Could the Winter play a part in unfulfilled New Years resolutions? Ep 16

That.

Close the door. Are we good? Conscious intercourse.

Hey, hey, hey.

2023 edition.

Oh, it is 2023. What's up, y'? All? Happy, happy New Year to you.

New calendar year, actually.

Right, okay. New calendar year.

It's a new calendar year. The calendar flipped over to 2023.

It did, allegedly. It did. It did. And we are here, right? Brand new start, brand new goals for.

Some, you know, Resolutions. Right.

Resolutions.

Right.

You know, putting things into place and new boundaries.

Actually, actually, let's go back.

We going.

We got to do our intro.

What's our intro?

Conscious intercourse.

You are now listening to Conscious. Conscious intercourse on power 108.9.

Right. The place where we consciously share our experiences to propel spiritual evolution. Yes, that part.

Y' all missed us? It's been a while. We've been. We've been going for a while. We're back.

We've been. We've been here spiritually, right. We've been in tune. Connected, Right. Because we still have episodes online, right?

Oh, yeah, that's right. When you miss it, you can go back and check us out.

We actually, we are.

We're always here.

Infinitely here.

Infinitely here.

Okay. Always. You know, actually, we're immortal now. We're immortalized by the Internet. No, straight up. I get it.

We are.

We're immortalized. We're. We're in, you know, the web. You know, the web. The tangled web we weave.

Yes. And we have weaved, what, 15 episodes, allegedly. Yes, we did. We are on our 16th episode.

Is this what this is?

This is number 16.

Number seven. Wow. So one plus six is seven. So this going into numerology, right? This is a perfection episode. Right. Cuz 7 is the number of perfection and completion.

7 is the number of completion. It is, yes. Yes, it is.

So, yes. 20, 23.

Right. How you feeling? How was your new year? How did you bring it in?

You know, actually, I didn't even recognize it was a new year. I just, like, I was doing something. I think I was spending time with the children. You know, we were watching a game. It was like a phenomenal game.

Okay.

And we actually didn't realize it was actually past, you know, the time when that ball is dropped or something.

Well, that's good then. You were.

You were.

You were in a blissful moment. You know, we were just connecting. You were enjoying each other.

Yeah, Connecting with the fam.

That's good. That's good.

How about you?

Yeah, same, same, same. You know, kind of chilling out, enjoying the loved ones.

Most definitely.

You know.

Right.

Talking about what we plan to do in the new year.

Create in the new year, what we.

Plan to do differently in the new year.

Differently. Right. That's always the theme. Right. It's. It's new year. It's time for change. It's time for resolutions. Time to gain weight.

Lose weight.

To lose weight.

Right. And that's not always pounds.

Yeah. Right.

Sometimes you gotta let go of a lot of things that's weighing you down.

Yeah. People, you know, it's time to leave relationships. It's time to start relationships. It's time to leave jobs, start new businesses. Businesses. Right. It's always a pivotal point of some type of a change.

Exactly, exactly. And the new year always prompts that. That change.

Exactly.

You know, is. Is. Is beginning new healthy habits. You know, that's one of my. That's one of my resolutions, I would say, is to establish new healthy habits, to get rid of some old habits.

Okay.

Old way of thinking, you know, things that may have caused me to be less productive.

Indeed. You know, getting rid of the distractions. Right.

Oh, there you go. Distractions.

Focus.

Right, Absolutely. That is my biggest, you know, focus.

Like focus on one course until successful. Right.

I wish it was one. Well, one course.

Yeah. Because, I mean, you can't, you know, I'm saying focus on one course until successful. That's what I'm saying. Until successful. So you could do other things at least. It's just, you know, something that I've found very intriguing that, you know, a lot of times we as people try to do all these things simultaneously, but.

That'S what we do.

But that's how we survive, allegedly.

It's the truth. I mean, I hear so many people, especially because one as me, like myself, as an artist, people are always telling me, you need to focus on one thing. Stop trying to be all over the place. Focus on one thing, own it, and just go hard. I wish it was that easy. It's not. And I know, especially for a lot.

Of people, especially as a mother. Right.

Especially as a parent.

