Trauma and its impact on your overall life pt 2... Ep 7

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Hey, hey.

And we're back.

Conscious Intercourse.

Yes.

Welcome, welcome, everyone.

At it again. We're at it again. We are intertwining once more and evolving and uplifting.

Absolutely. Good to be back, everybody, you know, to engage in another Conscious intercourse. As you know, our last show, we touched on mental health and trauma and we felt like we.

It was such that word.

We needed to continue it. We needed to, you know, take some more time out to. To really dive in the topic because it's so. It's so essential. It's so important.

Yeah, that word trauma, just.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's like in Lion King, right when. When. And we were talking about Mufasa's name. Those. Like, when I hear Mufasa's name, I just shiver and quiver. Yeah, that's how I feel when I hear trauma.

When you hear the word trauma, oh, my God.

I just quiver.

It's like that trigger word.

Right.

Cuz we, we all deal with some, some aspect of it.

Trauma is rampant, right?

Yes.

You know, you hear stories. I know my children recently were told me about some crazy. Some lady was murdered at a subway because she put too much mayonnaise on the sub. Oh no. I'm like, are you kidding me? He was evidently traumatized. There was something going on there. This person had to be traumatized. And that was the trigger thing. Mayonnaise. Exactly.

Wow.

So anyways, I'm just some.

Yeah, that's, that's interesting. But we like, we promised, we said we would, we would get someone on the show who could really give us more insight, professional insight on the topic. And we have an amazing guest today. We have mental health consultant and coach Stephanie Johnson.

Hey.

Hi.

Hey. This is nice. This is so fun.

Raise the rules.

Thank you so much for joining us today and joining the conscious intercourse.

Thank you very much. We really appreciate you being here.

Absolutely. And yes, as we said, we, we wanted you to give us some insight on trauma and how it affects the brain, how, how it affects the body, body relationships and things of that nature. So please, if you will, you know, let us know.

Let's talk about it.

Let's talk about it.

So first again, thank you very much for having me here and discuss this very sensitive and in depth and as I said to you all earlier, broad topic.

Yes.

You know, because I think one of the things that, that we tend to do with trauma is speak from our perspective kind of individually or from the group at which we kind of relate to the most. And sometimes trauma, you know, is such a buzzword right now every, everything is trauma, trauma informed. And when we really get down to the meat of it, what we're really talking about is, you know, this word trauma is rooted in kind of this place of evolutionary psychology where a bunch of researchers over time have found out that the way in which the brain and the body responds to anything that could pretty much kind of shake up our survival mode and anything that can threaten our survival and our thriving means that it. Our bodies and our brains respond accordingly. And a lot of that happens though with kind of a disconnect to the mind and our psyche at the same time. It's why so many people who experience trauma have triggers. It's because the way in which the body responds, the mind may not have a chance to catch up and the mind might shut down. The mind might stop perceiving consciously what is happening and stay still in this kind of unconscious place while the body survives or tries to survive. And go into survival mode. Meaning I'm sure you all might be familiar with the fight or flight response. And now it's fight, flight, freeze, fawn. It's all these different things because people have studied it so much to see everybody doesn't respond to it the same. And this is why it's broad, because for so long it was only talked about in relationship to the military and war and war times and crimes like that, or very intense crime situations or something as severe as like 9, 11. But really we're talking about things that we may not consider trauma. Like you're a cave person and you're making and you're doing life, and then all of a sudden you no longer have all of your family because there are some animals that have taken out part of your. Your tribe or.

Exactly.

Doesn't mean they didn't have a response response. It meant that they adjusted and adapted to what the environment required. And so when we speak about trauma, that's essentially what each and every one of us is doing. Something severe happens enough that triggers our survival mechanisms in our brain, the part of our brain that says, don't pay attention to everything else, pay attention to what's happening in this moment, or shut down and protect the mind, okay? Protect the mind from what is actually going on. And so either one of these things can happen. And when that happens, what happens after that is still survival mode because it has to come to some type of response or resolve in order for the body, brain, and mind to then reconnect. And so over time, every generation of the human, of human existence has experienced some level of trauma, whether it be environmental, whether it be in close proximity, like within a familial group, whether it be within a tribal group, whether it be in an economy, within a culture, all the way out. Right. And the thing about it is the, the reason I said earlier that we talk about it from this individual or group space is because it's about proximity what makes the most sense to me in my experience.

Correct.

And that's what we go towards.

Right, right, right.

And so when that happens, we can then create belief systems and perceptions and ways in which we communicate ways in which we behave based on the reinforced conditioning around how we survive post trauma. So it's like I said, it's broad.

Yes.

It's deep. And it's. So we, as we were saying earlier, when I, when I asked, kind of like, what angle do you want to take care?

Yes, absolutely. So does all trauma have to deal with survival? Could you have trauma that may Be associated with. With like. Like loss, like death.

