Dealing With Ego Problems

What's good, y'all? It's your boy Samir Gardner. Hope y'all doing good. So, dealing with, uh, ego problems right now. Like, bro, I'm gonna be honest, I'll be dealing like with, like I said, ego problems. Like, it's weird because I don't know if I want to continue this YouTube and everything, but what I want to tell y'all is like basically like the story like that happens to everyone and what you can learn from like my story. Basically, it's not like a big story or anything, but look The thing is, when you get on self-improvement, at first you start like progressing, you start making like serious progress. Like, like the first time you work out, you start feeling like for it, like you start feeling like you've done— you did something so good and you're happy and everything. You actually feel happy, you feel positive, you feel better, you know, when you first start on self-improvement. So what happens is you want to like sort of transmute that. I mean, not transmute, but you want to give other people your habits. You want to give people advice so they can do the same thing as you because it changed your life. But what happened for me, and which probably happens for a lot of people, is people really don't care, bro. People, people— I'm not gonna say they don't care. It's just like many people have sort of like given up on life. But I didn't know that. I thought people had the same motivation as me. I thought people had the same sort of like interest in improving yourself, because who doesn't want to improve their life? Even if they don't have motivation for life, I can change that for them. I can help them by, you know, doing things like working out, eating healthy, lifting. But what happened is it never— like, it never worked. It never worked because, like I said, people, maybe they're afraid of change. Maybe people are dealing with some like negative stuff like traumas and everything, so they don't want to try something new. They just want to, you know, basically just breathe and eat and sleep. But like, it kind of like fucked me up. Like, to be honest, it really fucked me up because I kind of like gave up on helping people in a sense, because why, why would I want to eat— why would I want to change people if they don't even want to change themselves? Why? Like, if no one wants to sort of like get, get help, and literally I can literally change someone's life. I can literally change someone's life. Give me someone who's my age, like anyone in my class, and I can be his mentor and I can change his life. I can change his life for the better. He might even like be, I don't know, like he might make a lot of money, he might be like happy, might even write a book. He can do all those things. He can be disciplined, he can have interest, he can have some— so I don't know, anything. I can teach him so many things, but the problem is no one is ready for that, bro. No one wants that. That's why I kind of like sort of went to YouTube. So because I know people can click if they want on my videos or anything. But the thing is, for example, me at first, uh, like the basic self-improvement stuff, I started with like watching people like spiritual soul Find to God was the first one. Uh, who else? I don't remember, but Find to God and Spiritual Soul kind of changed my life, to be honest. And one thing I learned, like, this that they said a lot, like, in the past is like cut out like things like the news, the TV, because it's like all fake, just celebrities. And celebrities, like, they're not special, like, they're just some people, just some people doing— like, it's just a distraction, basically. It's just a distraction from life. And I tried telling people that, and people really didn't care, bro. People, people really didn't care. Maybe I know I'm not supposed to say that to other people, maybe. Yeah, I know, but people, that kind of like, uh, I was kind of in pain because people was like, because I kind of see like people's problem and I can't see what's the solution. But people, they don't want to. Like, they don't, they don't want to. And I know, I know that I cannot change your life. I didn't, I didn't know that in the past. I cannot, I didn't know that. Another thing will be like, you know, so many people will have like, you know, um, health problems nowadays. So many people, people around you, people everywhere, people everywhere. And the only people who don't have like health problems is the people that are conscious about their health. And, you know, I started learning about like eating healthy and everything. So I was like, I'm gonna cut off the fast food, I'm gonna cut off this, I'm gonna eat more foods and everything. But people around me that were kind of sick and had health problems, I was like, I can literally cure the problems if they decide to eat healthy. Because many people don't— they didn't even try to eat healthy. And like, I'm not gonna brag about people, but like, they didn't want to change. I was like, bro, if they just started like eating clean and cut out like the fast food that literally hurts them every day, then maybe they