Single parent, at least.

Yeah.

People that are single parents. Right.

Yeah. It's hard. It's hard. Or just when you know you have many gifts that can potentially be lucrative. It's like you got to be a. You got to be a hustler. You got to be doing this, you got to be doing that. You know, one thing sometimes just don't cut it. You gotta focus in on your spirituality.

Okay.

You know, self care. Because as you're doing all these things and trying to manage all these things, Sometimes you forget about yourself. Right?

So true.

You forget about your mental. Yeah, you know, it's just your mental health.

Exactly.

And that is another thing. Self care, like taking some time out just, you know, to do me.

So apparently you're detailing your resolutions. That's what it sounds like.

Somewhat.

Yeah.

Yeah. And I. What I. What I believe is on a lot of people mind, what I think that's something that resonates with a lot of people. You know, just like I said, healthy habits.

But this happens typically every year, right? Every year the new year comes in.

New goals, new resolutions.

People are broke, right? People are spent all their money on Christmas on crips. Let me actually rephrase that. It's been all the money on cripmut. On the holidays, it's been all the money on criminal. Right now they broke. Right?

Now they broke.

So now it's like, all right, damn. Like I'm broke. Now I gotta. Let me, let me be better.

Let me, let me hustle hard.

Let me hustle hard. Let me try something different to get this, you know, right. Change in my pocket until the refund check come in.

Right, Exactly. At least make it through to the.

Refund refund check come in.

Hold on, somebody. People like, you know, all right, once I get this money, I'mma do better. But right now, up until then, I'm. I gotta, I gotta do this.

So it's like this, this thing usually dies down. It's like it gets January, you know, the first week in January. Everybody's focused, hitting the gym, eating well, getting it in. You know, they, you know, they got the vision board. They're looking at everything.

Got your vision board, you know what I'm saying? Right?

Got the vision board party, you know, the vision board that you made at the vision board party at the New Year's, right? You got your vision board. You're looking at it every day. You do your push ups, you're running, you know what I'm saying? You're. You're eating your carrots, you know, Right. Dipping your carrot and your orange juice, you know what I'm saying? You did all that good stuff, right?

It would.

People dip very. People doing all these things that they believe are the key to their, you know, their happiness to a phenomenal year. Yeah, like you said, their happiness, their success, right? Absolutely. Whatever that looks like.

Whatever that looks like. Self discipline.

But then it usually tapers off, though.

Yeah. Because we, you know, we get distracted.

Is it distracting?

Back to the distraction.

Is it the distractions or is it something bigger Than that. Like, what, are we delusional? Like, right? It's like, why does it have to be this time period?

Why can't we be consistent?

Exactly. Is it. Exactly. Is it because it's not innate, maybe.

Because, you know, it's.

What does it. What's the taper off? Yeah, go ahead.

When does it take.

Why does it taper off?

Because people may not be truly passionate about certain things, you know, or. Or. Or, you know, distractions. You know, for me, I would say it could be distractions because things come up, you know, you got. You may get a. A random call from an old friend.

Oh, wow.

Somebody that. She's like, I swear I'm gonna leave this person alone. I'm letting all that go.

Yeah.

What's up, Big Head? You're like, I said I wasn't gonna talk to him no more. Right.

They got their refund check. I got. Let's go get a section of the club, you know?

But whatever it is, you could be like, I'm not drinking no more. I'm gonna leave it alone. I'm cut back on the alcohol. People be like, hey, yo, what you doing? Let's go pop some bottles. Let's, you know, meet me over here. Like, all right, I have a drink just this time.

Like, and it's kind of like. It's kind of like Denzel in the airplane movie where he, you know, he was sober for a long time, and then he got, you know, he was in that hotel room, and he just.

Had to throw him back, and the.

Fridge, like, popped open, and he was just like. Next thing. Next thing, you know, he was going in distraction.

But how do you prevent yourself from being distracted?

Is it distraction or is it just who you are?

