A creator on a dopamine detox describes how his living situation with self-destructive people kills his motivation to make videos. He's read Unscripted by MJ DeMarco, feels lonely without ambitious friends, and wants to build a community of people actually trying to improve.
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Now look, what's good y'all? Hope y'all doing good and everything. Um, now in this video, bro, I'm just gonna rant, to be honest. I'm just gonna rant. I don't really care. I'm just gonna upload this video like this. I'm not gonna edit anything. I'm not gonna put any thumbnail. Now look, bro, I'm dealing— I'm sort of like dealing with this sort of like problem that like annoys me, like annoys me so much. And yeah, I might— in this video I might talk with my ego, I might maybe even insult people. But look, what you gotta understand is like, when you are on your self-improvement journey and you're not— you're killing like all the distractions, you have no distractions. For me, for example, I'm on dopamine detox. I've tried dopamine detox, you know, uh maybe a year ago. Now I'm on like even strict, more strict dopamine detox. Uh, you know, I'm really just really dedicating my life to just my future self. That's what I'm doing. I'm just dedicating my life so in the future I can live good. I can be, you know, just pretty much I want to improve so I can reap my rewards, so I can enjoy what I do while trying to enjoy what I'm doing currently. But the thing is, like, bro, not everyone has the same mindset. Not everyone has. But it's hard because, like, currently, like, I'm not gonna say any names or anything, but currently I live, like, with someone, or let's say this environment, okay, in my house, or like, not my house, but you know where I live. And, bro, and I know it's the fuck out of me, like, bro, I can't explain. Like, bro, when you are really just with no distraction, doing nothing, you're not watching Netflix every time, every time you have free time, bro, you just— I don't know, bro, you just, you, you really see things. You really see things and you get sort of like, you're sort of like way too mindful. You're too mindful of everything. So You know me and plenty of— I know plenty of the people, we don't like hearing, like, for example, TV. We don't like hearing the news. Me, bro, I hate hearing the news, bro. I'm not gonna lie, I hate hearing the news. And guess what? I hear the news every single day. Every single day, bro. Not a day goes by and I don't— yeah, maybe one day, bro. Like, there was like one day where I didn't her TV, and it was yesterday. That's how I realized that my environment keeps me like stuck, bro. I mean, I cannot just blame anyone or anything. I'm not, I'm not gonna be dumb and be like, oh yeah, this person is, is doing the wrong thing and I'm doing the right thing. No, bro, I'm still mindful that I can be fucked up. And I mean, not fucked up, but I can be wrong and I can be not in the good in a good, um, I can be saying some dumb stuff because maybe one year from now watching this video I might be like, bro, I'm just saying like dumb stuff and I don't know what I'm talking about. But bro, okay, yesterday was a day where let's say this environment didn't exist, okay, where I didn't hear TV, I didn't do anything, the sun— I mean, I didn't do anything. Oh, I was just with my mom chilling and she's not there often, so I was just with my mom chilling with the recipes and everything. The sun was shining, uh, I was fasting. It was good, bro. It was a good— it was like, it was literally one of the best day I've had, like, literally, bro. The thing that sort of like keeps me stuck is, you know, when you're just around people that are not on the same frequency or are not like— we don't have the same interest in sort of like improving their life in general. The problem is these people, they have their self-destructive habits and it's around you 24/7. It's like, imagine if you're a bodybuilder, right? But you just, you go like, so I don't know, like, but you go, I don't know, you hang around runners, but you want to hang around people that build muscles. You don't want to hang around runners. You don't want to hang around people that just walk every day. You or that just sit on a couch every day. You want to hang around people that, you know, do things that to improve their physique and everything. But it's the same, like, bro, it's the same. Like, me, I'm the total opposite of— no, I'm not gonna brag like this, but I'm gonna say I'm a total opposite of self-destructive habits. I just do everything in my favor, but I have so much free time just to think And that's how I think I made so much progress. I have so much time to go in nature. I have so much time to do this and that. I don't have a job. I don't want to go to school. I really took a break. But the break is like with COVID and stuff, like, bro, you just see that you just have the same routine every day. It's not my routine that fucks me up, it's just routine of people around me. And it's just one person that's the, that's the problem. It's the person that is around me 24/7. Plus I don't have a good relationship with that person. You know, I'm not gonna say any names, I'm not gonna say who he is or anything, but the problem is like, bro, you should— bro, it just fucks me up because even this YouTube stuff, even everything, I don't even want to do anything, bro. Like, literally the only thing I wanted to do was like reading mangas, literally. And usually I'm so motivated, I lost motivation to help people on YouTube. Now I'm gaining it back, like, a bit, a bit. But now guess what happens? I'm just— so every time I record a YouTube video, I just think about, like, the sort of environment, bro, and that keeps you fucked up. I remember reading a book by Andrew DeMarco called Unscripted, probably my favorite book, and he said, like, this might be controversial, but he said, like, when someone follows his passion but he gets sort of like bad experience, he's gonna hate his passion. He's gonna not gonna follow his passion anymore. He's gonna despise it. Like, he's not gonna like doing what he was passionate about. And I don't want to end— I don't want to end like in the same thing. I don't want to, bro. Ever since I was a kid, I was— I remember watching Jelly, CobbleCup, Songman, all