Trauma and it's overall effect on your life pt 1... Ep 6

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The opinions and views expressed by this program are those of the program program host and guest, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Power 108.9 and its officials. We hope you enjoy. Beautiful people. Welcome, welcome. Conscious Intercourse Armand with Emma Pill.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. What's up? Good people.

Gorgeous people. Beautiful people. Enlightened people. Conscious people. Woke people. All kinds of peoples.

Everybody hope everybody had a great weekend. Holiday weekend. Whether you celebrate the holiday, whether you didn't celebrate the holiday.

What happened this weekend? Did I miss something?

It was extended. That's what happened. It was extended.

My days be like just back to. Back to back. I never know like, what's what. Oh, they just.

You didn't get that memo.

They just all jumbled up together. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It'd be like that.

Sometimes time does not exist.

Yeah, yeah. So we got an interesting show for you today.

Is it interesting today?

It's always interesting.

Is it not interesting the other times? Only today's interesting.

Oh, this one? Yeah, he's on one today. Right. It's always interesting.

I don't do drugs.

Who said it? Who said drugs?

Isn't that what that mean? I'm on one? Isn't like a drug thing?

Like whatever it is you on? You on it? Wow. No, we. Today we want to talk about. We always talk about consciousness and relationships and communication, but today we want to talk about trauma. Trauma and how it affects all those aspects.

Man, that is. That's that word trauma.

Yeah. And it looks like so many different things to different people, right?

Indeed.

Yeah.

It's that word. It's like, I don't even know how to, like, fathom it or process it. It's just.

But you know, when you experience in it.

Yeah.

And some people don't. That's the thing.

Because it could be. It could be anything to some people, Right. Some people. It could be.

It could be the norm for some people. Some people are living in trauma and don't know it because it's their norm. Right.

Yeah, that's. That's one of those words that is so. You know, it demands so much attention because a lot of people have experienced it in one facet or another.

Yeah.

I mean, you have a whole culture of people that have experienced trauma, and it's actually generational to where it's passed down or DNAs, you know, to other generations. It's, you know, some. You know, some of us are reliving traumas from our parents, from our grandparents, from our ancestors. You Know, so it's such a vast concept, you know, to conceptualize that you could be today having challenges in your life that stems back as far as. Back as your ancestry goes, that you.

Don'T have no idea about, like, like no idea.

Almost even. Even no control because you don't even know what it is.

Right, right.

Yeah, that's. That's mind boggling.

And they say some people, you know, who experience trauma, their development somewhat stops at that point.

Correct.

So some people, you know, you had trauma 14 years old.

Yeah.

And you now 30, you might still be stuck in that 14 year old mentality because of that trauma.

Yeah. That reminds me of a song that Nas did years ago when he was talking about people being in their second childhood. Right. He was going through and describing people who's still on the block, you know, doing stuff that they were doing when they were 14 and they're actually 40. So now I'm wondering if that was trauma related, like something happened to those people, whether it was crack. Right. Because crack, I assume, is traumatic, right?

You know, very much so.

Crack being introduced into, you know, to the hoods or to our neighborhoods, you know, in the late 70s, early 80s. I'm assuming those were traumatic experiences. Some of those people that found themselves either whether it was crack or heroin, whatever it was. So then they find find themselves, you know, still doing the same things they were doing at the time they first smoked crack 30, 40 years later. Wow.

I see it all the time. I see a lot of, you know, and when they say ptsd.

Ptsd. I thought it was only, you know, soldiers in the army that experienced ptsd.

If you experienced trauma, any kind of traumatic experience, experience, ptsd.

Wow.

And I see, I see. I see a lot of people I grew up with. Sometimes you go back to where you. Where you came from, you see some of the same people.

Correct.

Doing the same things like what happened to you, Like. Yeah, some people stuck. Literally stuck.

Yeah. I mean, this guy named. Well, let me think about it. This guy named the Webster, Right. He said that trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. I don't know where Webster got that from, but, you know, he kind of nailed it down. He kind of nailed it down to what this thing could be. You know, he said a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. So that is. That's deep. That's profound.

That's. That's like.

This is deep. It's like deeply ingrained in you or disturbing.

So how does that affect, like everything, Every. How does that affect you overall? Like your communication how you process information, it has to affect you, right?

I mean, why wouldn't it? Right?

So you got everybody walking around with all kinds of traumas, right? But everybody's trying to communicate, trying to get in relationships. Get in relationships. Relationships.

And go to work.

Work, raise children, right.

And are traumatized every day.

Not. And not understand why. Why this, not why relationship. Relationships are not working. Why are my children not listening to me? Why can't I, you know, bond with my children and. And not even thinking that, oh, I got this trauma that I, you know, dealt with that I haven't really dealt with. So. But how do you recognize that? How do you recognize your trauma?

Because life goes on, right? It goes on because whatever this deeply disturbing experience is, right? It happens.

It happens. You gotta move on.

It's like, omg, you know, you can't sleep. You know, you're. You know, some people drink, some people resort to food. Some people, it's sex, you know, like your girl said, smoke it away.

Yeah, smoke it away, drink it away, sex it away.

Yeah. It's like crane cranes, you know?

Yeah.

I never understood that part, but I'm still working on understanding what the cranes are about. But.

But yeah, is people try to do all kind of things because you still.

Got to go on, you still got to go to work, you still got to pay bills, you still gotta go to school.

