Why Men Stop Pursuing Their Wives | Rejection, Sex & Marriage After 25 Years

a—

it's an interesting balancing game for me right now because I do want to pursue. There's still a twinge of me of rejection.

Wow, why are you going into pouty mode and you feel so rejected? And then you talk to all your guys and we're like, we're all rejected.

Well, here we are back for another episode of the Garrett J White podcast, and last week we had a bit of a fiery conversation about math.

No, you're just sexually frustrated.

I was. I'm not sexually frustrated this week. We haven't had a lot of sex.

Did you handle yourself?

No, no masturbation.

This is a great start to the show. Yep.

Nope, nope, that's not the case. I don't know, I just, you know, I stopped drinking alcohol.

Does alcohol make you hornier?

I don't know, there seems to be a connection. I don't know what's going on. I literally stopped, I'm almost 10 days of no alcohol.

You know what? Okay, so I was like reading something online that like men feel rejected, but, but here's the thing, like you don't pursue a lot, and then like sometimes if you do pursue, if there happens to be like a rejection, it then it's like you don't ever want to pursue.

Yeah.

And it's not even a rejection, it's just like like you can tell I want to cuddle, or I don't ever like, like really reject you. I just am like, oh, let's just cuddle, and you can tell it's kind of like not gonna happen.

I think the, I think that the hardest approach for a guy is you— if you look at it this way, like, and we don't spend the whole topic on sex, we got a lot of stuff to talk about today, but we're going right into it. You, since you did take it to the topic of sex, that'd be great. I think, I think what ends up happening, at least from myself and for a vast majority of the men that I've ever coach, taught, led, or mentored is that you get to a place like if there was— if you have a long history of the potential or the actuality of rejection, then your mind thinks about it. It's like when we were looking at high-rise condos and every high-rise condo went up had the bird zappers on the rails, and the first one that we went to, I didn't know the bird zappers were on, and I touched the top rail and it zapped me. And then I went to a second high-rise condo with you we're looking at, and I zapped again. Every condo I went to, I was now triggered by the Braille because I thought I was going to get zapped.

But you're not zapped every time you approach me.

No, that's just why I don't approach. And you don't get zapped if you don't go to the high-rise. You don't get zapped.

No, there was like, there was like years where I was the initiator and I was like, I'm over being initiated.

About 8 years you're the initiator.

Yeah, I got tired of doing that. I was like, I don't want to initiate anymore.

How many times you rejected when you initiated?

Um, like once a month.

Once a month? For sure. You're nuts.

Yes.

I did never reject you.

Yes, you did.

Once a month?

You didn't, but your member did.

My member rejected you? Oh, you had to go there, didn't you?

You just said that.

It's called a member. You call it a member?

What did you want me to call it on a podcast?

Penis? Okay, well, it didn't— it didn't have a problem once a month. No, but you did have a problem a couple times that I do remember.

A couple of times.

Yeah, I was not happy about that.

I was like, man, this is a problem. But it's because you were in your feel-free days.

Yeah.

And that it was— and you weren't on like your testosterone and all your things. But then it's like a— it's like a catch-22 because it's like for older men that get on testosterone, or even younger men, it's like all of a sudden you're like, whoa, he's like a teenager again. So then you're like, you want them to like chill out, but then when they chill out, you're like, I don't feel sexy, he doesn't want me, he doesn't notice me. And then you go on like your testosterone testosterone, and you're like, shit, like, split the difference.

Well, I think— listen, I'll just come back to the same thing. It's like, you don't have a— you probably feel the wake of rejection in some area with me. I don't know what that would be, but like, in—

I don't feel a rejection. I feel this like attempt to kind of control. Like, like you feel that a little bit?

Like I try to control you?

Like a little bit.

In what?

Um, it could be like business decisions or financially, or like a topic we had the other day, and you're like, this is what we're doing, and I was like, I don't agree, and you were like, I don't care, and I was like, oh well, that's good to know. It's like, you don't get to make that call even though you're like the main provider. I was like, you didn't even like give me two cents to like explain. I was like, no, I do get to have a say in this.

That's what we feel about sex.

You do.

Guys feel that way. You got to look at it this way. And again, we don't understand this topic. It's just, it's a topic that comes up. Like, my, my top 3 posts in the past month are all about sex, and they have like 100,000 views each and thousands and thousands of comments and likes.

But, but a lot of the men you talk about that you coach, and I'm like, I am sorry, like, you cannot compare their wives to me.

I— listen, I'm not necessarily comparing you to them. I'm comparing you to me. Randy, you change the woman— tall, short, fat, fit, black, white, Latin, Asian, it doesn't seem to matter. The Latin girls tend to have a little more spice to them, but like, from what I understand and experience, not personally, what I'm saying is from the guys with Latin women, even when they're pissed off, these women still want to— a lot of them still want to have sex a lot. But for most guys, it's not the case. But if you get a place where you felt rejected over and over and over and over again, it's a little— you're a little gunshot. Because in business, if you get rejected, like, whatever, fuck off, and you just go somewhere else. It's like, you told me no, that's fine, I'm gonna go ask that person. Yes, do you want to buy this? No.

But do you pursue— like, okay, so say in sales, if somebody tells you no, are you like, it's a no, okay, I'm gonna go over here?

No, we'll overcome some objections.

Really?

Yeah, we'll do some overcoming objections. And that if we still get a no, you're like, okay, cool. And if you still get a no, then you're like, all right, wish you the best of luck.

I've never had you pursue— like, if I'm like, I'm tired, I have a headache, I— you're like, okay, you just automatically go laptop, or let's watch a comedy, or whatever, comedian. Like, if I remotely— I'm like, oh, sorry, maybe I just don't feel good, or I'm too tired, or I'm like really buzzed, it's not gonna be that fun for me tonight. Like, you, you don't even— I have not experienced you to try to like even seduce or massage or anything. You're like, all right, she's tired.

Do you want to know why? Yeah, it's the twitches.

It's the twitches. Yeah, I twitch.

So you gotta understand, it's like in, in selling, you go with trial closes, you go with pre-frames, you go with— yeah, momentum. You do these things where you're kind of feeling out where the prospect is. Hey, is this going to work? Should I make an offer? Should I make a pitch? You do it from stage, you do it one-on-one, etc. Should I invoke this situation? So I'll put out some trial closes. Put my hand on your leg, put my hand on your ass, cuddle in tight to you, hold you, put my hand underneath you, maybe cup the underneath your breast, maybe try to kiss you on the neck, something like I'll do. I'll do trial closes. But you have a twitch, which I've done some studying, and I think that women who have felt incredible amounts of pressure— this is what the women are saying, some of the women I saw— excited for this, feeling a ton of pressure and have felt sexual pressure in their marriage for a long period of time, even if their mind says something, their body says something different, which means attraction.

How many, how many women have you coached?

Uh, not too many.

Okay, so where does this data come from?