See, the thing is, like you said, we put things. We implement things in the beginning of the year and say, we're going to do this. We're going to be focused. We're going to be disciplined. And then it falls off because we're not doing those daily things that we need to do to keep them in check. Yes, right, exactly. Like, we say, we're gonna get up early in the morning, start our day off. We're gonna meditate because meditation is important. Exactly. Sit and meditate in peace. Try to visualize what your day is going to be like. Right? Put out those positive affirmations to yourself. We do all this stuff in the beginning, Right. And then we just go back to routine.

Does it become too hard?

I don't think it's. We just. It's about discipline. Again, like we just get. So it's habit, right? Because it's like creating.

Because it says, takes 30 days to create a.

Create a habit.

So you got to consistently do this for 30.

For 30 days. But do you really like. Do people really get. Let they self truly form a healthy habit or habit.

But why is that a difficult thing, though? Why is forming a habit so difficult?

It's only difficult when you're thinking about it. It's not difficult when you're not thinking about it.

It's interesting. It's like fasting, right? Yeah, I'm usually like, you know, the soul.

If you're working, if you're busy, you know, you don't eat, you're not thinking about.

No, no. When I'm. When I don't plan it, I just.

You just.

It happens naturally, right. Without me actually telling myself that I'm fasting. Because if I tell myself I'm fasting, then I'd be hungry as a mug.

Right.

For me, you know, every little piece.

Exactly. Like, if you tell yourself I'm not drinking. Yeah, I don't want no alcohol.

Yeah.

And it's like the more I tell myself that, it's like, damn.

Can you think of a time where you actually. Could you think of a time where you actually kept up a commitment or something that you felt like you wanted to do and it lasted, let's say, longer than 30 days, turn into months, turn into years. Can you think of something that. And what was different when you actually did that thing?

Something that I kept up consistently for more than 30 days? Yes, I can say I have, but I wouldn't necessarily say it was the best thing.

Oh, could we get more details, please? Now wasn't the best thing. I'm like, okay, now this is getting interesting. This is getting interesting now.

This is the thing. And I say that because due to whatever circumstances we are in, in the moment, we tell ourselves things. Okay, Right. That this is like coping. This is what I need right now, okay. So I have to continue to do this thing so I can cope. But sometimes coping is not good. It's like drinking, right? Like some people drink so they won't feel, so they won't have to think about stuff.

Okay?

So it's like, you know, every time, every night before I go to bed, I'll have a glass of wine, you know, so I can relax and settle down. But it's like you find yourself doing that. Like I just created a bad habit. Now I have to have a drink before I go to bed. That's what I mean by that. I'm just using that as an example.

So that's what you was doing. You was.

No, no, that's not. No, I was just going to bed every night. I was using that as an example.

But we wanted you to give us your example. Come on, people want to hear real truth. Listen, I'm saying unfiltered, unadulterated truth. Impeccable empirical data. Right? Give the people the truth. Listen, real, real stuff.

Real stuff. This is what I said. Habits create. Establish good habits. Know whether or not they actually work for, you know, whether. Realize whether or not you're doing them to cope. And if that coping is healthy. Okay, that's just what I'm saying. Like, think about that. What, what, you know, what outcome is coming from you doing that? Is it, is it, is it positive? Is it leading you in a better place, better direction? You know, or are you just simply coping so you don't feel right? Some people, I've heard some people say, I'm going to start therapy this year.

Yes.

You know, I'm going to consult with someone who can just help me process these things that I'm dealing with.

Exactly right.

Is that something that you should do consistently? You know, that's something that you need to do consistently instantly?

Exactly right. Yeah.

Do you need to tap in or. Or consult with somebody every once in a while just to make sure you're mentally, you know, good?

You need like a cheerleader or a coach. Right? Somebody just keep you, you know.

You know, just to let you know when you.

You slipping a little bit or motivate you, inspire you.

Right, Right.

Yeah. Like an accountability.

You don't have to necessarily.

An accountability. An accountability partner. Right. Somebody, you know, somebody hold you accountable.

Right, Exactly. Some people need that.

That's why some people get personal trainers, right. To, to start for your.

For your workout regimen. They keep you on track. Some people get therapists. Sometime it could be your partner, your significant other, whatever it is, but somebody. Exactly. Somebody to help you, you know, stay on task.