And you don't have time. It's like you don't have time to. To. To deal. You don't have time to process. You know, people lose. People don't have time to mourn, don't have time to, you know, to really deal with those things. You have to. Life goes on. You have to just keep moving and.

Just like suppress it somehow, you know.

Because grieving is a hard thing. You know, just losing people grievances is tough. And you find yourself just. Just spazzing out, just having moments where you just don't know what happened. Like, oh, I'm in a bad mood today. I'm in a funk.

Yeah.

Because it's gonna hit you. It's gonna hit you or, you know, you communicating with somebody and they may say triggers. They may say something that triggers something. This is like, you know, then you forced to deal with it in that moment, and that's never the best time to deal with it.

Right.

You know, so how do you. How do you recognize trauma within yourself and begin the process of healing?

You know, that's. That's a great question. Right? Very thought provoking question. Yeah, I think we got to get A therapist on here to really, I think that's, to hear the medical perspective of, you know, I think that's a good idea. You know, how to interpret trauma and how to address it. You know, I've been, you know, I've seen therapists, been in therapy, you know, because I've, you know, to deal with some of the traumas that I've personally experienced.

How did that work for you?

Oh, man, I really don't know. Right. You know, because you're in therapy and you're looking for this like solution. You're looking for them to perform some type of magic, just fix you. Yeah.

Tell me what's wrong.

Tell me. Exactly. But you sit there first you got to relive it because they want to hear about it. Right?

Right.

So you gotta live it. So then you, then you're crying, you're in tears, you're hurting. Because it's like that's the thing with trauma. Right. Every time you revisited or you reiterated to someone those emotions, it's almost like you're back in that moment. Yeah, right.

Yeah.

That's why I almost believe that there's no such thing as time. Because literally you could reminisce something and it's almost like you're, you're back in that exact moment.

Yeah. Feeling all those feelings.

All those feelings, all those emotions come back. So you relive it.

That's why people numb themselves. That's why people try not to feel it.

Yeah.

That's why they do all the things like the sex, drugs and the alcohol. Alcohol. So they won't feel it.

The non vegan food.

Whatever, whatever it is to cope so you won't have to feel so you can move on. And, and I've, you know, I've done it. I've done it. I, I believe I still do it.

Yeah.

I still do it. In some ways. You know, we just like. I don't want to think about that.

Yeah.

I don't even want to think about that because it's going to stress me out. So let me think about something else. Correct.

I remember my first time in therapy. Literally the first session I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. They said you have a, you have generalized anxiety. Right. And I'm like, what does that even mean? Like, I'm a black man in America. Of course I have anxiety. Like, Right. Every time I get in a car and I see a cop car behind me, I'm super anxious. Right. And then he, you know, when he learned I shared with him that I, you know, I used to smoke weed in college. To like, I smoked weed to get through college. And he's like, oh, you were self medicating. Yeah, exactly.

Right?

The natural healing. This is from the earth.

It's from the earth.

You know what I'm saying? It's like. But he was like, you're self medicating yourself. You have some type of a chemical. He said that I had a chemical imbalance in my brain that I. That couldn't resolve itself unless I had.

Sounds so terrible. Right?

Right. Well, I felt like I was. What's this? Okay, I was gonna use the word, but I've been told by my children that that word is that I can't use that word anymore. What?

Crazy?

No, it's the other word. You can't say that word. Did you just do this on live radio?

I didn't call you.

You can'. The word. That's like the nword. It's the R word. Now you can't even say it. You know, literally, my choice should be like, dad, you can't say that word. Oh my God. Well, she's like, this is 2022. This is not 1979. We don't use that word anymore.

Hey, it's a lot of that walking around though. So.

Yeah, it's like. So I felt, literally, that's how I felt. I felt like the R word. I'm like, this dude just told me that. I'm like, I literally felt like something was wrong with me. Like I had to process that for like six months. I was like, yo, this dude said I have a chemical imbalance that cannot be resolved unless I add other chemicals to balance it back out. So he suggested I get on these, you know, anti anxiety meds. And I was like, what? You know, it took me like six months to process it. You know, finally made peace with the fact that I may potentially be R. Potentially be the R word. I made peace with it. I was like, you know what? Give me these pills, right? Because I got to go to corporate America.

And that's how they got you.

Exactly.

I got you.

I gotta sit in traffic for two hours back of. You know, each time, each way to work. You know, work is stressful and I'm just anxious all the time. So I got on these pills and guess what? They made me hungry. I was eating all the time.

Yeah, Yeah, I was just eating.

Yeah, that was just like, Is that the solution to just. I gained like 40 pounds, lethargic, and.

Have the energy to do nothing.

Food was so good though. Like, it was just. I Was eating.

Why do that when you can just.

Go smoke a blunt and get the munchies right?

I'd rather do that than take any pills.

Like, so when you asked me, how did that work for me? So that was my first experience. And I was just like, yo, this therapy thing is they're just gonna put you on the pill.

That's it.

So I remember.

Push that agenda. Yeah.

So I remember talking to my co worker saying, hey, you know, I was feeling bad. I was like, man, I gotta get on these pills. She's like, why are you tripping? It's like our entire department takes something. She's like, I'm like, what? She's like, yeah, everybody in our department over there takes some type of pill. Whether I'm just like, oh, this is a norm.

Like, sad.

So we have to be medicated to suppress our traumas and our challenges, whatever it is, so we could be productive for corporate America to make their bucks. Right. To. To. To utilize and leverage our, you know, human capabilities as a resource to further their, you know, their objectives.

