How to Reprogram Your Mind to Hate Lust

I hope you guys are ready because today I'm going to shock your mind and really help you understand where does lust even come from. Okay, most people just believe that lust is something we do because of our biology, because we have a desire for intimacy, you know, for, for connection, for women, just for reproduction, which does make sense, but that's not the reason why you must be thinking about sex all day long. There are deeper reasons that we're going to tackle today, and your perspective around lust is going to change forever. You're going to learn to really remove lust from your life. And this is the exact process I've took with my students to go from constantly fantasizing and thinking about sex to using all of that mental energy towards things that are actually going to help them get married, build families, and get real intimacy. So in this video, I'm not going to show you how to remove your innate desire for intimacy. So in this video, I'm going to show you the reason why you've been constantly thinking about sex to the point where it's almost all you think about. I used to be there and let's start off by explaining the Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Okay? Now, the reason why I'm presenting this pyramid here is simply to understand some basic things before we really dive in. As human beings, we have physiological needs. We have safety and security. We have love and belonging. We have self-esteem. We have self-actualization. Now, it can be argued that these are different, and I'm not here to debate that, but we all know through our own experience that if one of the physiological needs, for example, if you don't have food and you're somewhat starving, you're probably not going to about anything above that, whether it's your job, whether it's relationships, whether it's your goals, your confidence, or any problems in your life, or anything that you want to achieve, because food is the most important thing in front of you right now. Or if I take you and put you underwater and you can't breathe, you're not going to start thinking about anything else or start desiring anything else but to be able to breathe again, right? It is very logical. But within that pyramid, we're going to see that there's certain needs desires that we never really fulfilled the right way, and we're constantly looking to fulfill through lust. And I'm going to show you the exact framework that you can use so that you can completely flip that and not want to lust anymore, and instead use that to your advantage. So first, let's look at childhood. Okay, now before you think everyone says it's about childhood trauma, that's not necessarily the case. But for a lot of people, a lot of the desires and needs were created or were heavily influenced by their childhoods, by things that happened there. So for example, we all know the typical problem that people have where if, let's say for example, the parents never really shown much love or, or never really praised their kids, what ends up happening is that the kid will start to look for other places where he can get that praise or that love. And the biggest problem that we have is that nowadays whenever we face those problems, for example, let's say our parents didn't love us, we don't face that. We don't try to solve it on the spot, especially because we're young or because we have so many distractions. We can just go and play a video game. And just forget about it. And so what happens is you kind of like suppress it, but it stays inside of you. This is what Carl Jung would call the shadow self. So the shadow self is essentially the suppressed parts of you that you're constantly suppressing and you're never really looking at, that were formed in the previous years. That can be childhood as much as it can be teenage years, or as much as it can be adulthood. And since you never really dealt with that, you have certain desires and needs that this shadow self, aka the past version of you that never was able to satisfy those needs or desires, still craves. Now, of course, if you've been watching my videos, you know that the human being can, for example, not be shown love throughout all of his life and still find ways to cope with that naturally, right? Because as human beings, our mind, we have a consciousness, and our consciousness allows us to find solutions to whatever problems that we're facing so that we can either solve the problem or feel better about the problem. But now here's the thing, okay? Let me explain my story. When I was 16 years old, okay, I was at the peak of living through bullying and a lack of love. Now, it's not to play the victim, as I'm actually against the victim mentality and acting as if life is happening to you rather than happening for you. This is just my mindset. But let's be honest, from the age of 12 to 16, I would constantly get bullied, right? There were occasions where I would try to be friends with other people and they would shove me down, they would punch me, they would— I would be the center of attention so that they could laugh at me and insult me and throw jokes at me. I would not be invited by people. People People would ignore me, and I overall felt weak, inferior, powerless. And there were many occasions where I just cried and I felt extremely, extremely low, right? I'm talking about wanting to like literally give up on life. And on top of that, before the age of 