The Traits of People Who Quit Porn Successfully!

Listen, what I'm about to tell you is something you can relate to. You've probably been in this cycle where you tell yourself, now it's going to be the last time and then I'll quit forever, right? You feel motivated, you feel pumped up, but the end of the week comes, maybe even just the end of the day, and you're like, you know what, I'm just gonna do it one more time and then I'll really stop. And then you end up going back to the same exact cycle that you've been in for years. Not just like a few months or a few weeks, no, years. You have that little voice in the back of your mind that says, everyone does it, it's normal. But the other voice, the other part of you says, yeah, but I shouldn't do it, man. It's— I'm gonna feel regret, I'm gonna feel shame. And then you do it again and again, and the shame and the guilt, and you just feel so bad about yourself. You've broken that promise that you've made to yourself and you've made to God so many times. And look, I know how it feels. I was in your shoes at some point where I started at the age of 11. I didn't want to come across it, but that's what happened. And then when at 16, I found out about the concept of NoFap, and I tried my best to just quit this habit once and for all because I saw the impact that it had on my life, but I couldn't quit. And every time it's that cycle of you try your best to quit and then you relapse and you feel so much shame. And I would just isolate myself. I would just regret it and my life would be impacted as a byproduct. I had no social life. I made no progress when it comes to my goals and I just felt like a failure. So with my experience, I thought, why is it that some people, they just managed to quit successfully without even really trying and other people, they have a hard time quitting? And they still haven't left after 10 years of quitting. I still remember going on these groups, seeing people in communities just struggling for years, being in their 30s and still struggling with this after trying to quit for like 5+ years. So I thought, what are the things, what are the traits that the people that leave this habit successfully have? So in today's video, what I've done is I've put 11 traits that I've identified across the people that successfully left porn behind. for good over the last few years of me coaching hundreds of guys quitting porn. Now, as a quick disclaimer, I want to make something very clear. Some of these traits, many people including me did not have them before quitting porn forever, but rather we used the opportunity to strive towards freedom to acquire some of these traits. So if you're watching this and you're like, oh, this trait is not me, or this trait is me, look, That's not the point. The point is I want you to look at these traits, see how you can actually apply them in your life, and then reach for freedom. Reach for freedom from porn and change your life around. Look, if you want to quit porn and masturbation for good, we have a full proven system. You can click the first link in the description where it's fully anonymous. It's fully private. You can book a call with me. Nothing will be shared where we can dive deeper into your root cause and learn how you can actually quit this for good. Now back to the video. The first trait that I see people have, they no longer identify themselves as addicts. They no longer put that label on themselves that they are just powerless, that they have no more control over themselves. Look, that is the biggest trap people fall into. They think, oh, I've been watching porn for all of these years, therefore they may identify as a porn addict. And what happens? They put a cage on themselves. They think, well, I can't quit anymore because My brain is hijacked by a substance. But no, look, you are making a choice on a day-to-day basis. There are reasons why you do it. When you say, I'm just an addict, you just cast the blame on something else. And that's why you can't quit, because you'll never take ownership. And that actually goes straight to the second point. The second trait is self-accountability. When you take ownership for why you— for what you do, you are able to then change what you do. If you're always saying, well, it's dopamine, it's urges, it's whatever, of course you can't quit. Like, what do you think? You think like something will just fall off the sky and just allow you to quit forever? No, you need to literally think, well, look, I am in control of this. I am making that decision. Not so you can just beat yourself up over it if you decide to watch porn, but so you can learn why you did it in the first place. If you always say, well, no, it's the urges, it's my hormones, it's insert brain changes. Guess what? They're going to take control over your brain. They're going to decide for you. Therefore, you'll never quit porn. Is that what you want? Of course not. And that's what I like about my student Joey. We had this trade. This guy said, "Look, I am word for word." Just watch the testimonial video if you want. He said, "I know I am the one typing porn on." the internet and then search for it and then scrolling to see which video I want to click. You are in full control of the process. Stop blaming things. You're not a leaf that's just blowing through the wind. You have no control over yourself. That's a lame excuse. I'll put— I'll be blunt. That's just a lame excuse you tell yourself. Sure, it might be hard. You might feel like it's hard, but never throw the blame to something else. Trait number 3. They