Yeah.

So it's. It's quite a conundrum.

Interesting. It is. It's quite a conundrum, right?

Like, yeah.

But the thing is, again, how do we recognize it? How do we begin to heal? And because I don't. I really. I don't. I don't think that God just put us out there like that and just. I think he. He brings those things into our life, the things that we need. He.

I thought it was a she. Oh, okay. Keep my back.

He.

Them. Oh, is he gender neutral? No gender at all.

Here we go. Here we go.

Is it binary or non. Binary. Okay. What? Bad. I'm just.

Wow.

I'm just saying. I remember my son came up to me the other day, was like, dad, there are 79 genders. I'm like, what? What do you mean, 79 genders? I'm like, there was male, female, then what else is there? 79.

I can't. I can't. I don't even want.

But they're actually keeping count. We're 79 now. But anyways, my bad. That's.

Yeah, okay. Just like, why? Like, why? Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. I think. I think, you know, those things come to come in our path, our life path, to, you know, whether they be relationships, whether you just. Just meeting people.

Yeah.

To remind you. Or just to bring those things into fruition.

Yeah. I mean, it's.

You got to pay attention, though. You got to know it and you got it, like, not be so hard to be critiqued. Like, listen to some critiques from other people sometimes. Sometimes people don't like to hear what's wrong with them.

Correct.

You know, it's like they feel like it's an attack. Like, yeah, you got. You got. You got problems listening. You know, I said, okay, maybe I do. Maybe I do. Maybe I need to, you know, work on that.

So you think it's a trauma that has people on edge to where they're just, like, antsy all the time. It's like defense. You have these. Exactly. You have these unresolved things. So you. It's almost like you're constant. Constant battle with things, with yourself. With yourself.

That's the worst. That's the worst.

So it's like every little thing is like, you know, triggering something.

And we got to be patient. Patient with ourselves, impatient with other people. Because I'm learning that every day. Like.

Right.

Sometime I just really just want to, like, look, I can't deal with you. I'd rather just not. But then it's like, no, because you could be hard to deal with, too. Right. And you don't want people to give up on you. Like, you have moments. Everybody have moments. Be understanding.

Yeah. You know, I know. Especially as a. As a man, you know, when I lost my father when I was 15, you know, there was this thing of, you're tough. You're a football player. So men don't cry.

Right.

People die every day. Right. Just. Just be strong. But it's like, damn, my daddy just died, though.

Like.

Right.

A lot of people are insensitive to things like what has happened to us. Like, we don't. Yeah, we're just very insensitive. Like, oh, that. Like you said, it happens every day.

Yeah. So it's like, you know, I'm taught to suppress, just not feel it, not process it. Then I go through life, and it's like, people wonder why I'm snapping. Right. And because Sprint won't fix my phone. And now I'm in a Sprint store just living, about to go, first of all, about to go ham.

Is there even a sprint anymore?

Damn.

I'm just saying let's. Let's stay with the times.

Damn. Oh, yeah. This is a knock on me.

We ain't gonna go there. Wow. Yeah. See, you stuck in Sprint time. So your trauma date back.

Yo, I'm. Exactly.

I'm just trying to get you caught back up.

I'm still at Sprint.

See, that's why I'm here. See, I was here to Help remind you that. Yeah.

Starting to move forward, huh?

But the funny thing is that it was Sprint. It was always Sprint. Sprint. All. You always on the phone with Sprint, right? Yes, I remember my phone didn't work. They're like, I was with Sprint. Like, oh, my God, I'm on the phone for hours with sprint.

They're like $500. I'm like, I just bought this phone last week. Right.

But yeah, yeah, we got to be patient. We got to be patient, and we got to. Yeah, we got to be able to communicate and. And. And. And help our fellow people out, you know?

Yeah. You know, and then the thing with therapy as well, right. You know, people talk about therapy.

People don't.

Like, not only do we like, but it's super expensive.

It's very.

Everything.

All the essentials.

Be like $150 a week.

All the essentials.

200 or $200 a week. I'm like, yo, like $200. So every time I need help because I can't cope, I gotta drop 200 or more.

Yeah.

At least when I drop. Get an ounce, I could use it every day.

There you go.

At least I got access to it every day.

I was like, I'd rather put my money there. Like, at least I know what that's gonna do. I don't know what this therapist is gonna do. Just listen to my problems and take my money.

But, yeah, it's like, you know, sitting down and just talking like, you know, it's like the Sopranos, Right? You know, I could talk about all my problems, but I'm still Go out and kill people. Right. You know, saying like, it's. Yeah, it's very profound. You're right. It's like, how do we find a solution for. Especially for a group of people that have been. Not only are being traumatized in this incarnation. Right. But you're dealing with past lives or past trauma from your ancestors, right?

Yeah.

I'm like, screw 40 acres on a mule.

Right.

Give me peace of mind.

Right. That is profound right there.

Right. No, for real, like, I just want to have. Be at peace.

I just want to be at peace.

Like, I want to just be normal to where I could just get up and feel good and just dance every day and just, you know, like, you know, and not have this cloud over my head. Right.

I just.

I just want that.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

And it's a beautiful thing is when I see my children, I see. Especially my younger ones, I see them have that, you know, they can. They're smiling, they're Laughing. It's like they cry and laugh in the same instance. Right. It's such a beauty. Right. So it's like, I want. I want that. I want to regain that.

Yeah, right, yeah.

