How to leave p*rn in the next 5 days
Samir Gardner argues porn is a learned habit, not a disease, and can be quit in five days by reframing desire as a mental perception you can devalue. He identifies four drivers: pleasure, emotional relief, sexual relief, and a constructed sense of masculinity. The key is recognizing these are cognitive products, not chemical compulsions, and using distraction or reframing to dissolve them.
Chapters
You're looking for the magical sauce to quit in 5 days? Let me tell you, it's actually possible. I know NoFap has been telling you that it's literally impossible, it will never happen, but to be honest, you know, how do NoFap keep their members? Well, they need to struggle because if they're not struggling, if they're leaving this NoFap space, this NoFap ideology, then they're not part of their communities anymore. Which even though it's free, there's always some ways to make some money out of it, right? So let me explain to you something, right? I've helped multiple people. Our success rate currently when it comes to the one-on-one mentorship is above 90%. What I can tell you, okay, is that Freedom in 5 Days is not only possible, but you can leave at any time you want. And I know you probably don't believe this. Trust me, I didn't believe the same. My students didn't believe the same at first. But if you really understand simple psychology and the simple, what we call, okay, what we call the, let me write it. Where's my pen? Okay, it's right here. If we understand simple, the root cause, okay, we're gonna understand basically how to live forever, okay? Now, the root cause can be defined as something very simple. Your desire, okay? So this is your desire to PMO. Now, one thing which I wanna make clear is don't think of the root cause as if like you had a disease that, you know, your disease is that you have a desire, it's like the symptom of your root cause, whatever, right? You need to understand that problems such as porn, just porn, masturbation, lust are not disease. It's not like you actually have something physically wrong physical within you. And this is a very good thing to know because if you really look at a real disease, right, such as for example cancer, it's literally inside of your body. You can literally scan it. Now if we look at porn, and let's say for example porn addiction, which has not been, you know, um, identified yet as, as like an addiction, you'll realize that, you know, you cannot scan it inside of the body, right? There can be brain changes, okay, brain changes as in like, you know, You see it through brain scans, but even then, even you saw those popular, you know, pictures of people changing their brains because of their porn consumption, the same way as if they took a lot of drugs. You need to understand that brain changes is simple neuroplasticity, okay? Neuroplasticity is your brain, okay, changes based on what you repeat so that it can be more efficient with time, okay? Meaning, for example, if I become very good at playing the piano, like very good, my brain will literally change. You can look up those studies, right? It happens with any behaviors or thoughts, skills basically that we repeat often so that we create less resistance when we wanna do it again, okay? For example, if I play basketball, right? At first I'm gonna suck at playing basketball. Like dribbling is gonna be very hard. Like I'm gonna think my way through. I'm gonna be like, okay, I need to do this. I'm gonna need to do this. I'm gonna use what we call long-term memory, right? So I'm gonna be, using a lot of mental effort, a lot of mental energy in order to just do simple actions, right? Such as shooting, such as dribbling, whatever, right? I'm gonna constantly think and it's gonna be hard for me. But as I play more and more and more, my brain starts changing so that I can just play without even using that much mental effort, that much mental energy. This is what we call using the short-term memory. So you're not gonna be thinking that much when you're gonna be dribbling, you're gonna instead, you know, do it way more efficiently, okay? That's why brain changes occur, right? It's simple neuroplasticity. It happens with taxi drivers, it happens with piano players, it happens with many people. And guess what? With porn, we repeat it, we repeat it for years, so obviously our brain changes because we need to create less resistance in order to do behavior again because we've been doing it like so many times. So that's what neuroplasticity actually is, okay? Okay, so you don't need to worry about your brain changes because again, uh, something I mentioned a lot in my videos, there was a study done on methamphetamine users and that for 14 months, okay, for 14 months they stopped using the methamphetamines, you know, the, the drug of their preference basically, and they were at the peak of the brain changes based on brain scans because the brain changes don't compel you to use the drug or porn Again, all it does is it creates this kind of like more— it makes it more efficient to do the behavior again when you choose to do it again. Because I won't say that, for example, oh, the guy plays so much basketball, so now he's compelled to play basketball. Or the guy that is, you know, playing the piano and that his brain changes because of that, he's