In this YouTube video, Samir Gardner presents the personal transformation of John, a late‑30s married father who spent over two decades battling pornography and masturbation (PMO). John recounts his extensive history of failed attempts—using blockers, the Easy Peasy method derived from Alan Carr’s quit‑smoking program, phone‑placement tricks, and other reactive strategies—none of which produced lasting change. He then describes joining Samir’s one‑on‑one "Effortless Method" coaching in 2025. The method’s core premise is non‑judgmental observation of thoughts rather than suppression, allowing urges to pass like junk email. John explains how this shift reduced internal conflict, eliminated the need for willpower, and led to a dramatic reduction in porn‑related thoughts. Through regular coaching calls (weekly, then fortnightly, then monthly), he received immediate feedback, worked through uncomfortable moments, and applied the method to broader life areas. The tangible outcomes include reclaiming hundreds of hours previously spent on PMO, increased self‑confidence, deeper honesty and intimacy with his wife, and an overall sense of freedom. Samir reinforces that the decisive moment—choosing not to over‑analyze urges—is the catalyst for lasting change, emphasizing root‑cause clarity over discipline. The video concludes with a call‑to‑action inviting viewers to access the full interview and consider Samir’s coaching services.
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In this video, I want to show you John's journey. John is one of my students that joined the one-on-one coaching last year in 2025. John being in his late 30s, married and being a father, he struggled with porn his whole life. And he tried everything from courses to blockers to the Easy Peasy method to putting his phone outside of his bedroom and all of these techniques and tips and tricks that you've heard of before. So I want to show you not just the final result, but glimpses of our one-on-one coaching sessions together where you can see him making progress in real time. I want you to see where he started, what he believed, what he had already tried before, and how his mind started changing over time until the point where he left porn and masturbation. So you will see the first calls, the mindset shifts, the coaching moments, and part of the final testimonial. And if you want to watch the full interview, it's going to be there in the first link link in the description. You can watch it where John goes over his whole transformation, his whole journey, and what helped him quit. Let's go through his journey right now.
Yep. So my name's John. Um, recently turned 38. Um, the first time, uh, I was dealing with PMO was 12 or 13, so a pretty large chunk of life. I also came aboard with, I came on board with the Effortless Method and immediately from the get-go, you could tell it was very different. But by that time, I don't know the exact number of ebooks and courses, but it'd be like a fair number. 4 or 5 different ebooks, probably all the ones that most people have heard of in the quitting space. Like, the name's escaping me right now, but it's taken from Alan Carr's Easy Way to Quit, Easy Peasy.
Easy peasy, yeah.
So that was a big holy grail one, like, oh, like, if you read this, this is it, like, it's done. Because I had, I used to smoke cigarettes and I had used Alan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking and like I did it successfully. So when I got the Easy Peasy ebook, it was like saying the same thing. But again, it didn't work for me. From memory, maybe it worked for a couple of days and then it didn't. I've been listening to some of your videos. I journal every day at work. I can read, I read books every day at work. So it's a, like, it's an awesome job like that. Yeah. Um, good, good pay. Just the only downside is I'm away from my family and it's, and it's monthly pay. Yeah. The other thing is like, like it's just that, like it's an okay job. Like it's, I'm not doing what I really want to be doing. Um, and I've like, my whole, whole