How to Bounce Back From a Porn Relapse and Stop the Cycle

You've done it again. I get it. You feel shame, you feel guilt. But the worst thing is not just the shame and the guilt or the energy you spent. It's breaking the promise. It's saying, I'm never, ever, ever going to do it ever again. Yet you did it again. I've been there before. I get it. I relate. And It's hard. I've been helping people quit permanently, not just like for a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, but leave porn and masturbation forever over the last few years. And there are 2 mistakes you probably are making. I was making myself before I left it forever that are costing you another Relapse. Let's use that word. Another relapse, another relapse, and you'll keep on relapsing if you keep on making these mistakes. Let's get into it. The first thing, okay, and you want to really apply these things because the moment you apply these things, not only will they make it easier for you to quit porn, but also you will feel confident that this time it's actually going to be different. Not just like some motivational thing of. Oh yeah, I feel like you know I'm motivated. But then after a few days, after a week, you go back to it again. No, that this time it's actually going to be different. Therefore, the shame and the guilt will disappear right now. First thing, do not put your life on pause. Please, for the sake of God. You know when you feel depressed? I feel depressed so many times in my life. You know when you face like these hardships, these challenges, and you feel like you can't do anything about it? Like let's say. You just got fired from your job or maybe you lost your business or maybe you got wronged by someone or maybe whatever, like something hard happened and you felt like you just couldn't do anything about it. It happened to me so many times and still to this day, there's so many hardships that happened to me because I put myself in risky situations. Like for example, challenges, I put pressure on myself and so on to do certain things. And I'm like, man, I don't know if I can handle this. And you know, you wake up in the morning and you're like, I think it's better for me to just keep on sleeping because this is going to be too hard. Let me just rest so I can feel better. But then if you sleep more, then you feel worse afterwards. Whatever. We're not going to go into that tangent. But when you feel depressed, you know, in the morning, the alarm goes off, it's 5 in the morning. You're like, I just want to keep on sleeping. It'll make it worse and you know it. But the moment you pick up a bit of momentum, you just say, you know what? Yes, life sucks. Yes, I have to face this challenge I really don't want to face, but I'm just going to keep on going regardless of how I feel. You start feeling better. You take your shower, maybe you go pray, maybe you go and you do work on your career or your business, your projects, and suddenly you just feel good and you're like, you feel like, okay, now I'm actually going to do something. You want to do the same exact thing. Do not just sit in your bed and just be like, oh man, it sucks. the shame and the guilt, you know, I'm not gonna go to the gym today because of that. I'm not gonna go and work today. I'm gonna just put everything on pause. That's the worst thing you can do because you will literally make it worse on yourself. You will isolate yourself even more. You will feel more lonely. You will feel more shame, more guilt. You will feel more hopeless. You will think that it will be impossible for you to quit because you're just there in your room Just feeling bad about yourself. It's not going to help. It's not going to help. But it's not just that; it's not going to help you quit. It's going to make it worse. So do not put your life on pause. The moment you just say, "Okay, yeah, I watched porn. I relapsed." But I'm gonna ask forgiveness if you're a man of faith from God. I'm gonna really be sincere in my repentance. And then life goes on. I'm just gonna move. You're not ignoring the problem, okay? You're not ignoring the problem as in like, yeah, you're just like forgetting about it so you'll make the same mistake over and over again. No, instead you're making progress in your life and that's going to help you actually quit. It's not going to be the cure, but it's going to just help you make progress in your life and also help you quit because what happens is you'll stop making the relapse such a big deal where you feel more shame, more guilt, more guilt. And you isolate yourself more. So it means you watch more porn because of those same exact things. But on top of that, you will just overall see, okay, look, porn in and of itself doesn't have that power over me. The relapse is just a decision I've made. It's not something that is like a big catastrophic event. And once you treat it like that, porn just seems little. in comparison to other things in life. And when something seems little and not powerful, it's easier for you to just tackle it because it's like, imagine for example, you think that, let's say, okay, let's say you make porn the biggest problem you have to face in your life. What happens? It becomes the thing you struggle with the most. If instead you had a bigger problem to deal with, let's say for example, you built a business and you have team members and you have employees you need to pay and it stresses you out to a certain extent because you don't know how to go about it, or maybe sometimes you need to really work hard for that, then what happens is you don't even really think of the other problems in your life. Uh, you, yes, you think of them, but it's, they're not as important. It's just like when, if you get into a car crash, you get into an accident, what happens? You don't care about anything else. You just care about like the accident that's in front