So anything, any trauma impacts us and goes into this survival mode place. So when we experience loss in a traumatic way, like a parent, like what we just experienced, people went to the grocery store and didn't come home.

Right.

Wow.

Right. And it was very public, and it was very tragic and raw and just unsensible. Right, Right. When things like that happen, it's unexplained, or even when someone completes suicide, very sudden. And people always say, oh, well, we didn't see the signs of it because it's not that predictable. We talk about this from places where we think we know how to prevent certain things. Like, you know, we may think that we know more than what we actually do.

Right, Right.

And this is something that is psychological principle overestimation of what we are actually understanding and can do happens a lot. It's a bias. Correct. It's a psychological bias that we have because we are trying to survive. Right. But when we incur things suddenly, when we incur things outside of our control, when we cannot do anything, we feel helpless.

Right.

Each and every individual. Individual is going to respond to that in their way based on what their history is and what their individual personal and personal experiences have been up until that point. The three of us could experience an active shooter, and each one of us have a different response to how we can, how we'll do what will happen right after that incident is over. Some people will be in a daze, and we'll go about life like nothing ever happened. Some people will completely break down, be in tears every day, be completely shut down. Some people might get more erratic, might want to retaliate. So you see, like, it depends on what is your kind of makeup, what has already happened to you. And that's the thing about trauma that we have to kind of get some perspective about. It's really, really about what's happened to you.

Yes.

A lot of times with trauma. Because oftentimes many people don't get intervention from trauma.

Okay.

You know, you don't get any resolve when traumatic events happen. Because if you're not directly involved in deception.

Correct. Was violent, was traumatizing.

Right, Right. The people came from somewhere else. They came here and it was like this, man. No, there was more like, this is mine.

I don't know.

Sorry, y'. All. But it was something like that, Something along the lines.

Right.

So this is mine. Right. Because I'm here. I don't see nobody else. Right.

Or if I do, I don't care. It's still mine.

It's mine. Right. I was here. I didn't see nobody else. And anybody who comes over here, it won't be theirs. It's gonna be mine.

Finders keepers, right?

Finders keepers, losers weepers, right?

Exactly.

Right. So that then led to. Oh, no, but it's actually ours.

Yeah.

And we were here first. We're here first. And no, no, no.

Yeah.

Bang, bang, bang.

Actually. How can you even own this? This is actually not even anybody.

Right.

This is the universe. This is gods. Like, like.

But they didn't see it that way. Right, Right. And. And part of the history. And this is the thing about trauma. Just because there was this movement to conquer things. Right. Didn't mean that the people who did the conquering weren't traumatized and then their offspring weren't traumatized by being a part of it. And all the people who were involved weren't traumatized. This is the thing we don't want to talk about. About. But it's real.

Correct.

Because there's a reason why these behaviors psychologically continue.

They say hurt people.

Hurt people. Yes.

Correct. Because when these also like the, the people that came here, because I remember in school they talked about these were like, you know, second class, third class citizens. They were the, the.

Don't get me the line and philosopher line about philosophy. But what I, but, but these were as I've been taught and you know, this is kind of what we've been taught is skewed. But what we've been taught. What is the most sold story is that there were, there were Europeans who did not want to be under leadership of total totality and monarch and all that. They wanted their own freedom of choice and will in country and government.

Exactly.

And they also particularly wanted economy per how they thought economy. Economy should be built and run. Okay. Right. It wasn't just. Let's go over there. Cause you know the reason why Russia is in Ukraine is because Russia wants more territory. Right. It's about territory. Geopolitics is about land. How much more land you have, the more resources you have. The more resources you have, the more power you have. It's not just about that currency. Because currency is not real until there's some kind of resource to attach it to. To trade with. Right?

Correct.

Yes. So it's about. It was about not just extending that role into this land. It was about those people and their ideals being extended into a different land that was actually different from the land that they came from. Okay. But economy was the slave trade. Wow. Right. That was the Economy. And it wasn't just Europeans participating in that economy. There were Africans participating in that economy.

Yeah, right.

This is true.

Yeah. Right.

Unfortunately, Moses took the people out of where?

Egypt. Right. Yeah.

And so when we talk about the length of generation, when we say generational trauma, what it really means is, is it goes.

It dates back.

Right. So the reason we have these responses, the reason we adapt, the reason we adjust and all these things, and when we look at this nation and its upbringing and it's what it's become, it came from this traumatic place. It had a history of producing trauma to produce economy to produce what we have today. And all of its convenience, in all of its freedom, it came with a cost. And that cost was a traumatic one. And so every side of this coin has its own story around that trauma. Some people have crafted that story for their own good and for their own, you know, survival, really. And this is not to minimize the harshness of this trauma, but it's to bring perspective to the fact that just because someone did it to someone else doesn't mean that they also didn't incur the effects of that. And the. And the lack of resolution behind that. The reason that that has not stopped and became different forms is, think about it. When you're in a group of people, you're more likely to acquiesce towards what the group wants.

Correct.