Instagram. Okay, solid, solid truth. Okay, solid truth on this.

It's like the math from last week.

It could be AI, I don't know. But you told me it was wrong. Is there times in your brain as a woman where your mind's like I love my husband, he's amazing, shows up for the kids, provides for our life, takes me on date night, says these things, but your body says no. Your head says this should be— I like, I should be turned on by this, like by him, but my body's like, I am not turned on at all.

I have to be honest, I have— I think I have like a sensory thing because I know some people like love being tickled. I don't care if it was like you or my daughter, or I think I have like— and I've noticed that with our daughters like Ruby, like I'll come up like, hey Rube, and I'm like, I'll like tickle her and she's like, ah. And then if I do that to Bailey, she's like, oh, that feels really good. And so I'm like, okay, like I don't think you're kind of taking it personal, but I think I literally have like a sensory thing. But I love massages because it feels like intentional, and I don't like the tickly thing. And I also, for women, like if we, if we're like sitting there watching a movie and it's like straight to the, or the straight to the breasts, you're like, whoa, wasn't ready, hold up.

What's the approach? What should the approach be for you?

For me, the approach, I think I'm like—

I mean, we've only been together for 25 years.

I like exchanges. Like, if there's any time you've offered me a massage, have you not gotten laid?

No, I get laid every time if I give you a massage.

So how is that not like a clue to success here?

So I should offer you a massage a couple times a week?

I mean, for some reason that works for me. I'm like, okay, relaxes me. There's no TV going on. I can turn my brain off. Like, unless I fall asleep, which has happened. You've been like, I felt bad you fell asleep, but I didn't want to wake you back up. And I'm like, oh, thanks. Yeah, that's a great massage. And it's like you giving me an exchange without expecting something else. Because there's been times too where I fall asleep and then you wake me back up and I'm like, oh! Yeah. I'll go with it, but like, I'm like, we're finishing, we're finishing this massage. And then you wake up the next day and you're like, I kind of felt bad that I took advantage of you. And I was like, you should.

So I, I'm gonna tell you, like, it is, it's a very— when, when business pressure rises, when stress with the kids, when the whole thing happens, for me it's interesting, like, your bandwidth at the end of the day to overcome objections goes down.

I think your bandwidth to try goes down.

Yeah, it goes down.

You're like, 'Hey baby, I provided.

Roll over.' No, I don't do that. I don't do that.

Well, no, you don't. But if the aggressive rubbing doesn't equal sex, you're like, 'Shh, bum.' I just— I wish men didn't feel so like, like, uh, rejected, because I don't think that women are intentionally being like, 'Well, fuck you, you're not a provider, and screw you.' And I think that guys create this like huge story in their head, and I also got a lot of data off of Instagram.

Oh, tell me about it.

I've seen posts where like, it's like, men, stop feeling rejected, like look inwards. I mean, I can't remember like specific posts, but I've seen somewhere I'm like, oh my God, thank you. Yeah, I'm not saying just because I like didn't want to be tickled or I didn't want my ass grabbed at that moment and I was kind of tired and thinking about kids and shit, like I don't think you're a shitty husband and don't— and I find you attractive and I love you and I do like sex, like Wow, why are you going into pouty mode and you feel so rejected? And then you talk to all your guys and we're like, we're all rejected, all of us are rejected.

I don't go to pouty mode anymore.

I know, but I'm just saying, I'm sure women can relate to hearing that because, you know, we've experienced that. You don't go to pouty mode anymore. You did for a long time.

Yeah, I did.

Now you're just like, now it's shut off mode. So I'm like, I don't know, I don't think it's shut off. Yeah, it's kind of like shut off, kind of a— it's like a, just like an accepting, it's like It's shut off in the sense we're like, I tried, just wanna whatever. But then the problem even with that is like you're not like putting a lot of energy into that. But the problem is with that, us women, we can feel it. We're like, oh no, oh no. And the energy just kind of like builds and builds and builds and builds. And you're like, it's like, what do you mean the energy builds? Where I'm like, oh, he's not— you get to this point where you're like, he's kind of being grouchy towards me and he's not, not looking at me with like googly eyes, and you're like, oh yeah, he hasn't been laid in like 4 or 5 days. Okay. And it's almost like you're just looking at me like I'm like your roommate, you know? You're just kind of like, what's up, babe?

Yeah. Haven't you seen those clips on Instagram?

What clips?

You haven't seen those where like the dude walks in to his, his girl who's in the kitchen? There are like tons of them. People have done these reactions where they come in and like, when you haven't got in a while, she's like hot in the kitchen and she's like doing some, some short shorts on, and she comes in thinking he's coming to give her like a hug or a kiss and She comes in to give him a kiss and he's like, oh, what's up, bro? Give me five. Let's go. Give him five. But good job. Hey, good day. Have a good one. Kill it today.

Why do you, why do you do that to yourselves?

We, we don't, cuz just like, why do women do that? Why do women do that?

It's a little bit of a shut off mode. It's like a protective mechanism for men. They're like, okay, I don't want to be pissed at her, I don't want to be frustrated at her, but I'm just going to like shut it off. No different than you would see an attractive woman, you're like, I'm married, shut it off. But then you start to do it to your wife. You're like, shut it off. She's not interested. Shut it off.

And we're like, well, here's the, here's the thing. It gets weird for me is like, I'll be sitting there like I have a lot going on. I'm going to commit to doing all that stuff. We go to the gym this morning and we have a good time. We have good conversations. We're talking about some serious stuff all morning. And then we have a good workout. I feel like I'm a good trainer. Do some good training for you. Got the shoulders in play today. Good job. And 'Then I'm coming to take a shower, you're naked in the closet.' And my mind, like, literally my mind starts to play out like ratios. It's like, 'Is it worth it? Is it worth trying to go for it? Is it not? You got a lot of shit to do. Fuck it, take a shower, let's go.' So you— but I used to be pouty and angry about it. Now I'm in a place where I've also recognized I have used sex as a soother for my own stress. So, which is how you probably came to terms with like feeling constantly telling me you feel so much pressure with it, which I didn't understand why you felt so much pressure. But if you're the soother to soothe my soul and I have to have sex to feel soothed, that's a problem. But if I can soothe myself, then the interesting part is then it's like my attachment to having sex goes way down. Yeah, I mean, so whether we have it or we don't have it, I'm like—

but I'm going to be like completely transparent on this podcast.

You've done a good job of taking here. I did— you said we always talk about sex on the podcast and I didn't go there and you bought it, obviously.