Yeah, that's. That's very interesting. Right? It's, you know, it's, it's. It's confounding sometimes, right, that it takes. Even though we know certain things are good for us, right. We don't have like the willpower. That's the thing. That's the word. The willpower to sustain. Yeah. To. To propel us, to continuously pushing us forward. It's like that willpower kind of dies down.

It's like, are you in his faith as well, like, exactly. Sometimes we don't. Go ahead. You, like, you have to believe it first in yourself.

Exactly.

You have to believe that there's light at the end of the time.

Is it? To me, it's like the word I'm thinking is conviction, right. You have to be convicted to certain things about certain things, right? Because I can remember when that, when I even, you know, got on this vegan jersey or the plant based journey, right. For me, it was something. No, things kept happening, right? Things kept happening to push me in that direction, to convince me like this was the right way for me, right. To pursue my life, at least for this time period, right. So when I had that bad experience with that salmon at this, you know, restaurant, I'm not gonna blast them. But I was just like, I'm done. Like, this was nasty. You know, it made my stomach hurt. I just, I was done. It was just done. I'm like, I didn't even crave. I just didn't crave it anymore. So it wasn't a resolution. It wasn't a thing. Oh, today I'm going to stop eating meat, right? I was progressively just changing my diet, improving my, you know, how I ate. And certain things just didn't make sense to me, right? When I had that, that experience was just, just did it for me. It was like I was done. But it wasn't something I said, oh, you know, today I'm no longer eating meat. It's just something that I was on a path of doing. And, you know, evidence after evidence led me to this point of ultimate conviction.

And so, you know, your stomach turning, you being sick, you, you know, yeah, whatever it is.

But no, but even, but think, think about that. Even with alcohol, how many times have we been drunk, throwing up, hugging a toilet bowl, right? You know, you know, Jose, Jose, Quavo's over there beating you upside the head, right? Jose, just relentless. He's shaking you upside down in that toilet bowl, right?

How many times? Never drink it again.

You know, and literally the next day you add it again because. Because of your boy.

They say it's the hair of the dog.

Not only that, the worst advice. No, the worst advice is you need to just drink a little bit more because your body's craving it. So just, you need just another drink, another shot. It's gonna make you feel better, right? So literally within is that what that. It is the hair of the dog.

That's what they call that. That's the hair of the dog. Like a beer, like that must be.

A Philly Is that she Philly or Chicago thing?

Anyway, y' all know what I'm talking about.

People heard the hair of the dog.

Yeah. Like you, You. You. You hung over. And some, like, just drink a beer. Like, it's usually like a beer. Drink a beer. You'll be okay. I don't know. That's maybe it's just. No, I'm sure people heard of that, but. Yes, exactly right. Like, sticking to your guns. Like. No, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to.

You know, it takes a conviction. Like, a lot of times, you know, anytime people. When people are at a. Out of life and death, you know, circumstance that typically is something that convicts most people. You know, some people maybe not, but I know a lot of people when people face some. Some extreme hardship.

Yeah.

Like, like facing death or prison or something like that.

Or like, about to get fired from your job.

Like.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. All right. I'm gonna be on time.

Or your spouse is leaving. Your spouse is leaving. I'm gonna do it. Right, right?

I'm. I'm gonna be better. I'm gonna do right.

Like. Like R. Kelly said, though, when she's fed up, ain't nothing you could do.

Ain't nothing you could do about it. Okay.

Oh, no, yo, let me do that again. No, I get it. I get it.

Don't do it again. Don't do it again. We got. We get your point. Yeah, yeah, that was. Oh, that was. That comedy show. Show was awesome. Shout out to. What was that tour? Ah. Secret G. Entertainer Mike Epps. Hurricane. Y', all, did y' all think. Y' all. Did y' all think in Atlanta.

Okay. A few days back, whatever tour that was of Comedians in Atlanta, I named the Comedians.

But y', all, did y' all think that was hilarious?

You know, D.L. hughley.

D.L. hughley.

Right.

They all did it. It was a great show.

Yeah, it was a great show. But on that note.

Yeah.

We're going to take a break.

Yeah. Come back.