PMO career has been like that. Like everything's been half like mediocre. I haven't really been, uh, every— everything has been just enough to get by. Yeah, that makes sense. Like, never, never been at the top. Like, I've never had the ambition to like climb the ladder. I've always like sought out like a happy medium where I'm like, like in this, in this job I've had offers of promotion to like to move up but if I moved up, then I would lose my, my reading time or my writing time or my podcast listening time because I'd have to take on more responsibility. And I'm like, and my, my, um, my response to that when, when I've been offered different position is to be like, oh no, like, no, they all just say most of the, from my experience, a lot of them will like all, all kind of said the same thing pretty much lifted from the NoFap, uh, I think, I think it might have even been called like the NoFap Ten Commandments or something. And it was like, uh, download app blockers, um, accountability partners, streak counting, put your phone away. So just all, yeah, just like all, all stuff that is like sort of a reactive approach rather than a pro, proactive is just like, Um, like, oh, put, put your phone away in a different room when you go to bed at night. And I was like, well, it's like, that's so easy to get around, is that you just don't do it. And like an app, app blocker, um, like I, I got, I got app blockers and all I did every time was I would just uninstall them. So like, yeah. Um, so yeah, so if the effortless method was there's going to be no, no judgment at all if you do. Do you remember? I can't remember, but that was like the sort of the feeling I got from, yeah, coming on board with the Effortless Method was it's okay. Like, it's not like you're not broken. You're not this broken addict. Yeah, that I've noticed that, um, just in the last week or since our first call is when thoughts have come up, I haven't— whereas previously with other courses or ebooks or whatever, as soon as the thought comes up, you're like, like you shut it down, like no, no, like, uh, snap a rubber band on your wrist and yeah, and But since our first talk, it's like a thought comes up and you're just like, yep, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this, I'm, I'm doing this, or yeah, but what's the value in that? Um, they've been— that's been a really, uh, that's just been really awesome to experience. Just be, um, like, yeah, like today, like maybe 2 or 3 times came up, like I was just randomly thinking about whatever just a thought came in. Yeah, that was, that was a porn thought. And then kept doing what I was doing. And then maybe like whenever the next time that came up, I was just like, oh yeah, there's another porn thought. And there was no like, no, no, like, nah, don't do that. Uh, which is, yeah, really refreshing. Feels like, um, the Yeah, just feels like, like dropping a big burden. There's not like this tension, tense, like fighting with yourself, like, no, like, don't think that, don't think that, Bob. Yeah, yeah. No, man, um, I'm just— I was journaling the other day Not in this. I've got a, got a daily journal, and then I've got a big like, um, brain dump journal, which is this one. But in my other journal, as I was saying, uh, it hasn't been that, that long of a time period, but it's been like a lot, a lot has changed. Um, like I said, it'd only be like just over a month or nearly 2 months or something. Since we've been— you've been coaching me. But yeah, just feel really different. Yeah, feel awesome. Don't feel like— I know in the Alan Carr Quit Smoking book, I think he always brings that example. Yeah, yeah. I mean, if— yeah, I don't know if I'm ever going to explain it to someone, but yeah, um, he talks about having the, um, black shadows in the back of your mind, and then like, like talking about like, no, no, like the, the little nicotine monster, or which— whatever he's talking about at the time, and Just the, uh, let's say like the refreshing or the—
like what changed? Like how's basically your life after that?
