Why your future self is calm and that's the whole secret

If you could see this video, take it as a sign that if you were to be more calm towards what you want to experience in your life, if you were to see it as natural for your identity, you would begin to bring more of it into your life. I know this because I have seen it happen over and over again, not only in my life, to where I was able to work a 9-to-5 job to do what I love within 6 months. And by the time I became this version of me, it was normal. It was familiar. It was more calm. But I've also seen thousands of people do it over the years from running live events, coaching programs, etc. So I have seen the difference from this one shift that when you make will completely transform your energy from the inside out. So in this video, I'm going to show you why your future self is calm, how you can actually bring this into your body now, and I'm going to show you the things that shift around that will change completely everything about your life. Now, even as you watch this video right now, Think about something that you have wanted in the past, and maybe you can see that that version of you that wanted it, that version of you that was trying to get it, you can see that that is a very different energy than the version of you that already has it. It's a different energy than the version of you that is already in the energy of it. So look at these two differences right here energetically. And if you think of your future self, your future self, it is not amazing on a pedestal to be in abundance. Your future self is not amazing and on a pedestal for you to be in a loving relationship. So when you begin to see that it is normal, you can then see that maybe what has been blocking you from actually experiencing it in your life is that the eagerness and the desire that is under the surface is actually an energy that says, this thing over here is not equal to my identity. I remember for a long time there were certain things that I wanted to attract in my life, whether it's, for example, going on certain podcasts whether it's meeting certain people. And subconsciously, they'd be like, oh, that would be so cool. And it was this thing that would be something that, like, almost if that were to happen, it would mean something about me. And this is where we're gonna get— and this isn't some manifestation video of like how to get and just embody the energy of your future self. We're also going to look at what is even motivating the desire itself for you to get the thing that you believe is on the outside. What's very interesting is when I look at myself and for a long time wanting to run live events, to travel the world, I would visualize it, I would imagine it, and it would feel exciting. But what I noticed is that there was a little bit of an identity gap between me embodying it me visualizing it and me embodying it. And one of the coolest things that I've recognized with the more reps that I've put in to the future self version of me that run— that runs more live events is that when I run live events now, the nerves are almost completely gone. It is natural and it is normal for me to be doing so. And when I am doing so too, I am in a flow state. There is something greater than me flowing through. And what happens is I'm able to actually have fun coaching people. I'm actually able to have fun in the unknown at live events where I might be bringing people up, coaching them in front of a group, and I'm really in the unknown with people. And because there's an intention of adding value, because there's an intention of having fun, because there's an intention of connecting, it's like there's a greater flow of energy that comes through. And what I notice is when I'm in that energy and that state of consciousness, there are more opportunities and there are more abundant things I perceive of because of the energy that I'm in. You could even say that when I'm in that flow state, when I'm in that energy, it's like my energy is literally more magnetic. The interesting thing about this is that if you were to compare that energy to an energy of trying to get there, an energy of really wanting it and desiring it, these are two different energies. One comes from lack and desire, one comes from embodiment and being it. Now, the thing is, for this thing to become familiar, one of the things I had to do is I had to go through an initiation process, baby. I had to join a fraternity and I had to get hazed. Okay, I'm just kidding about that. But the initiation into— from this you into this you is recognizing that the calm will come. The calm will come when you've put in the reps, baby. You gotta put in those reps. It's, it's, it will one day become familiar to you, okay? This is the thing to realize about the future self version of you, which by the way, the paradox of the whole dang thing is that the future exists now. So it's not really your future self. It's the version of you that you want to be in the future. But the future doesn't exist. It's all here now. It's simply about you giving yourself permission to be it now, to put the reps in now. And as you do all that now, you begin to embody the energy of it and eventually it will become calm to your nervous system. It's like I remember when I first started to make more and more videos online It was weird. I'm looking into a camera. I told myself a story. This camera's not a person. And then eventually I switched that. I was like, oh, this is a way of me connecting to a lot of people. And there's a lot of people on the other side of this. If you're