You NEED To Be A BAD Person To Be Magnetic

really to be the most magnetic version of you, embrace being bad. Because what you think of as bad is not some villain like Voldemort from Harry Potter, right? Being bad is literally expressing yourself seems bad. And sometimes I think people that are empaths, they've had a quote unquote villain in their life earlier in life, someone playing the villain archetype. You had a narcissistic parent or somebody that had control over you, so life wasn't fair. So you had to fight for your freedom. Is this making sense? So what happened is you said, I don't want to be this person. I don't want to be anything like my— this person in my life that was bad, because this person that was bad caused me pain. I don't want to be like that. So instead, what I'm going to do is I'm going to be good. I'm going to be the good kid, the good person. I'm going to be the responsible one. I'm going to do what everyone else wants me to do. I'm going to ease the tension. And what ends up happening is we associate good with abandonment and we associate bad with expression and vulnerability. So one of the important parts of the process, I believe, of really coming into your full power is embrace being bad, embrace being somebody that gives other people tension, because what you're choosing to do is you're choosing to shift into values you choose. Values you choose because when you were a kid, you may have had the value of a subconscious mechanism you used to get your needs met, of tuning to other people. You may have had the value of wanting validation and approval. Who do I have to be to get validated and approved of, right? So what happens is that's a value you're currently trying to get 'cause you feel like you didn't get it as a kid. So what happens is you live according to who you need to be to get that. Now what happens is when you start embrace being quote unquote bad, you start to embrace vulnerability and authenticity. And what happens is you realize that leaning into tension is not bad. Causing someone else to feel negative emotion is not bad if it's you authentically expressing yourself and being vulnerable. It's only bad if you feel like it's your responsibility to fix them. And you feel like that maybe isn't even like it. It's interesting because what you consider to be bad may actually be good for them. If you have somebody that's a narcissist or someone that's controlling in your life and you think, you know, setting boundaries with them, you think, oh, that's gonna be bad. Well, that may be good, or you may withdraw your energy, but then you end up buying back your own autonomy, your own power. Does this making sense? So let's look, really begin to self-contemplate within yourself. What is good and what is bad? What do you feel obligated for in your own life? How do you feel obligated with your content, with what you're creating in the world? But also look at leaning into the thing that you've disowned inside of yourself. Very often empaths have trouble reaching the anger emotion. How many of you feel like sometimes in life it's hard to reach that anger inside? And what happens is, as a mechanism in order to not feel that anger, there's these other emotions that we may tie into that help us to not feel it because anger is not safe. So what happens is some of the biggest things that could help transform you is when you actually embrace the emotion you're trying to avoid. And this is something that I had to learn to do even after the whole ex-stepmom situation. There was a period of time where I found myself first off becoming aware of my energy and like where I was in a way kind of abandoning myself, not setting boundaries with people. And what happened is I started to get angry at myself. Isn't it— isn't it interesting that it's easier to get angrier at yourself than it is at other people? You guys find that? So sometimes I would find myself mad at my— I should have known better. Once again, it's in a way throwing everything to the side of where the— not the blame, but where the energy would go towards mom and dad not being able to meet the needs as their role. So it's like I feel obligated to meet my own needs as a kid, right? So what happens is I end up feeling that pressure inside of myself to do that for myself, but it ends up being this thing that like I end up, I end up just feeling like it's my responsibility. Okay, so what we wanna do is we wanna become aware of what we associate bad, what we associate good, and then also become aware of what emotions you can embrace. Because as you, as you start to embrace that, you might be mad. I've been mad at myself for a while. I should have known better. But then eventually what I did is I learned that I could then use that energy as fuel to express myself more. So bad, good. In order to get our needs met as a kid, we look at the values we were living by as a kid, which may have been wanting people's validation and approval. Right, in order to get our needs met. And now as an adult, you have the ability to choose. Now understand this: anything you're not changing, you're choosing. Let that settle in for a second. Anything you're not changing that you have become aware of, you are choosing. So you can become aware life's not fair. You can become aware that I feel like I'm— I have this commitment to these people. It's my responsibility to manage other people's emotions. But guess what? You're aware of it. That's where 