not forced or compelled to play the piano. He only does it when he wants to. And now playing the piano because he He played it a lot and his brain changed as a result. Now he doesn't need to think that much about where the different notes are, okay? That's what happens and he can play efficiently, right? Using his short-term memory, meaning the moment he thinks, boom, he can play very quickly instead of thinking your way through like, okay, but the note is here, oh no, is it here or not? This is what happens, okay? So the desire. But now what creates desire, okay? What creates a desire can be a plethora of things. Obviously, okay? Let me explain, okay? The desire can be created, for example, for porn. We'll give you like the most simple reasons why people do it, okay? Pleasure, okay? There's pleasure, there's emotional relief, okay? I'm gonna give you the basic ones that if you debunk, like you'll literally see that the desire for porn is just a fake one. Not necessarily a fake one, but it's just like something that you create inside of your own mind rather than porn actually giving it to you, okay? There's emotional relief, there's the sexual relief, okay? And a very popular one that most people are not aware of is the feeling of masculinity, okay? I know you think, no, porn makes me like less masculine, but the truth is, you need to understand that we've been brainwashed basically, okay? So these are like the four most popular ones. There's also other ones that are more in the subconscious, meaning like based, for example, on past experiences that create some form of beliefs that you're not put into porn and now you watch porn and you think that porn is gonna give that to you. But let me explain to you one thing, okay? We have our own mind. Our own mind is literally, you know, If we believe in something, we're most of the time going to, you know, act according to that. For example, I talk about in the first chapter of my book Jim Jones, right? Jim Jones was like a very popular, um, cult leader that, you know, in the 1900s, basically— I think it was the 19— yeah, it was 1900s that— I know I'm forgetting like very simple things that I have in my book, but in the 1900s, he literally had this cult and he made people believe that he was like a messiah, basically, right? Like a prophet. And it basically went on and just like, um, convinced, you know, his cult to do like different things. And he was able to kind of like, um, tell them to believe basically the opposite of what they've been believing in, right? And at one point, they literally relocated to, uh, Guyana, which is in South America. And it went to the point where it's like, they were like starving. They had no food. Jim Jones, the leader, was eating like all of the meat. He was eating like all of the good food. They were working like 18 hours a day doing physical work. They were like, you know, their babies were getting stolen, whatever. But they still kept on going at it. Not necessarily because they were like in different location, they couldn't get out, but because they just, believed that he was gonna give it to them, right? And, you know, it made them believe that like, you know, it was like a spiritual thing, right? It was like a prophet and that, you know, if they were gonna die, you know, it was like for the greater cause. And so they gave them Kool-Aid, right, that was laced with poison and they all drank it, even the babies. They gave it to the babies. They all died. I think 800 people died just for the belief that they were gonna get something, or they were doing it for a bigger cause, okay? But the truth is, you know, it was just a pure fahs, okay? So what we need to understand is, if we strongly believe in something, our actions are gonna be aligned with that, and sometimes that can be very detrimental. We think porn is giving us a lot of pleasure. Let me tell you one thing. Pleasure is first in the mind, okay? Pleasure is in the mind. I'm gonna get a lot of pleasure from playing basketball, but another guy might not get any pleasure from playing basketball. Some people get a lot of pleasure from watching homosexual porn, but I'm pretty sure for you, you're not gonna feel any pleasure, right? Except if you actually like it, right? So the thing is, it's based on how you perceive that thing that you're gonna get pleasure. For example, there's also the fact that there's the settings, right? Settings, a lot of people might know about this, but For example, if I'm at a friend's party and suddenly they put porn on the TV, I'm not gonna be like, "Oh my God, this is so pleasurable, I'm gonna jerk off in front of everyone." No, because the settings kind of say that you're around other people, let's not do it right now, right? Or it's not even pleasurable because I'm around other people, it's weird, right? That's what you perceive. Other people might perceive the opposite and actually do those taints in front of other people, but that's another thing, okay? So pleasure is completely within the mind, right? If, for example, you're feeling a lot of pleasure watching porn and then someone walks up on you, do you still have that pleasure? Because people think pleasure is like on a chemical level, that like you'll feel it even though you don't want to, right? Uh, you know, even though— even if, let's