We're going to transition into another segment of Conscious Intercourse right after this message from our sponsors.

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We consciously share experiences to propel our spiritual evolution.

Yes. That's what our conscious intercourse is, right? To penetrate the mind. Penetrate the mind to penetrate conscious thinking, you know, to. To. To. To penet. Penetrate the.

That word.

Cerebral corte.

Cortex. Cerebral cortex.

To make a difference. But yes, that's what, you know. Well, we have to understand as conscious beings and with all these talks that we have and we don't come on, we, let's, let me say this. We don't come on here thinking we know everything. We don't come on here trying to tell nobody what to do. We simply come on here to race. Yeah, yeah, you do. You do sometimes. But it's raising the awareness. Yeah, it's just raising the awareness of where we are as a people to get people to start thinking, to start thinking about, you know, trauma and what it's done. Right, right. But that, that causes the domino effect to so many other things. And it's like we don't tap into that and focus on the trauma and, and it just throws everything else off. Like go like stop trying to do all this and go back to the source.

So is that why people can't keep up the New Year's resolution? They're traumatized and they, you know, and.

They traumatized because it's like learned behavior. Cuz it's a coping thing that you used to doing.

That's an interesting point.

It's a great point.

Interesting point. Because if you're going to say trauma is the reason why people can't keep their resolutions. Right. Because. No, I'm just. No, no, I'm not saying that's what you said. I'm just formulating my own concepts around it.

Right, okay.

We're traumatized by sometimes self inflicting things. Yes. But I'm going back to, you know, as a child. Right? You're a child and you see something on the counter, right. And you want to climb and get it. Right. And bow upside the head.

Yeah.

Right. So you're gonna fall, you can't climb. Right, Right. You know, that happens. And then next thing it's something else. Right. You're, you know, you're, you see the.

Stove, you want to grab something off the stove, you get burnt.

Exactly. Right, Right. But you're being ultimately, I, I don't want to use the word condition, but that's what it is, right. You're being told what you can and can't do. Your limitations are being placed upon you. Right. By just you trying to. Just being a curious child, just being right. You come into this world and everything is new. You want to learn, you want to experience things. Right. But you mean to stop, don't do this, don't do that. Right. Money doesn't grow on trees. You know, you're being continuously just reprimanded for being yourself. Right. Next thing you know, you begin to like adapt Necessarily that. But to become a little bit more subdued. Subdued, yeah, that's the word, subdued. Right.

So where you're not.

Where you become a little fearful to try things to explore. Right. It's like your exploration, that curiosity has been like, stifled, suppressed. Those are great words. Right. We need some dictionaries up in here. Encyclopedias, your grandmama encyclopedias. Right. You're being. It's being suppressed.

Yeah.

And. And you grow up. Right. And that's.

This happens.

It happens at home when, you know, reeled as a child. Then it happens at school.

Exactly.

Then it happens in a workforce. Next thing you know, you're afraid to take any type of risks in your life. Right. You just become this, you know, this person that just had. Really has no ambitions.

You know, Wait for somebody to tell you what your ambitions are, what you should be doing or not doing.

Exactly right.

That's. That's exactly right.

And then when it comes to these resolutions, you're just like. You don't even believe in yourself that you actually could do these things. Right. Because you're like, it's too hard. Or, you know, it's. It's unattainable. Right. All these things. Because that life force, that's really what I want to utilize. The life force that you inherently came into this world with has been suppressed. Stifled, has been put, you know, put into a jar, you know, in a box. You've been boxed in. Is that trauma?

That is definitely trauma. That is trauma.

Is that true?

And that's what I'm saying. A lot of our learned behavior comes from our. How we were raised, from our parents who didn't know.

So being your curiosity, being suppressed as a child is traumatic. That's really what. That's.

But how easy is it to just break out of that? How easy is it to. For all your life.

Yes.

You've been living this way and been conditioned to just say, you know what? I've been doing this wrong. I have to just stop it. How can you can it stop in 30 days? By creating new habits and new ways of thinking?

I don't believe so. Right. You know, I read something or saw something recently where it says that by the time we're 35, everything that we do is.