, anything. They want their number, they want to talk to them, they want their energy, whatever. They can feel that. So energetically, this is the reason why anything we want, we immediately are lacking. Now think of it like this. This is that carrot on the stick example. We are looking outside of ourselves for something that is inside. Now, a lot of times this stems back to childhood. Because at a certain point in our past when we were kids, something happened. At the moment that something happened, we decided there was something wrong with us, that we were unlovable, that we are unworthy. And then that gets externalized out. And a lot of times this also has to do with codependence of one of your parents. Maybe one of your parents wasn't emotionally available or something. I see that happen a lot with people that come to me. And because of that, what happened is you then craved their love, you craved their support, and their security. And that makes it a little bit more of a, you know, I have a video that's on attachment styles. There's anxious and avoidant attachment style, and that kind of plays into this as well. I'll go ahead and link those videos below, by the way, the explaining the anxious and the attachment styles that go along with that, or the avoidant and the anxious. So the main game changer for me, because I've noticed within myself this year, I have become more, not just confident within myself, but more filling up my own cup than I've ever been in my whole entire life because I had a certain pattern I realized in relationships where when I was in a relationship with someone, I'm so enthusiastic and I'm so passionate, but sometimes that energy is so intense, it's so much that what I end up doing is almost putting out that energy out onto the other person, and then it's something that ends up repelling that connection, that intimacy. So what I've had to learn within myself is how to fill up my own cup and not think that the other person is going to be what helps me feel more love, whole, complete, looking on it, looking on the outside for it. But this right here is one of the biggest game changers I found. Anytime we want something from someone else, whether it's their validation, them to call you back, them to text you back, uh, you want, um, intimacy, anything you want, you are expecting that from someone else. And when you expect it from someone else, what they do is they intuitively can feel what you feel. They can feel that you're trying to manipulate them, even if you're trying to manipulate them to get closer to you, manipulate them to like you, manipulate them to go out with you, whatever it is. And the way they respond is they resist. So instead of trying to control, the more you let go is the more attractive you will be. The more you let go, the more magnetic you will be. Let go of control, because when you let go of control, it signifies your cup is full. Then they can feel that. And a lot of times they probably want to get closer to you. They probably want to give you what you desire, but not from that desire-needing place, from what you intend for. But they can't give it to you if you want it, because if you want it, you're in the vibration of not having it. They're feeling that and they resist giving it to you. And also it's a form of manipulation. Anytime we want someone to act a different way, It is crazy how much they can feel that and how much they resist it. Within myself, I filled up my own cup to new levels and I feel worthy, whole and complete, and I know my own worth. I know what I bring to the table and I know my own energy. And the benefit of this is that I feel good already. I don't need anybody else because I don't need anybody else. Guess what? It's attractive energy. The cup is full and other people want to be around that full cup. So wanting equals resisting. And if you think deep about it, anything you've ever wanted, anything especially that you put on a pedestal, you create resistance around. And then it's like you're, you're not naturally in the right, saying the right things, or you're saying it with nervous energy, or your body language is kind of weird, or anything you really want, you realize that it's just not coming in. It's because you're blocking it because you want it. If you can, you move from wanting to being, that is the key. You see, all these things we want are on the outside, right? We want that on the end to come inside. We want that over here. The key of reality is this, there really is no outside. Everything on the outside is a reflection of the inside. So when we want something, we're saying that there's not something on the inside already, and therefore we'll bounce around. Maybe we'll find other codependent people and other people that reflect back that imbalance. But the key to this is realizing it's all already within. And one of the ways you do that is by connecting to the divine within you. We're all divine spiritual beings having temporary human experiences, and we connect to that divinity. Guess what? We feel whole and complete. If you want more money and abundance, guess what? The feelings of security, of freedom, all of those things, they're already inside of you, and you can feel them now by deciding to, by making the choice, by focusing on the gratitude of what's already in your life. So this then focuses from the carrot on the stick of searching for something else that's on the outside that you'll never really find, by the way, because when you do find it, you find that that thing is so dependent on outer circumstance. When the person stops giving you that love back, you then feel that lack of it. But if it comes from within, guess what? You have the ability to focus on it. You have the ability to feel it whenever you want. You're not dependent on anybody. So the key to attracting love is realizing there is no love on the outside. This is all an inner game. When you focus more on the relationship with yourself, when you focus more on what you're grateful for about yourself and the worthiness within yourself, I promise you what will happen is your energy will be more magnetic than ever before. People will feel that off of you and you won't be feeling it from a place of neediness because you won't be needy. Needy comes from this desire, this wanting, this craving from something that's on the outside. But now you know, there is nothing on the outside. It is all a reflection. So one of the things you could do is also go within and to look at your childhood attachment style. Like I said, I'm gonna link that video below, but the different attachment styles, learn about more about that. That will help you understand more about this. But blocking love is because you want love. It is the funniest thing in the world. I remember this person I used to work with, I tell this story a lot. I used to work with this girl and what she did is she realized, that when she was in a relationship, she would get hit on, right? Within the first week of being in a relationship with someone, she'd get hit on like 10 times in one week. Prior to that, for literally a whole entire year she would've been single, she may have not got hit on 10 times in the whole year. What changed? The energy. She no longer craved love because she felt that love. And then everyone can feel that energy dynamic on her, and she feels more magnetic because she doesn't want it, and she just gets that which she probably wanted for the whole year. Now, of course, that's the— that's not necessarily the healthy way to go about it because then it's dependent on outer circumstance. But you'll notice this: people that are in relationships, or people that have abundance, it's easy for them to attract more love because they're already in it. They don't feel that scarcity. They don't feel needy. Because it's vibrational resonance. Now, one of the best ways you can feel that vibrational resonance inside of yourself is with meditation. And I have this one meditation that has over 3 million views, not trying to brag, but if you read the comments, there are thousands of people that have said that meditation, listened to it for 21 days, has completely transformed their life and made them and helped them attract love. You can read the comments below. It's the most powerful meditation that I have, the most popular one by far, and basically helps you feel it within And as you feel it within for 21 days in a row, you're going to notice that your outer reality changes in so many ways you can't even imagine. And that's because you're filling yourself up from the inside out. So listen to that meditation for 21 days. I think you're going to love it. If you could like this video, if you liked it, show that love. I really appreciate that. And as always, I'll talk to you later. Peace, much love, and namaste.