say, for example, let's say you're playing basketball, right, and you're having a lot of pleasure, and then after you stop playing basketball, you actually feel better, right? It's still like you kind of feel like It was very pleasurable. Well, the thing with porn is if someone walks up on you whilst you're watching porn, now boom, all of that pleasure is gone. The reason why, okay, is that porn is simply one thing, okay? It's a fantasy. It's nothing besides that, right? If you look at, you know, if you watch porn recently, for example, I'm not exactly sure what's like the advertisement like on porn nowadays, But what I can tell you is sometimes they add like those advertisements based on what other people said that like, you know, they say, go and play your favorite fantasy because that's what it kind of provides. It's not porn providing it to you, it's you creating that own fantasy. For example, a lot of people like to visualize their dreams, right? They like to visualize those things. So with the fantasy, we can realize that, you know, the fantasy is literally something that, for example, when people visualize their dreams, right, they will feel the emotions, whatever it is that they perceive that they will have in that situation. So for example, they might feel pleasure, literally, if they think of having a family, right? If you really visualize yourself, for example, waking up in the morning, right, let's say something that you actually want, right, and me and you want. Let's say you wake up in the morning, right? You're in your bed and you wake up, it's 8:00 AM, and you see your wife just cooking up some breakfast. And then you see your kid that starts like running towards you and he wants a hug. And you know, you just, your wife looks at you with admiration because you're a strong man and you believe in God. You know, now when you visualize that, you kind of like sense like that feeling of feeling good, for example, right? You feel that maybe confidence, you feel maybe that pleasure, right? And that's what happens, okay? It's just that same thing happens with porn. It's just that people kind of like mix the physical sensation of masturbation, because if you were to just watch porn alone without masturbating, it would be like the most useless thing on earth, right? In your mind. I'm not saying like for me, that's what I believe, but from your perspective, it would be like, what's the point, right? If there was no masturbation. Because that's what we need to realize. And even masturbation alone is like, when we kind of remove those things, when we remove all of the perceived pleasure, the perceived benefits that we're attached to it, we're just like, masturbation is just like you physically stimulating yourself. If you were to do it with full awareness, you'd realize that there's nothing special to it. And then porn is just like that thing that is a video of people having sex, right? It's like, I wouldn't personally watch a video of people eating food in order to satisfy my hunger or to get pleasure as if I was eating like real food. It wouldn't make sense. Same thing applies with porn, just that with porn we have like so many like, you know, false ideas on our mind. For example, we also like couple that with masturbation, then we think the physical sensation of masturbation is what makes porn pleasurable, but it doesn't make any sense, okay? That's what we need to understand. And look, uh, there's also studies done on this, but the first reaction that people have to to porn is most of the time shock, disgust, and just curiosity, right? And with time, they have what we call a cultivated preference. For example, they start learning to like that thing. But like anything else, for example, black coffee, disgusting at first, it's like the worst thing on earth. But with time, it starts tasting better, right? There's a study done on this that, on drugs, right? Where they took 150 young males, right? This is the British investigations that done this. They took 150 young males who never took drugs. They gave them opiates, which is like a painkiller drug that people get hooked on. And out of those 150, only 3 wanted to repeat the experience. All of the rest didn't like the experience, okay? Because they didn't cultivate that preference. They didn't think like, oh, this was going to be so pleasurable. That's what you need to understand. Your perception is literally what determines everything. Now, emotional belief. Look, I explained this in my last video. Emotional relief, what truly happens is, okay, you have an emotion, but now how do you create emotions, okay? Emotions are cognitive products, okay? So cognitive products essentially means that they are products of your mind, right? So you need to think a certain way in order to get a certain emotion. Emotion. For example, if I was to give you $100 million, right, you'd feel maybe happy, right? You'd be like, wow, this guy's giving me $100 million. You process through your mind, you're like, this is $100 million, wow. And you feel happy, right? That emotion, right, happens. Now, if I give you the same $100 million, but I told you actually this is fake money, this is Monopoly money. Are you gonna feel happy because it is money chemically? Because it's the same paper? You need to understand that your mind processes something