Versus what the individual wants, and especially when survival is at stake. Right. So if it's someone in the group that says, you know, we really actually shouldn't be killing people like this, this don't make no sense. Oh, really? Oh, okay. So whose side you want to be around? That's what it boils down to.

Right.

Because we've seen this in history play out. Right. So the reason I say this is because bringing perspective to how we deal with trauma means we have to really own that everybody can experience it and everybody has their own story. And the behavior that we see as a trauma response might actually be something we need to hear, because it could be leading to some things, some effects that we're missing. We might be missing how people are dealing with their trauma. And the. And the traditional routes of which we kind of deal with trauma has changed dramatically from the field of psychology because for quite some time, it just wasn't even researched. It really wasn't. Especially not from the perspective of, you know, marginalized people. It wasn't. For quite some time, it wasn't even researched. Now we have a whole trauma informed care model. Wow. Due to the recognition of everybody experience Experiences trauma, but everybody deals with it differently. Yeah.

How do we even define trauma?

Right.

Because I know we've said the word numerous times, but it's like, what is the actual definition from a clinical perspective of trauma?

I don't know how well I can define it. I think there's. I can give you what science has said thus far from my perspective or what I know, and that is. It is when an external event happens that the body and mind incurs when it is out of one's control and has numerous effects, it is usually something that, you know, when you think about, it's about what happened.

Correct.

Right. Trauma is about what happened and what is left from the event.

Correct.

And it can be numerous things. Right. It can look like climate change, it can look like environmental change, it can look like domestic violence. It can look like slavery. It can look like, you know, the loss of a job. It can look like the pandemic. It can, you know, wow. And it. And that's why I say it's a broad term, because depending on who in the medical field, the psychological field that you speak to around it, like, you know, we can experience physical trauma, car accident. Correct. Right. Trauma unit means your body has incurred some type of damage, some type of event beyond your control that could not be stopped.

Right.

That wasn't stopped. And now you have the effects of this thing that has happened. And the brain incurs that experience, just like the body and the mind and the spirit incurs that trauma. Wow. Does that understand? Yeah.

Yeah. So it could be physical and emotional, right?

Yes, it can. It's psychological, physical. I include spiritual, you know, it's behavioral, it's. It's emotional, it's sensory, it's. It's all of the things that a human is.

Correct. And it causes someone.

I was saying. And it says that trauma can, like, physically affect the structure of the brain.

Yeah. So this is what has been learned over time, is that when someone. And there's. So there's a few books, and I'm gonna have to. When we take a break, I'll get the list and, you know, share with everybody. But there's this phrase, the body remembers. And so there's a book about this, about how when, say, for instance, let's just take something very sudden again, let's use something. One of the extreme things, a mass shooting, you know, for the people there who experienced that and survived, those people likely have had a shift in their brain neurology. Their. Their brain has experienced something that without their control.

Correct.

Their brain is going to respond. And what has been said and what has been found in neuroscience is that one of the things. Let me back up for a minute. Our brain is chemicals, water, electricity and matter, right? So over time, from baby, from being born in utero, all the way up until we die, our neurons are constantly changing right there. And we go through this thing called synaptic pruning, neuronal pruning, where in teenage years you get rid of all the, basically the neurons you don't need and then you grow ones that you need for further in life. And this is a part of like this kind of evolutionary thing. Like we need new things to do new things per the requirements of environment. Well, what's been studied is that when the brain incurs transformation trauma, there are new neuronal pathways made. And so when that happens, they are functioning basically. And I hate to use this kind of loose analogy of, of circuitry because sometimes that's what it's, that's what it's like, you know, people can relate to. But essentially it's like a new circuit forms and it forms around how now the body primarily, primarily primally needs to function. Given this incurrence of this thing that was out of my control. So now if it was a very high fear response, like this very heightened fear response, then the person might now remember color, sound, odor, smell, correct height of a per. You know, these very just kind of subtleties and even salient things. Like sometimes when I do consultations with people, I ask them things like, you know, do you prefer male or female or you know, a certain type of person? Because you never know per someone's history, especially if they've had an abusive history or sex, you know, like these are things that imprint into that new neurology. So a person's height and complexion might be a trigger.

Wow.

So. So you don't know that they may not realize that until the moment they're sitting there and they're interacting. And the thing that the brain created a neuronal response for triggers and is on and saying this is the thing you were afraid of, basically.

Wow.

And so that's what the brain. So the brain is always creating new programming, basically correct.

It's like when I see a police car, right? I'm like, wake up.

It's our response because we may not have experienced experience this kind of thing. We've witnessed, right? These shootings and this, but we have a response, correct.

Cuz some people feel safe when they see the police, right? It's like you could have two people, I Could be standing.

