Aaron DoughtyAwareness Mastery, Awareness Mastery, Awareness Mastery, Awareness Mastery, Awareness Mastery, LLC · Spiritual Teacher and Educator

You’re not in love, you just want approval #codependency #relationshipadvice

2 Feb 2026 · 0 min

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In this brief monologue, the speaker argues that people who grew up without sufficient validation and approval as children often mistake the need for approval as the definition of love. This early deficit conditions the nervous system to believe that unconditional love can only be achieved by first securing others' approval and validation. Consequently, individuals continuously adjust their identity and behavior to gain external validation, conflating approval‑seeking with genuine love and fostering codependent relationship patterns.

If as a kid there wasn't that validation and approval, you will value that and confuse that as love. So your nervous system then becomes tuned to, in order to be unconditionally loved, I first off must get approval and validation. Then you tune to approval and validation in other people, and who do I need to be to get their approval and validation? So the basis for unconditional love or for love is you believe you must get people's approval.