are optimistic, not pessimistic. Look, if you constantly think, oh, you know, I can't quit, ah, you know, I've been relapsing for all of these years, then guess what? You'll never quit. Oh yeah, it's really that simple. You'll never quit because you are literally thinking that one little slip-up is defining your future. As if, like, people that quit, you think they never slip up? You think they never have a relapse? You think that they just quit like this overnight? No, they have hard moments, they have challenges, and so on. And the problem with being pessimistic instead of being an optimist is that you are literally thinking, well, I can't do anything about my situation. Therefore, you just give up. Okay, then like you'll never quit again. It's really that simple. And one last point about this. Look, in my faith, in my religion, I'm Muslim. God criticizes those that like do not have hope in it. You think that God can't help you. You think that you can't get out of this? That's just a question of your own limiting beliefs that you've been brainwashing yourself with. Trait number four: they focus on what's in front of them rather than their past. I hate, and I must say this again and again: when you throw the blame on trauma, on your past, and you constantly look at that, thinking that you'll find somewhat of a solution in looking at, oh, when I was young, this happened to me and this happened to me, you are just mentally masturbating. You are just doing that. Why? Because you are looking at what you can't change and you're doing that because deep down you're too scared to actually take action. Because looking at the past, looking at what went wrong allows you to have a valid excuse, at least in your own eyes, as to why you're not where you want to be in life. Oh yeah, I got bullied. I got bullied. I got bullied for years. I literally had no confidence, no accomplishments. No woman ever even wanted to be with me. No woman found me attractive. I didn't say, oh, because this happened in my life, therefore I'll never be able to be in a position where I have accomplishments, where I have confidence, where I have goals, where I actually achieve them. Look, I said, you know what? This is the past. Why should I look at it anymore? And look, even science proves that rumination makes depression worse. Rumination makes everything worse. There's an actual study on that. And there's also a study on top of that that shows that the link between trauma— yes, what happened in your past— and addictions— we're talking about drugs specifically— there's 2 studies that shows that there's no clear connection between both. There are people that have a good childhood that had great experiences, and yet they still drink a lot of alcohol. They they get drunk and they take a lot of drugs and so on. Why? Because these things are not the reason why you do it in the first place. You can't just look at your past thinking that oh you know if I come to term with my past then suddenly I'll just be so confident and I'll live my dream life and I'll be free from porn. That's not how it works. So for example, I have one of my students. I'm not going to say his name because it's something very personal. He had a horrible past. I'm talking about being sexually assaulted. Like, that's terrible. Like, that's one of the worst things that could ever happen to you in your childhood. Yet guess what? He is still moving forward. Like, he's still living his life now. He's building a business. He's maybe getting married soon. And we did go over that. We did go over these experiences. Yes, there's value in actually working in them, but there's no value in just being stuck with them and constantly trying to find a solution in them. Yes, it is valuable to look at it. Yes, we want to look at these things because you can then sometimes find why you're doing certain things. Why is it that you still think a certain way even though it doesn't make sense anymore? If this guy did it with a tough childhood like this, then you can definitely do the same. You can quit for good. All you need is the right approach and the right systems. And it starts with not looking at your past and instead focusing on the right approach and focusing on the now and what you can do right now. Trait number 5, Have emotional resilience. This is a crucial one, actually. Look, you don't have to fight a battle. You know you don't have to fight your urges for the rest of your life. This is what the Effortless Method is. You don't need to constantly fight this. You just need to go to the root cause and understand why you do it. But look, if life throws challenges, problems, adversity comes your way, and the first thing you do is, I need to escape, I need to watch porn, this is normal. I'm not supposed to face stress. Then guess what? Quitting is gonna become super hard for you because you'll constantly feel like life is not fair and you'll just go to porn, you'll just go to your bad habits in order to escape. So you need to accept that life will throw challenges at you, that life isn't supposed to be easy. You need to man up, to be honest. You need to actually say, you know what? Yes, life is supposed to be hard. Yes, life comes with challenges and that's exactly what I need because I've been living in this comfortable room, just doing the same things over and over again, just not being comfortable even like talking to a stranger, talking to a woman. That's not normal. You need to be able to have these challenges that literally throw you in the dirt so you can pick yourself back up and become a