A man spent two years in the NoFap movement cycling between abstinence and relapse before quitting it entirely. He argues NoFap's streak-based thinking keeps people trapped, and claims his alternative approach of detaching value from the behavior has a 90% success rate with over 200 men he's coached.
4 years ago, I was depressed, lonely, and very isolated kid that just wanted to be loved. And that person also had a big ego. Being bullied, being insulted, being humiliated, I knew that I had to do something in order to prove other people wrong. And one day, as I was looking at videos on how to attract women, because it was not just a struggle for me, but I literally had zero results. But I found out about something called NoFap, and I went on and tried. I did 7 days. The first 7 days, I literally felt like my life changed forever. Literally felt like this is the best thing I've ever done in my life. I'm now gonna be able to prove these people that laughed at me wrong, and I'm gonna be able to attract the woman, right? That's what I thought. But for the next 2 years, I felt like I was in a cycle. I would go 10 days, 20 days, 90 days, 120 days without PMOing and then come back to it. Then I would like add every YouTube videos, how to, how to recover from a relapse, how to stop watching porn, how to stop masturbating, how to get rid of lust. Never worked. I've even managed to go a full year without it and then come back to it. So I thought maybe there's a problem because I was still experiencing these urges constantly. And I was just fighting them off. And that's when I decided to just quit NoFap. And that led me, my friend, to actually quit porn, masturbation, but also remove lust and urges forever. I've now helped over 200 men quit porn, masturbation for good. And the number one thing I can tell you is that in order to really leave porn, masturbation, and lust, and even remove your urges forever, is that you need to leave the NoFap ideology. You need to quit NoFap. Look, I used to play video games 10, 15, 16 hours a day frequently when I had free time. I would play every single day without missing. My grades would literally go down because I wanted to play video games. I literally wouldn't go outside because I wanted to play video games. I was basically what you can consider an addict. But then the moment I decided that, you know what, I'm gonna leave video games behind, my use drastically reduced in the next few days after that. And one month after, I was just not playing games anymore. And I had no desire to play video games. I had no urges to play video games. But guess what? I didn't look at videos on how to recover from video games or how video games impacts my life or how do I deal with the cravings of playing video games. I didn't do any of the NoFap stuff we do with porn. I didn't do it with video games. And guess what? I just left forever. Instant. NoFap just brings this toxic idea in your mind that you are fighting something. And that not only that, it is nofap, but brings this toxic idea in your mind that you are fighting something which you are going to lose for years going on, right? They tell you that basically freedom is, yes, achievable, but very rare. And so you feel like it's just impossible to quit. But guess what? It is a business. NoFap is a business just like anything else. If everyone left porn and masturbation within a few days or weeks, then no one would be on these NoFap communities. No one will be watching these NoFap videos. That's why they need you to come back and relapse. Instead, what I found works best with even my students that I coach personally is I tell them to detach from all of this NoFap ideology and start detaching the value that they gave to porn and masturbation. Masturbation so that they don't even feel like they're attracted to those things anymore. The desires just dissipates. And then after that, I literally tell them, look, now go and live your life on your own. You don't even need to worry about coming back to porn or masturbation because you're not going to if you don't want to. And literally, the success rate is above 90% because of that. Look me in the eyes, porn is not a disease. You haven't caught the disease. It's not even— don't even say that it's an addiction. It is just something that, that you watch that Yes, it has a negative impact on your life, of course, but it is something just like video games had a negative impact on my life that you can leave behind if you want. So do this right now. Go and unfollow all of these NoFap YouTubers, all of this NoFap content. Yes, yes, that might even mean mine, right? And just go and like detach yourself from this thought that you need to do a streak or that you need to fight it off and that you're gonna have strong urges. Stop thinking about that and just live your life. You're gonna see quitting this is way easier than you— obviously, another tip that you can do if you have the time is to go and watch certain videos so that you can detach the value that you're giving to porn so that it doesn't feel like you really need it in your life. Because a lot of people put porn, masturbation, lust on a pedestal to the point where it's like they need it. But you can remove that false need by removing the value attached to it, and then go and just pursue what you wanted to pursue in the first place. Whether it be that career, whether it be to be in relationships, whether it be to get closer to God, whether it be to build that new project that you've been wanting to do for so many years, whether it be to change something in your lifestyle that will literally make you happier, go and do those things. You don't need to be trapped by, oh, I relapsed on day 90, so now I'm gonna feel bad. You don't need any of that. It's just a toxic ideology.
