Why you don't feel good enough...and how to fix it

One of the biggest blocks that people have is around not feeling good enough. They feel like they're not worthy of love. They feel like they're not worthy of abundance. They feel like they're not worthy of new synchronicities and new opportunities coming into their life. And they wonder, how do I change this feeling? How do I feel worthy of these new things coming into my life? Well, one of the things that will block you more than anything else is having stored shame inside of your body, feeling I am not good enough, there is something wrong with me. Because even then, when you get into a new relationship, if underneath the surface you feel there's something wrong with me, that person is eventually gonna feel that energy underneath the surface. It may end up sabotaging you. It may end up blocking you from the natural love that you could experience in your life because there's a certain level of toxic shame that is underneath the surface. Well, in this video, I'm gonna show you how to go deep into understanding what toxic shame is, how to let it go step by step, some of the most important and powerful processes that I've applied in my life to start finally feeling whole and complete. This will change the way people respond to you. This will change how you energetically show up. And this will change how you also deal with your own emotions and understanding them from a completely new point of view. The thing with shame is that it's going to negatively impact your life and even positively impact your life. What if shame is a mechanism that we use in our reality to get ourselves to, in a way, connect to something greater than ourselves, to get ourselves out of separation consciousness? To get ourselves to point ourselves to the divine. Now, very often what people believe they wanna do is they say, I don't want to feel the shame, but the very reluctance to feel the shame is the parts where we then hide ourselves from an emotion that we actually feel. So the way that you actually heal the shame is you allow yourself to feel the shame. Now, what will we normally do to not feel shame? What we normally will do is we'll put on a front. We'll put on and we'll try to be who everyone else wants us to be because we're afraid of feeling that degree of shame. We're afraid of feeling that negative emotion. So what we end up doing is we end up modifying ourselves. We end up maybe not being vulnerable and putting on a nice, like, positive attitude all the time because we're afraid of certain negative emotions that we might actually feel. Now, the thing with shame is that it's an emotion that says I'm broken or there's something wrong with me. And what it is, is as a kid, I think it was a form of survival mechanism that we had where we internalized everything growing up. If you were, for example, between 0 to 7 years old and your parents divorced, think about it. You're primarily in a theta state of brainwave activity. That means you're just absorbing the energy of your environment. So what happens is as kids, we don't have the intellectual understanding of why our parents divorced. You as an adult may look and say, my parents divorced because they weren't right for each other. Mom wanted this, dad wanted this, they didn't get along and they argued. Well, as a kid, our parents arguing or our parents divorcing is because we did something wrong. It's because we weren't good enough. You see, our parents growing up are a form of our connection also. They're like gods to us. They're literally these gigantic beings that are multiple times our size. And we at all costs don't wanna believe that there's any flaw whatsoever with mom and dad because they're our basis for survival. So as a kid, subconsciously what we do is instead of thinking that mom and dad don't have things figured out, as an adult we might know that, but as a kid, We decided in theta brainwave state, there's something wrong with me. That was safer to believe than the caregivers that I have that are my basis for survival are flawed. We don't wanna think that. We don't wanna believe that. We internalize everything. Think about even as a 2-year-old or even growing up, it's like we're in me consciousness. We're in toddler consciousness. It's all about me. So the things that happen in our life are a reflection of something that we then internalize. Then we have that emotion, that shame, the belief I'm broken, there's something wrong with me on the inside. And one of the cures to shame is vulnerability. It's being able to express and to realize that everybody has shame. Makes you feel not so alone, doesn't it? When you realize that everybody has shame, you could take the people that look the most confident people, you could take Leonardo DiCaprio, Guaranteed he has certain level of shame that we could probably relate to. Even though everything on the external looks perfect, right? He's the most successful, he's successful here, he does all this stuff, blah, blah, blah. A lot of times, most of the most successful people in the world have a certain level of shame that propelled them to then take action, that propelled them to then become successful. Now there's a big shift that happens when instead of focusing on letting shame drive you for success, you start to get pulled in the direction of the divine. Because I believe shame and the belief that we're broken also allows us to point towards the whole, to unity consciousness and to God, the divine. And when we are focused in that direction, there's a whole new degree of energy that we have at our disposal. That then we allow ourselves to align with something that's greater than ourselves. So it's like when I get into a flow state making videos, for example, a lot of times there's not an understanding of exactly what's happening. It's just a flow state that's coming through, but it's something greater than myself that I kind of like have flow through so I can add value to other people because other people are another aspect of me. We're all connected. So you could say that shame in a certain way, hides in the dark. And when you are vulnerable and you actually express the real you, you allow some of that shame to dissipate. You allow yourself also to feel it. This is why one of the most powerful ways I believe to release shame is to have a certain form of breathwork practice that you can go into. This could be also just a breathwork ceremony that you could go through that could completely transform your life. Some of that shame also might not even be your own. When I got certified in breathwork, it was about a year and a half ago. And when I was going through the process on, it was a 4-day process to get certified, about 8 hours a day. I had to go through the breath certification and actually go through the breathwork 2 times. And I'd been through it before. I'd seen many people transform through breathwork before, but to get certified in it meant I had to go through it myself. And one of the things that happened is one of the most powerful experiences of my life actually wasn't even plant medicine or anything, it was actually breathwork. And what happened was I was in this experience of getting certified and I had to receive. And one of the things that happened is I was in with about 20 other people getting certified, but I was laying down receiving breathwork. There's music playing, breath holds happening. And during one of the rounds, I could feel myself bubble up wanting to cry, wanting to release emotion. But there was something inside of me that was holding me back from doing