So psychotomy, what is the plan? What is the process?

I think that's one of the reasons for this platform and conscious intercourse. That's why. That's why we're here. We want to talk about it. We want to help people acknowledge it first so they can begin to like. Like just go process it.

Correct.

You know, because these things people just don't talk about.

Correct. Even we. You know, one of our previous shows when we talked about infidelity or monogamy versus polygamy, whatever. Right. I thought, started thinking to myself, I'm like, could the reason that why certain people can't be faithful in relationships be. Be due to trauma? Be due to some, you know, imbalance that they're seeking to solve externally by some. Some type of external satisfaction? Could it be trauma related? Right.

Cuz you're looking for everybody to fix you.

Yeah.

Oh, you can't fix this. All right, let me move on.

Exactly.

Right? Oh, you have to fix you. You have to first acknowledge what the problem is.

Correct.

And then you have to fix. You meditate, you know, the M word, meditation, you know, meditation, man. Meditation. You'd be surprised. You know, the things that you can. That you can comprehend when you pr. When you meditate.

It's like being with yourself. Right?

Yeah.

And it's like the hardest thing to do in silence. Just.

And still.

Sit still and be silent. No music, no tv. Right. No talking, no phone, no light. Just darkness.

Yeah. However you meditate, you don't have to be in the dark.

Yes, you do.

Okay.

Your eyes have to be closed. So you gotta be the dark.

Okay. Your eyes. Okay. Yeah.

Close your eyes. You're in the dark.

You can close. You closing your eyes.

Definitely in a place of void. Right, Right.

You know, closing your eyes. But you don't have to be in a dark room or you can be outside in the sunlight and whatever. You just have to find your peace.

Correct.

You have to find your peace.

Yeah, yeah. Meditation.

I like to meditate in the tub. Oh, I love the tub. Like, it's a very relaxing place where you're not doing anything but relaxing. Right. And, you know, no one's gonna come in and disturb you or hopefully not.

Yeah.

You have your time and it's like. And water. I don't know. Something about water.

Yeah.

I don't know what it. I Love water. I just.

Yeah, that's what Bruce Lee said.

Comforting.

Must be like water, my friend. Yes, water.

You know, be like water. Exactly.

Yeah.

But, yeah, find your meditation place. Fine. Where you can really relax and just block out everything. Because if you can really find it, you can meditate with chaos going around you.

So true.

Really, that's. That's how. That's, you know, you have to.

Those are. Those are advanced meditators.

Yeah. Yeah, but that's self control. To be able to block all those things out and, you know, just.

Actually just breathing.

Right.

Starting with that.

Breathing. Just breathing.

Right.

Breathing.

Just when you're feeling it, just pause and just.

That is.

Yeah. Every.

Those things that we take for granted, the simplest things, but breathing. Oh, man. Especially in times where you want to snap about things like.

Like this mofo.

Yeah, breathing helps, but that's what meditation is too.

Yeah.

If, you know, finding your breathing pattern and. And then seeing what's on your mind when you. When you just have that and you have your piece, what's. What's the first thing that comes to mind? Yeah.

It seems like this is. Everybody should be doing this. Like, meditation should be taught in schools.

In churches, like, before class even start work.

Right. Literally, like, everyone, like whatever you're doing, whether you're going to school, you're going to church, you're going to work. Like, your first hour should just be meditation. Right. Because I think we all need that. Just that.

Because you should do that at home. Do that before you come to work. We ain't got time for that.

Nah, but it's like. But I'm trying to rush to get here on time so you don't fire me.

Right. Right.

Then I have more problems. Right?

Yeah. They're not gonna do that.

Or, you know, try to, you know, try to avoid traffic because if you meditate, you miss that little window. Your commute turns from 30 minutes to two hours.

Yeah.

Right. That was the craziest thing I remember. I would leave five minutes later, my commute go from 30 minutes to two hours. Stuff was crazy.

Yeah. The difference five minutes can make.

Right? So. Yeah. Being able to have that time, that peace, that. That state of calm and tranquil tranquility.

Right.

So critical because we're always moving hustle and bustle a million miles per hour. Right? From the time you wake up to the time you go to bed. Right. You either are listening to somebody driving somewhere, and then you get home, you want to turn on your tv, your game, your soap, whatever.

Right. You know, and it's Transferable. Like people energy. Energy is transferable. So if you don't deal with that, you. You spreading it. You spreading that, that energy to everybody around you. Now, now, now you in the funk now. Everybody in the funk.

That's deep. Actually, I should talk about.

That's real, though. Like, you don't want to do that. Like, don't, please. That's like, don't come mess my energy up because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. You dealing with. I don't want to feel that. But you instantly do. Like, we just do.

We transfer it, right?

It's very transferable. So we gotta deal with that, man. We got to take time. Like, you know, people get sick leave. That's. That's. That's a sickness. Deal with it. Take time off for work.

Actually, you just brought up a very, very, very, very key point just now. Sickness, right?

Sickness. Mental.

So trauma in this, you know, we've identified what trauma is. We identify how it impacts, you know, our daily lives. You know, how it throws off. Throws us off balance, off kilter, where we, you know, have challenges just functioning without. With a state of peace, right? With a state of, you know, tranquility. Because we're always on edge about something because we've unresolved trauma. It's like we've suppressed it, and it's like it's trying to come out. Like the energy is trapped because you suppressed it. So it's coming. It's trying to come out one way or another, right? Some people it's, you know, suppress it more with alcohol, whatever, tv, you know, whatever we're continuously suppressing, but it's trying to come out, right? And eventually, if it doesn't come out, it makes you sick.

