Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Them (And How to Finally Let Go)

Why is it when you detach from other people, they will then attach their energy to you? Well, first off, let's look at this from the other way around to see why you subconsciously repel people when you think of them or when you want anything from them. So think about it energetically. When you think of other people, think of it from an energetic point of view. Imagine that when you think of them, you are energetically sending them energy. Imagine that how you feel about them inside of your body is being projected at them as you think about it. And imagine that if you want someone else to do something for you, that feels like an energy of control. That feels like an energy where because you want something from them, there's an energy that there's something they're not doing a certain way correctly. And what happens naturally when you can feel someone wants something from you? You close up your energy. You don't necessarily want to give it because you can tell that there's an expectation there. You can tell that there's a form of resistance there. So very often what happens is inside of your body, if you are wanting something from someone else, there is an energy of lack inside of your energy. There's an energy of this thing isn't here now. So what happens is if you're feeling, I want this person to do this and they're not doing it, that's the energy you're projecting at them. And then it overlays with how they're feeling and it literally subconsciously influences them to not give you that which you want. So it's a very interesting dynamic when you start to recognize that the most magnetic version of you is the most, is the version of you that's the least attached. When you can let people like you or not, that's when you're gonna be free. And in this video, I'm gonna show you the most powerful concepts around your energy that subconsciously you might not realize. You are either repelling away love and connection, you are repelling away deeper connections, with friends and family, and you might actually be able to attract all of this in a completely different way once you completely detach and you learn how to properly do that, which is exactly what I'm gonna show you in this video. Now, the first thing you wanna understand that is so important for this that will completely shift the way that you approach this is understanding that the technique itself yourself needs to be not a technique to get you their approval or validation. Now, what I mean by this is sometimes people might see the title of this video, you might click on it and recognize that when you don't care about what other people think about you, those are the people that normally like you the most, but you don't care. I hear this so often from women. They're like, I wanna attract a certain guy that I really like, but I also always attract the guys I don't like. They always come after me. So it's like when you're not attached to them, they attach to you, but you want the ones to attach to you that you like. So it's this weird dynamic there. But now that you're watching this video, if what happens is you hear what I'm about to share with you and you use it as a tactic to get someone to like you, You've now used a technique as a form of control in a subconscious way to get what you want again. That's why you can't use this technique to get what you want. So in a weird way, this video's gonna show you an anti-technique. It's gonna show you how not to use the technique and how to get deeper down to the deeper core of what's really going on here. And what's really going on here at the deeper subconscious level that can completely shift your life is recognizing that what's happening deeper is there's a subconscious way in which you're going about trying to get your needs met. What's happening is if you don't feel safe inside of yourself and validate yourself, then what happens is you will search for that on the external. You will search for partners to tell you and to reflect something back to you. You'll search for validation and approval instead of accepting of yourself. And this is where things change for people is when they realize that this really isn't about just using the letting go technique as a mechanism to get something. It's more about questioning the deeper thing that's under the surface to begin with. And the deeper thing that's under the surface is that there's a part of you that may feel like you are not worthy or enough unless someone else approves of you or validates you. Now, I've seen this happen so many people where they are attached to an ex or someone they're trying to let go of. And what happens is someone might want this person to come back They might want them to reach out to them and they want, they want, they want, and they're attached. And then what happens is once they finally let go and they're not letting go as a tactic or a technique, sometimes I'll say this and they will try to do that, but the only time it really works is when you really let go and you recognize that this person is reflection of a certain pattern. They are reflecting back certain energy to you that you can begin to integrate inside of yourself. And this is a deeper conversation as well of something that's completely transformed the way that I view relationships in general. Because in relationship, what I would normally ask myself is, is this the right person? And the moment conflict would come up, there'd be an assumption that maybe this isn't the right person because there's a certain conflict coming up and I don't know if we could work through this. But the moment I started to see that this person that I'm with is a reflection. And in a way, the relationship itself isn't about necessarily just the person. It's about that that relationship is a reflection of the inner work you can do on yourself. So is this somebody that I can connect to that can allow me to learn things about myself that I can then conflict resolution with someone in this way so that I can grow as a person? Instead of blaming it and saying, oh, this thing's coming up, it's this person. Do you see? So the reason I share this now is it's a different way of looking about it. This is a completely transformed way I went about looking at how I would feel safe in relationships. And once I started to see that, I then started to see, oh, relationships are literally a portal for growth. And this works in even the relationship you might be in right now, which might not be a committed relationship, Or maybe it is. But when you are wanting something from somebody else, what's happening is you might be learning the letting go technique, 'cause if you let go, then you'll get them back. You'll have them come back to you. And it's a version of control that's being infused into reality. And often when somebody finally lets go and they start focusing on themselves, they start focusing on their purpose, they start focusing on what brings them joy, and they start to fill up their own cup, that's when all of a sudden this person might come back. But the lesson might not be for you to just come back to it. It might be to say no to that energy and to start choosing yourself. Now, what a lot of people don't realize too when it comes to this dynamic is to even be in a relationship that's like a situationship or relationship that maybe doesn't resonate at the deepest level, you may have had to abandon yourself at multiple different parts of the journey to even be with them. You might had to have talked yourself into them or not seen their red flags or like completely shifted the way that you view it just so you could be in relationship with them. So what happens is you've already abandoned yourself and you see the deeper core thing of this entire video that we're really talking about here when it comes to attaching to other people and why they want you, et cetera, et cetera, is that when you stop abandoning yourself, that's when people will attach themselves to you. That's the truth. When you are not attached to