and then you feel a certain emotion based on how you wanna feel, right? So that's what happens. So it's a cognitive product. Now, how does that apply to porn? Well, if you really realize that, first of all, also the single thoughts, thing, okay? So what I mean by single thought is your mind can only think of two things at once. That's why, for example, studies show that like, this is maybe out of subject, but study shows that if you multitask, like I do many times, but if you multitask, your efficiency is way less as if someone was actually to do one task because you cannot truly think of two things at once. It's impossible. You can think of one thing and then think of another thing very quickly, but you cannot think of genuinely two things at once, okay? Your mind can only have one thought at once, right? So when we say emotion is a cognitive product, meaning it's in the mind, well, look, if you distract yourself, meaning that you do something else, for example, you go and do a different activity, you go and take a walk, you go and think of your favorite fantasy, you go and visualize your dreams, for example, well, guess what? You're not gonna be thinking about whatever emotion that you're feeling that is negative. For example, stress, right? You're not gonna be thinking of the stressful situation because you're thinking about something else so that, you know, there's not gonna be that cognitive product. There's not gonna be like that feeling inside of you because you're not thinking about what is gonna create that emotion, right? Remember, your mind comes first and then it creates the emotion. So if your mind is focused on something else, that doesn't make that emotion, and for example, it is the fantasy that you're thinking about whilst watching porn, whilst masturbating, then obviously it will be removed. But the thing is, that happens with anything else. Look, when I was feeling down a few days ago, I just like, you know, I was talking with, for example, other friends, I met them, and I wasn't thinking of whatever, right? I wasn't thinking about that stressful situation I had, so I wasn't feeling it. It's normal. But then when you stop thinking, now the stressful situation, you know, might— if you decide to think about it, you're going to still feel the stress afterwards, right? Or for example, I might be in my car, right? And I'm thinking about this social situation. Then I'm like, no, you know what, I want to think about something else. And then I think about a project that I want to make, and then boom, the stress disappears. Okay, porn is not special. It doesn't release, uh, relief, sorry, stress on a chemical level, nor does it for frustration, nor does it for anxiety, nor does it for depression, nor does it for anything. It's all your mind just deciding to think about something else. That's what relieves it, not the chemical, not the dopamine. Sexual relief, okay? Sexual relief is a huge one because we just naturally almost think that, you know, if you're watching people having sex and, you know, you're, you're, you kind of like getting that sexual relief, okay? Well, the thing is, okay, the sexual relief truly, first of all, we need to realize that there's a huge difference because most people think that sexual relief is so important because it's linked to our survival, right? Humans always used to reproduce, right? You hear the stories about like, you know, kings had like multiple wives back then, whatever. But what we need to understand is it's not a survival need, okay? What we need to understand, it's like a desire, okay? Meaning that if you also look at societies, society is based on how they condition the members of the society. Sometimes some people are sexuals, meaning that they don't even want sex. Some other people, for example, I've seen a tribe recently in, I think, South America on an island that literally practice abstinence for, several years after wife gives birth, right? Literally several years, right? And they have no problem doing that. They don't show any arousal of, I mean, any sexual arousal. I'm talking very fast, but they don't show any sexual arousal in public, yet they practice abstinence for a long time, okay? So it's not about survival, it's not a survival need, right? It's simply a desire, okay? So for example, some people choose to have kids, some people choose to not have kids. It's based on how they perceive having kids, if it's something they desire or not, right? Yeah, you can say that humans, they want, for example, sex, right? And I'm not gonna deny that, right? We're born wanting to be with the opposite sex, but we can condition ourselves in both ways, meaning we can condition ourselves to lust so much, or we condition ourselves to just not lust at all. We can decide to never have sex, and we can decide to have plenty of sex, right? We decide how we want because our mind, right, our consciousness, right, is literally 100 times more powerful than your brain chemistry, than your body chemistry, okay? So that's what we need to understand. That's why you have full control. That's why I always say, like, you know, there's some people that, for example, they have plenty of casual sex. They say like, oh, you know, I cannot stop. It's like, you know, it's just part of me, whatever. And other people, they're like never