of you. And that's the thing. If you make porn the center of your life, if you make quitting porn the center of your life, then it becomes the one thing you're focused on. It becomes the one thing you struggle with the most. That's why I say just move on with your life. Just do whatever you had to do for the day. Do not just sit there just reflecting like, ah man, I watched porn. And then you just feel bad for yourself and then you just ruminate. Because based on actual research, rumination, like just thinking about your problems and how like you just relapsed and so on, makes it worse. It makes you more depressed. Okay? So that's the first thing. Second thing, second thing when it comes to this is you actually want to do something different about your approach. You don't want to just be like, you know what, I went back to porn again after 7 days, after 2 weeks, after 3 weeks, after a month, maybe even after 90 days, and just repeat the same exact cycle of I go in this period of abstinence and then I relapse or I binge for like a few times during that day or For the next few days, you don't want to just repeat that because what's going to happen is you're going to like expect that it's going to become like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you keep on repeating the same exact cycle, then it's going to just you're going to think in the back of your mind unconsciously that this is what's going to happen every single time I get to this specific day. Okay, every time I get to day seven, this would what happen to me. Every time I would get to day seven, suddenly the desire would just be so much stronger. For some reason, but on day four and five, I had no desire whatsoever, and then the cycle would just keep on repeating itself. So you want to change something because in the back of your mind, if you don't change anything, then you're going to think that the same exact thing is going to happen, and it will probably because you haven't changed anything. Okay, that's that's just how it works. It's logical. Change your approach. Okay, you keep yourself busy so you don't relapse. It doesn't work. If you've been doing the same thing over and over again and it doesn't work, as the famous quote says, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. You can't just repeat the same old short-term technique of let me just keep myself busy, let me just like try to fight my thoughts, let me just try to just remove, um, porn from my mind, and just let me just be around other people. Like, you can't just repeat the same thing. People just are out there using blocks Blockers, like blockers are not the long-term solution. You want to face them. You want to go for the long-term solution. You want to try something new and buy something new. I don't mean like another short-term technique of now I'm gonna use like a rubber band. Like that doesn't work. Like really think about it. Who leaves their behavior behind long-term? Constantly using a technique to fight off the urges. Constantly having to fight the urges. You think someone leaves porn forever? To the point where he doesn't even think about it by having to fight it every single day or every single week. No, you need to go to the root cause, understand why you do it, and then learn to move on permanently. Watch my videos, understand. I have a full free course. And if you need more help when it comes to this, there's gonna be a link in the description. Book a call. You want to do something that's going to be different. You can't just repeat the same old cycle over and over again thinking, okay, this time is going to be different. You even know in the back of your mind that you told yourself that this time is going to be different so many times that you don't even trust yourself anymore. I'm not saying this to make you feel worse. I'm saying this because you need a wake-up call. I wish I had that wake-up call before. I wish I had it because the problem with porn is not just you keep on relapsing. Sure, if you're a man of faith, then that's a problem in and of itself because it's a sin and Sin also could lead to more sins and so on, but that's another topic for another day. But it's also what it's really— you don't get to live life when you're so focused on quitting porn, when you're so focused on the relapse, when you're so focused on the shame and guilt. You don't live life to the fullest. You can't have the same relationships with other people because in the back of your mind you're thinking, well, I'm, I'm hiding this habit and I feel shame about it and I feel like I'm a hypocrite or I'm living a double life. Or when it comes to business and career, you don't have the same mental energy because every time you face a hardship in your career or business or with other people, instead of facing it and solving the problem, you just go to porn because it's too much to handle. Like, the moment you remove porn, you'll have like so much more mental energy, time, so many other things. And that's what it's taking from you. Not just struggling with porn but also trying to quit porn so hard. So change your approach. Book a call, it's completely free. And with this call, you'll only get some free insights from me. And if you need more help, obviously I have a one-on-one coaching that's more intensive that really goes over how you can quit porn with my help, personal help, with one-on-one coaching, a personalized roadmap. Everything is personalized to you. So book the call and let me know If you have any questions through my Instagram, which is going to be the second link in the description. But again, do not put your life on pause and change your approach. These 2 things will literally change everything for you. You don't need anything else. You don't need another technique. You don't need anything else. It's really that simple. And I'll see you guys in the next video.