The Missing Link To Living Your Extraordinary Life

If you're not living the extraordinary life you really want and not reaching your next level, it's probably because of this one thing. My name is Christian Santiago, peak performance coach for visionary leaders and entrepreneurs. And in this video, I'm actually taking you behind the scenes of a teaching video I give to all my clients that they watch before we actually coach on this one topic. And this one topic is the one thing that literally allows them to reach their next level, whether it's the next level income, impact or influence as well, if they really want to. But it's most of the time, it's not what you think. It's not a new strategy. It's not a new thing you need to try. It's actually this one emotional component that we're going to dive into. So enjoy the video. Hey, my friends, Christian Santiago here. I wanted to do something different for today's session leading up to it, because it's actually going to be one of the most emotionally powerful, uplifting sessions you would have in a while, especially because of the topic that we're really jumping into. Mind you, this topic is something that I discovered first on myself. It's an area that really is not talked about a lot, but once it's grasped, it really lifts every person that I've seen. It doesn't matter what personality they have. It doesn't matter what industry they're at. It doesn't matter what stage of their career that they're at. It doesn't matter how masterful they're at that they're. It literally lifts them up to higher heights that they wouldn't have gone otherwise. And I really mean that with every fiber of my being, which is why I actually just wanted to talk to you a little bit for maybe 10, 11 minutes on this one topic. And it's really the one key that will shift everything for you. And we'll dive deeper into our coaching session with either me or another one of my peak performance coaches on this specific topic. But I can guarantee you that if you really listen in or hone in for the next few minutes, you're going to experience an emotional shift that will change everything. Now, why do I say an emotional shift? It's because oftentimes our actions are connected to our beliefs. Think about it. Whatever we believe, we act on, because belief, all a belief really is, is a certainty of what we. What we think is going to happen, what we know is going to happen. So if I genuinely believe, I have this belief that it's going to rain outside tomorrow morning, I am going to put on the proper clothes the next day when I wake up for. Because I just have this certainty that it's going to rain whether it rains or not. If I have this belief that my career is on the downward trajectory rather than we're just getting started regardless of what age I'm at, then I'm going to operate and act like that. So every belief, every action we take is tied to a belief. And beliefs are not shifted until emotions are activated. Beliefs are not shifted until emotions are activated. I mean, think about it for yourself. When have you ever acted in a different way? Once you emotionally felt something. I mean, think about a time, maybe you've lost some weight and all of a sudden you got to a place where you looked at yourself in the mirror and there was so much pain. You said, not another. Not another moment. There was so much emotions, and it's negative emotions that literally you said, enough. And you changed. And immediately you said, I'm never going back. I know some people who. I've literally done emotional home breakthroughs where we get rid of the number one most negative emotion in their life. And I asked them, what's a never again moment? What's a moment or a time in your life where you say never again? And some of them, I remember doing that with somebody, and he literally said, never again will I live in that neighborhood where I grew up in. And it's because it was so much emotion of pain, of scarcity, of survival that he was in. He did not grow up in a great place to where he's at now. It's incredible. But he's like, never again will I get there or even allow my kids to get there. It's because his beliefs about that place was shifted when his emotions were activated. But even then, when my son was born for the first time, I had so much emotion in that time that my beliefs immediately changed about who I was as a father. Has that ever happened to you? Maybe in a really big positive emotional event, like a child being born. And maybe you accomplished something and you made yourself so proud that you said, this is who I am now. Because your belief was shifted when your emotions activated, or maybe a negative event, whereas either a relationship or your body or something happened and you said, never again. Enough's enough. I will not tolerate this anymore because I'm worth more than that. A belief was shifted because your emotions were activated. Now why am I saying this is Because I have to ask you a question. What's really stopping you at your next level? What's really stopping you from being there. Now, some of us would hear, would say, well, you're going to point to outside factors, whether it's your company or the economy or something that's going on, or maybe you're at a certain age or it doesn't matter what it is. You can go to external things. You can also go to blame and internal things and saying, well, I'm not smart enough or I don't have the enough connections or I don't have enough capital, I don't have enough influence or I don't have whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever you just come up with. Remember this, that's a story. And the only reason why you don't have everything you really believe you should have, the only reason why you don't have that next level you believe you should have is the story you tell yourself as to why you can't have it. The only reason why you don't have everything you really want to have is the story you tell yourself as to why you can't have it. And what's one of the fastest ways to shift our story? It's this one word. And I call it emotional permission. Here's what I mean. You see, every single one of you, if I'm, if we're working together, it means that you're a leader of the highest caliber. And here's what I know. You have the physical and mental capacity for your next level, but what you're lacking is the emotional permission to get there. Now, now, now, you might say Christian. What are you talking about? Emotional permission? What in the world? Here's one thing I know. I've worked with people who are just getting started in business, to people who are high level executives, investors, surgeons, CEOs, publicly traded companies. I have been in different cultures. I've worked with people