gonna want to even have casual sex, even if the opportunity is presented to them. Okay, and it's just based, you know, one, for example, might believe in God and might believe in, you know, um, his religion, so he's not going to pursue that. That's his reason why, right? His desire is to pursue what his religion says. The other guy, for example, might be like, well, no, this is the best and most pleasurable thing on earth. I don't care about religion. And that's what they do, okay? So the thing is with sexual belief also is that Look, okay, you have, this is very important, you need to understand this, okay? You have a sexual drive, okay? Okay. What I mean by sexual drive is just like any, for example, emotions, you kind of have that drive within you, not drive as in like you're forced to do, but drive as in like an hardware, okay? You have the hardware to feel anger, you have the hardware to feel fear, you have the hardware to feel stress, but that doesn't mean you feel those things randomly, okay? Doesn't mean like you're in the middle of a conversation and you feel anger, right? There's always reasons why behind. It's just people are not aware sometimes like why they're feeling a certain way or they don't even wanna confront it. That's the thing, okay? But there's always a reason why. So for example, that sexual drive is that hardware that doesn't get activated randomly. It gets activated if you want to activate it, okay? For example, let me give you the example of fear. You don't feel fear out of nowhere. You feel fear when you see something that you think is, you know, you think that it's scary, or you think about something scary, and now you feel fear because you reason that it is reasonable to feel fear because for whatever reasons, okay? And look, you can watch an horror movie and feel no fear. You can watch another horror movie and feel a lot of fear, right? It is based on how you interpret those things, okay? Now, same thing with sexual drive. Like, if you decide that you don't want to activate it because there's no benefits for you, for example, uh, you don't— you think it's just a waste of time and you don't want to be just in a fantasy because you think that's, that's what weak people do, for example. Well, look, you might just decide to not feel any— you know, you might decide to never fantasize, to not just like arouse yourself randomly, right? But for some other people, they constantly arouse themselves, they constantly fantasize because they have link some benefits to it. So that's, for example, they think that they fantasize because they have a lot of testosterone, so they just, they decide to fantasize unconsciously so that it can signal to them that they have a lot of testosterone, that they're a man, right? That's what men do, right? That's just a natural way, right? So that's what they do. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. And that's what happens, it's sexual drive. There's a monk, for example, very popular, um, story of like an 80-year-old monk that literally never saw a woman his entire life. You think he had sex? Okay? That's what we need to understand. There's other people that practice abstinence, right? There's people that wait until marriage for many years, right? There's people that never masturbate in their entire lives, nor do they have sex for many years. That's what we need to understand. It's not a survival need, it's just a desire. Because imagine, right, you never watch porn, you never masturbated because you've never been exposed to it, and on top of that, you're a religious person, so you're waiting until marriage. Well, look, you might have the desire, right? I'm not saying you're not gonna have the desire. But imagine you're like 25 years old and you never done those things and then you die. That means that you let, you literally live your life without that, right? It's kind of a dumb argument, but you need to realize that the argument of saying that you need a sexual relief and it's very important is just not true, okay? It's just something that we create in our own mind and then we act according to that. And then we use that as an excuse to get those other benefits which we perceive in porn or masturbation. Which is pleasure, emotional relief. Because if I told you the only way to get sexual relief, for example, was to do it through homosexual stuff or through a prostitute, a lot of people will say, "I'm never gonna do, I'm never gonna have sex." I'm not saying that you shouldn't have sex. I'm not saying that you shouldn't watch porn, shouldn't masturbate. It's up to you, it's totally up to you. I'm just saying that those things are like pretty much any other desire. You don't really need to do them, but you can do them and you can want to do them, of course, right? And you can decide however you want them. Some people want it inside of marriage, like for example, for me and for the students I coach. Some people want it as soon as possible with anyone, even with a prostitute, whatever. Some people, they'd rather practice semen retention and do it like, you know, go without it for a year, whatever, right? That's what we need to understand, okay? And then feelings of masculinity, okay? This, why I put this here, okay, is a lot of people when they masturbate, when they watch porn, what they don't realize is