Hitting Rock Bottom before Success with Stephane Suave... Ep 23

Foreign.

What's up? What's up, y'?

All?

Welcome back. Welcome back. You are tuned into power 108.9. I am Ebony Emma Pill, here with Armand Kadima.

Yo, yo, yo. Don't be giving up my government name. What you doing, man?

Of course.

No, we're switching it up today.

Here we go.

My name ain't in that. What you.

Who are you today, then?

Soul Malachite.

Okay? That's who he is today.

Soul Malachite in the building.

All right. Anyway, what's up, y'?

All?

What's up, y'?

All?

Happy hump day.

Hump day. People still say that.

Yeah.

Where you from, man? You're, like, from another planet. Like, you're from, like, a different dimension.

Like, you really are.

You, like, where are you?

What you mean, hump day? Like, people still say that. Hump day.

People still say that.

Watch out.

Happy hump day, 2023. You wilding.

I can't. I cannot.

Hump day. Yeah, that sound like some. Something in a movie or something.

You w. It. You tripping.

I'm just saying. You tripping, you know.

What's up? What's up? So, Malachite, how you feeling?

I'm living. Living a dream.

You living a dream.

I mean, this is it, man. What else can you ask for? You know, the present moment. This. This opportunity to connect with the world.

Yes. Always an amazing opportunity, you know, to.

Be, you know, tap in. Yeah, to be, you know. Exactly. To transplant in history, you know, to be immortal. Immortalized through the web, you know what I'm saying? Because when we. Because as we're doing this, it's live.

It'S in the air, it's forever, you.

Know, People in, you know, in 2560 gonna be like, man, yo, saw that. Conscious intercourse was so malachite on there. That dude was so dope. I'm saying you.

All your personalities.

I'm just saying. Yo. Conscious intercourse.

Conscious. Conscious intercourse.

We intertwine, you know, on a galactic level as we evolve spiritually, you know? You know, and we, you know, have intercourse frequently, you know, an exchange of information. Happy intercourse day.

An exchange of information.

Yes.

You know, penetrating the cerebral cortex.

Wow. Conscious intercourse consciously penetrating the cerebral cortex. You might have came up with something just now, you know what I'm saying? Yo, man, we got a phenomenal guest in the house, in the building, you know? You know? Yes. Phenomenal guest, the one and only. Like, I don't even know how to introduce this brother, man. This brother's so multi talented. So, so multifaceted.

You know, fabulous, you know? Oh, yeah, you know, Such a fabulous himself.

Such a polmerizing personality, you know what I'm saying? Got Steph Suave in the building.

Appreciate it. Appreciate it.

Steph Swift Suave.

That was amazing.

Is that his personality today?

I'm just saying, right? Steph sw. Man.

Steph Swave in the building.

That's amazing, man. Appreciate you guys, man.

What's good with you, bro?

Welcome, welcome.

Nice. That's a good intro. I love that.

You love that.

I love that. That was dope. That was dope.

When we do our best, man.

You like that?

Yes. How you feeling? How you feeling?

Feeling good. Feeling blessed. Good to be alive, you know what I'm saying? You know, I appreciate it of just waking up this morning, to be honest. It's been tough, you know, it's been tough, but it's good to wake up in the morning.

Absolutely. You look refreshed, you know, you look rested and refreshed.

Try, try. I was a little tired, but, you know, we hanging in there.

Oh, really? You tired?

Why you tired, man? Where you been at, man? What you got going on? They got you so tired, man.

You know, man, just traveling. Traveling.

Where you been? Where you going?

I've been around the world, you know, and I'm getting started. I just got done with my first part of the. Okay. I'm currently on tour right now. Or some of my clients, Stefan speaks and Dr. Bobby Price.

Okay.

We just knocked out Canada, Montreal and Toronto.

Okay.

Okay. And then we still have July, you know, the uk okay. We got Manchester, Birmingham and London.

Okay.

In October, we have Africa.

Doing Nigeria, the motherland.

Okay. And then November, we got the States, a couple cities. New York, L.A. atlanta, Chicago, D.C. and all that.

Okay. Stefan Speaks. So, you know, he's. He's the big relationship guru, right?

So they say.

Right.

I need some advice, man. Tell them to hook me up, man.

We all need advice. We all need healing. We all need help.

Still trying to still figure this thing out, man. Actually, you know, I've given up on figuring it out. It just is what it is, you.

Know, that's the problem. Everybody's trying to figure it out.

Yeah.