16, I also had this problem where no woman ever liked me, and I really, really wanted to have this love in my life because not only am I getting bullied where I'm not getting accepted, I'm getting rejected, I'm not getting this respect from other people, but also women, love, which was something I was trying to get from other people, I was not even getting from women. And I didn't face those problems head on. I would instead go and play video games and just escape from those problems, right? So what happened is this 16-year-old version of me had essentially 4 years of constantly being bullied, not facing his problems. I wouldn't say trauma, but almost, that was just never dealt with. Now again, it's not to say that it's impossible to deal with these problems. And so what happened is these created needs, or more so, they fueled those needs and desires inside of me to an extreme level where basically I would crave love, connection, and worth because no woman ever found me attractive. I had never even really talked to a woman besides for schoolwork. I believed that I was ugly because some of my friends said so, and I had this belief that no woman would ever want to be with me and that I would die alone essentially. And that also had an impact on my worth. I thought that I was worthless. For other reasons, which we're going to talk about soon. And then on top of that, because of being bullied, I felt powerless. And so I wanted power, I wanted a sense of control, and I didn't feel accepted. And because I was getting rejected, insulted, laughed at, I would isolate myself and I would crave that acceptance. Okay? Now here's the thing that we're now aware of. These needs and desires, you always have an outlet for them. Okay? And that outlet can be anything, anything. Outlet simply means something that you can do in order to satisfy those needs and desires. So guess what? What is popular nowadays? What is one missing? That is constantly repeated either indirectly or even directly to us. Whether that be in real life, whether that be through the media, but whether that be through the music you listen to. You know, think about it. What is the music nowadays talks about? I'll let you figure it out. What is movies like James Bond? What is one component of being this masculine figure like James Bond that a lot of people look up to? What do people at your school nowadays or at your work constantly brag about or talk about and sometimes put on a pedestal? And what do people that we you look up to also say is a tenet of that masculinity or that sense of success in life, right? That is, my friend, what we call lust. Being able to sleep with as many women as possible. We know that the red pill is known for that. We know that the rappers nowadays, they talk about that, and that's one of the most popular forms of music that we listen to. The movies where there's masculine characters like James Bond, yeah, always has this beautiful woman that he sleeps with. And all of these, they give this message that lust is a way, and one of the best ways to get power, acceptance, love, connection, worth. Think about it. The rappers talk about how they're able to sleep with so many women and sleep with the women of their enemies, which is a sign of power because they get to do something which other people can't do. The movies like James Bond, for example, shows that James Bond is so special in terms of his worth as a man that all of the women want to sleep with him, the beautiful women. Your environment, the people around you that you might want to be accepted by, they talk about, oh yeah, I slept with this beautiful woman last weekend. Oh yeah, I watched this type of porn. It's so fun. Oh, you're a virgin? You're a loser. These guys are virgins, they're losers. And then you have role models like Andrew Tate where he mixes literally a traditional message of love is important as a man, you need to have a woman in your life and treat her well, whatever, but also preaches that he essentially sleeps with multiple women that allows him to then find the right woman, right? Because as they say, the one that sleeps around the most will be more attractive to women. And so you think, well, if I'm more attractive to women, then that means I can find a woman that will love me and I can have a connection to. So here's what I did with one my students. This is a live exercise, the exact response that they gave me. Okay? So I went on and I said to him, look, be honest with me. You don't have to hide anything. You don't have to say everything, but I want you to accept that you want to lust and that you like lusting, right? So we put him in acceptance where he is not resisting anything and he's just honest with whatever he desires. And I said, okay, why do you lust? Why do you want to lust? And then he said, because I like to fantasize about women, right? So the process requires you to ask why multiple multiple times in order to really find the deep reason why he's doing it. So I say, okay, why do you like to fantasize about women? Oh, because it feels good. You know, it feels pleasurable. That's what he said, right? And then I say, okay, why does it feel good? Why does it feel pleasurable essentially? Oh, it feels good or pleasurable because I like watching women. So I was like, okay, why do you like watching women? Oh, because it feels like it's me with them. I can pleasure that woman in front of me. I was like, okay, okay. Why do you