Porn Recovery Coach Reacts to Dylan McKnight Spending 20,000$ on OnlyFans - Giving My Advice

Today we're going to react to Dylan McKnight, who just made a video about 2 weeks ago where he opened up about lust. Now I've watched a few parts of it and I can tell you guys that this is something that is very emotional. And I just wanna say I highly respect him for being open and vulnerable about something like this because this is not easy to do at all. And many other men struggle with the same exact thing. So in this video, I'm going to give insights in the practical steps that Dylan can take and that you can take as well, so that anyone that is watching the video knows how to move on from porn, masturbation, ochers, lust, and really just keep it out of your life for good. Anyways, let's watch the video right now.

This is not my normal video. I, I don't normally just sit down and talk to the camera, just talk to you guys, um, cuz you know, I, I don't want you to see who I am. That shit's dark. And I know it's social media. I'm supposed to act cool. I'm supposed to show you the sports car I'm sitting in right now. I'm supposed to take my shirt off, show you my physique. I could just pull any girl I want, right? Because that's what you want to see. And what you don't want to hear is that I'm 25. I have a crippling porn addiction. I've spent probably $20,000 on pornography. I have no sex lives because I have erectile dysfunction whenever I try to get with a girl.

First off, I know that for a lot of people, if they spent any amount of money towards porn or towards like prostitutes, for example, or even OnlyFans, they often adopt a self-image that they're very deviant and that they are somewhat like monsters that do this behavior secretly. And I just want to say that you watching porn, you masturbating, doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. And the reason I say this is not to make you feel better. That's not my goal here. My goal is to really show you the truth because the truth is We watch porn and masturbate for specific reasons. And because this is so taboo within our society, we never really look at it from a non-emotional perspective. We always look at porn and masturbation and analyze that behavior with a lot of shame and guilt. For example, if you're brought up in a religious background, then obviously you're going to attach a lot of shame and guilt to it. But even in general, in this culture nowadays, especially if you're in the field like Dylan is in, for example, like self-improvement, fitness, business, it is also a behavior that is mixed with a lot of shame and guilt. And so an important first step that you guys can take and that Dylan can take right now, if he's watching this video, is put the shame and guilt aside. I know it sounds very useless. Maybe you even use shame and guilt as motivation to stop this behavior. But let me tell you, shame and guilt is really holding you back because it destroys your ability to analyze properly any behavior so that you can even make a change on a conscious or subconscious level.

And I'm just sexually confused as fuck, and I'm just really fucked up. I think one of the reasons why I was so drawn to pornography in the first place is because I was raised in a super religious household where like sex before marriage, things like that, there were just these despicable, awful sins, right? And so naturally, in order to satisfy my sexual urges, I was turning towards porn and masturbation instead.

Now, you made an interesting point here, right? He was brought up in a religious background, and obviously being brought up in a religious background can be a blessing if you're a man of faith, right? But on the other side, the only problem, and this is not blaming religion as I am religious myself, but the only problem oftentimes with parents in such household is that instead of trying to understand what do their children want, they often just completely tell them, just suppress that, just don't do that, right? Just don't have casual sex, just don't watch porn, "just don't masturbate, just don't do drugs." And even though we know objectively abstaining from those things is obviously the right path, but the thing is, for example, if you have a desire and you have strong reasons why, for example, for Dylan back then, maybe it was him being like very curious about sex and he really wanted to have sex and really just have that sexual experience. And let's say you have that desire and then the authorities around you, AKA your parents, for example, tell you, "No, don't do that. No, don't do this." Well, he's just going to like end up finding a way to satisfy that or to experience whatever he desires. But at the same time, this event that happened when he was young, it doesn't mean that it will be a long-term reason for him consuming porn. There's oftentimes deeper reasons for a porn consumer to consume a lot of porn.

I'm not a neuroscientist or anything like that, but you just think about starting any behavior at such an impressionable age and then continuing that behavior for 10 years.

