Your vibration did NOT start with you

Your energy and the patterns you experience in your life, you could say your vibration, didn't start with you. And unless you're aware of what I share with you in this video, and I'm gonna share you how your vibration did not start with you, how you inherited the vibration of your parents, your environment growing up, and the only thing you need to do to break free of it, I'm gonna share with you what to do in this episode. This is something that's completely profoundly changed my life. And I'm super excited to share it because, um, I think it's going to really help many of you watching this video. I don't think you saw this video by chance. It's time for you to become aware of these things and to transcend them, to really be yourself in a very powerful way. Welcome back to another video. My name is Aaron and I help people expand their consciousness. Now on this video, I'm going to be sharing with you more about understanding something called the mother complex. which a lot of men may have, um, in the same way I think women go through it with the father complex, but also understanding how we literally inherit the patterns of our parents and of our environment or our caretakers growing up. And we don't even know it. And the patterns that you're playing out right now in your life were probably, or they are the unprocessed patterns that your parents went through. Even if it doesn't seem like it, there's similar patterns there. Now think of it like this. First off, think of it like these glasses right here. Now imagine that when you put these glasses on, imagine you see the world a certain way. Imagine there's certain filters. It's almost like there's a certain belief system that when you put it on, so if you have a belief system that says, I'm not worthy, people don't love me, and you put these on, or like all relationships, people eventually leave me, or whatever these beliefs are, you put these glasses on, You walk around, you go out into the outer world, and then you get this self-fulfilling prophecy where you keep getting this reflection back to you. You keep finding that you feel rejected, you feel emotionally abandoned, you feel not supported. These are patterns that came from the energy field or the belief system of these glasses that you put on a long time ago that you inherited. And then you thought these were your glasses. You thought you had to wear these glasses. And that's why in this episode, what I wanna do is I wanna share with you my personal story of how I've become aware of these patterns in my own life and how I finally decided to take off the glasses, how I finally decided and realized that I don't have to wear the glasses and that they're not mine. And not only that, I'm gonna show you a little meditation practice that you can do to really separate yourself from the energy patterns that you absorbed growing up. So first off, I also wanna shout out this book right here. There's this book, it is by Mark Wolynn. It is called "It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle." So it has to do with understanding that the energy fields, that the energy and the patterns we're living in our life were the unprocessed patterns that our parents were also living through. So in order to do this, I wanna explain this to you in the form, I'm gonna use my handy-dandy little chart. So let's go over there. In order to explain this to you, what I did is I kind of mapped out the idea of like a family tree in a way. And what you can think of it as, you know, we have you, then you have your mama and your dada. And then what happens is your mom and your dad each have your grandma and your grandpa, which is their mom and dad. Now here's the way that I found it works from this book. And it explains many, many different scenarios where this happens. But what happens is the energy patterns that our parents went through growing up that were unprocessed there are certain— those patterns are then passed on to us and we feel them even at subconscious levels. So for example, my— let me kind of explain a little bit of my life and how I've gone through this transformation myself and become aware of these things. My dad is a typical nice guy. What you call a nice guy, he's somebody that is like very serious about his job. He's very good at what he does. He's a fire investigator and that's been his main focus. But many of you know my story. I had the— abusive narcissistic ex-stepmom in my life from 7 to 15 years old. And she completely controlled my brother and I's life. She took over control even over like my dad parenting us. It was then her parenting us. And she was kind of like an army sergeant. And she was somebody that for sure, by the way, was emotionally unavailable. I'll talk about that in a minute. And what happened is my dad, the reason he got taken advantage of and the reason he allowed that to happen is 'cause he was the nice guy. Now part of him probably felt safe around my ex-stepmom because she had such a strong frame. And what happens is when we don't deal with what is called our mother complex, our mother complex is when we have, we wanna be, this is this energy where we wanna be nurtured and taken care of and we wanna go back to just being a kid again. And the thing that stops a lot of men from being masculine is they hold onto their mother complex and they don't even know it. They secretly want to, they want to be mothered. They want to receive that kind of fulfillment. So they look for it in other women. They then start dating people that they think could mother them. And what happens is unless the person sheds that mother complex, they'll continue to experience things in their life of the same energy pattern. So my dad is a typical nice guy. Now look at this. My grandma, this is one thing I know about my grandma. My grandpa, I've never met my actual grandpa, but I have, you know, she remarried and that's who I consider my grandpa. But as far as like inherited trauma, it could also probably be adopted or stepparents as well, obviously, because we're around the energy field. However, my grandma, I know at a certain point felt emotionally abandoned because my grandma is like a therapist. She was one of like 8 different kids and her mom and dad, would almost shame her for wanting to become a therapist, for wanting to become a psychologist or psychiatrist. I forget