Uh, well, the first thing that comes to mind is just that the time, the time gotten back. Um, yeah, there was an exercise at the start coming on board with the Effortless Method and it was kind of like a, um, like a scary realization and it was like an equation, like time. I can't remember exactly how it was, but it was like time, how much, like say, even just like a very conservative number, just say like 1 hour, um, then like times by 300 or how many days a year times how many years you've been doing it. And yeah, it was like, it was like a very like stark, um, like a confronting number. And you think like all that time gone, uh, to do something that you don't even get anything, uh, like positive out of in the last week, years later where it barely even enters your mind. And then, and then when it does, it's not a, like you don't care. It's like such a, it's one of those things that you think, uh, like, oh, I wish I, I wish I could be like one of those people. Like, uh, like I could never imagine being like that. Like when you're, when you're in the deepest rut of just like day in, day out binging. And then you're just like, when you're not binging, you're just thinking about the next binge, um, to fast forwarding into the future to be like the person that you are now, and back then never imagining that you could be, could be like that. Yeah, it's a big, uh, yeah, so self, self-confidence and, uh, yeah, self, self-love. Like, yeah, there's, there's nothing but, nothing but benefits to quitting when you're in. So then take, take, excuse me, taking that and then just applying it to different, different areas of your life. Like it can't, I feel like I've sort of done that maybe, well, not unconsciously, like definitely like, well, yeah, that kind of feels like what I've done with PMO, like Um, so at the start of the course being like, um, how you're saying like, uh, all or nothing at the start of, uh, our coaching being still being in the mindset of like, um, of fighting, fighting the urge, like being in the fight mode, and then quitting when you're in a marriage. You can't be 100% present in your marriage or relationship if you're, if you're doing stuff, if you do, if you're using PMO. So quitting PMO, uh, personally has sort of made me more, uh, definitely more open, more more close with my wife. We, we are a lot, a lot closer, a lot happier, a lot more playful. Um, and probably like the hard— like the absolute hardest thing was like, was telling her, like being honest. I mean, I got, got this after years of hiding it. Um, so like a painful process to go through, but that's like the best thing to do, because being honest with her about it and then her being, no man, this, uh, oh yeah, so like you usually do, clarify things, um, and like all the other times I'd like feel a lot better after having talked to you about it. Yeah, awesome. Like getting, getting your perspective on it, um. Yeah, but yeah, no, all good, man.
Yeah, of course. I mean, look, I'll just tell you, like, the moment you stop, like, you decide— it's not like a process that you need to go through, it's really a decision. It's like the moment you decide to not overanalyze your thoughts or try to figure out, like, the meanings that your thoughts have, is the moment that these thoughts are going to stop on coming back, like, sooner, like, sooner than you can imagine. It's really that simple. It's always the thoughts that we fear the most that are present the most because it's just we think about them because we fear, like we're thinking about them basically. And it's like sometimes it's like you think about these things because you used to do these things. Like you used to, for example, consume PMO. So of course you are probably going to think of PMO as an escape whenever you feel stressed out, but that doesn't mean that you're hijacked in a sense of like, this is a thought I need to debunk because if I still have this thought, it'll keep on coming back. No, actually it will stop on coming back the moment you just see it as a thought passing by. It's like that analogy of you look at your emails in the morning You look at your inbox folder and then you see a junk email. You don't like overanalyze. You're like, okay, like this guy sent it to me. Is this scammer or not?
Okay.
And then let me look at this. Like you just skim through and then you just stop looking at it, you know?
Yeah.
It's like that. It's really that simple.
Yeah.
And so on.
Part was actually the one-on-one coaching. Just because you would get the immediate back-to-back feedback or if you had an immediate problem during the week, because when I came on board with Effortless Method, sort of had like a, I'm gonna say like an excited launch into Effortless Method, like, oh wow, this is so great, this is awesome, like, it's everything, like, oh well, it's completely opposite to what you think it would be. And so you're just having the, and then having the, I think we started off weekly and then went to fortnightly and then monthly calls, just the Obviously, there was some uncomfortable, like, difficult stuff initially, like, for the first couple of calls, because of the nature of the Effortless Method and the nature of the issue.
Now, after watching John's journey, if you see yourself in his story, I want you to know something. You do not have to stay stuck in porn, masturbation, lust, fetishes, fantasies. John probably struggled with adult content. He consumed adult content for longer than you probably did. And when you consume so much adult content for so many years, it becomes your default. You can't imagine a life without it, but you can see that John managed to do so. And John didn't need more willpower. He didn't need to fight it harder. He didn't need discipline or to just keep himself busy. He really needed clarity around his root cause. Around why he was doing what he was doing. And this is what I do in my one-on-one coaching. I help you understand why you even have that desire in the first place so you can move on permanently from porn and masturbation and completely change your life as a byproduct. If you want my help, you can click the second link in the description where you can talk to me one-on-one and gain some free insights from me. And if you want to get more intensive one-on-one coaching like John did, then we will see if you are fit. I'll see you guys in the next video.