watching this video right now, you're one of those people. And I get to connect with you through this, which I think is so cool. I reached— I looked at it in a different way. Then I put in a rep. I put in a rep, I put in a rep, and one day I said, oh my gosh, this is familiar, this is normal. So one day it became— it became calm one day, it became normal one day because I put in the reps. But there was a little bit of cringe. You got to get through the identity gap of cringe. This is the key. I applied this then to going from YouTube onto running live events. I remember the nerves I would feel before I would go live on stage in front of hundreds of people. And many times I do a 3 to 4 day live experience with zero planned content. I don't have any scripts of what I'm talking about, nothing. The energy, the flow state comes through, then I'm present to the moment and then magic happens. Because it's an energy greater than me and it flows through. But what happened is the more I did that, the more I learned to trust. Not in me, in Aaron Doughty, who can speak for 3 days straight with no planned content. Hahaha, I feel so good. No, it's something greater that flows through, and my job is to get into the flow state. My job is to trust the space. To trust the people's nervous system that are attracted to my live events. And I'm not kidding you, the degree to which I can surrender to that is the degree to which magic happens, because a shift happens. And what happened is now I put in the rep, I put in the rep, put in a rep, I put in a rep, and I did live event after live event for like 2 or 3 years. And literally now I'll go to get on stage and it's like That nervous feeling's not there, it's excitement. And I knew, I said, one day I'm going to miss the nerves. And now if I look at that too, I could probably say that, you know, I generally will run events anywhere between, um, up to like 300 people. 300, 400 people is like kind of like the sweet zone of like the familiar zone. I could get to— I, I, I, it's possible that when I do an event, which one day it will come, that I do an event with thousands of people, what happens is that might bring up the nerves. That might then be the stretch experience, and it will feel not so calm for a moment, but eventually through reps it will become calm. So the thing to understand is that on one hand, there's an embracing of the journey that is here. To allow you to become your future self now, in recognizing that with repetition it will eventually be calm. But now we're going to go a little bit deeper into our childhood stuff. Are you ready? Are you ready? Here we go. What is motivating you to get from here to here? It could be somewhat passion, purpose, and meaning. It could also be to escape where you are because the pattern itself might be trying to get you somewhere else. What do I mean by this? We have that identity gap that we just mentioned. We also might have a pattern, and that pattern that normally was bred from childhood. Here's the one question that may help you become aware of what you really want and how you could begin to close this pattern gap. Are you ready? For example, if as a kid, who did you have to be as a kid to receive mom and dad's love and approval? This is a subconscious thing that when you become aware of will completely shift you and wake you up in a way unlike you've never experienced before. For me, it was like I had to be perfect. I had to be, um, ease the tension in the family. I had to fix other people. I felt responsible because I was the eldest son. So that's who I had to be to get by. I had to not really have needs either. And I had to like take care and be self-sufficient. So then what happens is as an adult, and there was also not, it wasn't normal to receive approval and validation. So as a kid, those things weren't, something that was normal and familiar. So subconsciously, there was a seeking of validation and approval from the outside in order to feel whole on the inside. So the pattern itself was running the show and was one of the things that's like, if I get this, then I'll be complete in the future. So there was a desire for, for this significance and validation. And when I became aware of this, I then realized that there was some inner acceptance and healing to do, to see, hear, soothe, and nurture that part of me that was seeking it in others because I hadn't given it to myself or healed and forgiven that energy from childhood. So if you look deeper at this as well, you think of fawn, fight, freeze, and flight. These are the 4 different nervous system responses. What happens is there's certain desires we have that are connected to the— these different patterns. So if you have a people-pleasing pattern or a hyper-independent self-reliant pattern, the way in which you bridge into your future self is through that pattern. Like, the belief for a long time with me is if I add value and fix a whole bunch of people on my channel mainly women, because women tend to fall into this kind of content more. But also, as a kid, that was the thing I felt I didn't have from mom or the ex-stepmom. So if I can fix them, then I'll feel enough. So it's in a way I was subconsciously projecting that energy onto the YouTube channel, and if I could add enough value, then I would be whole. So this is something that I had to look at inside myself and recognize that eventually that my worth is not connected to my ability to fix people. I have a saying that the pattern can technically get you to your desired result, but you won't be happy when you get there. So I have