How to Rewire Your Brain to Quit Porn

Okay guys, today we will talk about how to rewire your brain so that you can fully recover from your porn consumption. This works even if you've been watching porn for the past 10, 15, 20, 30+ years. I will show you the evidence. I will show you how neuroplasticity, which is how your brain changes and how your brain adapts, can be used to your advantage and how it works, and I'll really make it simple so you can understand it and rewire your brain as soon as possible. So the first thing we need to understand is that brain changes is affected by learning. If I learn how to juggle, I juggle 3 different balls at the same time. We see that people start, and at first it's very hard to just even throw 2 at the same time, let alone 3. But then as time goes on, they get better, they practice, they practice, and eventually it's something that they don't even really need to think about. It's like their brains just help them automate this. They just throw the balls around. It's pretty effortless. And this is what happens. The brain actually changes so that it doesn't have to use as much energy, as much time, as much resources to do something you keep on doing. Because if you keep on doing something, if I do something frequently, then of course the brain wouldn't want to just constantly have to figure out, how do I throw the ball? Is it like this? Or what kind of angle? And overall just use so much mental energy. So the brain actually changes. And there is a famous study on London cab drivers, taxi drivers around London, who had to remember so many different streets that the average human beings would have a hard time remembering or memorizing. And yet with practice, with time, they managed to do so. And they saw the brains actually changed. You can search that up, was done in the year 2000. Now here's what happens with porn specifically. People are stuck in a loop where we never watch porn when we feel happy. It's oftentimes when we feel some type of negative emotion, we're stressed out, we're lonely, we're bored, we're thinking about our traumas, we're thinking about something that makes us anxious, and so on. So then we go to porn, and then we think we get a relief. Now we We don't actually get a real relief. It's a pure placebo, but that's not the topic of this video. We get the quote-unquote relief, then we do it again. We are in a loop. What happens is we learned, we've been practicing watching porn so much, just like the guy practicing juggling, we've been watching porn for so many years that we learned that PMO, porn masturbation, is the best way to cope, the best way to escape. If we became so good at something, we don't have to spend as much mental energy trying to think of, oh, I can maybe read a book, I can maybe go for a walk. Oh, we know there's porn, we've done it so much, we've practiced it so much, so we decide to go there. Now the key point, the thing you really, really need to remember, listen carefully, your brain changes. They allow you to repeat the process without having to spend as much mental energy as you did before. They create a shortcut, but they don't force you to go and do it again. They don't compel you. They don't create the desire whatsoever. They don't create an urge, a temptation, a trigger, none of that. If we were to say that, we would be saying, "I don't really have control over myself. My brain is making decisions for me." But the reality is we are in control of our brain. The only issue we have here is that you've practiced porn so much that it's the only thing that's really familiar to you. It's not because porn is so special because of the dopamine, the chemicals, the appealing nature of seeing naked women. It's not because of that. As human beings, we will go to the things that are the most familiar, the things we've done the most, because it will be easier for us to do so. And that goes to my third point. The old path is essentially porn. Oh, let me just go to porn because That's what I did. And just look at the first time you ever watched porn. I always give this example. If you really look at your first experience with porn, if you can really remember it, you'll see that at first it's very hard. It's almost stressful. You're anxious, you're maybe sweating. You don't know where to search. You don't know what to do. You don't know which websites, which videos to click, what you should do. But then as time goes on and you do it more and more and more, you get better at it., then your brain adapts to that. And now it knows in 2 seconds, okay, you feel stressed, I can just type P-O-R-N, and then I can just scroll on this page because I've been on this website before and I know the best videos are there. And then I can watch the video, I can scroll to that video. It becomes something that you don't really need to think so much about. You know exactly where to go to get that relief as soon as possible. And then you delete your history. And as you can see, It doesn't mean that just because something is easy to you that it will force you to do it, but rather, I'll repeat this again, it's only that your brain automated the process and knows what to do. It knows the path, so it's easier for you, but you are the one in control of if you wanna watch porn or not. Your brain is not in control of that, and I'll give you evidence for that very soon. Old path, okay, lemme just go to porn, that's the only thing I know. The problem that most people have is the new path. Okay, how can I deal with stress? How can I deal with boredom? How can I deal with loneliness? How can I deal with my traumas, the emotional pain I feel, the stress at work, this feeling of hopelessness? Most people do not seek ways to really deal with them. And even if they do so, they have to adapt. So for example, for me, I've left porn a few years ago. So now if I want to cope, if