Let me tell you, Dylan, something right now. You started at the age of 15, right, which is relatively a young age. And I talked to countless men, right, on a daily basis. And some of them start at the age of 5 because of sexual abuse. Some of them start at the age of 8. Some of them start at the age of 12. Some of them start at age of 15. Some of them start at the age of 20, right? Some of them are in their 50s, 60s, and still watch porn and masturbate. Now, my point with this is some of them decided to leave porn behind and masturbation behind and managed to do so. Obviously, others just kept on doing it. And I just don't want you to really just fall into this limiting belief, per se, of, oh, I've done this for so long, it's going to be either so hard for me to stop or it's going to be nearly impossible. Because this kind of like creates this belief in your mind that you can't really do much about it. So you're not even probably going to try to do much about it in the first place.

And you just think about it, you just think about like what kind of damage, what kind of damage that that could do. You know, my life is ruined, man. I'll never get that picture-perfect family, white picket fence, because I can't love, I can't fucking love. I can't feel fucking anything, man. God, sometimes I just wish I was allowed to be a kid, man. Like, what the fuck was I supposed to do? I was a normal, healthy kid with normal sex drive, and I was taught to suppress it, man. And you wanna know what the most twisted part about all this shit is? Is I'm not even sexually attracted to girls in real life. You wanna know how I know that, man? You wanna know how I know that, man? Because I get erectile dysfunction whenever I try to get with a girl.

I know this is very emotional, right? And when it comes to erectile dysfunction, one key thing which helps a lot of people just completely kill erectile dysfunction to begin with— oftentimes it's not because of the dopamine in porn or because the women in porn are made to be unrealistic. Rather, what happens is Sometimes, and this is just me making assumptions and I don't like making assumptions, right? But I'm going to talk based on the people I've coached. For some of them, it's because in their mind they hold some form of stress, anxiety, and fear when it comes to performing with a real woman. Why is that the case? Because sometimes they might think, well, I've been watching so much porn, so they start feeling stressed out. And when you feel stressed out, let me tell you something, you cannot really get a physical arousal, at least a real strong one, without your mind. And if your mind is focused on that stress, that anxiety, that fear that what if she finds out that I watch porn and I can't even get hard, right? And you have like all of that worry around like your erectile dysfunction, then what's going to happen is obviously you're not gonna be able to be at rocks. So one thing which I've heard before, which is very powerful, is that you don't have porn-induced erectile dysfunction. What you have instead is mind-induced erectile dysfunction. Dylan said that he believes that he can't really have that perfect family in the future. Let me tell you something, Dylan, right now, trust me, some people watch porn literally the most taboo type of porn. Some people, for example, I've coached personally struggle for 20+ years and still manage to build a family, have a good sex life with their partner, and do all of these amazing things. Another thing which you guys need to know is that there's this concept called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is basically when your brain changes so it allows you to do a behavior repetitively by removing the resistance that is initially there. And when you stop a behavior, let's say for example porn and masturbation, and that's even the case for substance users like that use meth, that use opiates, fentanyl, and all of these substances. When you stop doing a behavior, your brain actually starts going back to normal, believe it or not. And on top of that, even if your brain is at the peak of brain changes, you're still able to quit that behavior because your brain changing doesn't mean that it will force you to do the behavior again. What it does instead is that it facilitates the process of doing the behavior again if you choose to do the behavior.

I'm like damaged, I'm like disaffected and it fucking sucks because I don't want to be alone. It sucks, it sucks not being able to feel or give love. I've tried, I've tried relationships and they just fucking fail because I'm a monster. I can't feel anything. Sometimes I feel like I'm a sociopath, something fucked like that. And eventually, eventually you just accept what you are. So you do what you can to feel something because all you ever feel is nothing. You know, so in an effort just to feel some kind of like intimacy, feel something, I started paying girls in real life to do things. Then, you know, what really jacked me up is, uh, one of the girls, she started catching feelings. It's like, damn, like, how do you tell this girl, like, sorry, I can't feel anything, I'm a fucking monster? You know, the last girl, the last girl that I dated, you know, she made me feel like I was normal. And I think that's why I tried to hold on to her so hard. And I know you're watching this video. I'm not strong enough to call or text you, but I just want you to know that I'm sorry.