it. And then what happened was shame. See, you have blocks. You can't cry. There was shame there. There's something wrong with you. Some other people, you have other friends that can cry really easily. You've got repressed energy where there's something wrong with you. Well, what happened was, interestingly enough, there was a gentleman that walked by that saw that I was having like trouble, like getting onto the verge of actually crying. And he came down and he said to me, "It's okay to feel, dog." That's what he said. He said, "It's okay to feel, dog." And when he said that, there was this outpouring of emotion where I actually started to actually cry, but there were no tears. So once again, I'm like crying, feeling this release of energy, but there's no tears, a little bit of shame. See, you're not actually crying. But then what happened is the second round, it's about a 40-minute experience, about 10 minutes in, there's the second round of going into another round of breathwork. There was this woman that was laying in front of me who had obviously had some form of trauma that I knew was very similar to my mom's trauma. And what happened is she screamed, and that scream I knew was connected to a certain type of trauma that my mom had. And in that moment of me being close to and seeing this woman and hearing this woman scream, there was this connection to this energy from my mom that was inside my own body. In that moment, I had a huge release of energy. I was crying with tears. I had tears pooling up inside of my ears and then going to the side. There were so much tears. It was like a release where I'd cry during movies and stuff, like a little bit, like tear up, but this was like a complete different energy that was releasing out of my body. And it was a huge breakthrough of emotional availability for me. It was a huge expansion throughout my own heart of feeling completely different after that. And my whole entire life reshaped after that experience. Literally for weeks, my whole entire life reorganized. But the reason I share this is 'cause the shame you feel, you think is yours, may not even be your own. Most likely, your parents felt that shame growing up and it was passed down to you in certain different ways. And then it was something that you felt you had and you felt it had to do with you. It was personalized towards you. And one of the most powerful ways to break out of the shame is to realize that it might not be yours, but you don't have to be afraid of it. You can find comfort in knowing that everybody has a certain level of shame. It's a thing that is connected to our collective consciousness. And one of the most powerful ways I found in talking about breathwork, which by the way, if you wanna go through the most powerful breathwork experience that I've ever been through, I got certified in this process. There's an hour and a half ceremony that you go through for free in my community called High Vibe Tribe. There's a whole breathwork thing you can listen to there with music. I can't put it on YouTube because of the music that's in it and stuff with copyright. But if you wanna check it out, top description box below, go through that and see how different you feel as a result. And realize that one of the biggest things to understand with shame is that there's nothing wrong with you. It's perfect that you even feel it. But ironically enough, the more you let you feel it, the more that it begins to dissipate from your body and the more emotionally free you feel. So if guilt is an emotion that you're dealing with that's keeping you maybe in lower vibrational states of consciousness, understand that guilt and shame are two different emotions. Shame is identity-based. I am flawed. There is something wrong with me. Guilt is more action-based. I did something wrong. So I might not be flawed, but I did something wrong, or, you feel responsible for someone else's emotions. You feel responsible for something that you did. So this understanding of how to heal shame and guilt is also around understanding your own identity and how you internalize what has happened. So a lot of times people that have trouble or feel stuck in guilt are people that feel responsible for other people's emotions and energies. Think about it as a kid, a survival mechanism you may have had is you expanded your sense of self to include other people. And then you said, who do I need to be to make other people happy? So then what happens is if someone else feels tension, it feels like your tension because you've expanded your field to include theirs. So you then feel responsible. So guilt and shame are both emotions that will keep you in limitation, and that will keep you from being your most true self. Now, the key though is to actually allow yourself to feel it and to realize that as you own it and as you feel it within your energy field, you then allow yourself to process it, to let it go so that it doesn't have so much power over you. If you don't have the awareness of what guilt is doing, you may find yourself tethering to other people's frame quite often. You might feel like I'm an empath who can feel other people's energies and I can't set boundaries with someone Why? Because your tension is my tension. So I feel responsible for your emotion and energy. I feel responsible for mom and dad growing up and the tension that was in the household. A lot of times the eldest child may also feel this way. If they feel very responsible for everyone else in the family and any tension that's there. If you felt like you had to parent your kids, a lot of times certain levels of codependency can be reflective of needing that validation or approval or needing to parent mom and dad, it's a reversal of roles that you can end up also then having a lot of resentment towards later in life. Resentment towards having to be the parent to your parent and not having that ability to feel seen, heard, soothed, and nurtured. So one of the most powerful ways to heal when it comes to guilt or to shame is to understand what the emotions are doing but also to meet the inner child part of you that feels that way. Some of the most powerful work I do in coaching is helping people understand the mother, father, child dynamic. And one of the things we do is realize that there is an inner child part of you that feels shame. There's an inner child part of you that feels guilt, that feels responsible. And when you do a guided meditation and you begin to connect to that inner child part of you that is literally stuck in the timeline, you then feel a relaxation through your own nervous system. So there might be an inner child part of you that's still 2, 3, 4 years old when your parents divorced that may feel like this is my fault. And one very powerful thing for you to do is in a visualization, in a meditation, to look into the eyes of that part of yourself to imagine what they're wearing, to imagine their mentality or how they're looking at you, and to ask them what they need from you, and to be present with them, and to send them the love and the encouragement, and knowing that it's not their fault, to let them know that you're there with them, that they're no longer alone. That can help you to not feel alone in the process and to release that shame that's inside of your body. It's the inner child work that you do that can completely transform your life on the inside out. So with the breathwork, by the way, that's in the High Vibe Tribe, there's also an inner child meditation that will also help you get to the core of what this is so that you completely heal from the inside out.