Why you must become a BAD PERSON to be Magnetic

To become the most magnetic version of you, it will require you to feel like you are becoming a quote-unquote bad person. And I would say the degree to which you can embrace being this quote-unquote bad person is the degree to which you create immense breakthroughs in your own life, the degree to which you are more magnetic and in your life, the degree to which you are in your own frame and therefore have a more magnetic quality where people gravitate towards you despite the fact you've become a bad person with air quotes. So when I say bad person, understand that when people can feel other people's energies, when people are considered to be empaths, what I am suggesting you do, you will literally feel like you are doing something wrong. You will feel like you are a quote unquote bad person when in fact you are actually becoming more authentic. I believe many times people that may have experienced a certain level of tension in the household growing up or maybe had a certain parental figure in their life that maybe was controlling or anger, maybe decided, "I am not gonna be like this person," or, "I need to be the opposite of this person in order to soothe them so that I feel safe." So there's a feeling that if I assert myself at any level, I am being bad. If I give anyone else tension or I set boundaries with anyone, I am being bad, and I don't want to spiral down into being like this person from my past because that was bad. But understand that many times you end up suppressing an authentic part of yourself by avoiding the shadow of that part of you. Now, for example, when I look to someone like my dad, who's a very quote unquote, I don't know what you'd call it, like a nice guy, someone that goes with the flow. In his business, he's very good at what he does. He's a fire investigator, takes it very seriously, been very good at it for a very long time. And he's very assertive in his business. But when it comes to his dynamics of his personal life, he very much attracted my ex-stepmom. Who was controlling and manipulative and very assertive and maybe even in an aggressive way, but nonetheless, they attracted each other for a certain period of time. Now, growing up, being around my ex-stepmom, she was very controlling, very angry, and it was never really good enough. No matter what you did, it was kind of the wrong thing. There was a lot of tension with her for all of us, including my dad. Now, in an interesting way, that has allowed me to go into being more comfortable with tension. Now, in childhood, it was bad to be in trouble, bad to be in that tension. However, I could see that my dad, who would just, who would say things like, I just don't wanna deal with it. Now, my dad divorced her when I was 17 years old, and then my brother and I had all this freedom. However, because my dad has, kids with her, he's had to deal with her for many years. They're divorced, but nonetheless, I can definitely tell that there was a lot of lessons in there for him to stand up for himself, to lean into tension and to learn something. There's a reason he attracted her. Now, the disowned part, if you look at the narcissist and the empath dynamic, The disowned part of the self is what the other one possesses. So for the empath, this person that can feel the other people's energies, they're attracted to this person that's very strong in their own frame, even though it might be a toxic frame of reality. But nonetheless, this person's very assertive, very appears to be sure of themselves. The person just gets what they want. They make it happen. And then on the narcissist side or this controlling side, this other person is very thoughtful, will put up with their energy, and also is very considerate of others. So considerate of others, considerate to self at the expense of the opposite. So the empath will abandon itself to make and to help the narcissist and will put up with that energy because it's maybe been normalized. However, for the empath or the person that could feel other people's energies to actually start to be selfish, that's part of the key. Now, what they think of as selfish, they will think of as bad. But selfish means also not abandoning yourself, meeting your own needs, Standing up for yourself, saying and expressing how you feel, drawing boundaries with the other person. Do you see what I mean when I say to become a bad person means to integrate your shadow? Everyone has a dark side. And the degree to which you are able to embrace that dark side is the degree to which you integrate the past and heal. When I began going through this transformation back in 2019, 2020-ish, There was an aspect of myself that I had to let go of. I had to let go of this part of myself that was very easygoing. This part of myself that went with the flow, similar to the dad pattern. And what I found is as I started to express how I felt, as I started to set boundaries with people and to choose authenticity over validation or approval, I started to respect myself more. I remember specifically having certain conversations where I had to reorganize a certain dynamic in friendships, different