want to pleasure her? Oh, to make her happy, show that I care about her. I was like, okay, why do you want to make her happy and show that you care about her? And he says, oh, I want to be with someone because I felt alone What did you crave when you were alone? What did you want when you were alone for that long time? Right? Because we're essentially going back to the past version of himself. And that guy is in his early 30s and that kind of went back to his early 20s and parts of his childhood where he said, well, I want to be valued, cared about, loved, to be appreciated. So I was like, why do you want those things? And then we together worked on looking at his background and he essentially told me that his parents were not really there for him, that he couldn't talk to them about things that concerned him, that his dad was very abusive. He called him stupid. He never received any type of encouragement from his dad. It made him feel like his parents didn't like him. He felt lonely. He felt abnormal. He didn't feel valued, like he didn't matter. Now I have about 4 years of experience coaching people, not just when it comes to quitting porn and masturbation, but overall self-improvement, things related to psychology and different topics along those lines. So I was quick to make the realization that his belief, okay, his belief is that a woman could make him feel valued, valued, cared about, loved, appreciated. Now here's the thing, okay? Here's literally how he thought, okay? And that was literally just this realization alone literally allowed him to quit porn, masturbation, and lust forever. And now he's a complete changed man. It's like he doesn't even care anymore about these things because he realized where all of this originated. We made the unconscious conscious. And once that happens, it's like you neutralize the problem and you can just completely get rid of it in an instant, okay? It is that powerful. And so, okay, a woman could make him feel valued, cared about, loved, appreciate, right? That was his belief. And in order to keep a woman, in his mind, that was his belief, right? Based on how he grew up and the media consumed and what he was exposed to essentially. In order to keep a woman, that he needs to be good at sex. Do you understand? Because initially he came to ask me, Samir, why is it that I think about sex so much that it's like, it's just one of those things that is constantly on my mind? So I was like, why don't we look at those desires, those needs that you might be looking to fulfill through thinking about sex? So sex becomes important because it means in fulfilling his needs that he always wanted to fulfill. If he is able in his mind or in real life to feel and experience sex, then that means that he's able to experience being valued, cared about, loved, and be appreciated. That was his belief. So of course, at any time where he would feel low, anytime where he would feel lonely, where he would feel like he was not progressing in life, he would think about sex because thinking about sex as a byproduct for him meant that he would be able to visualize himself being valued, cared about, loved, appreciated. It. Because how the mind works is that if you think about something and you visualize it, just like we do with thinking about sex, we feel as if we are doing it, right? And so we feel as if we are satisfying those needs, those desires, even when we're not. But just the mere fact that we are able to visualize it to the point where we can feel it, where we can use our imagination to feel certain emotions, then we will be somewhat attracted to imagine such scenarios as they will produce those emotions, as they will produce those feelings, as if we are satisfying those needs and desires. So in his mind, the best outlet to satisfy those needs and desires was sex, to think about sex. And of course, if he could, but since he was a man of faith, he didn't want to engage in premarital sex. But that's one way that people would do it, either to think or do the act itself. Now, there's a simple solution to all of this. It is so simple, anyone can do it. And if you do it, okay, not only will you leave porn, masturbation, and lust, and it will feel as almost as if you were castrated in a sense where you don't really care about sex, but at the same time, you're so motivated to work and do what's required in order for you to achieve either that's marriage or having kids or intimacy. But it's like lust is not really going to be something which you are going to constantly think about and you're going to drastically reduce or maybe even completely remove that desire. And instead, all of your focus, all of your mental energy is going to be used towards what's going to allow you to then achieve the goal in regards to real intimacy, whether that be marriage, family, kids, kids, whatever. So the simple solution is what we call redirection. Now, in order for you to redirect these desires towards something that's going to drastically change your life, you need to ask yourself two questions. Okay? First, what are your needs? Usually there's gonna be 2 to 3 main needs that you're going to have. Now, there can be more, but they're going to be similar to each other. So what are your needs? You know, when you're about to lust, we never really pause and think, why do we even wanna lust in the first place? What is it that I actually want? Like deep down, Let me be honest. Let me not judge