A woman keeps dating emotionally wounded partners she tries to fix, hoping they'll love her in return. The pattern traces back to childhood: she felt unseen by her parents and unconsciously believes fixing someone will earn their love. Breaking the cycle means recognizing this need for validation didn't come from them, and it won't come from saving a partner either.
Why do I keep attracting the same type of lovers? They have like trauma. Yeah. So I always have to be for them, have to be there for them like emotionally. Yeah. And then they don't reciprocate the energy back. I just feel like it's one-sided, it's selfish. And like I don't feel loved, I feel used.
So first off, there's an energy where you're attracting people that need fixing. Is that correct?
Yes.
And what's the challenge again?
I don't feel loved or appreciated for trying to fix them.
Well, so the thought is if I fix them, then what happens? What happens?
They love me.
So if you fix them, they will love you. This is a very interesting thing to look at because what happens is many times if we felt like mom or dad didn't see us as a kid, or we felt like there's this desire sometimes for a younger aspect of us that wants to fix mom or dad, because if we could fix mom or dad, we can get them to love us in the way that they weren't able to. So what happens is if there's unresolved energy there, we will attract that unresolved energy because we subconsciously want to resolve it. So the belief is if I fix them, then they'll love me. Why can't you be loved even if you don't fix them?
I'm trying to nurture them. I'm like, right, mom didn't love you, let me love you.
And why do you feel like you need to nurture them?
Because I know how it feels not to be nurtured. And like, I'm just trying to give them something that I know would feel good to me.
I want to acknowledge you for saying that, by the way, because there's an awareness there that the energy you're putting out is is the energy you want to receive. So there could be an aspect of you that actually wants that but is looking for it in someone else and trying to give that for someone else, because if you can give it to someone else, then they're going to give it back to you.