Topic. I don't think that women feel comfortable talking about it, but obviously clearly men talk about it all the time. I, I, for the first part of our marriage, it was like, it was like I was a prude and I didn't put out, and then I like flipped the narrative on myself and I was like, gosh, I don't want him to feel that way, and I want to define myself and all these things. And it was just the key to success was like, if I have, if I give my husband more sex, then he will be happy. So I was like, Fuck it, let's be Stripper Danielle. Let's do it. And I found a lot of power in myself and certainty and was like, wow, this is very powerful. Yeah, I like this. This is fun. And, and then it got to this place where I was like Stripper Danielle for like 5 years. And then you came to me and it was like you were unhappy and it wasn't enough. And we were like, you still weren't satisfied. And I was like, what in the fuck? So you tell me that you need more sex, lots of it, crazy sex. I become— I'm— I grew up Mormon. I've been married to one man my entire life. And I'm like, cool, let's bring Daniela out.

Susana.

Let's bring her, let's create this character. And you know, if I do something, I do it well. So then at the end of it, I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I'm like, I cannot determine your happiness and more sex is not going to make you happier. It might be filling a void for a period of time, but clearly you gotta look inward. I was like, I don't know what it is. So I kind of just got to this place where I was like, hmm, he's still angry. And I was like, I don't know how to make him happy. And then I just kind of was like, well, fuck it, I'll just kind of do my thing and see where it goes. And interestingly enough, it— I was the pursuer, I was the engager, and in the end I am feeling left like, huh, Why doesn't he still want to make the effort to seduce me if I changed into this different character? What's Garrett's sexual character? Because clearly what you're doing right now, and maybe for a lot of men, is leaving you feeling rejected, shut off, or whatever it is. So I'm only sharing this because I'm looking to solve the problem.

We have a problem?

No, men have a problem in general.

I think you're talking about me as a man has a problem. You brought up, you brought up the entire You brought up the game of like, why don't you just control the bedroom like you control a training room? You know, you're watching in front of 5,000 people to concentrate. You said, why can't you just be a trainer in the bedroom?

And I was like, I have never—

you have said that. Where's your authority from stage? Why don't you bring that to the bedroom? You've said this. Okay, you might have been drinking with a little too much tequila when you said it, but you said it. Here, here's—

I made a comment that like every woman has a fantasy of like kind of being like taken. You're like, oh, but then really realistically, like the scene has to be set. If you're in the middle of doing something and you're taken in the wrong context, you be like, oh, you jerk, what are you doing?

What is— what is the signal when we come home from date night and you put on big sweats? Is that a— is that— that's a try harder signal? You should try harder to get all these sweats off me?

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

So, so I am telling you though, like, even if I put— I do, I do love putting sweats on. I always have cute underwear underneath it, so you don't have to worry about that. But I— if, if literally my favorite would be like, you're open to cuddling, but then you're like If you're just directing, you're like, as long as I'm not like comatose and we're watching a show and we're having fun and we connected, it would be something as simple as like, hey, how about we put on some music and I give you a little massage? I'm like, okay, okay. If you're saying that every night, I'm like, babe, I don't like that one. You don't need that many massages.

Well, here's the thing that's interesting. Our sex quantity has dropped significantly in the last year compared to what I've been for about 3 or 4 years.

Yeah, it was over the performance when you weren't happy anymore. I was like, I fucking give up.

I got it. Here was interesting. During all sex time, we hardly cuddled and we hardly held hands at night. And yet the last year where sex has gone down a lot, and it's been different— it's not been wild sex, not multi-position. It's like occasionally it is, but most of the time it's pretty normal vanilla, but it's very connecting.

Very vanilla.

Very vanilla. Missionary or reverse missionary is like one of the two, and it's nice. It's not wild, it's not crazy, it's nice. And I enjoy it. You enjoy it. It's great. But also, if you look at what's happened too, is like we in the last year have been cuddling to sleep like 85% of the nights. Like there's a desire for you to be held by me and I want to hold you. So it's a weird game because during all the years we were having tons of sex, we never— we hardly ever cuddled. We'd get done and you'd go to your side, I'd go to my side, and maybe we'd hold hands across the bed. There was very little cuddling that was happening, which I've actually come to really enjoy in the last year, which is like Like last night, last night we went, we saw our grandbaby, we hung out, we had date night with our daughter and her grandbaby. We came back to the house. I didn't shower. I showered last night, put on some sweats, which is a new routine. I shower at night. I've been doing that for like 2 years. We came in. I don't remember why. We didn't watch a show or anything.

No, it was like already like 9:45.

We were cuddled in and we just— I just held you and went to sleep.

Yeah.

Which was nice.

Yeah. What is it?

I should have offered a massage last night.

Um, if it's like— it depends. Like, if it's like a weekend where we don't have anything going on or we're not getting up, I think I'm like open to staying up later. But I'm kind of a grandma. Like, if we get— like, for us to come home on a Tuesday at like 9:30, 9:45, I'm like, oh, it's kind of like— because I have to like turn it back on. Yeah, like mentally a little bit. I'm like, okay, I gotta relax, but I also gotta turn it back on. I gotta focus. It's like a weird— it's a weird position for a girl because it's like, I gotta relax And I also got to focus.

I get it. Well, listen, I have been working on a project with myself for the past 6 to 12 months, which is when I came to the awareness that I was using sex as a soother.

Don't— that's gross.

No, I'm going to call it a soother. What is a soother?

So there's a binky.

Exactly. That's not attractive. But if I'm sitting trying to regulate my nervous system and the only way— one of the ways I can do that is to have sex with you, which is a true principle for guys. Having sex calms guys, it connects them. Like, we— I feel more connected to you when we have sex. And but if that's the only time I'm having sex with you is when I'm needing to be soothed or I'm stressed or it's been a long day—

release. Why don't we just call it a release?

It is a release, a soothe, a release. Okay, so when sex becomes just about release, like, you're not really down with that either.

That's it.

But that's not been historically something you care about.

Here's what I will tell you for women, like We, if our man is like stressed or it's been a while, what happens in our mind is like the guilt builds up. So we're kind of, it's not like guilt sex, but we're like, oh God, like I want to relieve some of this tension from him because I know he's going to be like sweeter and more relaxed and less rigid. Even if, even if you're not like rigid or mad at me, it's because you're stressed at work. And I'm like, if I soothe him, whatever you want to call it, if I release him, he's more pleasant to be around regardless of the stress that's going on at work. And so for women, we have that chip where we're like, we don't need to soothed. We're not like, man, I need a nut right now. Like, we know our lives will be better if our man is satisfied. You ask any woman, that is principle for women.

So did you know that the first 12 years we were married?

Probably not, but you didn't. But here's the thing, guys get all— guys get a little bit butthurt about the soothing. They're like, oh, don't just throw me a bone. And I'm like, why? You need— you need to be soothed right now. Let me do my wifey duty and and everybody's happy. I appreciate that you're out there hunting. That's great. You know, like, is that really how you look at it?

You really do think that way? I'm not questioning you, I'm just verifying.