Makes you sick.

It turns into disease.

Exactly.

Right? So that is something that is very, very important for us to acknowledge that unresolved trauma actually will kill us.

You heard. You hear all the time. Stress kills, stress kills, stress kills. And that's just one thing. Then you piling up trauma because it's like, you ain't dealt with that one trauma. Now you get. You. Then this other trauma hits that. You dealing with that on top of that. So we all messed up out here. Wow. Right, Right. And the people who are in denial be the worst ones, right? I mean. I mean, not. Not, you know, some traumas are, you know, more than others.

But yeah, you know, you walk on people's houses and they got a full bar in their basement. I'm like, all right, why do you have 14 bottles of Hennessy sir. Right, all right, all right.

I feel it today.

Damn.

I'm just saying now I'm mess with Hennessy Hindo or Remy, whatever it is, right?

Jameson or something. Like, why do you have 14 bottles of Jameson in your basement, son? Like, really? 14 bottles, man? You want to actually spent money to have four? Like, I've, I've had friends of people. I'm like, yo, come. I'm like, why do you have so much liquor?

Hey, it's like, I'd rather do that than go out and just like punch somebody. Right? Well, like, let's just take this shot.

Good point, right?

And relax. Because if not, I'm gonna snap on somebody. So do what you gotta do. But it's not healthy. It's not healthy. It's not healthy.

I heard them people in Chicago be drinking and they still going outside and doing some crazy stuff.

So you what? What about Chicago?

I said, I've heard of people in Chicago be drinking, but they still be going outside doing some pretty crazy stuff.

Ye. It's a. It's. It's alcohol abuse.

So I don't know if it actually stops people from.

That's all over the world. It's not just.

All I'm saying is I don't know if it actually stops people from going outside and punching people. Actually makes people go outside and punch people.

I mean, yeah, this is true. That's what I'm saying. It's like you, you're not fixing it. You making it worse, you know, because you're not dealing with the, the, the underlying issue here. Like, yeah, making it worse. But we got to do something about it because people are putting playing on that. These people are controlling us based on our fears and our traumas. That is, that's real fear to control.

Who's doing that, really?

They're doing that.

They're using fear to control them.

They're doing it. They're using fear, fear tactics. The things that we fear.

That's how they're controlling us, to retraumatizing us, right? Like how they keep coming out with these slave movies.

Oh, not the slave movies. It's like, relive this. See this again, right? Why?

Right?

It's like we're. We, we remember, we, we, we know.

Isn't this so true? Real though. Every time you watch some type of slave movie or civil rights movie, you'd be mad.

You'd be mad.

Did you see that? You'd be a hot, right? Like literally your, you know, blood pressure building up. Like you just. Your day is Just ruined.

And it's just like, okay, you don't want us to forget. All right? You gotta remind us that this is.

What we dealt with, reliving the trauma. Right.

And then it's. It's still again. It's fear.

Yeah.

You know, don't nobody want to go through that trauma again.

Nah, that is, you know, it's putting you, setting you back, taking you back to that place where it hurts and you feel helpless. Right. In this, you know, you wallow in despair, you know, and you ultimately then resolve to figuring out how to, you know, suppress it some more.

We can't suppress it. We got to talk about it. We got to keep talking about it and keep having a conscious intercourse.

Yeah, well, conscious intercourse is. Is one way, you know, it's one way to make sure that we, you know, we bring up the conversation, we discuss it and find some solutions.

Yeah. Think of more solutions.

Exactly right.

We going to be right back.

Yeah. Bills. Right.

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Mental health awareness. Let's make our mental health a priority. This is Dr. S and you're listening to Power 108.9.

Mental health.

Mental health.

So critical, you know, to our well being.

It's so, so, so critical.

You know, you brought up fear. You know, I really want to delve into fear.

Yeah.

Because fear is such a man. I'm even looking for the word. It's, it's a, is it a tool? It's, it can, it's been, it's been.

Used against us, our own fears. Yeah, it's been used.

Fear is such a man.

Cuz one thing you know, when you deal with trauma, this one thing you do know is that you don't want to deal with it again.

Right, exactly.

So you like, okay, whatever happened, whatever caused that, I want to avoid it at all, all costs.

Correct.

So you, you, you, you shut down.

Exactly.

You shut down, you stop communicating, you stop being open with people. And you know, then you develop fear.

Yeah. Like constant fear. Because it's that trauma that's unresolved. Right? Like you said, it's unresolved, so it's suppressed. So it's always in your conscious. Always, you know, in your subconscious mind. So every little thing is a trigger. Right. So the fear tactics, whether it's the fear of poverty, fear of the lack of love, fear of death, like it's, we become these people that are constantly operating in a state of fear.

Yeah.

So therefore we are unable to reach our full potential, you know, to even earn a living, to even be creative. Because we're always in fear.

And that's what, that's how they're using it against us, you know?

Yes, exactly. So you're traumatized, you can't afford therapy, but you still got to go to work because if you don't go to work, then you're out on the streets, Right. So because some people's trauma has been, you know, poverty related. You know, people have, you know, traumatic experiences of being evicted as children. I have a friend of mine used to tell me how he came home from school one day and all their stuff was on the curb. Right. So imagine being a six year old getting off the bus and seeing, you know, your stuff, your bed on the curb. You can't go inside of the house. That's traumatic. Right. So then you resort to selling dope because you'd never want this to happen again because of the fear of reliving that same trauma. So now you're doing whatever, whether it's selling dope, whether it's, you know, selling. Robbing people, selling yourself. Right.