90% of the transformation is. You can then choose something new. But why are you not choosing something new? Because to choose something new is bad, right? I want to be good. I want to be the good guy, the good kid. Sometimes I have the reflection of my own life of this, of my dad, because my dad is a very nice guy and he always says this. He's like, I just want to do— there's always a right thing. I just want to do the right thing. There's not, there's not like many different things you could do. There's the right thing. He doesn't want to deal with the tension of my sister or his ex-wife. And I just, I see the, I see the, the what he goes through and it's to be the good guy. But what he ends up doing is abandoning himself in the process and he ends up letting people walk over him. So I've been able to see that that causes a certain level of, in my, my own judgment, I guess I could say weakness in a way. Of course he's doing the best he can with where he's at. However, at the same time, it's very clear to me that if he were to, like, in a way begin to embrace his own authenticity and vulnerability and actually say— because he'll tell me, he'll be like, can you believe, you know, like, like, you'll see this happen with like divorced people sometimes, right? Can you believe this fucking person did this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and it's all this stuff, but they would never actually say that to the other person or It's like it's just to vent about it over here because it's not appropriate to actually say how you feel to someone else who's being a specific way. So that was something that my dad learned as a kid, that it was not safe to be vulnerable. So what you're doing, because you realize that whatever you're not changing, you're choosing, you can begin to choose a new way of being. And what I would recommend to you— you can do whatever you want— but I would recommend to you to focus more on choosing Vulnerability. Vulnerability in your content, vulnerability in expressing yourself to other people, whether that's through boundaries, whether that's through work dynamics, whether that's through, um, relationships. Being vulnerable is authentic. The fear is that if I'm vulnerable, I could get rejected. Well, guess what? When you're being a good person and you're being good, you're rejecting yourself every single day. Does this make sense? You're literally rejecting yourself over and over and over again and abandoning yourself because of the fear of abandonment over here. So why not, instead of trying to dance over here to make everyone else happy, why not go over and start to tune to yourself? Start to tune to who you choose to be, your own magnetic frame, getting inside of your own body and then choosing your own values. You maybe never chose your values before because you've been living in reaction to your environment. You've been living in reaction to what mom and dad, as a kid, when you were a kid, told you of how you should be. And there's just been this autopilot mind that you've been living within the confinements of. You know why? It feels familiar. It feels familiar. And it's interesting that the word familiar and the word familial are very similar. Isn't that interesting? So what happens is, if in the family we had an obligation to everybody else it was our responsibility to mitigate the tension in the, in the family, then no wonder we're playing out those same patterns as adults, feeling like it's our responsibility for our friend group, it's our responsibility for all of the, the way people perceive us. There's a certain expectation of how we need to be to get the approval and validation of our home life. So no wonder there's that pressure, and no wonder that leaks into your ability to create content. So What I'm offering as an invitation here is maybe there's a way that feels more in alignment for you, and it may still include tension. Realize that the word intention literally has the word tension inside of it. Lean into tension. Tension is not bad. Tension was bad as a kid because maybe it didn't feel comfortable, but tension is what causes growth. When you do things that you're not normally comfortable doing, the more reps you put in, the easier it gets and the more natural it becomes. And what happens is then you start to feel that tension kind of goes away once you, once you get used to it. So understand that one of your big breakthroughs here, as we're finishing off this talk about all the personal development stuff, and it comes up again, it does, but I'm just kind of like closing out the loop for now, at least on this, but lean into tension and embrace the parts of yourself that you were told growing up maybe you couldn't be, or that you felt like you couldn't be because of whatever response or whatever tension that would cause in other people. Ultimately, you attract people into your life that are in resonance to who you are being. So if you attract clients that you don't necessarily resonate with, You need to be putting out content that does reflect who you are and who you want to attract, right? That's something that you want to— you— that's what you have the ability to put your energy into. You put your energy into that. Okay? So what I'm gonna do now is I'm gonna open it up to questions. We can talk about anything that's on the board. It's kind of just open, but I wanted to just kind of like offload that because it's, it's a, it's a theme that I