Women are listening to this. They may not admit it, and I am admitting it for you. If you're listening to this with your husband, they're going to be like, babe, do you feel this way? And she'll be like, well, no, babe. Oh yes, exactly. Yes, I do feel that way. Yes, I do feel that way. And here's the thing, we've talked to some of our couple friends and like, oh, it's pincushion sex. Yeah, if you lay there like a fucking corpse, your guy's gonna feel bad for like getting a release in you. So please don't do that, ladies. That's weird. Like, at least like show that you care and you're not like, fine, I'll do it. Because the release— we don't care if we get off. And in fact, we can actually connect knowing that you're fulfilled. We're like, wow, I'm glad that he got that release, even if we don't have an orgasm or we're too tired or whatever it is. This is part of marriage, is that I can, I can be in that situation with you, not a dead corpse, and I can still be like, hold you and be like, I'm glad you had that release and we had that connection together. Women, we don't need that kind of release. We just don't. So if I'm speaking to men and women in this, ladies, if you understand that your man needs a release, please don't be a dead corpse because it can still be very valuable and connecting for both of you. That's my tip of the week.

I like it. Listen, I know you want to be pursued. And I think I, I think I do a— it's interesting to me because I was telling you this from, from like what the shifts we made coming into 2026, like we spent more time together in the last 6 months, like with our current schedule between 2 to 3 date nights a week, like 2, 2 times during the week, usually a Saturday together or— and then Wednesday mornings at the gym. So like we have like 2 date nights a week, a Saturday date either during the day or at night. Plus we have a Wednesday all morning together until like 11 o'clock. We go to the gym, I take the kids to school, and we hang out. Like, the combined amount of time that we're spending together, zinglu, was like incredibly high, higher than it's ever been for us. And we've been going on dates like for a decade plus, like every week at least once. But as the time went up, do you feel more seen in the time? Like, does it make you— because what, what is the— what does pursuit actually mean? Does pursuit mean that I feel like I'm kissing you on the neck?

It means I'm actually I feel more connected to you, but the reality is, for me and probably a lot of women, I'm like, oh, I feel more respect and love. I'm not hornier though. Yeah, but I'm also like, hey, he needs, he needs release. And I'm more like less resentful if there's more time spent together and I'm feeling connected. I'm like, oh, these are my needs, okay, these are his needs. That, that's what I noticed.

But what do you think it is? What— when you look at the pressure conversation—

but sorry, to go back and answer your question, if there's not that time there and there's no attention, that's when it's corpse sex. And, and women are like, uh, fine, he's providing, uh, I'll put in my mommy or my wifey duty. And they're almost— but then they're like, they feel like gross and they feel like resentful because they're like, I'll do my wifey duty, just to make him feel peace. But that's when it's not like, I'm doing this because I love him, I'm doing this because I want to connect with him. I'm— it's, it's literally, that's when it builds up like, like resentment. And that's when you get couples that like don't have sex for a long time because the wife just gets to this point where she's like, you're physically gross to me. There's so much resentment. Doesn't matter how hot you are of a man or how success— successful of a man you are, the women will build up a wall and become so resentful that they like are just like trapped in this prison of marriage of just being like, well, if he's paying the bills, I guess I'll live in this hellhole. And like, and I'm sure you have talked and coached many guys who are like, I haven't had sex in a month or a year. Trust me, she's in as big a prison as you are, but she doesn't maybe believe in herself enough to actually like get out of that prison or expect more out of the relationship or have those tough conversations.

Yeah, well, listen, I have the— okay, we got the massage strategy clear on that one. I think that there's, there's a, a— it's an interesting balancing game for me right now because I do want to pursue. There's still a twinge of me of rejection that I still have to manage and navigate. There's, there, there used to be a while where I, even if I was like approaching you, my nervous system would freak out. Like I was going to be punished or rejected. Just like after, like, we lost everything in 2008 and '09, and for years, probably 10 years, anytime that we would run a credit card, I was— there was a piece of my brain that was like, this thing's gonna be denied. And I was nervous as shit about it. Even after like 8, 9 years where it wasn't even a problem, I would still— if there was like— like, we'd be out of the country and I know the card would get denied, I'd freak the fuck out. So it's like I— go ahead.

I've studied so many books and teachings that you cannot erase childhood or traumas in your life, but you can't then let them dictate who you are, what you've done, and where you're at in life. Does that make sense? And unfortunately, when you feel that trigger, you can't like sit and dwell on it. One of my books that I've talked to you that I've been reading— well, I finished, and I— it's like one of those books you'd go back and listen to or read again. It's The Untethered soul. And it's like, you can experience life one or two ways, like in your own personal hell or not. And, and when you have these triggers— we all have these triggers— you can't let it affect you. And you're like, how do I not let it affect you? And I think for me, it— for me and my triggers, I have to literally be like, no. I have to push them away. I'm like, no. Like, it comes up and I'm like, no. And the more I do that, not just with you, but in like religion triggers and family triggers and things like that, I've had multiple scenarios, whether it was with food, family, religion, or culture, where I'm like, no. I literally— I hate the feeling of being triggered so much, and owning my mind that I have practiced this, where I just tell myself no. And I'm like, get out, get out. And the more you do that, it's more you like retrain your brain to not be triggered. It's like a foodie is like, I have to have treats, I have to have treats, and you tell yourself no, no, no. No, no, we've talked about this to where you're like, I don't even want a treat. That's so weird that like I had to have a cookie, 7 cookies every night, like, and I couldn't control myself and the triggers and I needed to binge eat these cookies. And now we look at a dessert and I'm like, ew, like, not really ew, but I'm like, I just don't have the desire. I think that you can do that with triggers. I think you can retrain your brain to not be triggered and create stories. It takes a constant effort to take that trigger and say no. And, you know, people have said, oh, you're cold and you didn't process that. I'm like, fuck you. I don't need to process this anymore. This trigger is dead to me. It is not who I am. It does not own me. It doesn't own real estate in my fucking mind. And so I say when something comes in, I'm like, that is not me. And I can just push it away. And I don't know if that makes me cold, but I'm like, it doesn't bug me. It's on you. If it bugs you, then that's your trigger. It's not mine.

I don't disagree with you. I remember there were times where it's been like a week, 10 days, we hadn't had sex, and I remember getting to a point where you kind of just get to a place where you're like, okay, I'm just going to— I'm just going to shove it down, ignore it, and work. And then, then there's— you could— there were even situations or places where I would avoid you to not have sex because of the idea of having sex and then not knowing when or if it would come again for another week or two or a week and a half. I was like, worse. It was like, dude, I'm going to open up Pandora's box. Instead of opening Pandora's box, let's just keep it shut. I'm chill right now. I'm good. If we activate it, then my flow is going to be back in place and then I'm going to be horny all the time. And then it's going to— I don't know, it might be a week, it might be 10 days. We weren't always in a good rhythm. That's the thing. I think it's funny is like you breezed through the first 15 years of our marriage like there was no trauma for me in the first 15 years with this topic. I spent 10 to 15 years with a woman who was uncomfortable with sex, uncomfortable with her own self, couldn't have sex with the windows without the lights off, blinds down, covers over us, two North Face jackets. And like, you were, you were not comfortable with your own sexuality.