Yeah.

So you find yourself in this perpetual state of fear and doing things to avoid reliving whatever that thing. Operating constant state of fear. So that is what, you know, if we look at our world today, we notice that that is very common in every facet of life, every walk of life.

Yep.

Or then you, you know, you. And then you don't like working because you, you know, that's what you got to do to play, pay your bills. And then you find yourself of, you know, living for Saturday and Sunday.

Yeah.

So you could go in the club and turn up. Right. And drink your life away and twerk.

Your life away and your check away.

Exactly right.

Your hard earned money.

And then you put yourself in the same place that you're trying to avoid in the first place.

Exactly right. Exactly.

So it's like it's this never ending hamster wheel of reliving the same thing over. It's Groundhog Day. Right. It's like reliving the same nightmare over and over and over and over and over. So you're insane because insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Right. So you're essential. So we have where people are walking. We are walking insane right now. And we wonder why people are doing this crazy. Whatever you call it. Right. It's the product of our environment, which is fear based.

Yeah.

Right. So we have to acknowledge that and understand how fear impacts us and how it limits us and how it literally. It destroys us.

Yeah. Tap into your power.

Exactly right. So we have to recognize that and realize that the things that are happening to us, by us, to ourselves, are grounded in fear. And it seems like every major organization from religion to business to government to schools, utilize some type of a fear tactic to control. Like you said, control us. So that is a major concern, major issue that we must address.

Yep.

But we have. We first have to identify and recognize. Exactly right.

Exactly.

That's why this dialogue is so critical, because we have to point this thing. We have to identify the elephant in the room. There's that elephant in that corner. We see it, it's big, it's orange.

And we got to get to our youth, get to the children.

Yeah.

You know, that's that's, that's who we have to, to. We have to influence and let. And, and remind them of their power.

Correct.

You know, and you know that it doesn't stop that, you know, with their trauma. It, you know. Yes. Life goes on. You have to recognize, you have to heal. But this is not the end all, be all.

Yeah.

You know, cuz we didn't have those examples, right?

No, we did not.

We did not have those examples. So we saw our parents stress.

Yeah.

And it's like, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna figure it out.

Yeah. No, it's like we're in this constant, you know, flight or fight or hide mode. Right. Constantly. We're just in constant stress. Right. And our bodies are not equipped to sustain that for long periods of time. Right. We're made to, you know, recognize danger and for short periods of time, you know, utilize our adrenaline and the body's natural reactions to flee or fight or you know, hide from that danger until, you know, it passes on and you're back to being yourself.

But you're, but it's always in front of us. You see the news, the media, you see it all the, you know.

Exactly. It's like that. But it's like that rush, that adrenaline rush that you feel when you feel danger. It's only because like every, it's almost like, like you're running a hundred mile per hour race with your body now. You're exerting every sense of energy that you have because you're trying to escape this danger, this looming danger. But your body doesn't recognize the difference between when you are in danger of running from a line versus when you're just stressed, afraid of being evicted. Your body operates like, recognizes that fear the same way. So your adrenaline rush, your rushes, you know, your, your hormones are, you know, accentuated. Right. But then you can. You stay in the state continuously for days on in, days on out.

And that's how you cough, that's how you get sick.

Exactly.

Break the body down.

Break the body down and next thing you know, where you know, cancer, cancer, you know, heart attacks, strokes. Right. Because we're. Your body just taps out. Right. Because it's like, I can't do this anymore. I can't keep running from a lion every single day. Everything like non stop.

I'm running real right there. Yeah, yeah. And it's, and it's the norm for some people. It's like, oh, this is, this is my life. This is how I live.

Yeah, it is. But then, you know, you wonder why they have cancer or heart attack, you know, at 40 or 50, you know, 60, you know, it's some. So many of our people are dying, dying at young ages, you know, because of this constant state of fear. So it's like, how do we overcome? How do we annihilate fear? How do we overcome fear?

That's a good question. That's a good question.

You know.

And then seeking consciousness and. And. And find some kind of spiritual. Oh, you know, tapping into your spiritual self. Just. Just trying to block out all outside sources, you know, all the noise.

Meditation, huh?

And.

And that's when we go back to meditation.

Yeah. Yeah, it's very powerful. Meditation is very, very powerful.

Yeah.

A lot of people don't do it. Like, I ain't got time for that. You ain't got time to meditate, Right.

It's also acknowledging that, you know, we are so powerful beings, such powerful beings, right? You know, we've accomplished so much, you know, as a people. And later we have these things that just. Just jump in the sky and just fly from miles away, right? Like we have these big birds, these metal birds, literally, that we can hop on and go from one continent to another. Like, we did that. You know, it's like, we're so powerful, we can accomplish so much to allow, you know, little things such as fear take over our lives. Right? Yes. I say little because. Yeah, give. There is, you know, so many. So many opportunities to better ourselves. There are so many tools. Like, you brought up meditation, right? You brought up spirituality. Tap it into your higher self, your consciousness. You know, personally, I've had to recognize the fear and how it was impacting my life. And one of the things that I did is really incorporate mindfulness and meditate into my daily routine as I learned about meditation. So I started searching, right? Because ultimately we gotta find out what works for ourselves, right? I was in such of us. I was in a. Such a state of constant fear at one point in my life that I started searching for just something, a solution to overcome fear, right? And I started reading a lot of different books. I started watching a lot of documentaries. You know, I started doing all these things to get some information because therapy wasn't working. And I came across several books that were hinting at meditation.

