How To Do The Why Process

So I just finished recording today new parts of my course for my students, and there is one video which is called the Why Process, right? And maybe some of you guys know about it already if you watch my masterclass. And a lot of people been asking me, how do I do it, right? And even my students really see how much it changes everything once they do the Why Process. And so I want to share with everyone else, you know, I don't want to just share with my students who are in my mentorship, but I also want to share it with other people because this is really life-changing and I want you guys to implement this, right? So this is how you can implement this on your own. Obviously it's still better if you do it with someone else that knows how to ask the proper questions, but please make sure to watch this video and implement this as well as you can and take advantage of this because this is videos which I usually don't share with anyone else but my students. All right guys, so how to do the why process. Okay, I've been asked to make this video by one of my students. And so we're really going to go more in depth so that we can understand maybe more so of the emotional reasons as to which you watch porn, masturbate, lust, or what I'd like to call the subconscious reasons, right? The unconscious reasons. And so let's just jump into it and make sure that you guys really take a pen and paper or create document so that you can follow this along. Okay? So a few things to be aware of. First, okay, you want to be as honest as possible. Even if it seems irrational for you to say something out loud, you gotta understand that it's still rational to you in the back of your mind. Okay? So for example, if it's like, oh yeah, I watch porn and masturbate and ask you, you know, if for you guys that don't know what the why process is, is like kind of like this process with this, what people call the Socratic dialogue. Where you ask yourself, okay, I like to watch porn, but why? Okay, so I— the reason why I want to watch porn is because I think it, um, gives me a taste of a real sexual experience, right? So that— let's say that's, that's the reason why. Then you ask yourself, okay, but why do you want a taste of a real sexual experience? And then maybe the answer will be like, oh, because, um, Because women are so important to me. Maybe it seems irrational for you to say that out loud, but in the back of your mind, it is still rational. And so you don't want to judge yourself also, if that makes sense. Okay? So second, do the process until you hit a strong emotional answer that you can actually reflect on. It can be, for example, okay, so I watch porn because, let's say you do the why process, you say, okay, it's because of sex. Then because of sex, because I found women important. Okay. And then at one point you ask yourself why as many times as possible. And then you get to a point where it's like, oh, because when I was, let's say younger, there was this woman who kind of laughed at me and told me that I would never ever be able to be in a relationship with anyone. Right? For example, or I'll give you an example of one of my students who told me that for him it was when he was young, a guy threw a condom at him. In front of the woman, every girl. So he got mad at that. And so he wanted to essentially what we found out is he wanted to have sex or he was thinking about sex a lot, and sex was very important for him simply because he wanted to take revenge on that kid by showing that he's able to sleep with these different women that he basically got humiliated in front of. And so that's the thing. It might seem irrational to say, oh, because a kid threw a condom at me also. But there's nothing irrational to your own— I mean, there's nothing irrational to you if you believe in it, meaning you still believe it's rational. And also, like I said, the second step is you want to get to that point where it's emotional. Like, oh, he threw that condom at me and made me feel bad. It made me feel so low that I wanted to take revenge, whatever. right? Third, take your time. Don't rush to find answers. Obviously, you know, this is not something that you need to do for the rest of your life. This is not something you need to do multiple times. This is something you do maybe once or twice maximum, right? And fourth, don't expect anything. Just say whatever comes up in your mind and ask yourself questions. That's it. Okay? So here are the benefits of this process, right? Or more so like one benefit of this process is you'll bring the unconscious to the conscious, meaning the deep reasons for why you PMO, will finally be brought up to the surface, which will create cognitive dissonance and will remove a major reason for why you feel like you want to PMO. Okay? Because that's the thing. Most people don't know their unconscious mind, right? They just know the conscious side of things, right? They just know, oh yeah, I think that watching porn is bad. But in the back of their mind, they're like, oh, but if I watch porn, I'm finally going to be able to experience that revenge that when I was a kid, that kid that did this to me, in front of the woman. When I watch porn, I can get a taste as if I was taking revenge, which might seem irrational, but then you can bring it, this irrational thing that you think is rational to the conscious and now boom, it just, you realize how irrational it is. And so you just let go of it naturally, right? You naturally move on from it, right? And as humans, we don't want to PMO just for the sake of PMO, right? As you already know, instead we want what we think it can give us on a deeper slash emotional level, right? So once we are