It was the Mormon garments.

But I'm just telling you, so like, I, I lived through a decade and a half of that as a young married guy with you. And then things started to pivot. But dude, we, we had a collision conversation in 2016.

Some context behind that. Both of us were raised Mormon. You have been with two people your whole life. I've been with one. And I got married— I got with you so young, and I didn't know. And my parents were not communicative growing up. It was— sex was not talked about. It was not accepted. If you did talk about it, you were weird and gross, and how dare you, and this is uncomfortable, let's just shove it under the rug. And I was like, okay. So I, in my cute little brain as an 18-year-old when I met you, got married at 20, I literally had— I, I didn't know girls ovulated. I was so naive to the point where like I thought you like, you just get married and you have sex and it is just like this fairy tale. Like, and I'm— if you talk to any like, you know, 15, 16-year-old and anybody, they were like, your first time having sex is weird. Nobody told me that. Yeah, I was just like, I thought it was gonna be like fireworks going off and like orgasms went on for nights and days. Nobody told me shit. Yeah, so I get married and I'm like, I was feeling guilty. I remember our wedding night, waking up the next day and I'm like, I think I fucked up. That wasn't fun at all. And then I like had so much shame and guilt on myself that I'm broken and wrong and that should have been fireworks for hours. And I was like, and I was so, so introverted and so uncomfortable with myself because of how I was raised and naturally being quiet. I was just like God, I think I'm broken. I— this should be working and it's not. And so for years with you, I was just like— I remember you were like, be like, you should go see a doctor, like, you should be horny. And like, it's our— I remember like on our honeymoon, you're like, I think that birth control fucked you up, like, you should— this should be good for you. And I remember just being like, you're right, I think I'm broken. Like, I had no idea. I had no idea.

Yeah, well, and I, I didn't have the tools at the time to actually try to talk you through it. I don't know how to—

you'd been with one other woman and like, like, and we were both raised in the Mormon culture. Like, we had to kind of go off the deep end for a second just to sexually figure us out and ourselves out. Like, I'm like, you know, most people, most people probably get divorced and go on a bender and then they're like, oh, this is how it is. And I was like, but maybe you could like get to know each other and go on a bender together. And I feel like that, like, that's kind of what we did and it was fun. Now we're like, well, fuck, okay. Well, we're here, we did that, we went and cheated on ourselves with each other for 10 different characters. Now we're like, huh, we're like that person that breaks up and goes on a bender and then they're right back to the same place. I'm like, well, that was a fun bender. Now what do we do?

Yeah, we definitely created new characters with each other for sure. It became like something amazing. I think I just am at this place where I'm like, I don't know if it's because I'm coming 50. If it's a function of being a grandpa now for a week.

I feel like you're going through like a midlife crisis.

I probably am going through a midlife crisis, but I'm like sitting in this place, I'm like, dude, what would my— I remember having this thought a few weeks ago, I was like, what if sex had no power over me? Because it's had power over me my whole life. Like there's a shitload of stuff that I would do and tolerate and behaviors I would accept in you, situations in us, things I would do with myself just to try to get laid. I was like, dude, I'll do all these things and then hopefully I get laid. I'm not saying that's the right approach, I'm just saying that's how the approach was for me. So I got to this point where I, I started asking questions a couple years ago. I was like, what if, what if it had no power over me at all? I had it, great. If I didn't, great. Either way, I was not happier or less happy whether I had it or I did not have it.

That's good.

What if my happiness was not determined by the number of times my penis was in your vagina? And unfortunately, for a lot of our marriage, it's a scorekeeping session for me to where I could remember the exact time, exact date, the last time we had sex.

I know the data.

I had data. I would track it in my brain because I was like, what? Because we'd be like, oh, we had sex like 5 times. Because like, no, we didn't. We had sex a week ago. It was right after this. It was like 9:30 PM. I know, I'm sure that's not quite a turn-on for you either, but what I've noticed happen even for me this year is like there's less— there's just less. Again, it could be my age. There's just less. I'm like, I, I actually, at a certain point as a man, I hate being controlled by— with sex by you.

I don't like—

like, I hate you having control over me. I hate that your vagina has that kind of power over me.

I'm like, But I don't want that, that you're putting that control on yourself.

I'm— listen, I get it. I'm the one that gave the power to your vagina. You didn't give the vagina power to me. Like, you hold— you hold the vagina.

I think that's— I think too, for me, like, I don't do well with pressure. Like, even in sales, when somebody comes at me with pressure, I shut down. Like, when they— like, immediately. Like, even in like a store, like, I'll go into Nordstrom's and I could be like really interested in a dress and a girl comes over and I'm like, ah, and I like dart the other way. I'm like I personally don't do well with pressure sales. I'm like, I'm actually turned off by it. Like, the more people pressure me, I'm like, no. Like, if somebody kind of in sales plants the seed, plays hard to get, what they're doing is they're actually solving a problem. They're not actually selling. They're selling me on what I need. I just don't know it. But they kind of like back off with less pressure. I'm like, and then I convince myself that I need it because of the sales approach.

So that's your sex approach, is to convince you you need it without telling you you need it.

No, I'm just saying, like, high-pressure sales for a lot of women— not saying all— does not work. And I remember you were kind of trying to coach me on sales, and I was like, babe, I love you, you are selling to men. And men, you can put that kind of pressure and, like, be silent and, like, hold the line, and they're like, fuck it, yeah, here's my card. Women are immediately like, I gotta talk to my husband about this, my grandma and my dog and 75 other people, and I'll get back to you. You're like, fuck, I pressured them too much and now they're shutting down and they got to talk to their dog and their uncle and their grandma. Because women don't respond the same to sales as men.

Here's the thing I'll tell you too about sex is— I said sales. I know, sales the same way.

But I was saying, possibly sex is like sales for women.

Yeah, if you put— if as a guy, if I put tremendous amount of value on an orgasm But you actually back away from that 3 to 4 minute experience, 5 minute experience, and your orgasm, you're like, is it really that valuable? Like, in the grand scheme of my life, is it really that— that 3 minutes was worth me being stressed out for like 5 days for 3 minutes? Like, what if that 3 minutes didn't matter? What if I didn't care about that 3 minutes? What if 3 minutes happened like, hey dude, you want some orange juice? Sure. Hey, do you have any orange juice? No. Okay, no orange juice.

Do you have to shut off to it then, just like you would any other, like, not addiction, but like you're like, oh, I have to have a cookie every night. If I have a cookie, then I'm happy.

Well, it's a weird piece for me.

Like, so then if you're like, oh, I'm the happiest when I'm having sex, but then it's like, it's, it's hard because like for men, I just want to finish this. So for men, like If you're like shutting down the cookie for so long, then you're like, I don't really need the cookie, and then you lose attraction to the cookie. So for your wife, if you're like, I don't really need it, I don't really need it, I don't really need it, and then you're just kind of in this relationship where there's no polarity, there's no connection, there's no attraction there because you've told yourself like, I don't want to be— I don't want to think about this so much. And I get it because as a woman, women think about certain things, whether it's food, shopping, whatever it is. Everybody has come kind of some kind of obsession that hits in their brain all the time, and it's really hard to be like, I don't need that. But the scary dance is if you say I don't need it, eventually you don't need it.