So you was. You was looking for something that just resonated with you. Like you just going, you know, a lot of information being thrown, but something that clicked, something that felt. Felt right.

Felt right.

Exactly right.

So I came across something and it, you know, it talked about meditation. And mindfulness, Right. And how you essentially calm the world around you, reduce your thoughts. Because apparently we, you know, we process like 60, 70,000. 60 to 70,000 thoughts per day. That's a lot of thoughts, but a lot of them are fear induced to fear related. So the ability to meditate and reduce those thoughts allows you to achieve a state of peace, of tranquility to where you realize that there's really nothing to fear but fear itself. Right? Because when you sit in a. In a dark place, right. And you're meditating, you then realize that none of this stuff actually even matters. Right. The worst that could happen to you is die. For some people, that's not the worst thing. It's like, yo, really, Right? Everything that I'm dealing with, like, that's not the worst thing, right.

That's not a good state to be in.

It's not a good state to be in. But it's reality, right?

Yeah. It's a sad reality, but when you.

Sit down and you're meditating and you, you, you actually face that fear of the what the worst could be, right. You then realize that, you know what? There's really nothing to fear.

People need to learn how to meditate like people should. There should be a meditation class, like, to learn how to meditate. Because people just don't know how to do that. Correct. And people always compare, even with their spirituality. So many people compare it to how everybody else does it.

Correct.

You have to find what works for you.

Correct. Right. Even just when you brought up spirituality as well. Right. So the other thing I started doing is studying all these different religions, Right? Because at one point in time, you know, it was the fact that there was this fear tactic of going to hell, right?

Like, literally, you're going to hell.

Every you do anything, you're going to hell, right? You know, you dance. I remember I grew up in a very.

You twerk, you going to hell.

I grew up in such a strict church, you couldn't even go swimming.

Yeah.

You would go to hell.

Right?

You know?

Yeah. So even, Even. That's. That's the thing. You got to find what works for you because. Exactly. Religion. When I say spirituality, it's not always religion. Don't. It's like, don't get that confused.

Correct.

People connect spirituality with religion, but it does not have to be religion. You have to find God within.

Exactly.

You have to.

Exactly. Because I grew up feeling like Bobby Boucher, right. Afraid everything was the devil. Right. Because that's what mama said.

That's what mama said. My mama said.

Right. You know, I got the Bobby Boucher syndrome. But fear has become the thing. Right?

Right.

We must learn how to overcome fear. That I think, has become the most intricate, you know, almost like agenda for us as a people to overcome fear.

It sounds so easy, but it's the hardest thing to do.

It's very challenging. Right. But personally, I think through meditation, through the understanding that I am a spiritual being, you know, that is invincible, that is omnipotent, omniscient. Right. Because every religion talks about how we are these versions of God. Right. Manifestations of God or creations of God or God making us in his image. Right. So we are God ourselves.

Exactly. Finding that guy.

Most of us grew up. Yeah. Most of us grew up on Christ. Christ himself said to us, it's like, doesn't the laws and the prophets teach you that you are Gods? He said that to us in the scriptures. But nobody wants to talk about that.

No. Because nobody is talking about that. You're not. You're not getting those affirmations in your home.

Exactly.

Your parents are not even telling you they love you. You're beautiful, you're strong. You're. You can do anything. You're not getting those affirmations.

Correct.

And the world's not giving them to you.

Exactly.

So it starts at home.

Yeah. Christ said all these things that I've done. You should do even greater. He said these things.

Yeah.

Right. But nobody's talking about these things. You know, Ashley says fear is not of God, it's of the devil. I mean, this is all in the scriptures. I'm not making this up.

All right, so it's.

But it's like we. We're in constant state of. We operate in constant state of fear. We understand. Yes. These trauma. Right. We have to figure out ways to resolve trauma. Right. And really, it's processing.

It's processing it because trauma is going to happen because you can't avoid these.

Yeah. Because these emotions, as we suppress them, are trapped in our body and then cause these issues. So we must process trauma. You must cry. You got away.

You know, Got to let it out.

You know, when I lost, you know, my spouse, you know, a couple years ago, I cried. I wailed like a baby because I was not gonna hold that in. I realized that I wasn't strong enough to keep that in. So wailing, you know, being free to express your emotions is one of also. That is one of the best ways to deal with trauma, to resolve it.

And that sounds so easy, right?

Yes. But we just got to Learn to cry. It's okay to cry.

And even before it gets to that, if you, if you, if you. If you must cry, cry. But talk, which is going to result.

To crying because you're going to relive.

It, let it out. Like, that's the thing. People don't know how to talk and express themselves, express their emotions, talk.

If you feel it, talk, bring it up.

Yeah. Or even feel in a. In a. In a safe, safe, comfortable place to do so, you know, without being judged. Like, people just. Rather just hold it in. And that's not. That's just unhealthy.

Yeah. We got to find safe places, right?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, whatever. Who you should. Whatever you share won't be used against you.

Yeah, exactly.

Criticized.

That's why you got toxic masculinity. Like you say, men can't. Men shouldn't cry. Men, you know, and you got these children, these young men growing up, you know, feeling like, oh, I can't cry. I'm not supposed to talk about my emotions. I'm not, you know, my feelings. It's just feelings in itself. Like, the word feelings is like, you.

