In this self‑help video Aaron Doughty argues that many people get stuck in a "healing trap" – an identity that treats healing as a final destination you must reach before you are worthy of love, success, or any desired outcome. He explains how this mindset creates a perpetual cycle of self‑criticism, chasing, and attracting situations that reinforce the belief of being un‑whole. Doughty reframes healing as an ongoing, layered process that moves toward wholeness, encouraging viewers to recognize how far they have already come, embody the qualities they seek, and shift their vibration from "healing" to "wholeness." He outlines practical steps: acknowledging past progress, practicing gratitude, meditation, heart‑mind coherence, visualizing the healed self, and using breathwork. He shares his personal experience of becoming certified in a somatic release breathwork method, offers a free one‑hour breathwork ceremony through his High Vibe Tribe, and references a recent live event in LA where he discussed Mark Wollum’s book It Didn’t Start With You. The video concludes with a call to action to try the breathwork, reflect on personal growth, and move out of the healing identity into a state of wholeness to better manifest desired relationships and goals.
Chapters
What if all the healing you're doing is actually keeping you from attracting what you want into your life? What if it has become an identity to be the person that is healing, the person that needs fixing, the person that has to go deeper into their inner child stuff in order to heal? And what if that identity has become something that's been on autopilot that continues to attract situations into your life that aren't actually preferable. Now, very often we can get caught up in this trap. I call it the healing trap where we're healing and it insinuates that healing is some final destination that you will eventually get to. Eventually, you will get to the place where you are healed and then and only then, will you be worthy of a relationship? Once you do all your healing work, then you'll be able to start your business. And this is the same kind of trap, by the way, that I stayed in for 3 years before I got on YouTube. There was this personal development trap that I was in where I'm like, okay, I need to do more healing. I need to get better at being on camera, which ironically enough, I wasn't making videos. I was just like, I need to get more confident in my ideas. I need to learn how to edit. I need to do more work so that I can finally start making YouTube videos. And for 3 years, I'd say stuck in that personal development trap. Well, that personal development trap kept me stuck until I decided to start making YouTube videos. I realized that it was a process of becoming quote unquote better with every videos that I made which is also becoming more confident. Now, in the same way, you can apply this exact concept I'm talking about right now towards the healing journey. Because what happens is when we start doing shadow work and we start going through spiritual awakening, we might look at ourselves and be like, oh my gosh, there's so much stuff here. There's so much shadowy stuff. You might start looking into your childhood and be like, "Oh, I thought there wasn't a lot there, but now I'm seeing more and more things." And you start seeing more and more things, and then you start to believe and you start to feel the weight of, "There's so much stuff that's wrong with me." And what happens is that can keep us stuck. And what happens too is every time in the present moment right now, there's some type of challenge in your life, you might try to go into the inner child healing to find out where did this come from? Why is it here? And then you go into your childhood and guess what you're gonna find? More and more stuff that's heavy, reinfusing this belief, see, I'm not healed, I have so much stuff going on and I'm not worthy of that, of love, abundance, et cetera. Now, the main part of this video that I want to propose to you is that you can move from a state of believing that healing is some external destination you're gonna get to and instead realize healing is a process. Healing is something that there are different levels to that you go through as you are going through the process of healing. I can look back on every relationship I've been in and I can see that the relationships I've been in in the past have allowed me to heal, allowed me to go deeper within myself. And then what happens is if that relationship didn't work out, I would then meet someone else at the next level. And it was like, then we could go deeper and we were able to, I was able to look at different intimacy blocks or different power dynamics or whatever it was that was unhealed from the past, I was able to look at, heal through, but ultimately every single time focused on becoming more whole, focused more on what I wanted to bring into my life instead of just understanding why things are the way that they are. So you always attract a reflection of the healing you're doing inside of yourself. But understand, if you wait, you're prolonging your wholeness. If you're waiting, your wholeness is going to the future. It's similar to if you've heard me talk about the chasing. If you're chasing something, you're insinuating it's not here now. And what happens is you're waiting, you're waiting, you're waiting, And by waiting, waiting, waiting, the vibration of waiting is different than the vibration of being. Well, in the same way, the vibration of healing is a different vibration than wholeness. And what's interesting is when you start to feel the wholeness inside of yourself, you might start looking to your past childhood stuff and start seeing times where things were actually very whole, where you felt more complete. It's like in the present moment right now, whatever's active inside of your body, you can use your memories to find evidence of either wholeness or evidence of pain and trauma. And the more you activate it in your field, the more you might feel weighed down in the belief that you see there's something wrong with me. So one thing you wanna become aware of is how you may be chasing healing, maybe also this dopamine spike that you get And also it's reaffirming that you're