who are black, white, Latino, just like me, Asian. It doesn't matter what even religion they are. They could literally be a Christian, a Buddhist, an atheist, an agnostic, a nihilist. It doesn't matter. They. We all have the physical and mental capacity for our next level. What we're really lacking is the emotional permission to get there. And we're looking usually from the outside, like whatever story you just created as to why you're not at your next level, it's because you're waiting for that thing to change and shift for you to have the emotional permission to move up. And here's the thing, you can't get permission from the outside. You have to give it to yourself. Like if I were to ask you who has the most powerful view or voice in your life or influential view or voice in your life? Usually when I've asked people these questions, they would say, my mentor or my parents or my spouse, partner or my friends or my clients or the leaders in my company or institution. They would give me different things, and I would say, okay, who decides? Let me ask you a question. Who decides how valuable their voice is? You do. Because as soon as you decide that their voice does not have as much weight in your life, that's when their influence drops. That's when their influence drops. I remember 18 years old, I immediately told my parents, hey, when I moved to this college that I'm going to, even though I'm only two hours away, I'm not coming home. It's as if I'm going out of state. I immediately cut off and lowered the weight of their voice. Immediately it shifted within me. So you know what? The most powerful view in your life, it's not your mentors, it's not your partners, it's not your kids, it's not the people in your company. It's not even your clients. The most powerful influence in your life or voice in your life is yours. And you get to now shift. Now, you might say, christian, I'm in an incredible level right now. I am literally growing and growing and growing. But guess what? There's another level inside of you. There's another level you haven't tapped into because you haven't given yourself emotional permission to get there. The only one of the main reasons why you don't have the next level in your life is because you haven't given yourself to the emotional permission that you need. And we're going to do that today. Now, there's two levels of permission, and it doesn't matter. It's literally like, well, what permission are you talking about? Well, you might need to give yourself permission to be the father to your kids that you never had, the father and mother to your kids that you never had. You might need to give yourself permission to really let go of what you currently have in order to reach for the next level. I remember one of my clients, I asked them, you know, what do you need to give yourself permission for your next level? Why you're not get why you're not there. What haven't you given yourself permission on? He said, to let go of my smaller team so I can start reaching and impacting the entire organization. And I said, what? What's held you back? He said, it's the unknown. I know I can Be successful. But at the same time, it's like, I also don't want to feel like I'm leaving them behind while I'm going there, but also when I get there, how will it. And so he hadn't given himself permission yet. Maybe you haven't given yourself permission to finally enjoy life because your seasons of focus have earned you a season of balance. Focus and balance are seasons. People want balance all the time, but balance is a season. Your seasons of focus earn you a season of balance. But some of us have not given ourselves permission to enjoy what you've created. It's not going to stop your hunger, because your hunger is solidified inside of you. It's cemented in you. Trust me, you wouldn't gotten this far if it isn't. But now giving yourself permission to enjoy your spoils a little bit. And so whatever you've not reached on the next level, whether it's the next level of success, the next level of fulfillment, the next level of influence and impact, it usually lies at the next level of your permission. And so there are two things that you need to give yourself permission for. The first one is permission from. Permission from. What does that mean? It means you have to give yourself permission from disappointing all the people that currently you're holding back from, that you don't want to disappoint. I remember when I first ever started my coaching business, when originally, you know, I had no experience in this space, but I just knew I had such a great level of impact. I first wrote down all the names of the people I was going to disappoint, all the people I was going to disappoint in the process. Because the arena that I came from, in general, the nonprofit sector I came from, there are a lot of people expecting me to be a lifer over there, but I didn't. I chose not to. And that was going to disappoint a lot of people. And so I wrote all their names down. And the person that I said I was not going to disappoint was myself. But I said, I'm going to disappoint this person, this person, this person, this person, this person. Because oftentimes what holds us back from giving ourselves permission is also the not wanting to disappoint those people. So permission from first one. Second level of permission is permission to permission to. So you're giving yourself permission from something, and now you're giving yourself permission to something. Think of it. To something. If you only focus on to going towards something without cutting off the From Think of it like this. You're running towards a goal, you're running towards a vision, but now you have weights that you're chained up to. So even if you just only give yourself permission to something, you still got weights slowing you down to a point that you'll get tired. But first you have to cut off the weights. First give yourself permission from. These are the people I'm going to be willing to disappoint in order to go to my next level level. Then after that, then you go towards and you say you set the vision of what I'm going to give myself permission to. Because now you've set the vision of what you're running towards but you've cut off. So you can now go there without any internal conflicts happening within you. Because many of us go four steps forward and five steps back rather than putting all of us in one direction, that's going to create lasting momentum. That's going to give you the impact and the legendary life that you really that is inside of you. The impact, the abundance, the influence, the success, the fulfillment, everything. Your next level. And so permission to. And permission from. And I'll even give