Saw, you're in your feelings. Right. Because being your feelings is being soft.

Yeah.

You know, you acted like a female.

Yeah.

Because you're your feeling.

And I, you know, I was in a relationship when I remember I would say the word feelings, and it's like, up. There you go with that word. Like, I'm not supposed to have feelings. I'm not supposed to make decisions based off of feelings. Like, that's not. That doesn't even make sense to me.

Exactly.

But they could have been, you know, projecting that onto me.

Exactly.

You know, and I look at things like that, like, okay, maybe you have a problem expressing your feelings.

Exactly.

And you've been told that, you know, you're not. You got to take your feelings out of things, and you're pushing that on me.

And you.

And you. You have to recognize that. Because people project all the time.

Correct. And it's all from fear.

It's fear. Exactly.

Afraid of something. Right. So overcoming fear is definitely reiterating. Again, probably the most important takeaway from this conversation is that we must overcome fear. And, you know, I shared with you, you know, earlier that I. One of the things that helped me is meditation. Utilizing meditation to manifest. Right. My reality. Because one of the things about fear is that it's false evidence appearing real. Right. So recognizing that whatever's going on in your head is not even.

It's not even real. Right.

Right. Because you tell yourself these stories about, oh, my God, like, you know, I'm gonna get fired, I'm gonna lose, you know, my house. I mean, the children gonna be evicted on the streets. Like, you will literally go through these stories.

But the thing is, you make them reality. Because that's the thing. You're constantly thinking of these things. You're fearing anything, and now you're going to manifest them.

Exactly. So now we have to learn to counter those thought patterns.

Right.

And replacing them with positive thoughts.

Exactly.

That's the. That's. To me, the best way to overcome fear.

Yeah.

Is to recognize being aware of it. Like, oh, snap. Okay. This is a fear thought. Right. Because that's the one thing we could begin to take control.

Yeah.

Is our thoughts.

Yeah.

Because you're like, okay, this thing is fear. It's not even real. Right. It's almost like you ever been high and you be. You tripping and you'd be like, okay, you're tripping. You're high right now. You ever had that converse, that pep talk with yourself? You'd be like, yo, tripping, you hot right now. Tweaking right now. Right. It's kind of like the same thing.

Yeah.

You know, like, yo, you're like, you're making up all these stories and they will, you know, they return your mood. Next thing, you're upset with your children, you're upset with your spouse, because you're in your head about all these things.

It's like we. We naturally think of what can go wrong.

Exactly. We default there because this is the unresolved traumas, unresolved issues related to fear and past experiences that stunts our growth.

You're afraid to move forward. You're afraid to jump and take that leap of faith.

Correct.

Right. Because faith, faith.

So faith leads to love.

Right. But. But believing in the unknown, you don't know, but you got that. You. You know.

Yeah. The unknown is actually great because that's the place where you create the future that you desire. Right. You know, it's like people more comfortable in unknown hell than an unknown heaven.

Yeah.

Right.

Because that's all they like.

You're comfortable with a known hell. You know, this is hell.

Right.

You know it.

But it's like, I'd rather stay here. At least I know what's gonna happen.

Exactly. Right. Like instead of, you know, you know, committing yourself to an unknown heaven. Right. So it's recognizing what has happened to us, recognizing being real with the trauma, acknowledging that this happened. But we no longer have to relive the past. Because as you relive the past of that trauma, you actually are recreating it.

Yeah.

So we have to do our best to process the trauma and then seal it and leave it in the past and then counter all your fear emotions or fear thoughts with the opposite. Right. A lot of times, you know, we think that the opposite of fear is being safe. It's really not. For at least what I've learned, the opposite of fear is love.

Right.

So everything's either that's everything that's counter love is fear based. Right. Trauma, hate. Right. Hate is a, is a fear, you know, byproduct. Anything that you could think of negative is a fear by pro byproduct. And everything you could think of as positive is a love byproduct. So we have to consciously recognize the fear thoughts, the fear mentalities, the fear emotions, and in a moment catch them and replace them with loving emotions. Right. Because if you're fearing eviction, that means you're thinking about fear. Your thoughts are based in fear. So replace that with I'm gonna have this amazing job or I got money. Right. Or start this business. Right. Think about those thoughts. That's going to counter your problem.

Exactly.

Because a lot of times we're so fear solution of fear oriented that we continue to create that. So we have to counter that and choose love. And the things that. Because love is anything that's good for you, like a new job, a new career, a new business. Right. Unlimited health and wealth. Right. Start thinking about how you. Your dream life like dream again. So that's the thing. As children, we dream. We want to be this, that, and the other ones grow up, dream again. Your dreams are your best friend. That's the place where magic happens and love is abundant and bountiful, right?

Yes, indeed.

Choose love.

Choose love. So that's the message here, right?

Choose love. So because in every, in every decision that you make in life, you have two options. Make a decision from fear or make decision from love. We ask that you choose love each and every time.

Yes. Profound.

There it is.

There it is.

Conscious intercourse, right?

Indeed. Indeed.

We're making love today.

We're choosing love. Oh, men.

Men, Right?

But yes, let's. Let's talk about it. Let's. Let's find these safe places to. To express these emotions. You know, let's be around people that make you feel, feel safe to be that person. You know, keep those people around you, keep spreading love. Be in love and light, peace.