myself and just be completely blunt. What do I actually want? What do I actually desire? What do I think I'm gonna get out of that lust? We never really reflect on that, but once we do, we realize what actually do you want or need? Oftentimes those needs and desires will be around attention slash love slash connection, or they'll be around power slash control slash status. And there can be more, but really just identify those 2 to 3 needs. And then you wanna just simply ask yourself the simple question of what will be the best outlets for those needs. Now imagine that you have a certain goal in your life, or you have values and morals. For example, you believe in God and you believe that you should dedicate your life to God and you should dedicate your life to the worship of God in your day-to-day. Then it's like, what will be the best outlet, right? And we're going to show you certain examples soon, but what will be those outlets for those needs? Really reflect on that. Now, here's me, the 16-year-old version of me. What I wanted at that time after being bullied for 4 years was power, acceptance, love, connection, worth. Now, some of them are similar, as you can see, but what I did unconsciously at that time is that I redirected my outlets. My outlets used to be PMO so that I can feel as if I'm having intimacy and then get some form of worth. Okay? Because I was like, if I can sleep with those women, then that means I'm attractive, I'm worthy, I'm the man. Power was a bit silly, but I would be very good at video games. I would be playing almost at a competitive level. So for me, I would quote unquote satisfy that need of power through video games because I would dominate the opponents and I would be able to trash talk online. Fine. So I add basically negative outlets because they're objectively not going to give me a net positive to my life. And one of them is sinful. So what you can do with these is you can redirect them towards positive outlets. Okay, let me show you. For example, God is the number one thing for believers. If you have God, then it can basically satisfy every needs and desires if you really understand the faith on a deep enough level, because you'll see that first of all, objective morality comes from God. Second, usually faith has answers for every single problems in life. Another example is power, right? So for example, for me back then, it's like I'm being bullied, I'm getting shoved on the ground, I'm getting hit. Well, if I learn martial arts, then I know that I won't have to deal with that sense of powerlessness anymore because I can defend myself. Very logical. Worth, for example, a lot of people do that through entrepreneurship or their career where they're going to work long hours so that they could either create a result that will show their worth to the rest of society, which obviously if you do out of pride is sinful, or it can be I'm going to work and use work as a way for me to test myself and my limits and give that respect to myself because I'm going to be a man of my word and I'm going to work every day and really go and do things that will benefit my life. So now your need for self-worth is being fulfilled through a positive outlet, you can say. Love, a lot of people, for example, they want to be married and that's where they're going to have love. And so they think, well, in order for me to attract a woman, maybe I need a good physique. Maybe I need to go to the gym and have that strength and have, maybe it's an aesthetic physique, right? All of this depends on your beliefs, obviously. And then connection, it can be like, you know what, the best way for me to fulfill this need for connection would be for me to start a family. Now again, This can be anything. This can be negative or positive outlets. Obviously choose positive outlets, ones that are aligned with your morals and values and that are net positive. And so you have these positive outlets. Here's the 3-step process to do, okay? First, you're going to remove your current outlets, okay? So you're going to say, you know what, lust is not going to be a part of my life, or at least have the intention of removing lust, let's say, right? And that could be, for example, you are going to stop consuming information or you're going to block access to videos videos, which might promote this message that lust will give you love, will, will help you with status, with power, with, with acceptance, all of those things, right? So for example, I used to watch red pill YouTubers, and then back then I would think, well, if I can sleep with women, then finally I'll have this sense of worthiness. I'll fulfill this need for worthiness. That's what I was thinking unconsciously. And so I cut that off and then it forces you naturally to choose a better outlet. So that's the thing. But then you can also just simply choose positive outlets right after that and be like, you know what, instead of me putting my my worth on women and wanting to satisfy that need for self-worth through sleeping with women or being able to sleep with women and constantly thinking about that. Instead, I'm going to— maybe it's going to be getting closer to God. Maybe it's going to start a project where you can say, I'm going to be a man of my word and I'm going to build that self-trust, which is going to satisfy that need for worth. It can be, I'm going to start a project and I have a purpose around it so I can tie my self-worth, so to