Your "Specific Person" is not what you think...

You may see people ask about what is called the SP, the specific person, on YouTube videos. I get Instagram comments about it, people asking me, how do I get my SP back? How do I detach and let go but at the same time get them to come back to me? What about this whole SP? And in this video, I want to show you exactly what to do with the SP that is going to be completely different than what you would probably expect me to say, but it will free you from the grasp and attachment that you have towards that specific person and realizing that what it really is is a specific pattern. It is a pattern that feels familiar to childhood. It is a pattern and a person that allows you to feel similar familiarized emotions from the past. So if you find yourself in a relationship or dynamic with an emotionally unavailable person, maybe it is a specific pattern that allows you to feel the same shame, guilt, fear, or anger that was felt in childhood. And in this video, I wanna show you a 3 or 4 step process that will completely transform your life and allow you to never ask the question about the SP again, because you feel so confident, so free, and so in your own frame that you no longer have to ask yourself that question again. So I'm gonna share with you step by step what to do, step by step what to realize, and I really believe that in 6 months from now, you'll notice your whole entire life has changed as a result of watching this video. How do you want the SP back but also detach and let go at the same time, please? Okay, I wanna be nice about this. I'm gonna be real and authentic at the same time. Okay, so SP stands for, in the spiritual law of attraction community, specific person, am I right? You guys correct me if I'm wrong, specific person. So you want the specific person back but you also detach and let go at the same time. Now, the thing I'd question you to look at is what are the beliefs you have about around this specific person and why do you want them back? Now you're gonna tell yourself a story. The story's gonna be that this person is either that other half of your soul, you're never gonna feel something as deep with someone else ever again. There may be a lesson or an opportunity for you to hear, to realize that this specific person is connected to a specific pattern. Think about it. It's a specific pattern that you're attached to. So anytime somebody now says on my YouTube channel or on Instagram, they say, Aaron, how do I attract my specific person, my SP? I wanna attract them back. Realize you're talking about the specific pattern. It's not a person, it's a pattern. And you're fighting for a pattern that no longer serves you. You're fighting for a pattern that is keeping you stuck in childhood energy. It may be the pattern of somebody that's not emotionally available. It may be the pattern that someone that's not very present. It may be the pattern that someone's controlling or manipulative. And you might be subconsciously fighting for that pattern because it feels like the person is meant to be. But understand, you may be addicted to the familiar subconsciously. And normally the way that people ask, I'm not trying to talk down to, you know, whoever asked the question. I'm just saying that it's important to become aware that what you're really fighting for is an old outdated pattern. One day you'll look back and you'll realize, I can't believe I was fighting for the SP. I was fighting for this specific pattern over and over again. Think about that. 'Cause that's what, anytime somebody says to me SP on Instagram or YouTube, I'm gonna think about it like specific pattern. I normally don't answer those questions. I'm answering it now because that's the perspective I have. You're fighting for the specific person because it's a specific pattern that feels familiar. Once you realize that, it kind of depersonalizes it a little bit. Doesn't it make it a little bit easier to start to let go once you realize that the thing you're probably fighting for is something that's either, somebody that's either emotionally unavailable or it's not just maybe not interested in you in the way that you wish they were. So you're fighting for mom or dad's approval by fighting for their approval. Interesting, right? So I could say, okay, you're gonna detach and let go at the same time. I just recommend you just, you recognize it as a pattern and realize that pattern, once again, we're talking about this Alfred Adlerian psychology or the Joe Dispenza stuff, right? I'll kind of, the idea is that that SP is in your life because they are helping you to feel familiarized emotion from your past. There is a subconscious goal that Alfred Adler would talk about in Adlerian psychology. There's a goal that you might have that's like, relationships are scary. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna choose someone that doesn't choose me because if I choose someone that doesn't choose me, I get to stay in the familiarized emotion from my childhood where it feels actually kind of like I don't have to really get intimate. I don't really have to brush against it. It's kind of like this person's like there but not there at the same time. So it feels familiar, it feels normal, it's serving a purpose. And then what happens is that person starts doing whatever and you're like, how do I get the SP back? How do I get the SP back? Realize SP is not special, what do you call it? What do people say it is? SP, specialized person or no, specific person. It's not a specific person, it's a specific pattern. And what you're really attached to is a pattern because the pattern allows you to feel the familiarized emotions of the past. Now the thing is, is it's going to feel like unknown energy to let that go. What you're afraid of doing is letting go of the pattern because when you let go of the pattern and you realize that maybe it's not what you want to experience anymore, there's gonna be a little bit of emptiness. There's not gonna be so much dopamine there. And then you're gonna say, well, what do I do? Like, I wanna create more dopamine. I wanna create this fight or flight response. So who do I find next that's, emotionally unavailable so that they can replay this energy with me. Interesting, right? So the thing you wanna focus on when it comes to having a specific person that you're trying to make it work with is that you're fighting for a specific pattern that feels familiar to your childhood. And now how do you let go of that specific pattern? How do you let go of that specific person? Well, you realize first off they're serving a purpose. You first off, there's like a 3-step process that you can look at here. Let's look at 3 simple steps that you can use. They use these 3, these same 3 steps in AA, kind of. I'd say they're like phases. I don't, I've never been to AA, but the thing when you're asking that question is there's some form of energetic addiction there. Now what's the first step in AA? The first step is to admit, to admit and to be aware of the thing, to be able to not be in denial, right? So the first thing is to admit that there's a pattern here. Yes, there's a pattern here. It's not just the person in the story that you color this SP, specific person with, it's a specific pattern, okay? You have to take responsibility for the pattern. I picked up this pattern. Maybe it was something that happened and it was familiar in childhood. but I picked it up and now I'm projecting it onto the external reality and I'm finding people and synchronicities and things that allow me to feel that emotion. Take responsibility for it. And your responsibility is your ability to respond, to choose a new meaning, which also gives you the ability to let it go. Now, the other thing you can do, and the third step that I recommend, is connecting to the divine, connecting to something greater than yourself. Giving it up to God, giving it up to the universe, whatever name you wanna give it. This is also the power of Ho'oponopono. Ho'oponopono is I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. You clean it out of your energy field. But really what I'd also recommend you do is you get to the core of the inner child part of you that's wondering where the hell is mom or dad? Why are they not present and here? Why are my needs not being met? There's an inner child part of you that probably feels that way. And fighting for the SP, the specific person, AKA the specific pattern, is helping you to feel balloons. It's helping you to feel that emotion. So one thing you want to do is Give it up to the divine. Become aware of your role in it, but be present with that inner child part of you. I've had very powerful experiences with myself where I did something called family constellation. I've talked about this before. Family constellation is a specific German process of healing where what happens is the idea is within your energetic field is the energy pattern of your family lineage, of the stuff that happened in childhood that maybe even happened in your parents' childhood that was passed down to the generations waiting for you to feel it and heal it and let it go out of your energy field. Well, I was in Sedona and I had a friend of mine that was telling me family constellation therapy completely changed her life, so I decided to do it. I actually flew to Sedona and this is like at the beginning of the year and what I did is I went and there's, it's an actual where there's people there and there were 5 people there and there was the practitioner and 5 people that were basically volunteers to play out different energy patterns in my family without them knowing anything about my family. They basically like get into a state, like a channeled state and just like whatever comes to them, they start playing out these different patterns. So what I did is I had to pick who plays my mom, who plays my mom's dad, who plays my mom's mom, who plays me, like was all of this thing. And then I'm watching these people not know anything about my family history, by the way, start to play out different energy patterns. And it was mind-blowing how accurate some of these things were, how accurate without saying anything, they were like, this person was embodying my mom's energy, this person's embodying my mom's dad's energy, who I didn't really even know, but what I did know, I'm like, wow, that seems kind of accurate. Same with my mom. And I could then see that similar patterns I noticed were also similar patterns I experienced in my own childhood, even when my mom wasn't around from when I was 7 to 17, because I had a different dynamic in my life where I wasn't really allowed to see my mom. But it's