You know, live, you know, live and do your best.

Yeah.

With integrity, you know, because it's not a one way, you know, one size fits all kind of thing. So what works for this couple ain't gonna work for the next couple.

I agree with that, you know, so.

You'Re giving all this advice and it's like this. This ain't it. But you Know, whatever works, right?

Works. Yeah.

Because you know, you'll find and you find people who resonate with what you're saying, you know, so. But we all need help in that. In that, you know, Definitely.

I agree.

Relationships is a lost art.

Yeah, yeah. It's tough out here. You know, I'm single myself. I'm trying to figure it out myself, you know, it ain't easy in the streets out here.

It's not easy at all.

You know, I'm getting older, I want a family, but it ain't easy.

You want a family?

I actually do. See, you know, people say I don't know what it is. Do I look like I don't want a family?

You look like you having fun.

No. You look like. No, I've had my fun.

You had your fun. You want a family, now I want a family. What does that look like for you, exactly? When you say that, what does that look like for you?

Family to me is just finding someone who I could call a partner. Partner can mean so many different things to different people. But to me, a partner just means someone that we are partnership in life. People have partnership in business, but this is life. So we roll together in life.

There you go.

The way I think that we operate, the way we eat, the way we live, the way we raise our kids is a partnership.

I like that.

So I want something like that. Also want kids too. You know, I've had a lot of siblings. I want a big family, you know, So I. It's time is. But here's the thing though. I'm. I'm growing backwards. So I feel like I'm getting younger, I'm getting better looking, I'm getting smarter. So I definitely want someone, of course, who's in the right position. It's hard to find that person nowadays.

Really.

Yeah. I think I've dated a lot. I think I could definitely speak for majority of Atlanta. It's hard, really, because everybody has something missing, another thing. And you try to find the two thing at the same time is very tough.

Wow.

Like, I'm ready to get married now, but I ain't got no time.

Wow.

So that's the thing. It's like I get married tomorrow, but. But after the wedding, I gotta keep it moving.

Well, but she can roll with you though, right? She could be, you know, that's the part.

She finally work her own stuff.

No, but that's what I'm saying. She's got to give up that and be part of, you know, be part of you. So it's almost like you got to find someone within your work, your line of work.

See, that goes back to that.

So there's nobody, you know, within on the entourage or crew that you come.

Let's speak about it. So let's go. That goes back to pretty much talking about what I find attractive in a woman. Okay.

So what do you find attractive in a woman?

Okay. My. My non physical attraction is women's and ambitious. Like you have to be ambitious. Right. And you know, when I say it, I'm not thinking about more a financial standpoint. Like if you like burgers and you want to flip burgers, go flip some burgers at McDonald's. That's not my problem.

Okay.

You love books. Go to the library and read books all day and work there. I don't have a problem with that. But you have to be going after something.

Okay.

And I think that's one of the things that I've lacked dating women. They don't have anything. They're going for themselves. They either gonna follow my footsteps or follow maybe their parents footsteps or following the matrix footsteps, rather than trying to find if it's eyelashes, hair, makeup, selling products, just do something that you enjoy doing.

Okay.

And I get turned on by that because that's how I am. I'm built that way.

Okay.

Okay.

And so that's one of my non physical attraction and what, you know, what I love in a woman. But there's a few things there and there.

Okay.

You know, okay, Interesting. I gotta find a way that's attractive. Of course. Yeah. You have that sense of fashion. You have to be, well, you know, be with you.

Right.

You gotta match my swag. You gotta match my swag. All right. That's what's up. A woman, just patient. A woman of God. Of course, you gotta, you have to believe in some higher power. Okay, so spiritual, spiritually grounded, definitely. Spiritual grounded.

Okay.

Family oriented, for sure.

Okay.

Gotta have. Before I say confident, I think doing someone like myself, you have to be confident.

Yeah.

I mean, it's gonna be very hard. It's gonna be hard. But I think if you know your self worth and you know who you are, I don't think it'll be an issue. I've dated, I've had five year relationships a while.

Relationships.

Yeah.

Multitude of them. They've been five years long.

Yes.

But you don't even look like you're old enough to have five year long relationships. I'm just like, yo, there's something.

I saw you.

I didn't see that you're just embracing it. Now you ain't covering it.

Definitely. Embrace it.

Is that what it is?

Yes.

I got a little bit here.

Embrace it.

I'm about 35, man.

35.

What?

It's like. It's like the perfect age to be. To be honest.

It's a great age.