noticed for people that are just attracted to, you know, my content in general, and mine and Victor's content in general. But also, I felt like it was something that it's important for us to remember when it comes to content. We're so afraid of walking on eggshells or stepping on people's toes, or what will our friends think, and all of these things, that we end up abandoning ourselves in the process. And I wanted to offer you a new way of looking at what is good and what is bad, because a lot of the greats, especially someone I think of sometimes who has a very dark side. But I was— how many of you have seen that documentary with Michael Jordan? What's it called? The Last Dance. And you seen that? It shows behind the scenes of the last 3 or 4 years of Michael Jordan playing in like getting championships. It's basically his whole career of him getting 6 championships. In my opinion, he was the best basketball player of all time, though his winning mentality was just so powerful. Also, it was pretty dark the way he thought. He was so competitive and he had this dark side about him. He was a— he'd go gamble like he just had this addiction to that, that to like basically competing the way that he would. Like if somebody said something bad about him when he was playing basketball, he would— it would make him way better. He would take it. He took everything personal. So I'm not saying that we need to do that. What I am saying is that there's this book called Relentless by this guy that was the coach of Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, and Michael Jordan. And he was the coach for all three of them who've all won championships. And one of the things he said, there are these three different classifications. There are people that are basketball players are called a cooler, a cleaner, and a closer. And what happens is the cooler is someone that can play good in certain moments. doesn't really always perform in the moments of when it matters most. A closer is someone that has that ability to close in the right moment when it really matters to make a shot. They can make a shot and they can show up when they need to. A cleaner is somebody like Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant who doesn't matter, they are gonna play as hard as they can because they have this competitive edge. Now, what it was acknowledged is that for people to be a cleaner, they all have a dark side. That they embrace. There's a dark side. And what I'm saying is not that we need to enhance these, like, toxic parts of ourselves to be super competitive with other people, but what I'm saying is that dark side inside of every people pleaser or empath, there's an extraordinary amount of power inside of it if you can access it, if you can give yourself permission to feel it, if you can give yourself permission to express it. There's a lot of power that's underneath the surface there. And in my own life, the last 3 or 4 years, there's different aspects of my own shadow that I've been embracing that have to do with me expressing myself, with me cutting certain people, certain situations out of my life, saying no to certain things like this. It's— and the funny thing was, is back in the day, the old me would've been like, that's bad. You can't do that. I've had to set boundaries with family members. You know, some people would look at that, or the old me would look at like, how could you? These people are related to you, but you've had to— but I really, I realize that what's good for them is for them to learn their own lessons. It's not for me to, for example, support or pay for— because I'm successful, to pay for family members to live when that— oh, that's the good thing to do because you're— you— no, I'm not responsible for them. They need to grow up. Certain family members need to grow up. How do I know that what's best for them, what's actually good for them, is to give them tension? And the only way I'm giving them attention is by not solving their problems, not fixing them. Because how often do we think we know what it takes to fix someone when it's maybe not fixing, maybe it's enabling, right? And in a similar way, maybe by not expressing yourself and not stepping on other people's toes and not putting out the content that you're— that you know you feel called to be, uh, creating, maybe you're enabling all your friends and family You're enabling them to not change, grow, or to challenge their view of you.

Now, if you wanna learn the most powerful process and technique for getting in your own frame of reality where you begin to feel more confident, safe in your own body, you're not tuning to the environment and then demanding that it meets your needs in the same way because you feel safe in your own body. The most powerful transformational technique I've ever learned is called the Frame of Reality. The Frame Technique. I learned it from a shadow work coach a few years ago. I've shared it with hundreds of thousands of people through YouTube videos, and I get told all the time when I meet people in public that it's completely transformed their life. It's the thing I hear the most often, which I'm very grateful for. But if you wanna learn The Frame Technique with a meditation that will begin to bring that energy back into your body, listen to this meditation right here for 21 days and watch how much it changes you. Welcome to the Frame Technique meditation and activation. This very well may be one of the