stronger man. So emotional resilience, as I define it, is your ability to accept what life throws at you and to find a solution instead of just running away. Because 90, or maybe 95%, 99% of people, they just run away. That's all they do. The moment you don't run away, you will literally not just reach freedom from porn, but you will be able to tackle anything life throws at you. And because of that, you'll be the man that can get married. You'll be the man that can lead a family. You'll be the man that can build that career, that business, that allows you to then change your life for good. Another trait is that they learn from people that are ahead of them. Look, this is something that I've been doing for the past few years. So I've invested thousands of dollars in fitness coaches, business mentors, even for quitting porn in the beginning. And look, this is something that will literally change your life. I had one of my students named John. You've probably seen his testimonial. He is 38 years old. He struggled for 20 years watching porn, for 20 years, over 20 years actually. And he also invested in different things. I mean, he read Easy Peasy, he did all of the NoFap stuff, and he invested in a course, and also he invested into a therapist. Guess what? The therapist said, you know what, she didn't even understand the problem. She couldn't relate. And most therapists, what did they do? They just say, you know what, you shouldn't feel that bad about this. Like, it's not that bad. You should just reduce your shame. And he just left after 2 sessions. Because when it comes to this, you need to understand that you need someone to call you out on what you are doing. It's just like a boxing coach. Do you want a boxing coach that just says, yeah, your jabs are good even though they're beginner level? You want someone that tells you, look, you're messing up here. This is the mistake. This is the thing you're missing on. You need to just improve this thing and then be better. And then if you make another mistake, it tells you exactly where you're messing up. And that's exactly how you can make the progress you'd make in 10 years in just 1 year. It's like you want a mirror. That's what I do with my coaching. You want someone that tells you exactly what your flaws are so you can then improve these things. Real quick, if you want to learn how you can actually quit porn and masturbation for good, I'm offering a free consulting call. You can book with the first link in the description. We'll dive deeper into your root cause, understanding why you do it in the first place. And then from there, you'll have more clarity around how you can actually quit once and for all. There's no strings attached. It's fully private. It can be anonymous if you want. Just click the first link in the description and let's get back to this video. Trait number 9, they are self-improvement focused. I've myself, back in the pandemic in 2020, I started self-improvement. I started improving myself. I started meditating. I was doing the Wim Hof. I was like super productive doing deep work and Just working out, eating healthy, and just taking care of myself overall and trying to make progress in different aspects. I even started a business. I had a clothing brand at that time, and that clothing brand completely failed, but it was an experience. But what I saw is that I would make progress across these different areas of life, but quitting porn was the one thing that was like the hardest. And you can probably relate to this because look, you're watching this video right now. You know you can make progress in, for example, fitness. Maybe you can make progress maybe in faith, maybe you can make progress in your social skills, but when it comes to quitting porn, that's the one thing that you just haven't been able to quit. Even the people that I coach, oftentimes they have struggled in the past with smoking, with drugs, and so on, but yet when it comes to this one habit, they can't leave it, but they can leave these other habits. Now the point with being self-improvement focused is personally, when I saw that I was making progress in, for example, fitness, and for example, my business, and for example, different areas of life, I was able to leverage the progress and the success I had in these different areas of life to realize that, oh, I can also do the same when it comes to quitting porn. It gave me hope because I was seeing results in these aspects. I was making progress. So I knew that quitting porn also would be something that I would make progress on, that I would be able to succeed in. Maybe you've seen YouTube Youssef before is one of the testimonials. Youssef was someone that was actively working on different areas of his life as he was trying to quit porn. He was traveling the world, he was building his business, he was— this guy's super jacked, like he's working out at the gym, he's doing all of these good things, he's eating very clean. And so when it came to quitting porn, for him it wasn't like as hard as other people because he already knew like, look, I'm making progress, I'm seeing results in these different Aspect, porn is just another challenge I will just overcome, and it really gives you hope. Trait number ten: faith and religion. I personally grew up in a semi-religious household where one parent is Muslim, the other one is not really practicing, and I grew up not really having faith. If I'm being honest, I just did things because I was told to do them. Therefore, I had zero conviction. I was just living my life. And being in Canada where