a saying, it's like the pattern that got you into where you are is not the pattern that gets you out. What I mean by that is if you have a pattern, like a part of yourself that's highly critical of yourself and judges, you may have had it as a kid to where mom and dad were so self-critical of you. So then you have an internalized viewpoint of that and you're hard on yourself. Well, what is the— what happens the moment you become aware of this pattern? What do you do? You probably judge it. You want to change it. You're ashamed of it. You change it so you can feel different. A big part of the healing work that I talk about and teach is actually in accepting it, accepting that instead of trying to change it. So that has been a huge shift for me, is recognizing that that's where the power really is, because the more I begin to process that emotion from the past and accept it, the more that energy then begins to leave my body. The more that I then begin to feel more free. Now, something I'm gonna be doing, by the way, in a few days is a 3-day identity shift challenge to show you how to become aware of your inner identity, how to feel more strong and centered in your own frame, how to release the processed emotion from the past, and how to create a shift in your life that ripples throughout other areas of your life. It's completely free. I'll go ahead and link it below if you want to join. It's gonna be on Zoom. Live meditations, breathwork teachings, and hot seat coaching for 3 days. It's going to be super powerful, so go and link that below. When you think of this process, here's a huge, huge insight that I, I can't believe it took me this long to get to. I have been over the last few days experiencing a massive shift in my consciousness, and it's had to come with actually slowing down and feeling more. It's had to come with me recognizing how often I will be in a state and trying to figure things out from the head, how much I can be doing pattern work or identity work. And it's like the intellect understanding it is very powerful, but there's a limitation to it. The limitation is that that becomes a mechanism to not feel. So what I've been doing in this consciousness shift is something that actually started, I'd get glimpses of it when I used to sell women's shoes. I remember I would go into Lifetime Athletic, this gym that I went to in Vegas, and I would go work out, and then I would drive to my job on the Strip at Barney's New York selling women's shoes. I'd dress into my suit, be on my way to work. And I remember that there were times where what I would do is when I was getting ready, I would really focus on feeling the clothes as I put them on, doing things methodical, 100% present to the moment, not trying to get anywhere else. And as I was like doing everything I did, 100% was present to the moment. And I would feel into my body more, I remember there was a crazy amount of like better results I would get. But the more I would enjoy it, the more present I was. And recently, what I recognize with YouTube and social media and all of the things that I'd be doing during the day with screen time, my eyes would wander a lot and I'd be focused on all these things. And that would scatter my mind. And I had this epiphany when my girlfriend actually brought in this video that was talking about this thing called Yap, this Yap videos. There's this chick on Instagram that's made millions of dollars selling a Yap video thing, Yap challenge thing. And one of it was like, look intently into the camera. It was like the advice. And that when you do that, it like people feel more present from you. But also you get into more of a flow state. I then— I heard that and something about it resonated because for a long time I would meditate with this candle, and it's what I do now. I meditate with the candle and my eyes focused on the candle flame. It like creates a centeredness inside of yourself, especially when you observe and not try to control. So then as I would focus on inside of the camera, I made a video right after learning that. That was one of my most powerful present videos that I made in a very long time. And I recognize that, like, I get much more alive when I'm maybe on a podcast or I'm talking to people. Part of it's because I'm looking into people's eyes and I feel connected. So my insight was, can I instead— when I'm doing something for my business, when I'm creating content, can I just focus on creating the content and being in it 100%? And that when I do that, it's like I'm more present. When I'm more present, I'm more calm. When I'm more calm, I believe you will feel that energy. If you can feel this energy right now, or the difference in my energy from past videos, can you like or comment the video and let me know? Just to show, maybe you can see there's something you could probably feel. People feel what you feel, and by the time you become the version of you that you want to be, it will feel calm and normal. It won't be this thing on a pedestal. That's why you have to get through the identity gap of cringe and put in the reps. That is your initiation into the new you. When I think of when I first got on YouTube back in, um, 2017. After 3 months, people would say, oh my gosh, Aaron, you have crazy willpower! How do you do it? How do you have so much willpower? And I would think, like, I've always been late, I've never really had crazy good willpower. But then I recognized, I'm like, what are you talking about? It's easy. There is no willpower needed once you are this version of you. Because you've adapted to the lifestyle. It's