Dylan, here, the one thing is we don't want to call ourselves monsters. And I know it might sound cliché or even cringe for me to say that because you probably got told that before. But the reality is, if you see yourself as a monster, you kind of like adopt that as your self-image. And we know as human beings, we always act according to how we see ourselves, right? Or self-image. And so if I believe that I am a deviant monster, then I'm probably going to take actions based on my definition of what is a deviant monster. Look, the reason overall why I say that you shouldn't look at yourself as a monster is because the reality with porn, masturbation, lust, hookers, OnlyFans is that it is a learned preference, meaning it is not something which you initially probably enjoyed. And I always like to give this analogy like coffee. Coffee, you probably didn't really enjoy it at first, but then you learned like it with time. It is a cultivated taste. Now, the same thing here with lustful behaviors. Mostly it is— they are things which you learned to like over time. But the reality is there are specific reasons for which you actually like and want to and feel the desire to engage in those lustful behaviors now. And once we really just tackle those reasons, we're going to be able to just finally see why we do it. And when we make the unconscious conscious, it allows us to finally see that you can quit if you actually tackle those reasons. So a good process that I like to follow with every single person I coach in the beginning is, look, accept that you like to watch porn. Accept that you like these lustful behaviors. You're not a monster. You just want to do those things for specific reasons. So just accept that. Accept that you enjoy it, right? Put the shame and guilt aside for a quick second and then ask yourself, what do I genuinely— and don't lie to yourself, don't deny anything— but what do I genuinely get out of it? What do I think that porn, masturbation, lust, hookers, OnlyFans can give to me? And be as honest as possible and really list those reasons. Because once you're going to become aware of those reasons, everything is going to change. You're going to be able to challenge those reasons, or you can do a process which I call debunking, where it's like basically you change your perspective on a deep level about this specific reason. And so because of that, your subconscious and conscious mind now doesn't feel like they want to watch porn, for example, for that specific reason. It might sound complicated, it might sound like very simple. Trust me, it works every single time. That's how humans naturally move on from behaviors when shame and guilt is not attached to them.

I know I hurt you, but you have no idea how beautiful I think you are. And you mean so much to me. And I— And I guess I just wanna say, like, if you're in the same boat as me and you are addicted to this stuff, I just want you to know that you're a good person, man. And I know you're trying, and no matter what you tell yourself on a day-to-day basis, you being here matters, and it matters a lot. You know, I haven't been active on social media in a long time, and you know, it's— I think partially I've just felt very fraudulent. Sort of this imposter syndrome because I've acquired this success, but you guys, you don't really know who I am. I haven't done it authentically. The world doesn't really know who Dylan McKnight is. I feel like a lot of influencers, they try to upplay who they are, create this image that they're like this good guy, and I'm not. I'm not a good guy, and I guess as long as you guys are okay with that and accepting of that, then I guess that's all right. I've been wanting to make content videos for a while now, but it's got to be the right way or it's all for nothing. On a positive note, uh, I'm in phenomenal shape. I'm very natural, uh, currently 5'11", 165 pounds. That's like the definition of natty. So yeah, I, I don't know, I guess this, uh, how do you transition this into something else? This is, you know, I love you guys. I love you guys, man. Um, and I am healing. Like, I'm starting to feel things again, and I'm starting to, you know, be surrounded by good people. I've just felt so hollow for the longest time, and I'm feeling like myself again. Yeah, I'm just starting to feel things like— I know I look like a bitch, man, crying, but like, even just being able to cry, like, you guys don't understand. I've not felt emotions in a long time. So pain, joy, it's all the same. I just feel things.

So he's right. You guys are not You are not a bad person if you struggle with porn. And I'm not saying this to comfort you. I'm saying this because it's the truth. If there's one very good tip that I can give to you right now that is going to change everything for you is to stop seeing your usage of porn as a struggle and your intention of quitting porn as a potential achievement, and instead to see your usage of porn as a choice that you make for specific reasons that you can tackle, and your intention of quitting porn as a choice that you believe will benefit you in both the short term and the long term. So if you guys are watching this this, I uploaded a ton of videos on my YouTube channel where I go over how to actually quit porn and masturbation completely for free. If Dylan, you're watching this, reach out to me. I'll always be there to help. If you guys also want to join a free private community, then you can click the link down below in the description. There's a full 2-hour course there on how to get to the root cause using the Effortless Method. But anyways, guys, this is Samir Gardner.

Peace.