everyone is just, to be honest, following their desires, there's no religion. They're not either Christian or Catholics or they're not Muslim. There's no religion. It's just they're purely atheists there. And I grew up just following the crowd. Oh, porn is good. Oh, sleeping around is good. Oh, drinking is good. And thank God, like a lot of these things I just never had the chance to do. I'm super, super grateful. But look, when it comes to quitting porn, It was super hard. So I remember finding about NoFap whilst I was in school. It was the pandemic and I had my friends at school. They were like all talking about like, oh yeah, yeah, you know, I watched this video and I did this and I did this. And I remember back then they asked me, you know, what about you, Samir? What do you do when it comes to this? I said, man, it's been like 100 days. It was actually the first day 100 that I've done. It was 100 days that I was 50%. From porn and masturbation. And they said, what about you? I said, yeah, it's been like 100 days since I've last done it. They were shocked. They were surprised. They were like, what? How's that even possible? Do you just like do it in front of a mirror? And I was like, no, I just don't do it anymore. And they were just— and that's when I realized, okay, like everyone is doing this. And then over the last few years, I started like gaining in faith. I started actually researching for myself because I was just a believer because I was born in a Muslim family. But I then started researching, I started gaining knowledge, and it came to a point where I realized like, okay, look, I— this is not even an option for me to, to go back to porn and masturbation. Like, I would never ever do this. It's like asking me, would you take drugs even if you feel at your lowest? No. Like, that's not something that I would even fathom. And I got to this point, thank God, and it's literally the greatest blessings I've ever received in my entire life was not to liquid point, it was to get closer to God because that allowed me to live with meaning, live with, okay, I'm doing things not for the sake of other people, not the sake of— for the sake of my pride or my desires, but for the sake of God, for the sake of the afterlife. And that's something I wish you could experience at least once in your life. Now the last trait is that they do not procrastinate. Let me ask you this, what did you want to do as a kid? So the last trait I wanted to go over, and before we go over it, I wanted to ask you a question. What is it that you wanted to do as a kid? What were your dreams? And why haven't they happened? Why haven't you taken action? You've been for years doing the same routine every single day, seeing no results, and you think that one day everything will change? How do you spend your time? I remember just going back home after school when I was younger, just playing video games, not even studying, and then having to wake up at 5 in the morning because I had an exam and I had prepared nothing for it. And I would feel so stressed out. I would go back to the bad habits and all of those years were wasted, wasted, gone. No progress was made. I had no accomplishment, nothing to show for myself. I wasn't doing anything. I just like wasted my life. And look, this is okay. I was a kid. I learned from that experience. Thank God I'm not here now. But what are you doing with your time? You know time is limited. You know that time is flying by. You know that you were 20, uh, 5 days ago. Now you're 25. You need to understand that you can't just like keep on going about this same routine seeing the same stuff going on where you just waste your time watching porn, binging, wasting days, not just an hour or 2, days. You're wasting your life. You have no more energy. All of that is gone because you keep on wasting it to pixels, to pixels on the screen, to women that don't even know you. You need to look at what is actually meaningful in life and actually take action towards that because look, you'll be 35 tomorrow and you'll be 35 No family, no kids, nothing, whilst you dreamt about these things ever since you were 20. Like, you gotta wake up, man. You gotta do something different. No one is coming to save you. I know it's cliché and you've heard these things so many times, but think about it, man. Isn't it time that you actually like draw that line in the sand and you actually make a change in your life? Now look, as I said in the video, these traits not traits that you need in order to quit. Some of these traits, and all of these traits, you can actually acquire them. You can work on them so that you can have them, and they will change your life if you actually have them. You cannot just think, oh, I'll just procrastinate, and on top of that, I'll throw the blame on everything else, and then I'll quit porn. No, you need these traits. Work on them now so that you can actually quit this. If you've been watching this, I'll tell you right now, you're already ahead of the game, man. Most people do not even know that porn is a problem in the first place. You watching this shows that you are committed, that you actually want to change your life around. You just need the right systems and approach. And look, a lot of these traits are not traits that you need to be born with. These are traits that you can work on so that you can actually quit this effortlessly. And if you wanna know more about how you can actually quit this, there's plenty of videos on my channel. Here's a video right here you can watch, and I'll see you guys in the next video.