And it depends for me where I am. Seriously, it depends on where I am in Georgia. When I was in graduate school and I had to drive from Iowa back to Atlanta and I had to stop to get gas, I had to call home to my aunt, who's from here, born in the 20s, and say, yo, can I stop in Rome, Georgia? Right. She was like, no. And I mean, you know, they've got black people there, but Rome doesn't have a very good history when it comes to us in the early stages development, Georgia. And so. And. But that is still to this day. And we know. Like, I was just recently watching a documentary on the green book and how there were. There was a book that people carried with them.

The black business.

Yes. To when they drove, where to stop, where not to stop, where the haters were. This is what we're talking about when we say that everybody has a different effect. Because I. There are certain places where my defense mechanism don't go up.

Correct.

And there are certain ones where it absolutely goes up. You know, and I am mindful and I practice how. What is happening in my body when I experience that. Because that's the other part. Like, while the brain is forming this new thing, new feelings form, emotions form, new beliefs form new perceptions, then that becomes behavior.

That's right.

Correct. But also, doesn't trauma put you, like, in a constant state of stress? Because it's like your body's experienced this thing, this external circumstance. Right.

Well, I mean, when it happens, you definitely have this increase in what's, you know, the stress hormone. Cortisol.

Correct.

And adrenaline. And the thing about cortisol is that when it's too much in the body, when it's in the body for too long, it causes inflammation and causes. It is the hormone that. That science has found out is the leading cause of most disease.

Exactly.

And so, yes, when you are experiencing heightened states of fear and heightened. These heightened primal states of existence.

Correct.

And your brain is constantly on the. The. The triggers are on, and you're trying to survive, and you're paying attention to your hyper. Like, you may not feel like you're doing that. Correct. But your brain knows you're doing that.

Correct.

Right.

It's like a. It's like a response to the stress.

To the images, like coping to it. Mechanism.

Well, yeah, it's adapting. Yeah, it's actually adapting.

It's like the response to the imminent danger. Right. It's like in primitive times, you can mention a caveman, right. He sees a dinosaur. Oh, my God. I need to run, panic, hide, whatever I'm doing. Right.

Yeah.

But then dinosaur goes away, then the body, you know, kind of comes back down. But ultimately when the dinosaur appears, there's this like, adrenaline rush. There's this increase of blood to the extremities to. To get to safety.

Right.

Or figure out ways to. Because you're still start breathing, you know, faster. Body goes into this, you know, immediate stress response, but then with trauma, from my understanding, because I've been through, you know, several traumatic experiences. I know most of us have, but I know for me, it's like every time I think of that thing, I go back to that initial response. So some. So if something happens traumatic and I'm continuously think about just by thought alone, my body is heightened in that same state of response, stress response that I first realized when it occurred.

Yes.

So it's like my body then is in this constant state of emergency response all the time.

When that. Yes. When it is triggered. Yes.

That's because I'm thinking about it. Right. For example, you lose. I lost, you know, my wife. Right. So every time I think of her or what happened, it's like I'm there already.

Right.

It's like. And that could have. Especially when it happened, it's like it continuously occurred for months where every day I was in this heightened state of stress.

Right. And this is what leads to, you know, us, you know, when professionals, you know, when people have responses and they. And they have reactions to things and they don't know where it's coming from, or they may know, but can't stop the reaction because you can't stop thinking.

About it because this thought is there. It's like, yeah, constant.

And this is what leads to the kind of this, this symptomatology, this cluster symptomatology that can be diagnosed as ptsd, post traumatic stress, correct disorder, or, you know, diagnosis. But true that this is, this is. This. This is why it's important for, you know, it's important for us to pay attention to our stories, our histories and knowing our family history. Knowing more about just the proximity of who's closest to us.

Right.

Because that informs what has now led to genetic mutations over time. It informs the presence of disease over time.

Correct.

And psychological conditions. So you know, how. And the other thing is, is when it starts stored in your body and you have those reactions to the mere thought, it means it hasn't resolved. It means that there, there is a need to pay attention and learn how to. How to regulate your body's nervous system. Per these thoughts. Because you. Because the thing about thoughts and feelings is this is fleeting. They come and go.

Right.

You kind of don't control. But there are reasons that you may get triggered for the thought to appear that you may not even be aware of.

Correct.

Because when trauma happens, when the event happens, it just. You kind of get this storage into your unconscious.

Okay.

Right.

Correct.

So, yeah, yeah.

So when I hear that music, you.

Know what time it is?

It's a cue that we've been talking too much.

And then some water.

We need. Apparently we need to, you know, slow it down. The. We build up too much energy or something.

It's so deep. It's so deep. But yes, we. We're definitely we. We'll be right back with some more conscious intercourse on power 108.9.

Wow. Good job.

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Question. What's the only station where you can get R and B, hip hop, pop and talk radio? Time's up.

Power 108.9.

A station for the people.

With mine. And I'm almost 40. I'll be 40 this month. Damn.

Really, Michael?

I'm sorry.

A station for the people?

Oh, yes, yes, yes. And we are back with more conscious intercourse and with mental health consultant and coach Stephanie Johnson here. Wow. As she just touched on some things.