Lived half of my life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I could see that.

Expected life, cuz, you know, Got to. Yeah, yeah.

So 35, man.

Three. Five.

That's a good year.

Yeah, that's a. Yeah, that's a great age.

Yeah.

It's kind of like. It's like the middle ground. Like you still can connect to the younger people and you can kind of connect to the wiser people.

That's exactly how I feel.

There you go. You kind of over a lot of the bs, the young bs, and you ready to grow up and.

And I can play both roles. You know, you introduced me as Steph Suave. Steph Suave is actually my alter ego.

Okay. Now let's. Let's get into that. Alter ego. Let's get into that. Let's. Let's clarify who this person is that's in front of us. Right.

So what I've decided to do is that I had so many different personalities.

Okay.

But there was two. That was like the main ones, it was the Fondova, which is the businessman, the family man, the man. Just the man of the man. Then we have Steph Swath, which is the part party animal, the adventurer, the spontaneous guy that likes to have fun, loves people.

Okay.

Loves to party. And they call it, I guess, ladies man, if you want to say. Or people. I like. I prefer the people's person.

Okay. People's person.

So those are just two different names, Two different. Completely different dialogue, different conversations, different swag. Correct. This is suits. This is swag. This is lounges. This is conferences.

Yeah.

It's like completely, completely different people.

Okay. All right.

And I. I didn't actually create it. It just happens to be that way.

Okay.

Yeah, it just happened to be that way.

So are you kind of over the Suave?

I think that's in me.

Okay.

I think that's in me. I think it's something that it just came about and I don't think I could let it go.

Okay.

I think it's a balance. I think in life in general, everything should be a balance.

Absolutely.

I think everybody has, you know, I think any. I think everybody, even in the corporate world, they all go in the office and suits, and then five o', clock, they take that tie off and get a beer down the street and they start cursing each other out.

Right.

You know, they don't have a name to represent that. I actually have one.

Okay.

And that's just the only difference. I think we all have that.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

I think that's what it is. Even in. In. In just. In just in general relationships, you know.

Yeah.

There's a time where we all look very classy and. And stuff like that, and then when we go back home, we two different people.

Yeah. No, I'm with. You know, that's why I'm so malachite, you know, today, you know, there you go. We'll talk. We'll get into that later.

I'll break it down, you know, I like that. I like that, I like that.

So malachite is.

I like that.

But no, that's. That's phenomenal, man. What would you say, you know, has been, like, the defining factor into your life that has allowed you to get, you know, achieve the success that you've achieved, to get the clarity of who you are and the confidence to, you know, to be self aware about, like, you said, stuff. Suave is who you are. That's your being. Like you said, it's. It's not about getting over it.

It's just.

It's just part of your personality. What. What are things that contributed to you having that confidence and, you know, to be the man that you are and to be able to move according to what you believe.

Good question. Good question. Yeah, it would have to go back, back, back into, like, literally after high school.

Okay.

I think a lot of men grow and become something after a trauma. You have to face something blackmail, cheated on, being broke. Whatever it is, you have to go through something. And I went through a really bad breakup, really bad breakup that just made me feel so insecure. And that breakup led it to being broke. And I was at the lowest point in my life, and I said, man, what the hell is going on? Then I realized that it's part of the process, so I had to be. I had to go all the way down to the bottom, like, literally being reborn again, just without a mother. Then I'm like, okay, being broke is normal. I thought it was like a curse. It's part of the process.

Part of the process.

Being cheated on as part of the process, having bad friends, part of the process. Once I was able to, like, really take that in, I'm like, you know what? I have to find my own. Because I hear all these stories with these millionaires on YouTube and on Instagram about their Stories. I'm like, what y' all talking about? So y' all all be broke, yo, all y' all were homeless when it happened to me. I said, oh, so this is the. The road that we have to go through to go to the other side.

Exactly.

And then that's when I realized I'm like, you know what? I gotta find something within myself that does not require money. So, like, what is my best asset? What's my most valuable thing without having a dollar? And that's when I was broke. That's when I realized that I don't need to have money to look like I have money. So I used what we called back then, trying to look rich, but it was a curse and a gift to me. So I decided to say, okay, you know what? I don't look broke. I still own a suit. So what do I do here? Nobody knows I'm broke besides myself. So I decided to look like I did have money. And I was able to be. Go have conversations with certain people and get through certain doors to get money.

Okay.

And that's when I realized. That's when I realized, see that we see. I love that you stop. I love that you said that, because it's actually not true.