dynamics, and that meant expressing how I felt and also setting the frame. Listen, this wasn't okay. I'm not comfortable with this. If you wanna be in friendship, then this can't keep happening. Things like that. And if there was something going on and I didn't want to do something, it was just being upfront, not sugarcoating things. Saying no more easily. As I started to say no more often, as I started to show the parts of myself, even when it came to dating, that was another thing. I would from the front, from the, like the get-go, show exactly who I am and not be afraid of that, knowing that if somebody doesn't resonate with it, it's good, it's okay. It's actually good in a way to be rejected in the sense that anytime you get that quote unquote rejection, you are reestablishing within yourself that you have your own frame and that you have your own standards. And they say rejection is redirection, but understand that that saves you time. Like there's someone that you wouldn't resonate with, and what that does is it buys you back the time and energy to go put it into yourself, which is selfish from certain perspectives, but nonetheless more magnetic. So when you think of someone that's magnetic, you most likely think of someone that's in their own frame of reality. You think of someone that's not attached to someone else. And here's the thing, some people will consider you that quality a bad person quality, to be quote unquote selfish and to not need anything from anyone else. Now, the thing to realize is what you're really breaking is the codependency on caring what other people think, the codependency and the attachment, which is not love to begin with. So let's kind of relook at this whole dynamic of what is bad. Let's say this, leaning into tension, Tension is not bad. If you have other people that feel tension because you're expressing the real you, it's not your responsibility to mitigate their tension. I've gone through something interesting in the family when my mom passed away. She passed away a little over a year ago. Oh no, under a year ago, any, from the time of recording this video. However, when that happened, there was a lot of chaos in the family. I'm the oldest out of all my siblings, and there was a responsibility that I felt to manage a lot of the situation. I'm also the most successful one in the family, so the one with the most abundance to like help take care of this. And of course, there's taking care of things financially and then taking care of things emotionally. However, one of the dynamics that was interesting was that there was definitely in the beginning this guilt. Like I felt so bad, not that it was my fault or anything, but I felt like it was my responsibility to manage all of this out. Now what happened is for 4 to 6 months, I was supporting many people, many dynamics of this whole situation. And eventually what I realized was that it wasn't helping them. You don't just give people resources and money and they figure things out. It was actually having them stay stuck in their patterns. And from a certain entitlement perspective, it's like, well, Aaron is so successful, he should just do this. At one point, one of my siblings said, oh, we're gonna move. We need to move where you live or where one of my other brothers live 'cause we all need to be together for the next like year or two. I'm like, no. I have 3 siblings, by the way, the youngest one's like 28, they're adults. But there was definitely an energy between my mom and them where she was kind of caretaking of them and there was a certain codependent energy where then when she passed away, it was like, who's gonna be this energy? And they're looking at me as the successful brother. Well, what happened is the more that I started to step into my own frame and realize that wasn't helping, the more assertive I had to be. And that was one of the last threads because it's so, sometimes it could be hard with family because it's family. And there's guilt there, or there's like responsibility. But at a certain point, I realized it wasn't helping. I pulled back my energy. And what sometimes can happen is with certain people, you may become more of the villain. You may become the person that is then the bad person. You're the bad person because you're being firm. You're the bad person because you are being assertive and you're no longer taking on the responsibility of other people's things, but you express that, you're not doing it out of guilt. So one thing that I had to realize is that I had to lean into that and actually say, you know what? I'm not being my ex-stepmom because I'm being assertive or I'm letting people learn their own lesson or I'm pulling back from supporting, you know, multiple people in my family and I'm letting them learn it on their own, especially as adults. I'm not gonna rob them from that lesson. So what I've learned is the more I'm in that energy of expressing what's actually real for me and what I actually feel is gonna help them, I've been more in my own frame, more empowered and more magnetic. That also leaks into other areas of my life. Where I'm more assertive when it comes to friendships, business