Very powerful.

Dealing with trauma. Just so, so broad. It's so broad. But, but what I want to know is, is with this broad spectrum of trauma, how do we begin to heal? Like, how do we begin to first recognize that there's something that we need to heal from, Recognize that we have trauma.

I think it takes a little just a level leveling with our, excuse me, individual self around being human. I think we. We have to just be honest with ourselves. And I also think we have to be mindful of what we are indirectly and directly taught about being human.

Okay.

Because there's a lot of information that we have kind of brought with us traditionally that no longer matches the life we're living now. Right. That means that if a family has experienced loss, loss of a wife.

Correct.

That it's okay for dad to cry in front of the family because dad is hurting. We may have. We may be carrying a stereotypical thought or belief system about men.

Exactly.

And how men emote or don't emote. And that, excuse me, can get. Perpetuate it as unhealthy behavior. Yes. So being honest to what humanity really means. That there are this. This cliche saying there are no perfect people. Right. But what does it really mean? What does it mean when you are a Christian and you are taught that Jesus is the way in the light and that Jesus was perfect and everything that is perfect preached is towards being like Christ. If you don't really know what that means in terms of metaphor, in terms of kind of a state of character building as opposed to literal process of life, then you might not be honest. Honest when you're going through pain, you might not be honest when you're going through turbulent times with the very people who might be going through it with you. Wow. You may not be. Because the idea is if Jesus could do. Yeah. And be sacrificial in his body, then I must be able to manage whatever Comes Right. Let's be clear. Jesus was God. Right. And last I checked, we not. So if that is the case. Right. We ain't got what. Because Jesus left and went up and around and came back and came back. Unless one of us around this table can do that.

Right.

Then that might. That the way in which it's taught might lead to a belief system of practicing day to day when you're dealing with things that you, you can't bear. And yes, our faith is our supplement, is our strong, our stronghold and our foundation for some people who practice it that way. But it doesn't mean that you negate the human parts of life that are very real and very manageable. Should, should you be honest about what your experience and your truth is? Wow. Because a lot of people, even on this kind of conversation of faith, there's a lot of religious trauma that people have experienced.

Preach religious trauma.

And this is something that I get, I get cause and people I'm struggling with, you know, going to church because of these things that, that happened in church. Yes. You know, we're seeing it over and over and over again how people have mishandled their leadership, their power and you got souls at stake.

Indeed.

You know, and if you really are into spirituality and religion, not just religion and the practice of doing the things right. Because that seems to be putting you on the right thing, whatever that outcome is supposed to be. Be.

Exactly.

It's about the soul, it's about the spirit. And it has something there, has some validity there somewhere. Because all that stuff that scripture talking about is not about the thing, that's the outcome. It's about the soul. Because Jesus didn't die that cross for nothing. So your soul could go somewhere. Right? Right. But if you are practicing it from a perspective of I just have to get through this and, and, and I know that, you know, I wouldn't be going through this if I couldn't bear it.

Exactly.

Right. This is a message we get often. But this, what is this really telling us? Think about it.

Yeah. It's like desensitizes you.

Right.

Like okay, I'm supposed to, I'm supposed to be strong.

I'm supposed to be strong Jesus.

But that doesn't mean you can't cry.

Say God won't give you more than you can handle. Right, Right.

But, but God also gave you help. And that's why God we gonna use the scripture, talk about the spiritual gifts because he gave them to you. Say find one.

There you go.

You might have one of those spiritual gifts. Right.

Indeed.

Because that might be the tool you need.

Yeah.

In your humanness.

Correct.

To go through the things. Things you need to go through in a way that might be healthy for you.

Right.

Because we all don't have the same gifts.

Right.

Right. But if we're taking this, in this way of we can just. If we only pray, if we only do this and we have. The thing that I've noticed too, that's happening right now is we kind of have this tunnel vision about it's either this thing or this thing. It's not. It can't have duality. Right. It can't be multiplicity implicit. Is. It can't. It has that there can't be more than one thing exists under one.

No, no, no.

You can, you can have a faith that is strong and you can believe in that and practice that and use it to your benefit and your advantage to keep you healthy. Right.

Okay.

Because if a God wants you abundant and God is love. Yes. And fear without love is torment, then. Then. Then what? Then how do you get to the abundance?

Right.

How do you get there? Yeah. Right. Like how? Like we have to kind of break through these belief systems that have been just traditionally handled, handed down, that we don't challenge.

It almost seems like as we're having this discussion, the fabric of our entire society, society is ingrained with trauma. It's trauma filled.

Yes.

Even the whole notion of Jesus dying on the cross and being scorched with skin, being torn off and beaten. Exactly. Like literally we read that every Sunday at church. So we literally, we were reliving the.

Trauma to Jesus's trauma over and over and over. So what do you do with yours?

That's deep right there.

If a child is being taught that, think about it. What God is, what if he's real, if he's not, what is, what is it? What is it?