which one she is, but the one that you didn't have to go to school as long for, but they told her she was dumb and that she would never like graduate or why would she even try doing that? Just go do something like be a housewife. And my grandma was super passionate about college and super passionate about this stuff. And this is back in like the '60s, '70s, right? And what she, or the '60s, and what she decided to do is she broke away from her family. She, I bet you, I know it, she felt emotionally abandoned. And she then stepped into more of a masculine role because also her ex-husband, which was my, she kind of fell out of love with him. And then, which is my grandpa. And then what happened is my dad was in the middle of that. And my dad was much closer to his mom. But in a similar way, what's interesting is there was an emotionally abandonment wound from my grandma, from her parents. And my dad is the typical nice guy. Now, nice guy is a shadow. Nice guy is, I'm going to be this way towards you in order to get you to give me validation, support, and approval. Now, the thing with that is it's very unpolarizing and it is something that's like very transactional. And that's what attracted my ex-stepmom, who's a narcissist, who could just take over, who is a narcissist, who could just take over. My dad was constantly trying to please her. And on the other side of that, she was getting something out of it 'cause she had somebody, the minion, to do whatever she wanted to do. But then that ended in, you know, my dad eventually divorced her. And when my dad divorced her when I was 15 years old, it was like a whole new world and everything kind of like opened up. Now let's go over to my mom's side. My mom, in a similar way, I won't go into too much details just to, you know, it's not my place necessarily. I've shared some stuff before that I realized affected my mom. My mom did not like that I shared it. But basically my mom went through a lot of pain growing up. She went through a lot of emotional trauma growing up. And one thing that I know happened is that she felt emotionally abandoned by her mom. I know that. And it happens a lot. Your mom could actually be there, but you could still feel an emotional abandonment. And now what happened is when her mom emotionally abandoned her, she felt that. Now here's something interesting that happened with me. So then there's me. And so I'm just kind of sharing me as an example here. So I inherited the nice kindness of my dad that I had to shed and I shed it this last year and it's totally different now. It feels so much better for me to do what I wanna do, not play into people's approval, validation. And a lot of this was having to do with realizing and recognizing that it was a pattern that I in a way inherited that I wanted to let go of that isn't mine. It's not mine. It's like almost like those rose-colored glasses or those glasses, wearing them and like, oh wait, why am I wearing these? I don't have to wear them. So I'll tell you the meditation practice for that in a minute. Now, in a similar way, here's something interesting. My grandma felt emotionally abandoned. My dad, you know, was around my, my grandma. My dad then attracted my mom who felt emotionally abandoned from her mom. So there was this abandonment wound that my mom had. There was this abandoned wound that my dad was probably attracted to because it felt familiar, similar to his mom. And in a way, I guarantee that my ex-stepmom also felt emotionally abandoned by her dad. So it's interesting how the same signature wound carries through in our patterns and it carries through in what we experience. Now, even me, when I was young, my mom, her dad passed away. And when her dad passed away, it was very traumatizing for her. And when she was, when I was 3 or 4 years old, there was a part of me that felt like because my mom was going through all that stuff that I was emotionally abandoned. So it just keeps trickling down. It's not my mom's fault, by the way. She wasn't aware of it. And she was going through her dad passing away, who I never met. I never met either of my grandpas. Isn't that interesting? I wonder if there's some pattern there, right? But emotionally abandoned and she felt not safe. Now in the same way, what I've realized with me, the kind of patterns that I attract in my life is I would attract myself to women that had trauma that also I would constantly try to gain their validation, love, or support from, their approval from. And I wouldn't realize why I was so attracted to this. Well, it's a similar pattern. I'm attracted to the emotionally abandoned. I was attracted to someone that was emotionally, that also felt emotionally abandoned. And I would then try to get the approval. And I would try to do that by being a nice guy, which means if I give you this, then you'll give me this in exchange. And that was something I had to become aware of. So a lot of the work that I've been doing this last year is realizing this core wounding the core wounding that we had from childhood, that it's about going within ourselves and healing that trauma and recognizing as well and feeling safe within our own container. This has been life-changing for me. So your vibration didn't start with you, the inner vibration you have, because these also reveal our identity beliefs. Think of it like that. Like if you're a nice guy, you believe you're not worthy. You believe you have to do all these things in order to gain approval, love, and support. If you feel emotionally abandoned, you are going to try to also be a nice guy because you don't want somebody to neglect you or abandon you. So if I could just be a little bit different, maybe that won't happen. So in my own relationships in life, what I had to learn is that I would— the sexual polarity would begin to go away because I would go into this more feminine state, which is the mother complex, which is where I wanted to be nurtured and mothered because I craved that emotional, that emotional connection growing up. And then that depolarizes the relationship. So a lot of what I've had to do in this kind of work is meditation practices for healing that own inner wound inside of myself and also separating myself from that of these energies. So when we talk about the work of these, What this has been me doing is becoming aware of this and then doing meditation. So there is a