relationships, dating, everything, because I'm more in my own frame and there's not that fear around being the real me. I accept myself and I don't need the acceptance of other people to feel validated or worthy. But from a certain perspective, that would be a bad thing, a bad person. So understand that for you to really become the most empowered magnetic version of you, it may require you to step into your own frame and to be, quote, "bad," a bad person. But a bad person is just a concept. You maybe have disowned a certain aspect of one of your family members. You may have disowned the empowered part of you because it's dark. You perceive it as dark. There's this book that's called "Relentless." It is on the coach, I think it's something Glover is his name, and he coached Kobe Bryant, he coached Michael Jordan and D-Wade. They're all amazing basketball players, Michael Jordan being the best basketball player of all time. And what he talks about is that there's these different categories of basketball players. And what he says is there's something called a closer, a cleaner, and a cooler. There's the three different temperaments of basketball players. Now, a closer is someone that in the right moment can make the shot they need to make. The closer's the person at the end of the game, they're down by two and someone needs to make a three, you give it to that person, they can close it out. But they only really perform when it's the moment that they need to perform. Then you have a cooler. A cooler, I believe, I don't remember completely as much of what a cooler is as the other, as the other two that I'm about to explain, 'cause they're not as important. I think a cooler is someone that in certain moments maybe performs well. It's a little bit less cool than the closer and definitely a lot less cool than the cleaner, but the cooler's not as good. The cleaner though, a cleaner is someone that is relentless and that is always putting pressure on themselves. Someone that is always, I think the cooler is someone that's like has a lot of talent but doesn't put a lot of pressure on themselves. So they need external pressure to like perform. Whereas the cleaner is like a Jordan, it's like a D-Wade, it's like a Kobe Bryant. It's someone that is just relentless on winning, always putting pressure on themselves. Now what this author says is that certain players that we think are the best, like LeBron James, for example, He's one of them that he says he's more of a closer than a cleaner. They need— it's almost like they need to be down and he needs the— it's not always on like it was for Jordan and Kobe Bryant and D-Wade. Now it's just like a different mentality. But one of the things he said about these people, the cleaners, is that they all have a dark edge. They have a dark side. Michael Jordan is extraordinarily competitive. He's got maybe a gambling thing where he just gambles. That was a big controversy back in the day, his gambling. He's just so competitive. Kobe Bryant, super edgy, super competitive. D-Wade, same thing. You look at someone like Kobe, someone like Tiger Woods, one of the best golfers of all time. When he was golfing, he had this extreme dark side that he had to kind of compartmentalize because of his childhood. I watched a documentary on it, super fascinating. They all have a dark side. That dark side also helps them to grow. From the perspective of the audience, they may look at it and go, "He's got a dark side. This is so negative. I can't believe he is like this." However, I'd say that dark side may be necessary component for them to be the best in the world at what they do. Maybe not necessary in the sense that they need to be in that trauma, but it probably led them to being as great as they are. But the reason I say this is that you can embrace your dark side. You can embrace the tension. There's probably an aspect of yourself that maybe you could begin, I'm not saying be toxic, I'm not saying gaslight people, I'm not saying tell people off all the time, and I'm saying express the real you. Embrace the part of yourself you've been disowning. Understand that a quote unquote, you setting your, being assertive or setting boundaries does not mean you're gonna turn into some toxic person from the past. You have more awareness than that. Now I do have a complete section in a free course that I have called High Vibe 101 that shows, called the Frame Technique, shows you how to get in your own frame of reality, how to feel safe in your own body, how to set boundaries easily. It comes with a meditation and a workshop. It's completely free. And there's a $1,000 course called High Vibe 101. You wanna check it out, click the link below. It's in my free community called High Vibe Tribe. And also, if you want a video that's gonna show you how when you send it, when you think of people, you send them energy, it's one of my most popular newer videos. I'm gonna go ahead and put that video right here. Check this out for a more esoteric point on understanding your energy and how you send it out without even knowing it. Here you go. When you are thinking of someone else, you are sending them energy.