Correct.

And you're taught that the Almighty being was sacrificed and tormented.

Be Christlike for you.

And this again, I am Christian, I am Baptist. But. But I always think through what I learn. Absolutely. And how it is useful to my well being and my survival and my thriving. Because our belief systems matter. When we are trying to bring people into faith, when we are trying to save people from the angle of faith or anything else, the belief system we project is the thing that the person will either use or not use for themselves.

Correct.

Right. So if this is the message, then then we, we kind of might want to act. Well, why would somebody want to go and be a part of that?

Correct.

Because. And then Say, oh, well, there's all these things that you acquire after. After you go through the trauma. The trauma. So you have to question it. Because there are people who believe that because of their trauma, because of the hard things they've been through. That's the way it's supposed to be. This is why. And, and let me be clear. I'm not meshing Christian faith or practice and believing in Christ and believing in faith with the idea that we're not supposed to, because there has this trauma history. What we have to do is think for ourselves. The Word also says, interpret it for yourself, which means you have to learn beyond what the preacher is saying. Because preachers are really good at selling you on their projections.

Correct.

I learned real young once. I had a pastor who taught. Who taught the Bible theoretically, historically, and spiritually. I learned how to interpret the Word for myself. So I had to learn how to look at history books and go, oh, that's the same land they was talking about in the Bible. When I looked in the back of the book and it was the map, and that's all. This is the same place.

Exactly.

So what were those people doing during that time when these scriptures were supposed to be written and have lasted this long? How does it apply to me today?

Correct.

What am I supposed to learn so that I don't have to go through what those lessons have already been? But we keep repeating, repeating history. We keep repeating trauma. Correct. We keep repeating it.

How do we break the cycle?

We. We have to be honest. And we also, when we challenge information and we get new information, we then have to say it's okay to believe the new information.

Correct. Right. To not be so stuck because this huge problem.

Yeah.

Like, I learned recently that. That by the time you're 35 years old, 90. This is what. Of course, I read and follow a bunch of stuff. I came across something that said, by the time you're 35 years old, 95% of everything that you do is based on your conditioning. And it's done on. And it's done unconsciously.

And I would say it's probably before 35.

Yeah.

Because we expect humans to survive on their own at 21.

Exactly. So it's this thing where you're running on a program unconsciously based on the religion, the schooling, your family dynamic, whatever it is that you've been taught your entire life from the, you know, in those primitive years and just created a. A program.

And this is where the learned behavior comes from.

Exactly.

This is out of behaviorism. Right. This is what this means it's just so you're unconscious. Yes.

95 of the time.

Robot mechanical. This is why you have so many people who believe, who can easily believe, like conspiracy theories and, and, and, and can see the need for changing behavior but won't change behavior. Because the thing about behavior is that yes, it can be conditioned, it can be learned, it can be robotically done. But the thing about learning is if you try to unlearn something, the only way it sticks is if you replace it with something else. If you just try to shift a behavior or change your behavior or try to deal with your trauma on your own, well, you're the only one with your thoughts. You're the only one with those responses.

You're the only one.

So if you don't replace it with something else. Correct. Then you're going to just kind of go back and forth within yourself.

Correct.

And you're going to create more stress and you're going to create more, more, more reasons to just stay in it than to change it.

You're gonna do more harm than good.

Right, Correct. So it's. You're right, it's. And, and we are conditioned to believe certain things and to practice certain ways. And I think we're in a state of our world right now where a lot of evidence is showing it's a shift we are shifting out of. And I think the pandemic brought it in.

Yeah, indeed.

It sat you down and forced you to do just kind of be with yourself and all that you're in. That's in you.

Exactly.

And all that's around you and just. And in. Decide how you wanted to move forward as a human being. Because this environment is requiring us in you.

Exactly.

And all that's around you and just. And in. Decide how you wanted to move forward as a human being. Because this environment is requiring us something different. That pre pandemic did not.

Exactly.

When we have environmental shifts, humans are forced, Animals are forced to adapt, evolve and evolve.

Correct.

And if you do not. Darwin is right. Exactly.

You're the weakest link.

Right. You become a weak link.

Correct.

Because. And that resistance comes from the condition when the evidence for change is needed and presented. Correct. There are some people who will not accept it, choose it, but it's not.

Like it's not an option because they're unconscious. Though a lot of times it's like. So you brought up a good point. Right. The pandemic, I think brought this movement or this circumstance that was like a wake up call. Right. That should have shook most of us awake out of the slumber, out of this unconscious program. It's like, wake up. Like, yeah, get out of this program. Like, this is life.

Right.

Take control and figure out the best plan forward.

Yes.

For you, especially in your close and loved ones. Right. So we found ourselves in this evolutionary period, almost like this transition appeared right now where so much is changing across the globe within our existence, know, as humanity as a whole. So we. So we have to. It has to be a collective approach though.