Yeah.

Or you move on and you find a partner that you're like, oh, this chemistry is back, until you're like, I don't want to be controlled by this ex-card again. And then you just replay the whole damn scenario.

I don't disagree with you.

So there's got to be like this healthy balance where you're like, I don't want this to control me, because I get it. I've had so many things in my life where I'm like, I, I'm done with this, whether it's culture, community, food, whatever. I'm like, I'm done obsessing about this, and I don't want you in my mind anymore controlling me, you know. And so what happens is we kind of like push it away.

I don't know if I push— I don't know if I push it away as much as I'm in the space where I'm like, I just gotta get to this point. I've gotten to this point the last 6 months with a lot of things where I'm like, I've given a lot of people power and control over my mind, and I've given a lot of people too much credit, and I've given a lot of situations in my life, in business, with team members, with clients—

definitely a giver.

Where I've given so much and what I've wanted has not come back. And so I'm like, am I overgiving with the desire to be given? But the problem with being an overgiver is you should typically around lots of takers because takers line up with overgivers. Oh, for sure, it's a desire to be accepted. But if I'm an overgiver, you tend to find overgivers, people who give too much because they're trying to feel something in themselves, so they just keep giving, giving. They're really bad at receiving, but they tend to line up with people who are really good at taking, have no problem taking. So they're Okay, I'm with the giver because I like to take and I don't really want to give, but he likes to give and I like to take. So here we go. Or switch roles.

So then you're resentful because you're a giver, but you don't know how to take.

You get to a place of resentment every time as an overgiver because you give too much. And then my mode had always been I give a lot, I give too much, I pay too much. So I got sued from people who said I paid them too much because now they can't make as much after they no longer work for me. And I'm like, okay, whatever. And I'm like, I give and give, but I'm in this new season for myself where I'm like, what if I just stopped doing it? Like, what is this overgiving the world giving me?

I think you got to split the difference.

But I'm like sitting in the extreme question, like, what has it actually brought back to me besides entitlement, dickheads, radical bitches, people who fucking betray me? Like, I'm like, I keep giving so much of my life to so many people, and many of those people receive it, and many of those people just rape me of it.

But are you—

I'm like, what if I fucking just stop doing it?

If you overgive, or you're always disappointed because people don't overgive back to you?

I think it's because people don't give at all. It's like most people, or most people in my experience, are absolutely cool. It's like people going to a church. They go to a church, they have the pastor, they set up the congregation, they go to a sermon, they hear the worship music, etc. They go participate in the congregation, they sit, they drink, they coffee, the donuts, have their kids in childcare. They don't contribute to the church. They don't help with the chairs. Happy to take from the church, but very few are actually there helping with the chairs, doing his setup, volunteering. Sure, go.

I think that you have a standard of like, if someone doesn't give back to you what you've given them, you're like— like, your standard is so high, so then you don't even see like the little bit of like, oh, I gave you— you're like That's like, no, like, I gave you so much. And so you just kind of perceive them as a taker.

Yeah, well, with that, that's— let's use you as an example. Okay, so here's a bottle of water. If I give you— if you give it— if I give you a full bottle of water and you give me like 1/3 of a bottle of water, and I keep giving you a full bottle and you give me a third bottle, and I'm like, stop giving me full, I don't expect it. Yeah, so I just reduce it down to a third of bottle and I stopped giving 75% of the stuff I'm giving.

You don't got to stop giving completely.

Yeah, I just reduce it down to the normal level the person I'm with.

And that actually relieves a lot of pressure. I'm like, oh, thank God. He was like giving me so much, and I was like, I'm not willing and I don't have the time to give that back, and he's gonna expect this, and I just— I'm not willing to do that. So here's your third of a bottle of water. This is all I'm willing to do, and if you want to judge me for the third of a bottle of water, you gotta check yourself.

But here's the problem: when you're used to me always giving you a full bottle and you give me a third, and that's happened for years, then the challenge becomes you're now addicted to the idea of me giving you a full. So when I give you a third, you think I've withdrawn.

I gotta disagree with that.

I've just only given you the same level of value that you're giving me.

There, there was a period of time where, like, and I'll just use this as an example, our house at Nine Oceanfront. It was like, I'm gonna give her cleaners and this and that and that. And I was like, I don't want this. I was like, it is too much. I don't want 5 homeschool teachers, 3 cleaners. Like, I don't want this. And I was like, I know he's trying to help, and I don't want to— like, I, I want to receive, because that's kind of like your thing. That's how you show people. I'm like, I want to receive this. And I almost I want to like almost like let go and be like, okay, he's doing this for us, for our family. I don't want him to think I'm ungrateful. But then I realized in that place of overgiving, I was in my own personal hell. I was like, this is too much. Not only because I feel the amount of pressure, but I don't want this much fucking help because what it does is it takes away my purpose of doing some of these things. And I was like, so sometimes you're overgiving can create people— and I'm not gonna use our children— but it can create like an entitlement factor where they don't actually do it on their own because you've over given.

Totally get it. I don't disagree with you. That's why I'm withdrawing.

Even with, even with people inside of your community, inside of our community, you give them so much that they, they think, they think they built Warrior, or they think they built MBR because you've put them on your fucking platform. You've done everything, you've positioned them, and then they're disappointed when they fail because you overgave them.

Well, I'm interested to see what happens in life when I stop giving so much. That's what I'm— that's the project.

That's the project. Like, just like, you know, one-third, you got to give a little.

One-third.

Yeah, like match the givingness.

But I'm like, I'm interested to see what happens. Like, for example, you sit in a place where you give, give, give, and then people get used to you giving so much, and the minute that you don't give them the same love you gave, people become dicks. And you're like, okay, hold on, I was already giving you a ton and now you're upset at me because I'm not giving you a ton? And I'm like, okay. But this happens everywhere. You kids, teams, clients, everyone. I'm like, I'm just in this interesting place where I'm like, hmm, I've been dependent on certain things like sex to soothe and feel satisfied in myself. I've been dependent on money and thinking money makes me amazing, and then it feels the same thing. And there's this wound underneath all of it. I'm like, what if the only reason that I keep doing all this stuff is because of this wound? And what if I heal this wound in me and I'm actually fully satisfied in myself, then what does that change? Yeah, well, it definitely changes the idea that I need to pursue having sex with you every day. It definitely changes the dynamics of what I pursue in business and money. Like, I got to— you and I've got to live an experience the last 10 to 12 years where we've lived in the houses, we've had the cars, we've had the trips, we've had the travel, we've had the events, we've been at at the top in the game and experience what everybody who's at the top of the game. It doesn't get— it doesn't get much better. The zeros and dollars just change. We're around all those people, but we all have the same hotels, same experience. We've got this place in the last year where I'm like, for a while you could buy the new experience and the new experience provided newness and excitement. Not anymore. Not anymore. Like, there's not even a 5-star hotel I could go to right now with an ocean view. Our last 3 houses have been like the last— in the most insane ocean views. Like, it's a wreck. We go to hotels, I'm like, is it worth $5,000 a night?