I want to escape, I've built new habits that I personally, with full conviction, feel like are so much more better when it comes to coping with these emotions and problems in life than porn. And because I've not watched porn in such a long time, it would be almost uncomfortable for me to watch it again, just like when I used to watch porn and it would be so easy for me to just click on the website, delete my history, watch this video. And you can think about it like a routine. You know when you're home, you have your routine, you go do your coffee in the morning, you go at your desk, you do this specific task, maybe you read a book and then you go on your computer and it's very easy. But then the day you change your environment, you don't really feel comfortable. You're now, let's say you're in a new country, you're traveling, like the coffee is not there. You have to think about where can I go and get coffee? Oh, I gotta walk 5 minutes and then I need to set up my desktop. I need to have my laptop here. Okay, but I need to, know what's the Wi-Fi. Okay, the Wi-Fi is slow, how can I deal with that? Like, there's so many things you have to adapt to. The longer you stay in that environment— let's say you're traveling to Spain and you stay there for 2 weeks— by the end of those 2 weeks, now you will have automated your routine. Now you know, okay, let me just walk there in the morning, get my coffee, then get on my desktop, and you'll be much more efficient. It's the same exact thing we do with the routine of PMO, of getting to the bed, watching the videos, scrolling in the website. Typing the exact video you want to watch. Your brain allows you to be more efficient, to not waste time, energy. You can do the same exact thing with PMO. There's different ways to go about it, to make it easier, to build new habits and so on. I'm not going to get into that. That's something I work with people one-on-one, and it's really, really helpful, and it really allows them to really move on forever because they don't need PMO to cope anymore. Now, the value question. If you are in a position where you say "Look, Samir Gardner, I just feel like I'm addicted, that my brain is so messed up that I just think about porn all of the time. I just can't really control myself. I feel like I'll just fall at any moment if I'm like in a stressful situation," which is very common. Let me ask you this. If I were to give you $100 today— now, for some people watching this, this might not be much, but a lot of people, if you were to give them $100 and they were in that state, but they couldn't watch porn? Would they lose control because of their brain changes? Or would they say, "Oh, the money is more important, therefore I'm not going to watch porn." Therefore this whole thing of I do it because of brain changes is not because of brain changes, it's because of the root causes, because of the reasons why you wanna watch porn in the first place. If I were to say, okay, for the rest of your life, if you don't watch porn every single month, I'll give you $10,000 every single month. Do you think that there's gonna be a month you're gonna be like, "Huh, you know what, let me watch porn because I don't mind trading $10,000 for one porn session." So you see, it's really a question of value. The money is more important than porn. Therefore, I know like even if I'm super addicted, I just, let's say, done it 5 times in a row, and tomorrow you tell me to do this, I'll do it effortlessly. Yeah, I might have some thoughts, but I'll really just throw them to the side and I'll just move on and the money will really motivate me. You see, reward changes choice. And there's actually a study on that study where they gave the option to meth users. We're talking about drugs here. Option between money and their preferred drug, which was meth. They said, here's $5 or some meth., and then they said, I'll take the meth. And then when they increase the $5 to $20, these drug users that were considered to be addicted, they took the $20 over the drug. So that's proof. And we also have a very, very, very interesting study. I love this one. In 2013, PLOS One, they found that not only do people go back to normal when it comes to brain changes after abstaining from the drug, we're talking about drugs, which are obviously much more powerful than a video on a screen like porn or like video games and so on. They found that longer abstinence was also linked with certain parts of their brain actually growing. So because they abstained from the drug, they were better off afterwards than a human being that didn't have to go through a period of abstinence, that never took the drug basically. Specifically with the gray matter, but I don't want to make this too complicated for you guys. So So as you can see, it's not something to really worry of. It's not something you should be focused on. If it was all about the brain and brain changes, then why is it that we don't just go to the brain? Why don't we just go and try to cure the brain using maybe drugs and so on? So then that begs the question, as we've seen with money and the choice to watch porn, if I gave you a certain amount of money, would you watch porn? Most people would say no, because the money is more valuable. So then what makes porn so valuable? And this is the thing I focus on with my clients one-on-one, the root cause. Why is porn so valuable to the point where we wouldn't trade it for life for that? Why is it that we desire porn so much? That is the root cause. And this is what you need to focus on in order to make quitting porn effortless. So if you wanna know more, then you can go in the first link in the description, you can book a free call with me. I will see if you're fit. And if you're not, then I'll just give you some resources for free that you can use on your own. Anyways, I'll see you guys in the next video.