whether people like you or not, when you are not attached to whether someone's validating you or not, you won't be abandoning yourself. So think about this. You think about somebody you like a lot. right? Think you got two people here. One likes you a lot and you're not interested in them. One may not like you, may not show you affection or anything, but you might like them. They're in a room and imagine they're in two different rooms. You go in one room with the guy that you're not, or the girl that you're not attracted to, but really likes you. You give yourself permission to be you. You give yourself permission to express the real you. You don't care whether they like you or not. The stakes aren't super high for you to be a certain way. So what happens is what you end up doing is you end up just being yourself. And when you're not abandoning you, you're more attractive. So think about that energy. Now take the other side of the experiment. You bring yourself into the room where there's the guy that you really like that might not be showing you affection. And then all of a sudden, What happens? You get all weird. You start being a weirdo. You start saying things as a mechanism. You start saying things to get them to like you. You start overanalyzing every little micro movement you make. You get your posture up. You're trying to do your, you've stopped being you and you've started performing. And then you say, why is it when I'm in that room over there, the guy that I don't like or the girl that I don't like likes me? Well, you're being yourself. You're not having the stakes super high 'cause you don't care. You're not attached. But the person over here, you start performing and you start being a certain way and you make it weird. So really the common denominator is that the reason people attach to you when you're not attached to them is because when you're not attached to them, you're just being really you. You're not being a weirdo. And by the way, if you own being weird, it's not so weird. You can accept these parts of yourself. So I'm not saying it's weird. What I'm saying is performing is like kind of weird and being and trying to come off a certain way and wanting something from them. So do you see energetically here what this is really about? It's about your ability to come back to you. So where do you lose yourself? And where do you allow yourself just to be the real you? Like if you were to imagine yourself going into like a kindergarten to talk to like 50 kids and give a little talk or something, what comes up in your body? Are you like, what are they gonna think of me? I don't know about this. You're probably not having all this weird energy come up where you think you have to be a certain way, et cetera. But imagine you go into a room to give a talk to 50 adults peers of yours or people even that are on an energetic hierarchy that are, I don't know, doctors or lawyers or something and you want their approval or validation. Imagine you go into that room, you have to give a presentation. What comes up in your body now? Probably start sweating a little bit. Oh, I don't know about that. From one to the other, one, you'd probably give yourself permission not only be the real you, but to be like the inner child you that you may have never given yourself permission to be. And then the other one, who do I need to be to get the lawyers and the doctors to like me? I will be this way. And guess what? A lot of resistance. You're not being yourself. You care what they think. So am I saying go around and view everybody as like a little kindergarten? Not necessarily. Although at the deeper core, when you walk around, like sometimes when I'm, I'll go to the beach, I'll go to Santa Monica Beach sometimes and I'm going up and down and you've got people with toys on the side and they're trying to sell their action figures and stuff and people with art and then you got people dancing, you got someone doing comedy. I mean, you got basically everybody is just a kid anyways. We all have an inner child that's running most of our lives and we just wanna be seen and heard Do we just wanna be connected, but we don't give ourselves access to this inner child? And most people, that's why I say, I'm not saying in a demeaning way, see everyone as like below you, but everyone has like an inner child. And when you begin to connect to your own inner child and see everyone as versions of kids, it could be very freeing. That's really what we all are anyways. We're just pretending to be grownups. but deep down there's a curiosity, there's an energy that takes out this authority hierarchy that's making you weird around people. So one of the most freeing things for you to realize is that if you're trying to detach to get them to attach to you, is that's not what this is about. That's a control mechanism that you use as a way to get someone's validation or approval because you believe you must abandon yourself to please other people, to get something from them. You believe that you must manage their tension or change what they think about you for you to feel different about you. This is one of the most freeing things you can realize about your energy is what this is really about is you no longer abandoning you. Now, this means expressing yourself at times that you would normally hold it back because you're afraid of someone else's reaction. That may result in more connection and bigger depth with people. This may be some, that's how my relationship actually began was from a vulnerable conversation, from years of being friends with somebody to having a vulnerable conversation that then sparked a whole new deep level of connection. There was a chance that expressing that could have made it weird for both of us. That's why we didn't have the conversation for like a year prior to it happening. There were thoughts of it, but like, nope, we don't wanna chance it. But then eventually what we did is we had that conversation and it allowed more depth. Think about that with setting boundaries around people. You might be afraid to do that, but guess what? When you do that, you're expressing the real you. You're not abandoning yourself and someone else's tension is not your tension to manage. In an interesting way, you just might be projecting onto them that there are a whole bunch of lawyers and doctors in a room. So setting boundaries with lawyers and doctors feels like feels weird. It's not weird. It's just that you're projecting hierarchy onto them. You're projecting authority onto them. And when I started to see that we are all at the equal playing field, no one's above or below, that's freedom. That's when you can really give yourself permission to be the real you. And a lot of the challenge with you wanting validation or approval for someone you think super hot and attractive is that you are projecting onto them a lot of importance. You are projecting onto them qualities that put them on a pedestal instead of realizing that they're people. They're just normal people that have patterns just like you and me. But if you project that onto them, they will feel that energy and subconsciously they will rebel against that energy. But really all they're doing is they're feeling that weird energy underneath the surface. So the deeper question is, can you become more comfortable with you? Can you begin to get to the root of you feeling more comfortable inside of your own body? Give yourself permission to express the real you. Give yourself permission to really feel, see, hear, and nurture that inner child part of you that you may have neglected forever ago for who you believe you needed to be in order to be loved or approved of. If you want a meditation that will help you to release attachment that you have and to learn how to raise what's called your dominant vibration, which I know sounds like an esoteric idea, one of my most popular meditation has over 3 million views. Do this meditation for 21 days and watch how much your energy changes as you begin to shift into this energy from the inside out. Check out this meditation right here.