I think though, like, for us, you know, it was fun. We lived the lifestyle. But I think both of us know and value that it's not just the lifestyle, the cars, the dollars. Like, it's part of the game. But I think that both of us genuinely value, like, helping other people. Yeah, like, like for me, like, I feel like I'm on my purpose when I can see other people have changes in their lives for the better. I'm like, that is very satisfying to me. That warms my soul, whatever you want to call it. Now, if I'm completely broke and helping people, I'm— that's not gonna work out. Like, I want to have a level of success to where I'm not stressed and I can, I can do that, you know? And so it's part of the game. Like, you have to have success and money because otherwise you're going to resent people you're trying to help because of your own issues, because you don't know how to— you don't know how to make money.

I think the problem is an overgiver though, is that you end up— you say you put yourself first, but you actually put yourself last. Because if your payoff is always coming from giving to everyone else, you will give to the extreme. I see this happen with pastors or running churches here in Miami that I'm connected to. They're giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, giving. Two of these pastors hit complete mental breakdowns in their mid-50s as pastors because they've been giving for 30, 35 years from the ministry, giving everyone Monday through Sunday, giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, saying it's in the name of God's work, etc., only blowing themselves up and disconnecting themselves from themselves.

I'm like, well, there's a high in it. There's a high in helping other people for sure.

And I love helping people who want to be helped. I love guiding if you want to be guided. What I'm just in a place where I'm like, my, my illusion of possibly something I've lived in for 20-plus years, 30 years, that when I have this, then I will be seen.

Is it you will be seen or you will have acceptance of yourself?

That was not the agenda. The agenda was not acceptance of myself. That I didn't even know I should want that. I just was like, okay, if I do this, then she'll see me. If I make this move, then Danielle will see me.

If I—

significant Do this thing. Well, I was like, I just want to be seen for me. And I was like, okay, well, how do I do that? Same thing with you with sex and going on the stripper rampage with me. And I'm not going to strip clubs, I'm just like, you being that— like, you're like, if I do this, then maybe he'll see me. I'm like, if I get her the bigger house, maybe she'll see me. If I get her the Ferrari, maybe she'll see me. Maybe she'll see how much I love her by how much I give her.

But was it just me, or was it the world in general? It was both like the status of Garrett J White and not just my wife must see me.

Of course, sure.

I think it's the world must see me.

You are part of that world, right?

Right. But don't just put it all on me.

For sure, it's both you and the world. Like, I had a story for a long time that the only reason people listened to me was because of the world that we created. Like, they only listen to the message God has to share through me because of the things I have. Oh, it's because he has the Lambo or because he has a house. And I lived in this. It was like So my life had to keep getting bigger and bigger. And I felt the only reason why people would listen to the message I was sharing, even though I got text pictures this morning from Warrior when it started back in 2012 from our original guys texting me today, dude, we were just 11 of us. We got together, we didn't even have matching shirts. We had matching shirts, we had matching shorts. There was no brand, there was no app, there were no books, there was no curriculum, there was no evidence, there was no proof, there was nothing. We're just 11 of us that got together and said, we're going to tell the truth.

Would you trust a broke coach if he had like no success?

Depends on what he's coaching me on.

If he's coaching you on having it all, probably not.

But what is have it all? Like, this is a question. Like, what is have it all? Like, I have a guy— there's a guy, one of our guys lives in an apartment right here, right by the office. Apartments, probably $3,500.

Have it all? That's what you teach. What is that?

I understand that. That's why I'm asking a question, because this is a— this question is different for every single human. And the challenge we found at Warrior is the fact that have it all is not a, not a singular definition. It's like different for every single person. Like, what does having it all actually mean based off your preferences? Just like you've been studying. So it's like, what is a lot of money? What is a lot of sex? What is a lot of time together with your spouse? What does connection with your kids look like? How do you know you're— how do you know you're having it all? What does a fit body look like? What does a deep relationship with God look like? What does communication, sex, and intimacy— what does that look like in your marriage? How would you know if you're having that? What does leading your kids look like? What does money— so when you look at these questions, like, what do these things actually mean? They're different for every person, and they change over time for everyone. But the thing I'm actually after is being free.

Yeah, I like that.

And there's a lot of things that I pursued in having it all that did not make me free.

I think—

but I had it all.

I think—

but I wasn't free.

I think your freedom— and I text you this today, I don't know if you read that text— but I sadly, I feel like your freedom comes from just a really bad abusive childhood, like how you were raised. Like, like, I just, I feel like that really stems some core beliefs inside of you that you're still kind of like, you've proven yourself to some point that you're like, I don't want to do this anymore. It's like little boy Garrett is like, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't know what it is. I just, I, I feel like it's time to understand who you always have been and who you are. And part of this is a part of your journey.

Yeah.

And I can respect that. And I think it's just, I think that it's, it's, it's not sad is not the word I'm looking for. I just am like I want you to be free, you know, because I'm like, in, in you being not free in the sense of like, I'm gonna go live in a tent and walk on fire rocks. I'm like, I, I want you to feel accepted. I want you to understand who you are. Like, when, when you are like teaching and doing your thing, I'm like, oh, that's, that's, that's you, you know. And so it's like you And we all have this. It's like you almost have like your person who you know you are called to be and are, but then there's like always like these kind of— I don't want to say imposter syndrome, but it's like you don't fully see yourself as who you are. Does that make sense?

Yeah. Well, I think the, the person who has the toughest time maybe at times seeing who you are is yourself, and the second one is your spouse. Because we see— when you see someone every single day and you have to experience all of life with that person— kids, marriage, ups, downs, 25 years of life— it's very difficult. Like, I've always wished there was a way without us getting divorced and without us breaking up and being done that I could teleport you into life with another dude and that you teleport me into life another woman for one simple reason: so that you could actually appreciate what I am and who I am and how I show up.

How do you know I don't?

And I would do the same thing for you.

How do you know I don't?

I know you don't at the level I would desire. I know that I don't at the level you would desire. There's pieces we've both had to work on. My reactivity over the years— like, imagine being in a relationship with a guy where you had no— you'd never experience reactivity in that moment with that dude. Like, a version of me now—

I, I gotta be honest, I— the only thing that I worry about with you is I'm like, he's never satisfied.

Neither are you.