normal. It is easy. And I remember it was like, I eventually on YouTube, after 2 or 3 months of being full-time, I was 90 YouTube videos ahead. Imagine you log into my YouTube channel and you see thumbnail, title, videos, 90 of them, because I was making daily videos. And people like, oh my God, that's crazy. No, it's not. It's familiar. It's normal. It's easy. So when you think about these things, recognize that by the time you become it, it will be normal. Like recently, you'll see, will come out in a couple of weeks from now, is me on a podcast, one of the biggest podcasts in the world and in the self-development space. And I remember for years I'd wonder like, why do I get these podcast, like invitations to go on? Like I've been on some and I do, I get a lot of podcast invitations, but like, why not this one or this one? Eventually, what's funny is I completely let go of it and I'm like, I'm good either way. It's really not gonna make a huge difference in my, it's not gonna, it's not this thing on a pedestal. And then I find out actually months after I got the invitation that I've been invited on, I just didn't even, didn't even see it. But it was normal. It wasn't on a pedestal. When I think of like me becoming abundant, I remember thinking and feeling, working at my 9-to-5 job, thinking one day when I have this much money, it'll feel so different. When I'm traveling the world, doing what I love, it's going to feel so amazing. I'm gonna, I'm gonna buy a Lamborghini. I'm gonna do all these things. I don't think I ever thought I'd buy a Lamborghini, but like there's a part of me that's like, vision board, Lamborghini would be so cool. By time you become it, you— it's not, it's not a big deal. It's normal. It is normal for your nervous system. But there's that little identity gap you got to go through. And the degree to which you begin to heal the pattern from the past of why you think you want what you want, you then let go of the edginess and the sharpness around trying to get there because there is better. It's about embodying it here now. It's about getting into the energy now. That's why I focus on the flow state, letting something greater flow through, having fun with the process. The more I could take on not even just the identity of saying, 'I am full-time YouTuber now,' it was— I was just allowing it to flow through and choosing to express myself and get better with every video and learn. And 2017, then with live events, same thing. So your future self is calm, and if you were to bring more calm into your body, you would notice more opportunities coming into your life. Now for me, let me come back to the slowing down thing. There is now, when I do things, I focus on being in it 100%, not focusing on 3 or 4 things at once. When I'm in my relationships, friendships, or with my girlfriend, I am present when I'm listening. I'm not trying to change. It's a whole other video I can make as well, because through, uh, like a— almost like a coaching session with like a therapist where we're always like going deeper in our own like inner child stuff with my girlfriend, there's— we became aware of this like this pattern that we both had And learning how to integrate the other side of it has been pivotal. So if you want me to make a video on that, let me know. It's a little bit more personal and intimate, but you can comment below, let me know, or like the video. But for this, slowing down, being present, creating space, oh my God, it's like magic. And in that energy of the slowness, the opportunities come more into my awareness and solutions are more clear to me. So it's very magical the way that it works. So if there's 3 things you get out of this video, let it be normal for your nervous system. And one of the ways you do this is you begin to embody the emotions now by also getting to the core of what the pattern is and beginning to release the energy underneath the surface. Accepting the pattern, not trying to change it. And in that Identity Shift Challenge, that's what we're going to be really focused on. Accept the current, accept where you are instead of just trying to get somewhere else. Realize that the degree to which you can enjoy the present moment now and accept it is the degree to which you become more flexible in the reality that you're in and opportunities come into your life. Like a person that is single that wants to be in a relationship, but they've accepted that they're single and they're not trying to change to escape it. They're accepting the journey and that part of their journey. Those are the people that generally will attract love into their life. They are in acceptance. They may have— be having fun with the process. Lack of acceptance means you're trying to get somewhere else, and that means that that person that you meet is a means to your end to end your suffering. That's why it's— that's why it doesn't work so well. It's a projection of power onto them. Now, from there, recognize you can prime it now, but prime the flow state, prime God to flow through. And as you do, what you'll notice is that things really begin to change in your life in a very powerful way. Now, if you want a meditation, by the way, that can completely allow you to transform, to embody that energy now, one of the most powerful meditations I have is on raising your dominant vibration permanently. Read the comments to see what's possible. Do it for 21 days. You begin to wire in this future self in the visualization and make it normal for your nervous system. Listen to it for 21 days. I'll go ahead and link it right here.