Right. I mean, every. Every change starts with one individual at a time. Absolutely. You know, it. Martin Luther King didn't want to just go start preaching and telling people to be. He didn't want to do that. People close to him say he. He really refused for a while, but eventually his voice, his essence, who he was and his purpose. Purpose Spoke to him. He made a decision, understanding. See, this is the thing about dealing with trauma. Because he experienced it growing up in Atlanta. Yes. Right. His family experienced it.

Right.

But this thing about trauma, that if you want to change your condition with it, you have to understand that there will be some kind of sacrifice. Going back to our point about religion. There will be. And. And it might be you. It might be you literally or figuratively, but that is a part of the acceptance. Acceptance process. Right. That you will sacrifice an old self to become a new self.

I love that.

That's deep.

And if we want to use a religious perspective and using the story of Jesus Christ life in that way, we can use it that way. Wow. We can say that that trauma represents old and new, but it's a decision that you have to make honestly. And you have to accept all the conditions of that.

Correct.

Change. Because you have to accept that it's going to be hard. Right. You have to accept that the things that you have normalized in order for you to survive in the mode that you've been surviving will no longer exist. Correct. You have to therefore accept that they may change your environment. Meaning you might have to move from the place where you live.

So deep.

You may have to change the people who. Around you who are used to you acting and responding in a trim with traumatic responses.

Correct.

It may mean that you have to learn a new religion. It may mean you have to learn a new practice of health, helping yourself.

Correct.

It may mean you have to give up who you thought your identity was.

Right.

Correct.

As the trauma person might have to.

Give up meat and become a vegan.

Yeah.

You know, vegan. You know, give up, give up the old way of eating.

I mean, and it depends. And it's yours. It's your story, and it's your thing. And it only. It's only you because we're all on these individual journeys. So.

So with that, with you dealing with yourself and your own personal traumas, how hard is it to maintain strong relationships?

It's not. It's not easy at all.

It's not easy.

It's hard. Yes. I mean, you.

It.

One of the things that I have learned over my awakening through 2020, and in this time, spirituality for me has become a whole new thing, is that I understand. Understand something that I definitely didn't prior to, and that is each and every one of us is on our own journey through this what I call plane.

Yes.

And we had a purpose to begin, and we'll have a purpose to end. And no matter who's close to us, no matter who we're related to, no matter how tight that is, how loose that is, that that journey is going to be what it is.

Right.

We determine in what this human form experiences, how long we experience it, how intense it is, how we. We determine it. Every single day we wake up.

Yeah.

Every single day. Yeah. And when you understand your journey is yours, and you understand that only through loving yourself, and this is hard because you. You got to really understand your definition of love.

Yes.

Correct.

Right. And what that really means. And for me, I. I use my spiritual definition of love, that God is love. Okay. So if God is love, then God can't be fear.

Nope.

So they can't. Because fear is torment. Love is perfect. So for me, if I want to experience that level of love, then I have to be willing to do what brings that to me. That means I can't live with fear. Indeed, trauma responses continue not only because they become a part of our mechanical makeup biologically after it happens, but we also create a belief system that is usually based on. In fear of something else happening.

Correct.

And one of the things that we can do is try to shift our belief system into a place of our own understanding of what love means to us. And that is going to be different for everybody. And you don't owe anybody your definition.

If they get it, they get it.

If they don't, they don't. And I. Honestly, people who I've seen recover from their traumatic experiences understand that that is their journey alone. Correct. Because nobody understands their trauma because they're not in their brain. They're not living it.

Correct.

So if you're not living it, then you're not going to understand why this person needs to move. You're not. If you love them, though, you got to tell them, love me. Text me when you get there.

Exactly.

Right. Do what you need to do, because it must mean something that deep for.

You, and that's love.

And that it may mean, as a.

Relationship, loving somebody may mean letting them go.

Exactly. Or it may mean that the distance doesn't mean the end.

It doesn't mean.

And for some people, it would definitely mean the end because they are part of the trauma. Right. And your love for yourself has to teach you that. Yeah, Correct. And if you don't have a definition of love that somebody else didn't give you, it was never supposed to be given to you. Love is not a message that. That someone else should give you. And that's what we're taught, though.

Yes.

We're taught that God loves you. So if God loves you, if Jesus loves you, if this person loves you, if these external things love you, you, then you do this. So what we're actually practicing is in order for me to get love, I must have to do something for something else. Right?

Right.

But actually, God is love, and we already have God, then we really don't need anybody else already in perfect form.

So you brought up a good point.

So we have it already inside.

Exactly.

Absolutely. But life can distance us from it. Correct. And it's always ready to be reclaimed. But we have to believe that that's true by giving ourselves permission to believe something that the trauma didn't tell us or is not telling us or is making us feel guilty about saying.

Correct.

Right.

So you brought up a good point about creating something new. Right. Whether it's a new religion, new faith, moving right to a new location across the country, to a beautiful deserted island. Right. We have to learn to. I feel like in order to heal and overcome trauma, to create a new.

