How I was able to finally forgive myself to quit porn (and you can too)

Forgiving yourself for your struggles with porn and lust might be one of the missing pieces in your recovery. Now let me explain why and how you can actually forgive yourself in this video. Look, after coaching hundreds of men overcome porn, masturbation, and lust, I've seen those that took more time to recover and those that became free faster have two different struggles, okay? One struggle with porn, the other struggle with porn and also forgiving themselves. Now, the second group is the group that will take more time to actually recover from porn, really become free from porn once and for all. And you might think that it's because you've sinned too much that God will not even forgive you, will not accept your repentance. And that's not true, as you probably know already. The real reason why you actually can't forgive yourself and can't move on with this habit is that you're scared of two simple things that have nothing to do, nothing to do with your faith. The first thing, and let me expose this, this might make you feel uncomfortable, but trust me, this is going to change everything once you become aware of this. The first thing is you are scared of what other people will think of you if you were to change. Now, here's the thing. You know that if you were to change and forgive yourself, you'll probably become someone better overall, as you probably know already. You'll be able to quit porn, you'll be able to pursue those projects that you always wanted to pursue, you'll be able to help other people in your community, and all of these meaningful things. But the problem that you have is your self-worth, your confidence, How you even treat yourself, and that's besides porn, just how you overall see yourself has not changed. And so what happens is you fear that, for example, you might get married and then your partner will find out that you used to struggle with porn, used to struggle with these specific things, with these specific fetishes, and then will judge you and just drop you off. Right? And the problem here is not like the rejection in and of itself. It's you. You rely, and you probably rely, on someone else's approval, someone else's validation in order to feel good about yourself, in order to feel worthy, in order to feel confident, in order to feel just overall like you are a man, you are someone that people or even yourself can respect. And that's a huge problem, my friend. That's a huge problem that you need to solve right now. I'm going to give you the actionable steps, but most people, for example, will chase, and you know this specific example that you see happen in day to day, in your day to day, and that is that people will chase a relationship and the moment that they'll have the relationship, they'll just give up on improving themselves. They'll give up on so many other aspects of their lives because they got to the end destination, right? And that's the end destination. And if that's the case, first of all, you're going to have a lot of problems in your relationships because you'll probably put your partner first instead of God, instead of your, your projects, your purpose, your mission. And guess what? Your partner is not going to be attracted to that, even though you think that your partner will be attracted to a man that puts his woman first. That's not the case. That's not how women's psychology work, right? To begin with. And so here's what you need to do, okay? You need to really tie down your self-worth, not on people's approval, but on other thing, right? For example, first and foremost, put more time, put more focus, put more importance on God. Go and study more. Go and really focus more on learning about faith, learning about God, right? Trust me, once that's really dialed in, once that's really something that you focus on, what's going to happen is you're not going to care as much about other people. right? The same way, for example, some people are not scared of death. Some people are willing to go to war, right, to protect their families because they know, okay, that deep down, after, in the end, all that matters is God, right? And that's the end state that you want to be in. But most people just have this lukewarm sort of conviction in their faith, right? And that's not what you want to have, okay? Now that's first thing. Second thing is you have nothing meaningful that you're pursuing in life. You're not trying to, for example, spread your faith, right? You're not trying to, you know, tell other people about God, right? Which is the basic purpose that we have on earth as humans, right? And then you don't have other things that might relate to that or might be meaningful to you. For example, maybe that's helping other people. Maybe that's helping your own family. Maybe that's building a project that will have an impact on the world or even just on a group of people that you want to help, right? You might not even give to charity, even though that's something very important, right? And you want to start doing those things. Just go and think of one thing that you always want to do in regards to other people, right? Meaning having an impact on other people's lives. And focus on that, okay? Now, what's going to happen, okay, with these things is you're gonna have hope that you're gonna finally move on, okay? Because now you're gonna go from all my self-worth is based on me and how other people react to me. So if they know that I struggle with porn, then my self-worth will be decreased because they'll have a negative reaction to that. And I base my self-worth based on how other people treat me. Based on how other people react to me, respect me, right? Which is not something you want to do because people won't even respect you if you put themselves first, okay? So that's first things first, okay? Now, second thing, okay? You are probably scared that you won't be able to change again. And there are two reasons for that. First reason comes back to the first initial point that we're talking about here, right? You don't have conviction in God, probably, right? As much as you know you should have, right? Meaning you haven't studied, and studied and the consumption of information is the easiest way to really just increasing conviction in something. If I learned that the keto diet has all of these benefits and that it's the only way to eat to be healthy, and I read books or I watch videos about that, or I consume articles, whatever, and I have evidence, right? Evidence is very key. Proof, right? Studies, whatever. Then obviously I'm going to be more likely to want to eat keto because I'll realize that other diets, they make no sense and that I'm gonna be unhealthy. And maybe the reasons why I was unhealthy was because of these other diets and that keto is the only way to cure my, for example, acne, my my state of being sick, for example, well, obviously I'm going to be way more likely to eat keto, right? And I'm going to have conviction and I'm going to stick to that, right? And same thing here. If you don't study God, you don't study faith, you don't go and read more about it, you don't go and watch videos about it, you don't go and look up for, you know, proof, for evidence, then obviously nothing's going to change, right? You're still going to have the same lukewarm faith, which is not something that you want, right? And so that's first things first, right? You need to change that. You really need to change that. Now, second thing is you don't do anything to change yourself after you, for example, sin, right? So for example, if you know that you'll just go and do the same things, then guess what? Nothing is going to change, right? And it's as simple as that, right? Even if you were to just do one thing new, for example, you say, you know what, I sinned. Now let me maybe learn about how I can change myself to watching a video on that topic so that I can have a different outcome next time. Well, guess what? You'll start having hope in yourself. So you're not going to live with this unconscious belief that you're basically never going to change, right? You need to do one thing. I always say to people, to make it simple, you need to do one thing that will drastically change the trajectory of your life right now. Just one thing, not 10, 2, 4, 5, 1,000. One thing that will change drastically the trajectory of your life. Because at the end of the day, God will help us, but he's not going to help someone that doesn't do anything about his situation, as we already know. So go ahead and reflect on that and forgive yourself now. You know why I tell people to just forgive themselves and move on with their lives? It's not only because I know based on coaching many people that you're less likely to become free from a sin or a bad habit when you don't forgive yourself, but also because when you think about it from a logical perspective, you made a mistake. Right? You still have the intention of changing yourself, which really matters. If you didn't have the intention of changing yourself, then of course I wouldn't be saying that. But since you already have the intention within your heart, which matters a lot, then I know deep down that you're probably going to change soon. So please reflect on these things I've talked about in this video and see how everything is going to change for you.