aware of these deep reasons, we will be able to understand what created that desire, right? Which is what is powerful about the process, right? Highly, highly suggest you guys do that process. This is one thing which really helps people understand not just, you know, the surface level reasons for which they PMO, which might be pleasure, sexual relief, emotional relief, but instead understanding the deeper reasons, right? Which is powerful. Now for the process, okay, for PMO, right? Basically what we want to do now, obviously this process is better done with someone else, is better done with someone who knows how to ask questions properly because this is going to help you really get to the point instead of just trying to just guess it, right? So if someone can ask yourself, can ask you proper questions, you can also do it by yourself, it might take a bit more time and it might be more difficult. So the process is, okay, why do I want to do the behavior? And then you'll get the answer. And then with the answer, you're going to ask yourself, but why? And then you're going to get the answer and then you're again going to ask yourself, but why, based on that answer? And it goes on and on. Maybe it's going to take 3 to 5 answers. Maybe it's going to take 5 to 10, maybe 10 to 15. It depends on every individual and how you do the process. "Okay, also, why do you like to PMO?" For example, it can be, "Oh, because it gives me so much pleasure." "Okay, why do I want that pleasure?" "Because I want an escape." "Why do you want to escape?" "Because my life sucks." "Why does your life suck?" "Because you're not in a relationship." "Okay, why do you want to be in a relationship?" "Oh, because I'll never feel love." "Why do you want to feel love?" "Because I was never loved." And then you see we hit a strong emotional pain point, and that makes the the person that does this instantly realize, okay, this is irrational, or this is not valid. This is not a valid way for me to get what I'm looking for deeply within. And so that's when they just drastically reduce their desire for PMO, if that makes sense. Now compare this, right? There's two situations. I PMO because I need a sexual outlet, or I PMO because I never been loved and I believe that PMO can give me a glimpse of love. right? It's very different. Now, obviously I don't want you to create this kind of a mental gymnastics slash mental masturbation thing of, oh, let me just do this with every single behavior, even though, or let's say every single aspect of porn and just constantly try to find the deep reasons. It can be really just that simple. And I want a sexual outlet, that's why I do it. And you tackled it that way. But if you feel like you're still struggling even though, you've like tackled those, those like shallow or shallow or surface level reasons, like a sexual outlet, then you can do the, the, this process and just see if it works for you, right? See if it is actually efficient for you. Now, now when I say it's efficient, it doesn't mean like, you know, this is something you do and magically everything disappears, but it helps you understand, you, uh, understand yourself on a deeper level. But not only that, um, you know, I mean, as a byproduct, you might, you know, as well just like reduce that desire. But this is just like something that It's not like I'm giving you a pill and it's just going to be solved, but it helps really facilitate and understand yourself on a deeper level, as I said. So what you want to do is use the workbook, right? So if you have, I mean, of course, if you're my student, you have access to the workbook and you can actually do the process in the workbook itself, right? The workbook, which I don't have with me at the moment. Oh no, actually I do have with me. So let me just, let me just show you guys. So that workbook will be, you know, you can just go to the page and just take a look at it. If you don't have the physical version, because let's say that I didn't ship it out to you because you didn't want to, then you can use the digital version, which I have in the videos inside of the course. If I shipped out to you the physical version, then obviously it's better. but you can still do both, right? And so use the workbook if you want, it's gonna be better because you're gonna have it there and just really ask yourself those questions and reflect on it. And please, you know, keep the distractions aside as much as possible just to help you really do this more efficiently and go, you know, deeper and also save time, right? So this is the key thing. You're gonna save a lot of time, you know, cuz if you're on your phone and computer, then you, you're looking at different things and at the same time you're doing this process. then obviously it's going to disturb everything, right? Then it's going to take more time. So what to do next? Take about 15 to 30 minutes to answer those questions, right? You can just start off with like, okay, what is my favorite type of porn? Or what is my favorite fantasy fetishes? Or it can just be like, why do I like porn, right? It can just be that simple. Do it only once and go in depth. Okay? I have the answers ready if you feel comfortable sharing them with me. right? You don't have to share them with me per se, but obviously will be way better, right? And so, and obviously as a coach, I'm not here to judge anyone. I'm just here to really help you guys. So let me know if you have any questions. In the next video, we're gonna go more in depth into different psychological things that we're gonna talk about. And you can also watch the other videos in the course when it comes to watching porn and masturbating if you haven't completed those yet.