you a story really quick and then what we're going to do is I'm gonna, during our session, I really going to want you to think about permission. So when we meet, we're going to do an exercise or an activity together that's going to literally allow you to operate in permission so you no longer are holding back yourself and the people that are waiting for you to step up to your next level. Because believe it or not, there are people that won't be changed unless you reach your next level. There are people that won't be impacted by unless you rise up and give more and be more and do more. There are people who won't be transformed because they're waiting for your arrival, your next level. You. And so let me share with you really quick my first example of encountering permission. I was first starting my coaching business and within two months I was working with a multimillion dollar real estate investor. And I didn't even know because I was just getting started. I was like, I just want to impact anyone. I'm going to get a client. It doesn't even matter. Here we go. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Guess what? We're growing. We're impacting. I went from struggling to pay rent, we were living on food stamps, me and my wife, with my son being born in six weeks to now radically our lives were changed. And I remember after I signed this client on my first ever client that was really big. They didn't even fuss about the amount. That makes sense. So I remember talking to them, and it was after our third session, and at the end of it, they said, wow, Christian, it was so powerful, and thank you so much. I got really incredible insights. Can I ask you a question now? I was like, yeah, sure, ask me a question. They said, because I'm thinking they're going to give me a Q and A. I'm ready, whatever you got. They said, why aren't you charging 50 to $100,000 packages? I said, what? And it blew me away, because at that time, we were working together for three months, and it was just only five grand. First ever coaching. First ever coaching, you know, first three months of my business. I said, five grand over three months, let's do that. And they paid it in one shot. And so they asked, why don't you have 50 to $100,000 packages? And I was like, I don't know. I mean, I. And they said, is it because you feel like you just started? I was like, yeah, well, you did read 200. 200 books. Over three appeared in the years of human psychology, human development, biohacking, all of that. So it's like. And you also wrote three books in a four year period. So, like, you. You literally know what you're talking about. And I was like, well, I was gonna give myself two years. And this person said, who told you to give yourself two years? Great question. And literally that conversation caused me to get in my car. And I was. I was driving home, I was like, what the heck just happened? And I remember calling my wife and I told her. She said. She said, hey, babe, what's going on? I said, babe, we just lost $50,000. And she was like, what does that bank account look like? I said, no, no, not literally. Okay, not literally. And then I relayed the story. 50 to $100,000 packages. And she said, well, I agree. Christian, why aren't you there yet? I was like, of course you agree. You're my wife. And it caused me to go home and do something. And what we're going to do in our session together. I wrote myself a permission letter. I wrote myself a permission letter. And so as I wrote myself a permission letter, I started to tell myself everything. I was waiting for other people to give me. I said, christian, I give you permission to be the $100,000 coach. And then I just started to lay out everything. I was really holding myself back because. Because I had the mental and the physical capacity to do it. What was lacking was the emotional permission. And you might think, well, Christian, I'm at a way higher level than what you're at as far as what you're charging for coaching. But I'm at a way higher level in my career, company, business. It doesn't matter impact, it doesn't matter institution. But guess what? For every next level you want to get to, you need a new level of permission. I needed a first level of permission to make the change from the nonprofit sector to the for profit sector. I need another level of permission to be a six figure coach. I need another level of permission to not work with billion dollar companies and meet with billion dollar presidents and be a seven figure coach. Because even though I had the physical and mental capacity to do so, the emotional permission I was not giving myself. And so for every new level you want to step into, you need a new level of permission. And so in our session that's upcoming, we're going to dive and I'll tell you the five areas of permission that you're going to focus on. And then we're going to write an emotional permission letter together. But here's what I want you to do before you go into our session. I want you to write down all the names of the people you're going to disappoint. Really, I want you to do that. Write down all the names of the people you're going to disappoint. So that way when we go to your next level in our session together, we can write this permission letter and you won't have anything else holding you back. So the next step after the permission letter is taking action, taking steps, being decisive, creating momentum so that everything changes from here on out. So write all the names. I don't care if it's 20 names, I don't care if it's 30 names, I don't care if it's three, I don't even care if it's one. Who are you going to disappoint? Even people from 10 years ago, 15 years ago, it doesn't matter. Write their names and be thorough with it. And so either way, I can't wait to serve you at our next session or one of my coaches to serve you because it's going to be a transformational time that you won't forget. My name is Christian Santiago again and I can't wait to see you at our next session for emotional permission. If that video really impacted you, I would love for you to do two things. Number one, subscribe to our channel, and then, number two, share that video with at least five other people who you know that there's another level inside of them that they need to give themselves emotional permission. And so my name is Christian Santiago, peak performance coach of visionary leaders and entrepreneurs. And if you want to take everything you're doing to another level as well, you can also click on the link and speak with my team. But either way, I'll see you in the next video and operate at your best, because you're more powerful than what you even realize, and there's greatness inside of you. See you then.