No, what, like, with you as a human, I'm like, I think you're a solid human, like, but like, I do, I do, because I think I see your greatness. I'm like, there's no reason you couldn't do this if you wanted and do this and do this. And I'm not saying you still can't, and we haven't, but I, I look at how amazing I know you are and So if at any level I feel like you're playing below your potential, I'm like, no, that's not you. I see you. And you take it as criticism. And I'm like, no, I just— and I know that you can, you can do this, whether it's manage the shit show we're in right now. And I'm like, it sucks, but like, I know, I know you can do this. Like, you, you are that man. So I think maybe a lot of women can relate to this. What comes across as criticism is us truly seeing and believing of who our man is. And, and not that you can't become him, who he is. So we, we hold this standard of like, no, you're better than that. It's not that we're never happy, it's just like, no, the ship kind of took a left and you're better than that. Let's get back on track.

I think if you use the words, you're better than that, that's great. And you've done this more this year than ever, which is you use your words to speak to the truth of what you see. Not just the course correction.

It's hard.

I— if I constantly course corrected— if men constantly course corrected their wives the way that women—

course delivery, delivery is important.

But I'm just saying, if men did that to women, like critique their bodies, pointed out their zits— if we acted to women the way that women—

critical eyes—

I know, but I'm just saying, if men did it to women, women would be wrecked. But women do it to men in a totally different space. And so men are like, just It's not the same. It's totally different. It's the same situation you're saying why selling to women is different than selling to men. So there's this piece of like femininity.

If I pick a zit on your back?

No.

Oh, okay.

I don't care.

I would appreciate it if like Bailey came up to me, was like, Mom, you got this big-ass zit on your nose. I'd be like, do you let me go on public like that? Like, so I don't know if like guys are like, if you're like, think I'm critiquing you if I'm like, babe, you should get a haircut. Like stating the obvious, like, you should probably get a haircut. It's getting a little furry.

No, that's for sure. I'm going to the mountains for my birthday.

I know, but does it offend you? Because I'm like, should I tell him? Do you think I'm being a bitch right now because I like noticed? No, because I appreciate when you get it cut. I'm just switching gears, but I appreciate it when you do get your haircut. Like, I'll be like, your hair looks nice, I like the fade, I like the line. But I'm also going to tell you when I don't like the fade and I don't like the lines not there anymore. It's our job to do that.

Yeah, it's my job to say I don't care because I'm going to the mountains for my 50-year-old birthday. I'm gonna be Grizzly Adams up in North Carolina and have a good time for a few days reviewing the first 50 years of my life.

All right, let's wrap this up. It's gonna have to be a to be continued. Garrett's turning 50 in the next couple years— couple years, couple weeks.

Next couple years Garrett will be 50 years old.

And he was like, I'm not— I don't want to do anything for my birth— like, okay, just so you guys know, like a year ago he's like, I'm doing this huge party and everyone's And we were required to have their shirts off and we're going to be jacked and juicy. And then this year he's like, don't buy me a birthday present. I want to go to the mountains by myself. I was like, no, that is so sad. We are not doing that. So I talked him into— I don't do the mountains thing. I was like, no, thank you. But if that was what makes you happy, you can do that, which you are this weekend. And I was like, how about we go to Costa Rica in the jungle? That's like kind of mountainy, kind of romantic. Like that'll— we'll do that. So, but you seem kind of like bugged at that. Are you excited for that?

I'm excited about that too. Okay, I'm excited to be out with you, and I'm excited to spend some alone time by myself up in the mountains.

There you go. Hopefully you discover your wusa.

My wusa? I don't know, it's like find your wusa in the mountains of the Blue Ridge.

Whenever you like go on like a journey or a trip, I'm always like, okay, I'm just gonna brace myself. I don't know what's gonna come back. Like, did he have vivid dreams? Did he—

I'm not— I'm not doing medicine.

No, I know, but like, whenever you are like, go on a journey moment to find myself, I'm always like, fuck, okay, you should do that, that sounds good. And then I'm like, it's kind of like I'm on eggshells a little bit.

I'm like, how's he gonna come back?

And yeah, I'm like, what new plan are we incorporating? Or how have I been wrong? How am I wrong in this marriage? Or how did he have some discoveries, why, how he was wrong and hasn't respect for me. Like, I never know. It could go like, oh my God, I have respect for my wife, or it could be like, I decided I'm gonna sell everything and move to the mountains permanently. I don't know.

Hey, you'll never know. We'll come back after the journey. We might be selling everything and moving into a small shitty condo cabin in the middle of North Carolina mountains.

You might be. I will not be following you, sir. You have gotten to that level. You have lost yourself, and I'm at a point where I'm ready to find—

you wouldn't move to a cabin in the mountains with me?

No, I don't love you that much. Wow. I, I— if I have not shown that I will move anywhere with you, like, you— if you have to ask me that question—

so the answer is yes, you moved to a cabin?

No, that's obviously a no, and I will course correct you.

What if God told me to move to the mountains and live in a cabin?

I would know that you're a lost soul, and I didn't I did my best to save you.

You're amazing. All right, well, that brings the conclusion here of this amazing show. Also, one of the things you may know here, uh, may not know, is that here at Wake Up Warrior, we run a weekly men's Bible study. It's called Warriors for Christ. You can find it at warriorsforchrist.com, totally free. Um, we have 500, 600 guys, uh, attending or attempting to attend last week. I say attempting to attend because all of our Zoom rooms were locked out, and so we had 550 unique guys trying to get in. There was only room for 100. Would love to have you. We've gotten that repaired and fixed. We go through a 2-hour deep immersion experience. Again, you can check that out at warriorsforchrist.com. Also have another podcast that I do every single day, um, called Warrior on Fire. It's the Daily Eden Scroll. These are my musings around the topics of God, business, and having it all, kind of the next edition of The Warrior's Way. And Danielle has a new book that came out right here called God Is My Ghostwriter. There it is on Amazon, God Is My Ghostwriter.

Well, let me do my own pitch. So this is God Is My Ghostwriter. It's my first published book. It's amazing. It's about being a mom, an entrepreneur, a wife, letting go of limiting beliefs like being married. I mean, kind of like everything you guys have heard on the show. It's my story of the last like 15 years. Um, also really how Garrett and I built everything was his way. His was Wake Up Warrior, mine was Naturally Beautiful Rose and Isla Hair.. So if you want more information about my— what I do, people listen to podcasts like, we don't know what you guys do. And I was like, I should probably tell you. So go, go to Natural Beauty Rose Education to find out more about that. Or if you love my hair, I created Isla Hair. So you go to islahair.com to find more information about my hair. I always say I am a hair snob. I love amazing hair products, quality, all the things. So go research that. My other plug, you can just go to daniellekwhite.com where you can see fashion, family, fitness, hair, any podcasts, all of that. So if you want to check out all information about me, your best bet is to follow me on Instagram and go to daniellekwhite.com.

There you go. There's about 7 links for you to remember. We'll put those all below the show. Have a great rest of your week. This is Garrett J White and Danielle, signing off for another episode of the Date Your Whet podcast.