these, uh, gaming YouTubers. And I was like, bro, I'm gonna be a YouTuber with millions of subs. I'm gonna have, I'm gonna have my own, um, my own sort of like set up my own YouTube channel and everything. But now it's like, bro, you just lose all your motivation and sort of like reason why when you just have a bad environment. It's, it's simple, but it's true, bro. You gotta realize, I know it's my fault that I should Yeah, I can go and get a job and just go live somewhere else, but that will be dumb, but at the same time will be smart. So, but I'm just thinking, bro, I'm just thinking, bro, because having a root— like, being around people that have the same routine every day, that do the same self-destructive habits every day at the same time, keeps your mind fucked, like freaking fucked up, bro. It keeps your mind just with negative thoughts 24/7. I almost, almost want to go back to the times where I was just playing video games because those times, like, I didn't worry. No, I'm not gonna go back to play video games because I've made so much progress and my life is way better ever since I'm on self-improvement. But think about, like, going back to video games. At least I have some people to talk to, and, you know, I don't It's like, I don't know, because at the same time, bro, I never had any friends. I haven't had any friends. It's a blessing, but it's a curse at the same time because I had like one good friend. I'm lying, I had one good friend, okay? I had one good friend. It was like, it was like, bro, it was like 6 years ago. We haven't like— we played Minecraft last time. Yeah, it was, uh, it was a friend in real life, but last time I met him, we just played Minecraft. Like, uh, no, not even in real life. And the thing is, like, bro, you just— when you don't have a sort of like social circle where people are on the same frequency, it's like, I don't know, but when people just do the opposite of what you do, it's like, first of all, it influences you because, bro, you just see it every day, so you want to do the same thing. You know, I realized myself, people told me don't go, don't go outside, it's too cold. And I started not going outside just because of this. I realized myself when I'm someone who goes outside even if it's cold, if it— even if it's not. So I really gotta think, bro, because, bro, it just— I hope like some people can relate to this because, bro, I, I might need some, some help. Because look, like, you— everything I do, it's like I just do it for my future self. I don't have like a big reason why or a purpose because every time I do things, I just think about the environment. I just think about— I think what I'm thinking about right now, just like, I want to sort of like have my habits and my actions to be like sort of like use my time wisely so my future self can be proud and my future self can reap off the rewards. So when I live lonely, I can do like whatever I want. I'm not saying live lonely just by myself, but I'm saying like not live here. Not live in a toxic environment. But this city is trash as fuck. Like, I'm still someone who's grateful. I say I'm grateful every day. I'm grateful for the foods. I'm grateful for, you know, the fresh— like, I don't know, bro. We get like— we get some really good food. I mean, really good food in terms of, uh, quality. We get like— but I'm very grateful. Like, I can go anywhere, but I can't do anything. No, no, well, I must stop talking, but The thing is, like, when you do things in a toxic environment— I'll call it like this— toxic environment or negative environment, you don't have, like, sort of, like, you lose things. You lose your passion for something. You don't, you don't lose it internally, but you lose it for the moment. Just think about if you love basketball, right? If you love basketball, but the only way you could play basketball was what? Against your enemies— not like enemies, but people you don't like, you know, bullies and everything. Would you play basketball? Would you be interested in playing basketball? Would you love playing basketball if you were just locked and you could only play with them? Yeah, the fuck no, bro. Hell the fuck no. Because it's the same, it's the same that happens to me, and maybe it happens to you. I don't know. I hope someone can relate at least, but Really, bro, I don't know what to do. I really don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm gonna make this video longer. I don't even know if I'm gonna upload it, but I feel like, bro, this society is fucked up. But it's not— it's not society's fault, it's my fault. I gotta see society different because when I was playing video games, society didn't bother me. But once you're on self-improvement and you become more knowledgeable, you become more mindful, you You start looking up things and you start really seeing like the truth behind things. You're like, it keeps your mind fucked up because you're just mindful of all these negative things, all these self-destructive habits that people do, all these actions that make people suffer and everything. You realize it and then you try to help those people, they don't give a fuck. So it keeps your mind freaking fucked up, bro. Like, this society is just going the wrong way. But I know, like, my situation right now, it's not like the worst situation, but it keeps me fucked up. But I feel like— I really feel like just— I, I genuinely feel like it's a blessing, even though it's pain. But I feel like it's a blessing because I know, like, if this didn't happen, I wouldn't be uploading on YouTube 24/7. I would be doing my habits 24/7 because I really want to just do something like travel alone, do things like this, and build a community of people that really resonate and pretty much move on the same frequency, who just are ambitious, want to go to the top, want to, you know, really take care of the body, want to do this and that, like, to improve themselves. I'm also going to probably start, like, reacting to anime and everything. Soon. But bro, like, the society is still fucked up to me. And it's the— I don't want you to think about society like this, but to me it's how I think, okay? I'm just trying to put it out. I'm just trying to like get this off my chest, to be honest. So yeah, that's it for the video. Hope y'all like it. Comment, subscribe, and like. I'm out. Peace.