meditation that's completely free. It's an inner child meditation, which is the same meditation I used to heal this pattern. And we go to Kauai, Hawaii. We connect to that energy and it's a very powerful activation. It's completely free. You go to aarondoughty.com/child because it's a child meditation, or you click the link below. But basically what you're doing here is you're— 90% of the process is becoming aware of these energy patterns and then realizing that they are not yours. They were, you know, my mom felt that from her mom. My dad felt that from his mom and dad. And then what I would do in meditation is I would observe my thoughts. And what I would do is I would observe these emotions and these things coming up, and I would start to see the patterns. And I would then start to feel more present inside of my own body. I would then start to separate myself. Here's a practice you can do. I'm gonna go into a different room. Here's a practice you can do. Get a picture of one of your parents and put it in front of you and do a meditation and literally feel the separation between you and them. You still love them unconditionally, or you still love them, but what you do is you feel and you recognize, you say, this is your stuff, this is my stuff. You feel the separation between the energy. And you could say, you know what? This served me for a certain period of my time, but I'm ready to let this go now. I'm ready to not keep living this pattern out. And I realized that in many different areas of my life, the whole nice guy thing in relationships, I realized that that was something that my personality, I'm actually a very assertive person. My identity was already completely different, but there was this string from my past that I felt like I was trying to shed. And when I began to realize this, it shifted my identity. So the key to this is getting to the core of your identity and beginning to separate what is your mom's stuff versus your dad's stuff. And literally feel the separation and say, you know, this served me for a period of time. And in the meditation, feel and say, you know what, this is yours, this is mine. You know what's funny is my brother who has 2 kids and he's 3 years younger than me, he went through a lot of the trauma I went through growing up. Wanna know something interesting? He attracted his wife that he's now divorcing into his life who was also very similar energy to my ex-stepmom. Interesting. These patterns we pick up whether we are aware of it or not, but the key is becoming aware of it and then realizing, oh, this is your thing. So literally what I could do is, and I've done this as a meditation, where I look at my dad and I'm like, I love you, Dad. However, this nice guy thing is your thing, not mine. And as I do that, I start to get more inside of my body. Also, I think a lot of times when we go through family trauma, this is just kind of like a side note, I think what we do is we energetically kind of leave our bottom 3 chakras and go into the top ones, and that's why we become so like intuitive and stuff. But the key is actually becoming more inside of the body and feeling safe in your own body. Being in your frame and being in your own body is the same thing. If you wanna develop a powerful frame for your life and you don't wanna be in your parents' frame, get inside your own body. It's the same thing. And then feel the separation between you and other people. Feel the separate, which is so counterintuitive. It's like, no, we're supposed to be one consciousness. We're all connected. That's not the thing we need to hear to heal. The thing we need to do is to feel the separation. As I've done that, I've gotten more in my own masculine presence. I feel more present than ever before. I'm not this needy little boy that's trying to date women, that's trying to gain their validation. And because of that, I'm more in my own masculine presence. And guess what? Now the feminine can relax. It's a completely different energy. So these emotional patterns, your vibration, has been stemmed from a core wound from your parents that is either healed or unhealed. And if you wanna heal it, the thing to do is to go inside and to actually separate yourself from the patterns of that family trauma and to come at peace with it and to realize and to feel inside of your heart and understand that it served you for a certain period of time for you to become aware of this stuff, but you no longer have to live in that. Like the nice guy thing is a safety mechanism that keeps people from rejecting me so I don't experience that emotional abandonment, but no, Going into the feeling is key. Going into the feeling and allowing the feeling to be there. So if you want to heal these things, the thing that I recommend you do is you do meditations for dialoguing with your own inner child and then actually feeling the separation. Get a picture of your parents. Say, I love you, but that's your stuff. This is my stuff. I've had friends that I've told this to, talked to about, they've done it. It is so powerful. You interject in this. This goes even further beyond just like your parents and their parents' parents. It was your parents' parents' parents' parents. It keeps going back because it's unresolved energy that's been literally residually passed down. Think about it. Your mom was in your mom's mom. And it's like this energy, which means they were in the energy pattern. So it's like we're absorbing those energy patterns. But the key is to separate ourselves from it and to feel connected within ourselves, to feel what comes up, And then to be able to separate ourselves and make a new choice. So that is the key to this. Do that meditation, the inner child meditation. I think it's one of the most powerful ones. There's also a meditation for feeling 100% whole and complete, one of the most powerful meditations on the channel that can help as well. I'll link that below. And then like this video if you liked this video and comment below if you want me to make a follow-up video to this, sharing more ideas, maybe an actual meditation on the actual separation meditation with the photo. Let me know, comment below if you want that, like this video if you like that, if you want me to do that. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoyed this video. And as always, I'll see you on the next one. Peace, much love, and namaste.