Okay.

I never faked. Nobody asked me how much money I had. Nobody asked me what I type of car I drive. Nobody asked me where I stayed. I used my physical assets, so I knew that I was a well known speaker. I knew that I had a great sense of humor. And so I used my smile, my charm would get me through the doors. So I used everything that did not require money. So when I would get there, I didn't park no car anywhere. I didn't have no car.

Okay?

My suit, they don't know what. How long I had that suit for.

Right?

So I had to just use like what was inside rather than finance.

Okay.

And so that's really what it was. But like I said, this happened a long time ago. And back then, that was a term. Fake till you make it.

Yes.

But I just. We identify what that meant to me.

Okay.

So that's really what happened, man. Okay. And it just. That's how I began my journey. Okay.

So it's almost like you. Not almost, but you essentially tapped into your God given.

Yes.

Attributes. Right? You know, you're handsome, good looking man. You know, you're confident, you know, you speak well. Like you mentioned, you got swag. You know, so you just was like, yo, I'm gonna put on, you know, this nice suit, go out and literally all that I desire, you know, will come my way.

Because I think a lot of people don't get it. You know, we all beautiful people. We all are. But do you believe it? That's the part I think a lot of people don't get. You know, it's so hard because you might see a very beautiful, attractive woman or a man that think he fine or whatever, but do you really think he knows that he is the same thing with a woman? We all go through that phase of insecurities to actually be like, am I actually good looking now? This might be a little crazy to most people watching this, but I didn't think I was right. If some of y' all is crazy.

Out there, somebody think it's crazy.

It's crazy. If you actually look at a lot of different people, like Chris Brown and Beyonce, they felt the same way. So this is actually a common thing now. Oh, you know, if I was you, if I had your hair, your. Your skin, your beard. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is. God put this for me, and I didn't know what I had at the moment. And we. And people go through this right now. Yeah, y' all might be going through that too. We never know. It's certain things. But I had. I had to realize, I'm like, you know what? I look good. I have characters about myself that most people don't have. I have talents that most people don't have. And that. That's really put like a invisible wall that I could go through myself and come back in.

Exactly.

Which is how I started meeting my clients. That's how the journey really began. I was not afraid anymore to. To speak to certain people because I had money, because they don't know how much I had. Correct. Yeah. This is what I'm saying. When you. When you log into your bank account, that password, not even your mama got it.

That's right.

Nobody.

Only I know straight up. So that's how I was like, you know what? You don't know if I got money or not. So if I could talk to him, we can have a conversation.

That's right.

Yeah. So that's really how it led to, like, me having this confidence to talk to any girl I want to talk to anybody I feel like I needed to talk to. And that's how the doors of my success started opening up.

No, that's wonderful. I love how you talked about how you had to hit rock bottom.

Yeah.

To tap into recognizing that you were so, like, you possess so much potential within yourself.

Right.

But it's like. But that realization didn't come until you were rock bottom where you had nothing to hold on to, you had nothing to grasp. But it's like that God within you or what, whatever it was, that thing within you, right? Because a lot of times, you know, we have, you know, when we were little, we used to watch cartoons. Maybe the little red guy and the little blue guy on the shoulder, right? So you know, the red guy is like, oh man, you a nobody. You have nothing. You know what I'm saying? You're broke, you know, you, you know, you don't look good, you know all these things, right? But then little blue guy, you know, he's like, yo, you're handsome, you, you're confident, you have the suit. So you kind of chose to listen to that, the blue guy, right? And from there you're able to create yourself out of nothing.

Yeah. But you know, you know how hard it is because, and I think, I'm sure a lot of people go through this, People look at you as if you're not supposed to be broke. I didn't know broke was a complexion, a race or a height, a weight. You broke, you broke, broke. It's green, it's money. You ain't got it, you ain't got it. But the pressure I had because, oh, he looks good or he dresses nice, that don't change nothing. Correct. You know, like I remember being broke, right? Like I'll tell you something that nobody really knows. I had to survive. And I actually, this is where I tapped into my creativity, right?

Yeah.

So I had a, like a really bust down car, you know, it was a car cash that I got, it was actually given to me for my friends. So I would park my car at Walmart's 24 hour Walmarts because I wanted to be in a safe environment.

Yeah.

I had enough money to get a membership, so every morning I would go to LA Fitness to take a shower and I had my clothes in the trunk so I would change. I would do that very early in the morning, around like five in the morning. As soon as the gym opened up, was I.