Right.

But a lot of times we're stuck in this addiction to trauma. I feel like a lot of us are addicted to the trauma because you said it's become part of our makeup, so we actually are addicted to it. We watch movies that, you know, convey the trauma. Right. Over and over again with our music. Right. Our relationships, like everything is surrounded by all that trauma.

And then we try to figure out why we can't exactly change. Exactly.

So every day we seek for that same trauma in some type of form. Right. It's like this. This doctor, the scientist I've been following, you know, Dr. Joe Dispenza. Yeah. He talks about this concept of we every day. Our thoughts are either visiting the familiar past or the predictable future. Because we, in our mind, we're like, okay, I get up. I have this thing that happened in the past. So now it's on my mind all the time. But then this thing is projecting my future. So then I'm predicting, based on this thing that happened here, my future is going to look this way. Right. So we keep. But as we keep. Keep our eyes in the past, we are recreating the same thing in the future.

That's why thoughts create reality.

So he talks about the concept of. Through meditation, of finding that sweet moment in the present moment to where you let go of everything.

Right.

You detach from everything. And in that void is the only place you could create something new.

Yeah.

Right. So we have to learn to tap into that void. Right.

Because that is where, you know, there's a reason. I don't know if you all are familiar with Jay Shetty's book, Think Like a Monk.

Yeah, right.

I think that's the title.

Exactly. It's on my list. Yeah.

But in that he talks about why they sit for so long in silence. Right. Because it's hard. You know, a lot of people during the pandemic were diagnosed with adjustment disorder. Basically just kind of like just forced sitting. This forced removal of our autonomy and making decisions and having control led to us not being able to really cope very well through that type of shift all of a sudden. But in that time, though, is a decision that has to be made or could be made, whether you take that time to really deal with everything you've been distracted from. Right. Our busy lives are just distractions. Yeah, right.

Yeah.

It's. It's why the familiar past and the predictable future exist. Because we're constantly trying to run from.

One and run to the other.

Right. You run from one. One to the other. But in that place of void, in that silent place, in that place that's still in the place that's quiet and the place that a lot of people. People fear when they have trauma, when they bear. When it. Especially if the trauma is continuing. Yeah. You know, you're having this continuous response, you know, react or. Or event happening, and you. You can't get out of it.

Exactly.

It's hard to go into that place. Yes. Because that place is scary. It's. It's where all of the feelings that you can recognize cognitively actually have physical feelings healing.

Yeah, right.

They actually have the physiological presence. And for some people, that is really hard to deal with. And it's very valid because it represents the intensity of the pain that a lot of people try to escape. So sitting in stillness and being quiet with oneself and all of that. A lot of people. Yeah, yeah, that's great. That's fine. Wonderful.

Exactly.

But, yes, I can't go there because I don't know what happened there.

Exactly.

Right. So that is a practice thing. This is why we have interventions. Okay. This is why we have embodiment. Embodiment movements and somatic psychosomatic interventions to help you deal with.

Okay.

The physiological part, that quietness and stillness can make you very, very aware of meditation, y'. All.

We have to learn how to meditate and meditate.

So.

But it begins to heal.

Yes, yes. Because it is. It is a definitely vital healing practice in and of itself because that's where the brain can also regenerate.

Correct.

And create new things.

So, Stephanie, tell us where people can find you and learn more about you.

Find me. So I am on Instagram at Navy Psych, N A V, I, P, S, Y, C, H. And I have a website, www.navisych.com.

Fantastic.

Thank you so much again for joining us.

Thank you for having me.

Also curious, what services do you provide as well? Just for people out there? So they know, you know.

So people. Yes. So I help people find mental health professionals and healing practitioners that they need. It started with mental health, but it kind of expands where I do consultations with you. I sit down and make sure that you really understand what your needs are and how to meet them. Then I search for the providers and I make recommendations, and then I coach you through how to begin the process of entering into therapy, how to. What to expect, what the process procedures are. I also do individual coaching, mental health coaching, where we go a little bit deeper to get to the patterns of behavior and everything that really might hinder the present and really build confidence about the authentic self.

That's a fantastic service because a lot of times here, for me personally in the past, people have said, oh, I need a therapist. So I even thought about it for myself, but I don't even know where to start. Because you Google therapist, it's like a million things. I don't understand what these letters mean. It says T, Y, X, Y, Z. Yeah, I don't know what that means. And you gotta go and research. It's like, that's a phenomenal service. I'm so grateful that you offer that to the people.

Thank you. Thank you very much. So, yes. And if people are interested in that, you just go to my website. It's all there for you. Awesome. Please.

Check her out, y'.

All.

Check her out and begin to heal.

Yes.

Find out how you can begin to heal. Go back and talk to your ancestors, your friend of your family, people you know. Find out what's going on in your family, where your trauma come from.

Be conscious as your intercourse with the world.

Absolutely. And thank you again for tuning in to conscious intercourse on power 108.9.