like, wow, that's like the same energy pattern. But at the end of this family constellation therapy exercise thing, I'm actually laying in the arms of this lady that's playing my mom. And there's this, it was kind of weird at first because it's this random person, but like they're playing the energy of my mom. It was very interesting, but I'm like laying in the little, there was this nurturing that she was doing by like almost like treating me as if I was a baby. It was kind of, I had to like sink into the experience and kind of be open to it. But what happened was interesting. On one hand, there was this big heart opening that happened and that heart opening actually felt like a sharp pain. As I'm laying on this, like I'm laying, my head is on the lap of this lady that kind of looks like my mom, but is playing the energy of my mom. And the idea was that when I was a kid, there was this, we were able to kind of close the loop from childhood. So as she's doing that, I feel this sharp pain in my heart and my body started to kind of like shake a little bit. And there was like this crying that wanted to happen and it was like this, this energy, but then what happened is after the sharp pain, I just be present with it, there was this huge expansion of love, of my heart opening, of feeling like there was this closure, this almost like this completed energy and this new nervous system attunement to more open feeling of love. And I recognized that that sharp pain that I was feeling before was a safety mechanism that was allowing me not to feel the scary unknown of the expansive love. So what I'm saying is when you're looking for the SP, the specific person, which is a specific pattern, maybe that specific person, that specific pattern is shielding you from feeling the un— is shielding you from feeling the expansive energy of unconditional love in your heart. And what ends up happening is you end up as a result attracting people that are either emotionally unavailable or people that reflect back that old energy dynamic. But the thing to realize is that there's a part of you that likes the familiar, that believes in the familiar. So your breakthrough is around not choosing that SP, that specific person. It's around choosing a specific pattern that is more expansive than the old specific pattern. So if you want to be free and you want to let go of the old familiarized energy, it does take courage. It does take feeling. It does take opening up your heart. Does that make sense? So I'm glad that for once and for all, I was able to kind of express the whole SP thing. That came through in the moment, by the way. I never even thought of the whole specific pattern thing, but it really is, it's a specific pattern. That's why I like going live. Stuff just kind of comes through. And by the way, if you guys, I haven't even mentioned it yet, right yesterday, the Magnetic Abundance Challenge opened for enrollment. There's early bird, ticket right now, which means you get lifetime access to the videos. It's 21 Days to a More Magnetic, Abundant You to live your purpose and remove the fear, self-sabotage, imposter syndrome that's holding you back from being who you came here to be. It starts on September 25th and it's 21 days breathwork, live office hour coaching like I'm doing right now, but imagine I bring up people and I'm coaching people. It's different, it's even more intimate. So if you wanna join, MAC, respond to this, MAC, MAC. All what, you know, MAC, I'll send you the, whatchamacallit, I'll send you the link. But yeah, now it's the early bird, you get the cheapest price and you get it, what else? All the bonuses, everything. But that 50,000 people go through past 21-day challenges before. It's the first one I'm doing, second one of the year. I did one in January. But I normally do 3 or 4 a year, so they take on a life of their own. Nice, some of you are already in it, that's cool. So yeah, MAC if you're interested. Okay, let's see. How do you repel energy vampires? So we were talking about this a little bit earlier. Energy vampires are people that are gaining energy from, you know, the story there, the thing that you wanna become aware of is are you projecting onto them and giving away your energy and then saying that they're taking your energy from you. Like you have an option to not give away your energy. That is an option. But a lot of times when people say, energy vampires are taking energy from me, there's a belief and a story there that you have to give up your energy and understand there's a payoff to you giving away your energy. What is the payoff to giving away your energy? Maybe it feels familiar to childhood. Maybe giving away your energy allows you to have not so much energy so you don't have to take action or step into the unknown. Maybe it allows certain blame energy to stay active inside of your field. Now, one of the best ways to repel an energy vampire is to set a boundary, to not talk to somebody that's maybe draining your energy. It's simple. But you say, oh, it's hard for me to set boundaries. Well, do you feel responsible for other people's tension? Do you feel like you are meant to be at the disposal of your energy to make other people feel a certain way? You see the difference there? So you're not responsible. You just, it doesn't, to repel energy vampires, Be the most authentic version