they think, oh my God, I'm such a man, I'm gonna release, right? They kind of link that feeling of manhood, of being a man, to porn masturbation, to getting a release, okay? And that's what we need to understand is, look, porn is literally video, okay? It's not because you're a man that you need to see naked women. It doesn't affirm your masculinity. A lot of people believe that unconsciously or they just don't want to accept it, right? Which is normal because it's kind of weird to say. So that feeling of masculinity, what we need to understand is it can be created within our own mind at any time. If I think, for example, of saving a random girl in public from a stranger, I'm going to feel that masculinity just by visualizing in my own mind that thing happening, right? So that's what we need to understand. And you thinking about sex, you can also see it as something not masculine, right? right? For example, when I'm in public, right? And I go to the gym, right? We all know that women at the gym, they wear pretty like, even me, I have way more clothes than them, okay? But that's another topic. But they wear like very revealing outfits, right? And I'm not here to shame them, obviously not. And this is just something which personally I wanna lower my gaze, right? Like I don't wanna look at them in a lustful way. Now the thing I told myself, which I've done, and this is like a, Kind of funny example, but I'm not really a car guy, but at the same time I like cars for the way that they signal success in a sense, right? So I can be, back then when I would see a beautiful car like a Lamborghini, I would just look at it and turn myself like this, right? I would like, oh my God, this looks so beautiful, and start almost fantasizing, right? We can say, not to that point, but you get my point, right? And so I would look at that car and be like, wow, this Lamborghini is so nice. Then I watched just one video, okay, from a popular guy called Iman Gadzhi. And he said like, if you look at cars or if you look at women and you constantly stare over it or you turn your head to look at it, you're just signaling to your own self that you don't deserve those things, that you're never gonna have it, that you're saying to yourself that you're just like not deserving of those things. And at that point I was like, right, it makes a lot of sense because look, you know, why would I look at something and almost put it on a pedestal if I think I can achieve it, right? So if I think I can achieve it, then let's just not look at it, right? Let me feel like I can achieve it just by not looking at it, right? Which is kind of like a weird conclusion, but it just, it made sense to me. So I stopped, you know, yeah, maybe I saw a car, you know, looked at it once and was like, yo, that's nice. And then, you know, didn't look at it. Or sometimes I wouldn't even look at it because I kind of took it to the extreme, you can say. Well, apply the same thing with a woman. I literally apply the same to a woman. I'm at the gym, okay, a woman crossed my path, right? For example, they were wearing like very revealing clothing, right? And obviously, like, if it's in front of my eyes whilst I'm doing like a workout, it's like not my fault, right? We all know this. But I don't look back at them. I don't look at them whilst I'm doing something else, for example, whilst I'm doing an exercise and they're not looking at me. I'm not going out of my way to look at them because I don't want to look at them in any way lustfully. Because again, it's like I'm kind of telling myself, oh, I'm a weak man, I cannot get them, so I'm just going to look at— that's how I perceive it, right? I know it's like a dumb thing, right? We just stop for for the sake of God, which is the reason why I initially wanted to stop. But also, it's like if you really think about it, you can't just think about it. Like, it's literally, it makes sense. Like, if you're looking at women like this, it's just telling yourself that you don't deserve them, right? The guy in the video said, you know, instead, you know, if you look at her, it's either you stop looking at her or you go and talk to her, right? And, you know, from whatever you want to do, right? My English is very bad right now, but based on whatever you want to do, look, it's up to you. Like, you can decide to look at her, you can decide to not look at her. It's up to you. But personally, I believe that if you look at women and you just constantly look at them, it just signals to yourself that you don't deserve to be with a woman, right? So I don't want to be like that, right? And I just think it's like a negative thing. And also, you know, I want to be closer to God, so it just makes a lot of sense. So that's what I'm saying. It's very easy. It's not like your biology is forcing you. It's just like you have a strong reason why to look at women lustfully, right? Of looking at them with this pornified way compared to not looking at them. So obviously you're gonna want to look at women lustfully, right? Now, the thing is the masculinity, that's what I'm saying. Like a lot of people think if they look at women lustfully, then that means that they're masculine. But then I'm looking at like athletes, right? Like very religious athletes and I see them like, They're very masculine, like they're literally