How AI Can Help to Communicate with Our Partners

I've heard that a lot of marriages struggle at specific points. And when you look at those specific points, for example, the seven year itch, when you look at the specific points, typically it's correlated with where the person's kids are in age range. And I know how difficult it is when you go from not having kids to having a child and then, or having multiple kids and this person that used to be your ride or die teammate, you're both exhausted and I just want sleep. And so it can be difficult to, to communicate, especially if you're both busy, especially if you both have a lot going on and now you're adding in an entirely new human's needs and wants and desires into the mix as well. And it can be a lot. And so ChatGPT can actually help us with communicating with our partners. And that's what we're gonna be talking about today. So the first thing I wanna encourage you to do is think about what is the outcome that you want. So if your main outcome, if you are subconsciously or consciously your main desire is to be right or to do things your particular way and only your way, then you're going to have some difficulties. If your outcome is to have a partner long term that you can be with, you can rely on that they can rely on you, then using ChatGPT is going to be really helpful for you. So the first thing that we're going to do is define what it is that you want. So let's say you got an argument about the dishes. And this isn't the first time you've gotten an argument about the dishes. Let's say every week for the last eight weeks, there's at least one argument about who's doing the dishes that night. Sounds pretty silly, but let's just say that's what it is. The first thing you're gonna do is tell chatgpt all the details. So you're gonna say what happened? So let's say you came home from work, your partner came home from work, you both were really tired, and it's your partner's turn to do the dishes. But they say, hey, can you do them today? I'm really tired. And maybe that was okay the first time, but the second, third, fourth time it happened, maybe you started to feel a little bit resentful. I'm tired too, because I worked really hard as well. Or vice versa. Maybe it was the other way around. You're the one saying, hey, I'm really tired, can you take care of this time? And so what we're going to do is put in that information. I want you to also put in how you're feeling. Anything that felt triggering for you, anything that felt like it got that fire going in your belly where you're like, are you kidding me? Those kind of things. I want you to put all of that in there. And I also want you to put, if you can remember how they reacted, how you reacted now, as best as you can, you want to be objective, and that's really hard thing to do, especially if you feel, if you're. If that resentment is kind of stuff, it can be really hard to be objective. But I want you to do your best, try to be objective. And I want you to think about the situation as if you were a bystander just watching a camera as it kind of folded. You couldn't hear tone, you couldn't hear any of that. You just saw what was happening. So based on just what was happening, without the extra messaging that we're telling ourselves, I want you to write down as much as you can what it is that actually happened. Once you're done with that, I want you to say to ChatGPT, here's what happened. And then you're gonna say, but here's how I felt about what happened. So that's when you really go into how you're feeling and then any of the other pieces. So whereas in the objective, in the while we're looking at objectively, we might not say they snapped at me, they had this tone of voice. When we're done with the objective heart, we're going to go more into the subjective of I felt this way because I felt like they were snapping at me or I felt like they were being unfair, or I felt like they were giving me a tone of voice or whatever it is that you were feeling. And then the next thing you're going to say is, I want you to act like a, like a therapist, like a counselor. Now these what am I saying Disclaimer. I think that, I don't think that ChatGPT is a substitute for therapy, for marriage counseling, for counseling, for any of that kind of stuff, both individual and Lee as a couple. And I do think it can help in the meantime. So I want you to act like a counselor or a therapist and help me work through how I'm feeling and what we can start to do differently so that both of our needs are being met. And so you're going to ask it to do that. Now, the other thing we're going to talk about here, not just the this particular situation, but we're going to also talk about communicating in general. And so you can say, my spouse and I are communicating, but now we have a child or 3 children or 17 children or however many, and there's a lot less time for us to spend together. There's a lot less time for us to work on communication skills and stuff like that. I want you to help me. I'm going to have you dissect this conversation that we had. I want you to help me identify what I can do differently in our next conversation. Now, I'm not saying that your partner shouldn't do something differently also. I'm just saying that the only person that we can change is ourselves. And so if you can improve your own communication skills, it might not improve theirs, but at the very least, it's improving yours. And that improves your quality of life as well. And what I found sometimes when talking to friends and stuff like that is that sometimes if one person starts to improve their communication, it clarifies the whole conversation. Even if it's only one person doing it, it still clarifies the conversation to the point that it's easier for both parties to understand the other person's perspective in this lot. Often a lot more calm and concise of a conversation instead of an emotionally charged one. So it might be those are the things you're going to do to improve your communication with your partner using ChatGPT. Again, you're just putting in the information. Here's what happened objectively as possible, and then here's how I felt about it, or here's the things that are coming up for me and I want your help. You're trying to figure out how we can communicate better, figure out how we can get on the same page without being resentful. And then that's pretty much it. Press Enter and then go back and forth with it. My name is Brittany Long. I'm of course the creator of this podcast, also the Doable with AI podcast, and I am the creator of AI to 100K. I will talk to you soon.