will be healthy. Maybe they like, they will thank me because, uh, they can now go for a run, they cannot go play sport, they feel way better than ever. But people don't. Don't want to. People don't want to. And, you know, like, I'm gonna say again, like, it's not, it's not my fault, it's not, it's not your fault, it's not their fault. It's just, it's your fault for trying to help someone who doesn't want to help. What happened basically is I started, like, having, like, a sort of hate for society, bro. And maybe that was also, like, sort of caused by me, you know, searching stuff, like, you know, like people exposing stuff about our society and everything. But I kind of started having hate because this society, for me, doesn't want to help themselves. This society doesn't want to improve anything. This society doesn't want to— like, this society just wants to do self-destructive habits 24/7. This society wants to keep eating McDonald's 24/7. When, like, when they can literally like, I don't know, bro. For me, it just sort of killed my desire to help people basically, because I was like, if they all want to do this, then bro, it's like, imagine if you have like $10 million and you can, with that money, the only thing you can do is spend it, not spend it, but I mean, give it to other people. Give it to other people, uh, like donations and everything. Just random people you see, maybe at the restaurant, maybe you see outside and everything. Now, would they tell me 10 million? Imagine if people didn't accept it. No one accepted it. Like, you gave them— give them— you gave, uh, one, uh, you gave him 1 million. You say, oh, here's 1 million, I hope it will change your life. And this guy's like No, bro, I'm good. And imagine, imagine if no one's— yeah, you're gonna keep the money for yourself, but you cannot keep the money for yourself. You gotta give it to other people. Then like, it's gonna make you insane. You're gonna be like, people don't want, don't want to get money to change their life? People are in debt and they don't want to get money? Like, all this, that doesn't make sense. So it's like, then if no one's No one wants to change their life, then bro, like, what's the point of me trying to help people? Like, I kind of lost the hope in humanity because no one wants to change. People— I know it's my fault because I look at it in such perspective because I know there's other people who want to change, but that was my perspective. I was like, people around me that love me doesn't even want to change, don't even want to try something new. They see all my results but they don't care. I was like, what's happening, bro? Like, what's wrong with the society? The thing, like, I remember, like, quite well was as a kid, one of the things I used to do, I remember, is I used to, like, sort of, like, visualize myself winning the lottery and helping so many poor people, giving them, like, luxury and just life-changing stuff so they can stop living in poverty. I was like, I'm, I'm going to take people from country, countries in, uh, like some countries in Africa and Asia and everything. I'm going to take them and basically change them their life, buy them a mansion, buy them food, buy them everything so, so they can live like a king, king and a queen. Like I had this passion, I had this passion of wanting to change, but ever since I was on the self-improvement But it disappeared, to be honest. It really disappeared. I don't know. It disappeared since people stopped— not, not stopped, but people never had an interest in, you know, improving yourself like I did. Like, I don't know, to change the world or change people around me, you got to change yourself. I gotta lead by example. But the thing is, I tried leading by example. It worked for some people around me, but it didn't work for everyone. I mean, not especially people like more grown, like adults and everything. These people don't care. These people, I mean, I understand them because they've gone to like working a job, they're coming home tired and everything. They don't even know. They basically gave up on life. A lot of them give up on life. But like, this spirit in me, the spirit, like the sort of love to help people because I was like, well, I'm gonna change the world, but I know I gotta change myself to change the world. But I want it— I want to help people, but I lost desire. It's, it's weird because I want— I don't know if I want to continue this YouTube because I want to help people, but I don't— but I feel like I'm forcing myself to help people because I know that in the future I'm gonna want to help people. But right now I don't feel like helping people. Right now I don't feel— I'm gonna be honest, I don't even— I lost it. I lost the desire. Because maybe, maybe when I'll meet people that are on the same frequency, people that want to improve their life, maybe I'll start, um, you know, basically, uh, having back this desire of helping people. But the problem is like My ego doesn't want to. My ego also— what, another thing, in the past I used to be like the nice guy and everything. And being the nice