not good enough, whole and complete where you are right now. So one of the most powerful insights that I've had during my healing journey was when I take a moment to realize how far I've actually come. I can look at it and see, wow, yeah, I went through this stuff when I was a kid and then I maybe attracted certain people that represented this dynamic. "But I was able to forgive this person and then my life shifted as an external reflection. And then I was able to learn meditation and that meditation really changed my life. I had the courage to also start being more vulnerable to expressing boundaries with people. Wow, I've come a long way." And as I start to come in that energy, there's this feeling of acceptance, this feeling of wholeness. That I start to realize within myself. And what's interesting about the process of attracting love is that if you begin to embody the qualities that you want to seek in the external, but you begin to embody them within yourself, you then become an energetic match to those qualities. So instead of the trap, of the healing trap or the self-development trap of believing I'm not whole and complete. I'm not good enough the way that I am and I need to improve personally, personal development. I need to develop myself personally to become better because where I'm at is not good enough. We end up keeping ourselves in cycles of shame. We end up keeping ourselves in cycles of feeling not good enough. And what I'm saying is that some of this may be a way of keeping familiarized levels of shame inside of the body. Of saying, "I'm not good enough, there's something wrong with me." And then we attract other people that also we can perceive of the wounds that they have, and then a feeling that it's reflecting back that there's something wrong with me. And what I'm saying is if we move from the vibration of healing into realizing first off that it's a process, there's always more and more healing because healing is the process to wholeness. But people hang on to this identity of, "I am not healed and I need to become healed." I am not good enough and I need to become good enough. And one of the most powerful insights you can have is when you start living into the energy of wholeness. And some powerful ways to do that is one, to recognize how far you've come, to recognize that you've been through some stuff, but you don't have to attach to the old identity. And sometimes that identity can also be something you get a payoff from, like, I'm a survivor. I went through crazy stuff in childhood and that can become something, a way of connecting to other people. I found that in myself at times where I'm vulnerable and I express some of the things I went through or some of the parts of myself that normally people don't share as a way of getting and feeling connected to other people. And then I start looking at that and I start realizing that I can connect more to myself. So one thing that you can learn throughout this process of healing is that you can let go of the belief that you can't be in a relationship until you're healed. Understand that you're never gonna be completely healed. It's a process. There's deeper and deeper layers. And the more deep you go with someone in an intimate partnership, the deeper layers come up. So understand it's a process to begin with. And there's always deeper layers for you to perceive of. So we can let go of the belief that I must completely heal in order to be good enough or I must completely heal in order to find love. You find it through the process of healing, which is the process to wholeness. So focus more on where can you begin to wire into your physiology more of feeling whole, of feeling free, And maybe that means feeling mind and heart coherence. Maybe that means envisioning and visualizing what the healed version of you looks, feels like, and acts like. And as you begin tapping into this version of you, you can begin literally merging it into your energy field. I believe meditation is very powerful for observing the thoughts, observing the emotions, observing the patterns. But then also at the same time beginning to wire in its place feelings of gratitude, of love, of joy. These are emotions that take up the space that was primarily being used before by the belief that I need to heal and I need to get somewhere else. So one question you might wanna ask yourself is, is feeling like you're not healed enough a way of staying in the healing trap or the personal development trap? And is there ways you can finally start to give yourself credit for how far you've come? Is there ways you can focus instead on wholeness, on wiring in more love, more joy, more peace? Gratitude is what unifies you with what you want to experience. And as you start letting go of the belief that you're flawed or the identity of having the heavy healing that needs to be done, you might find there's more acceptance there and you start to feel more emotionally free. Now, one of the most powerful modalities I have ever found for healing has been actually breathwork. I got certified in a specific process of breathwork. When I was getting certified, I had to go through it, completely transformed my life and allowed a lot of energy to release out of my body. And I started to feel more whole and complete. And one thing I have is I have a free 1-hour ceremony on this specific breathwork called somatic release breathwork for free in my High Vibe Tribe. If you want to listen to it for free, it can't be on YouTube because of the music that's in it. However, you can download it or you can click the link below, go inside High Vibe Tribe, you'll see the breathwork ceremony there. You can listen to it, go through the process, share about it and comment, let me know what your experience is. And other than that, if you wanna learn more about how you can really go deep into the healing of your inner child energy to understand the dynamics of the first 5 years of your life. I shared it at a recent live event that I did in LA. And I talk about Mark Wollum, who wrote the book, "It Didn't Start With You," what I learned in a session with him. I'm gonna go ahead and link this video right here. So empaths, people that can feel other people's energy, this is both a superpower and something
