Samir Gardner describes playing video games 16 hours a day and waking at 4 AM for updates, using gaming and pornography to escape a belief formed in high school that he'd never be attractive to women. He felt unworthy and destined to live alone.
Binging video games 16 hours a day sometimes. I remember waking up at 4 AM in the morning after playing until 12 AM. I would wake up at 4 AM because there was a GTA 5 update that I was excited about, and then I would play for the rest of the day. I would bring my Xbox to family friends' houses. Imagine bringing your own Xbox to continue playing your game because you don't want to go somewhere without playing video games. And of course, PMO was very prevalent in my life at that time. And the worst part of all of this was this pain I felt because ever since a young age, ever since like getting into high school, I adopted the belief that I will never ever be able to be attractive to women. I literally— I'm not kidding when I say this— from a very young age, believed that I would live and die alone without ever having a partner, that I was not worthy.