guy, bro, like, killed the desire to help people even more because I used to help so much people. I used to always be like, oh, I'm gonna help them. Oh, if they feel bad, I'm gonna sacrifice whatever I have so they can feel good. I'm gonna put their interest first. I'm gonna do this and that just for them. And so, bro, that ruined— that ruined me. So right now, my ego doesn't want to go back to this sort of state of just helping people, not caring about myself. Like, my ego is scared of this. My ego is scared of, you know, really, really just helping people. Like, I don't know, my ego is scared of going back to the state of I just help people and people basically do anything to me if it's negative or anything, and I just act like someone who doesn't— I don't know how to explain. Just I act like I don't got no defense or anything like I used to. My ego is scared of sort of going back to this nice guy sort of state. Another problem too is that kind of like fueled my sort of hate for society. Even though I don't want this, I'm conscious of it. I'm conscious that I have hate, and I'm conscious that I don't want to have it. It's, it's just like, it's like Naruto got the Nine Tails Fox inside of him. It's the same for me. I got sort of like this energy that doesn't like society. So another problem that kind of fueled this problem is with the pursuit of knowledge and ambitious goals. And, you know, because I got ambitious goals, like I got goals I know I'm gonna achieve, but they're kind of like big for— I'm not gonna brag, but for a lot of people, a lot of people don't even want to settle for that big. But the thing is, these people in society around me lifting, they don't understand why I act this way. Like, I have like one person that understands. The other people don't understand why I do intermittent fasting, why I eat healthy, why I practice, I do this every day without, you know, doing daily stuff. They just think I'm strict and brainwashing. I don't— like, for example, I dropped out of college. People think, oh, he probably, you know, he's lazy, doesn't want to go to school, he's tired of school. No, bro, it's not, it's not, it's not it. Like, people don't understand it. People really don't understand because they don't do the same thing as me. And I'm not saying I'm doing the right thing, I'm just saying I'm doing something different. I'm doing, you know, just I'm pursuing knowledge 24/7, which kind of like, it's kind of hard because when you pursue knowledge 24/7, it's like the circle gets smaller because people start not understanding you. For example, you see people that take like LSD and, you know, like spiritual stuff. They, they are lonely because people around— people can't even understand one thing of what they say. For example, they might say like, I'm, I'm only gonna— people should only act with love. The people are not gonna understand this. People are still in their like old beliefs. And that's a problem with me because people don't understand why I act the way I act. They think I'm crazy, they think I'm strict with myself, they think, they think I'm doing, I'm doing some like strict, strict things on myself for no reason and everything. They just don't understand why I do what I do. Now the lesson you should learn from my experience is if you want to change people, if you want to change your world, go Trust me, don't expect people to change, but don't expect anyone to change. Because I will— I'm still grateful that I kind of have like this ego problem, because I still have this ego problem of not once like not wanting to help people because of the past and everything. But once you start improving your life and everything Don't try to help other people if they don't want to, if they don't have no interest. Lead by example and people will ask you questions, and that's when you answer. But don't expect them to change your life. Maybe some— do something like YouTube so you can speak your thoughts and help people. Start with that first instead of starting with changing the people around you, because it will be such a mental pain, bro. It will be such a mental pain because people You're gonna have to force people in. Even if you force them, they don't want— they don't want to— they don't want to do it. You can tell someone, eat this food so I can cure your— you know, eat this, drink this herb so you can heal from what you have right now. But no, these people don't want to. You say, if you stop eating junk food, then you're going to be ill. These people don't want to. These people don't want to. So I think start off with something like YouTube, or like people that actually have interest in helping themselves. Because from my experience, there's not a lot of people in real life. It's more on this YouTube stuff, because I think people on YouTube are more, more open-minded. So bro, just keep going and focus on you, but you can still help people. Just lead by example and try to go to places like YouTube where people have the same interest of improving themselves. So that's it for the video. Hope y'all like, take comment, share, subscribe, and like. I'm out, peace.