of you and don't feel like you have to give away your energy. What is the exchange there? If you give away your energy, what is the exchange? Maybe you feel like a good person. Maybe you feel like you're fixing. A lot of times empaths might attract narcissists and it's like, well, I can fix this person and I see the best in this person. And if I can fix them, then what? You get a payoff from that. Even if they're toxic and it drains your energy, there's like, oh, I feel of use. I feel like I'm fixing mom or dad. If I fix the mom or dad, I then can get them to love me. This is the deeper shadow work stuff to look at. So to repel them, simply set boundaries, be in your own frame, express the real you. Tension is not bad. What happens if an energy vampire goes up to somebody that like doesn't, engage with them at all. That's one of the best ways too, is to completely disengage your energy. Sometimes when certain people, when you're arguing with them, it feeds their frame and it gives them something to like clench onto. But if you don't, you just put your energy somewhere else and you get out of the story of this person's taking my energy or this is happening, you end up being more free. Let's see. What time is it? 10 o'clock. I'm getting kind of hungry, man. I'm still at Austin time 'cause I've been in Austin for like 3 years. So since coming to California, it's like, so it's like 12:30 for me right now, but it's 10:30. And then I'm debating today's leg day at the gym, but also I wanna surf. But to do both, it is kind of like a lot of energy. So it's like, then I have to wait to surf tomorrow. And it's been 2 or 3 days since I've surfed. So I really wanna go surf, but I also wanna do, I wanna have a good leg day. So I could go to do leg day now and then I could go surf later. But then it's also gonna be hard to surf after leg day. Hmm. What shall I do? Surfing's kind of addicting. In like a good way. I learned how to turn the other day. So basically I've had probably 10 sessions or more, like 10 sessions of someone teaching me, and I can get up on the board pretty consistently. I can ride waves inconsistently. But what I learned last time was you start riding a wave and then you turn left or right, and it was super busy on the beach, so it was kind of like I had to like, I kind of had to do that just so I didn't run into like random kids and people that are just like in that area, in the impact zone. Um, but anyways, it's like the coolest feeling ever to be serving and then to turn. And I want to do it, and I'm like, I want to go, but I have leg day today at the gym. Leg day for me is— I, I want to reprim— I want to reprogram my mind to enjoy leg day, but it hasn't happened yet. I always feel amazing after leg day, but it's just, it So taxing to the sur— if you're really going to failure or you're going really hard, it's just, it is taxing. It's just mentally make your nervous system. Yeah, but you see, sometimes leaning into tension is the good thing. Sometimes somebody just say, just go surf. Maybe that's the breakthrough. I'm not gonna skip leg day. That's not good advice. Surfing is leg day, maybe. I wish. Um, anyways, thank you for humoring me, everyone, holding space for that. Um, how to get out of a bond with an emotionally unavailable person. He told me I start to break his differences and he is scared. I'm on a roller coaster. I don't want it to be— I don't want to be stable at safety. So one thing to realize about that is a lot of times when people attract emotionally unavailable people they've normalized and let it be okay to be with someone that is emotionally unavailable. Also, normally there is some form of emotional unavailability that feels safe. So normally there's active emotional unavailability within the person that attracts emotionally unavailable people, which is also hard to look at because it's like, well, no, I just love people so much. What are you talking about, Aaron? But some of that emotional unavailability may be of there's an avoidance of feeling and going through the intimate expansion or the intimate breakthroughs that you could be having if you actually choose someone that was emotionally available. So like I said earlier, if you were— I'm gonna put this replay up of this live. I talked about there's 4 different steps: becoming aware of the pattern, taking responsibility for the pattern, allowing the divine to come through to help you let it go, to forgive, and to have the courage to step into a new version of you, a new pattern, but realize the pattern was serving a purpose. So when you address that deeper purpose by healing that inner child, that's where a lot of healing can happen. So anyways, I'm getting hungry. So anyways, The Magnetic Abundance Challenge starts on September 25th. Now is the early bird enrollment. It's gonna end on Monday, the early bird enrollment. MAC, you get a spot at MAC if you're interested in that. Other than that, this is fun. It took a while to get in the flow. They always do sometimes. Sometimes I get in the flow right away. Sometimes it takes a while. The SP question really got me in the flow. Yeah, that was fun. Other than that, hope all of you have an incredible and amazing day, and I'm gonna eat, probably do leg day, and then maybe go surf. So other than that, hope you all have a great day. As always, peace, love, and namaste.