fighting, they're literally like doing all of these hard physical exercise, yet they never look at a woman lustfully because they want to be like disciplined. I mean, they want to be closer to God, for example, right? And they don't want to do against what God says to not do, right? So it's like, they're still masculine. So I'm like, bro, it's not because you look at a woman lustfully, it's not because you look at porn, that there's so many naked women, that you're not masculine, that you're not having a lot of testosterone libido. Because even tribes, for example, they show no signs of arousal in public, yet they have way more masculinity. I mean, they literally hunt, right? And sometimes it puts them in a survival situation, which is like the most masculine thing that people would say there is, right? And they're way more capable physically, they're eating way more healthy foods. So we've just been brainwashed, right? It's just societies have been telling us that If you're a masculine man, you're gonna want to watch porn. And that's just like the porn advertisement and so many limiting beliefs that we just need to detach from, okay? So this is the thing you gotta realize. You gotta debunk those things so that your desire, which is, okay, your desire is created based on the value that you perceive in something, right? And once you really stop inflating that object or that idea in your mind with so much perceived value, You just realize that, you know, your desire will just like kind of, you know, decrease, okay? Because desire is very simple. If I'm sick and I perceive a medicine to, for example, heal me, okay, then obviously I'm going to have the desire to take that medicine because I'm going to get that perceived value of being ill, right? And feel like, for example, feeling better, okay? So that's when you need to understand. And if I, for example, and this is what happened to me, if I, for example, see that, let me write it in another color, but if I, for example, I see that, oh, look, that medicine is actually, let's say it's like Tylenol, sorry, let's say it's like a chemical one, right? Let's say it's like a non-natural, okay? And I realized it's actually doing more damage to me and it's not healing me, it's only giving me like a very short relief. Right, and it's actually making my health worse. Now my desire, right, the value perceived is going to be going down, right? It's going to be going down. But if I take, for example, a— if I think, for example, that like, oh, medicine that is natural will actually heal me to the root and will actually help me, uh, get healed, right? And it won't just like give me a slight relief but actually make me feel better in the long term. then maybe now the perceived value will be higher. So I'll want to take the medicine that is natural and not the medicine that is not natural, okay? And this is just a basic example. The same way people eat junk food 24/7 and then they realize that eating healthy, like for example, I have many books that talk about diets and you read that book about eating healthy and you're like, wow, this is way better to eat healthy foods because it's actually, we make multiple mental realizations, for example, oh, eating junk food can create disease. Uh, eating junk food just is— it's not even that good. It's just like a bunch of chemicals. And you realize that healthy foods actually tastes better, that healthy foods actually will heal you, you'll be able to live longer, that you'll be able to feel better constantly, that it actually is one of the best things to eat. And I was like, oh yeah, I mean, eating healthy, just— it's just the best thing. And then boom, you just start eating healthy. That's how, like, I literally don't want to eat junk food. Like, genuinely don't want to eat junk except if I don't, right? Like, genuinely, I'm not saying I'm special or better. I'm just saying that that's my choice that I make based on my desire, because the value perceived in junk food for me is very low, but the value that I perceive in healthy food is very high. Like, I genuinely think that if I eat healthy, I'm going to be able to have like very good-looking kids in the sense that I'm going to be healthy, that I'm going to be able to perform better in every other aspect of life, that I'm going to be able to, you know, I kind of almost like see it to an extreme, but that's just based on my knowledge and based on what I believe, right? And because of that, I really want to eat healthy food and I actually enjoy eating healthy food because of all of those benefits. And also on top of that, even if let's say I was eating junk food, I would still be used to eat, I would still like, if I stopped eating junk food, I would still be easily get adapted to just eating healthy food, okay? So guys, it's really simple. You remove the desire, which you remove by removing the fun perceived, boom, the root cause is completely eliminated, okay? So guys, if you wanna learn more, I actually have a 2-hour free course that I used to give to my students that helped them quit within 14 to 20 days forever, right? I used to give that to my students. Now it's completely free if you join the link in the description, and I'm gonna accept your invite and you can ask me any questions there. So this is Samir Gardner, and I'm out, peace.