say, on that. Now again, be careful that it's not something you do out of pride because at the end of the day, your intention matters in the eyes of God, right? And then third, if you want, this is optional, but this is very, very powerful. And I've been doing that on multiple areas of my life. And trust me, it is almost dangerous because you can easily go to an extreme with that. And that is to build internal conviction. Now I show you here examples of what, on how you can build an internal conviction. What is it? If you ever read a book on a certain subject, for example, diet, Right? Let's say you read a book on why junk food is bad for you and that eating healthy will give you a wide array of benefits. Trust me, if you do read that book, it's going to be hard for you in the next few weeks or even in the long term to just eat a lot of junk food. And so your chances of you eating junk food is going to drastically reduce whilst your probabilities of you eating healthy food is going to increase by a lot. And so one of the things that I've been doing, and this is just a small little tip that is so powerful. So whilst I have some free time and I'm doing tasks that might not be productive, either I will spend time with my thoughts, which is very beneficial, but it doesn't help in that case. Or what I'm going to do is I'm going to have headphones on and I'm going to search up something along those lines. So for example, if one of my needs or desires is love, or let's say it's worth, and then I can just be like, you know what, I'm going to type how starting a business changed my life. Let's say I wanna start, I was interested in business and I wanna satisfy this need for worth, then I can just search that up. It can be like, oh, I want love in my life. I chose the positive outlet of working out. So let me type how being in shape will help you to get married, for example. And so what's going to happen is you're going to have, you're going to be stacking evidence for you, for your mind, evidence on top of evidence and benefits on top of benefits and reasons on top of reasons to the point like you're going to have so many of these that you're just going to want to do the positive outlet. You're going to become obsessed with it. Why is it that you think that some people can work all day long consistently and love what they're doing essentially, even if, if it's boring and hard hard for the rest of society and they can, for example, show up to the gym and love going to the gym even if it's uncomfortable. It's because of that. It's because of really stacking those reasons over time or just stacking those reasons as you can do now to fast track this process is just search up that information. This has been life-changing for me. It went, allowed me to go from giving up on my work when it would be uncomfortable to pushing through and just doing much, much and much more, right? Simply search something based on that need or desire that you have and say, how would that outlet help? About that. That's going to create internal conviction that this can satisfy it. And man, your life trajectory is going to change forever. So here's what's going to happen if you really do this process properly. Your biological desire for real intimacy, love, reproduction, whatever, you know, for to be with a real one, because we know we are born with that innate predisposition to want to be with women, right? We're not going to condition ourselves to the point where we remove that desire, which we can, but it is first of all going to be a bit hard. And second, it's going to be unnatural and just overall negative. And so you're going to have the desire where it's like you still want to have intimacy, love, reproduction. So, you know, for example, if you are hungry for food, you're not going to like necessarily fantasize about eating food, even though you might think of it, right? You might think of, oh, it would be nice to eat that food. Let's say you're fasting, for example, and you can only eat at 5:00 PM. You're gonna be like, oh yeah, it's gonna be nice to eat that food at 5:00 PM. Oh yeah, it's going to be nice to eat that food at 5:00 PM. But instead what you're going to do is naturally you're going to find a way to deal with that or to solve that problem. So if let's say your goal is to married, right? So instead of fantasizing and lusting about that, now your desire will be drastically reduced to just fantasize and lust, cuz you'll realize that those needs and desires don't have to be attached to that. And you have better positive outlets. And so what's going to happen is now you'll just be doing the work and you're still going to have the desire, but it's like the desire is just in the the thing most people think, if I think about sex all day long, surely it's going to allow me to be motivated to work harder on myself so I can get married and then have that sex. But what happens in reality is now that fantasy and that lust is just distracting them and they're not getting anything done to get closer to that. Whilst on the opposite side, if you want to not fantasize and lust, what's going to happen is naturally you're going to be working towards finding a way to fulfill that need or desire. And that, my friend, will drastically change the trajectory of life forever. If you want more videos like these, just subscribe. I'm uploading multiple videos every week. And comment down below what the next video should be about.