Shidduchim Crisis - Dating And Marriage

19 Apr 2021 · 116 min
1:55:33

In this rambling, impassioned talk, the speaker (Mike Kushevsky) reflects on the modern shidduchim crisis, tracing its roots to the aftermath of 9/11, the resulting diaspora of Israeli Jews to the United States, and the consequent shift from Hebrew‑only matchmaking to English‑dominant counseling. He shares personal anecdotes from his 25‑year career giving shidduchim lectures, describing encounters with various sub‑communities – the “Bokrians” (secular or poorly educated Jews), the “Georgians,” “Gruzinians,” and other immigrant groups – and how their lack of Torah knowledge creates both challenges and opportunities for matchmakers. The talk moves into the financial dimension of marriage: dowry expectations, the cost of education, and the pressure on families to provide large sums for their children’s weddings, often leading to unrealistic expectations and burnout. Throughout, the speaker stresses the need for honesty, religious authenticity, and a focus on spiritual values over material competition. He concludes with a call to return to sincere Torah study, daily prayer, and truthful shidduchim practices, warning that neglecting these principles deepens the crisis.

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