The Nice Guy Trap & How To Overcome It

What's good, y'all? It's your boy Samir Gardner. Hope y'all doing good. So, bro, I've been the nice guy my whole life, and you know, I overcame it probably like a year ago or recently. I don't know when because, you know, it's not something you just overcame like this. But I just want to help y'all. Like, if y'all, if y'all the nice guy, bro, like, this gotta stop. Like, this gotta stop right now, you know. Being a nice guy, bro, you'll never, you'll never achieve anything you want. You'll never even have self-love because you're always putting other, other people first. You're not even putting yourself first. You're not— you don't even feel worth it. Like, and bro, I'm gonna tell y'all my stories, bro. My stories of, of me being a nice guy, bro. It's crazy. Like, bro, it's crazy. Like, you know, being in high school at first, bro, I just You know, I was always trying to fit in, but like it never worked. I'm not trying to say I try to fit in and it didn't work just like this, like I was too special or something. But bro, I was just too nice. I was just— you can't say weak or something, but you know, I was always trying to fit in. I bought like the same clothes as everyone else, you know, even though they were expensive. I asked my mom to buy it and everything. You know, I was always trying to do the same things. You know, I was jealous of them. I, like, I'm gonna be real, like, I was just trying to be like these people. I was just trying to be like a clone of these people, basically. You know, I was always trying to please people and I never pleased myself. I always tried to please everyone. You know, one of the stories is like Bro, one day we were like hiking or something at school and there was this guy who, uh, you know, he had, he had his own bags. Like everyone, everyone had a bag and everything. And this guy like literally asked me like, yo, can, uh, can you, uh, can you, um, put your— I mean, can you carry my backpack? And bro, I just said yes even though I had a backpack that was also, um you know, big and everything. So he said he asked me to carry his backpack, and I just said yes. And that's not the blame on him, that's the blame on me. But you know, he just— I just said yes, carry his backpack. And you know, the guy next to me, my friend, said, bro, why, why did you say yes? That's so dumb. And then, bro, I realized, I was like, bro, am I like— bro, I'm just taking advantage of— and then the guy who gave me the backpack, uh, said, nah, bro, I feel too bad to do this, bro. Uh, take— give me back my backpack. Like, bro, I was this— like, I was so nice that, bro, like, it's crazy. Like, I was so nice that, you know, people for me was too important. I don't know why, bro. I don't know. I don't know how I was born. I don't think I was born like this. I think Maybe it's been programming, maybe it's, you know, experiences or something. But bro, I was just always putting other people first, feeling like other people were way stronger than me, feeling like people— just feeling like people are more important than anything else, you know. I didn't— I didn't— it's like I didn't want to love myself. I wanted other people to love me, basically. You know, I wanted to get as much attention as I could. So, you know, I was like the type of guy who, you know, the nice guys, like they don't want to hurt anyone. You know, they don't want to show their true emotions. They just want to make the other person stay comfortable, basically. So, you know, one day I was just with a bunch of people and then, you know, I was just, I was just walking with them. And then we met someone we know, and then the guy literally made a joke about me for no reason. For no reason. And this guy who made a joke was actually one of the coolest guys I know. Like, he was one of the coolest guys. He just made a joke about me just like this, so everyone laughs, you know. So, you know, people literally took advantage of me just so they could laugh, just so they could have a good time and everything. They just used me for this. Like, bro, I'm, I'm gonna be real, and I don't even want to blame these people because that's a blame on me. That's a blame on me for trying to be too nice. That's the blame on someone who programmed me, I guess. But, you know, um, I was literally being used as a joke. And, you know, being a nice guy, when someone made a joke about me, I would laugh. You know, because you don't want to hurt someone else's feeling. You don't want to— you don't want them to think that you're mad against them. You don't want to show your emotions. So bro, I'll literally— bro, I'll literally just let people use me for— like, they'll make jokes about me and I'll have to really hide my emotions. But inside of me, bro, I was mad, I was sad and everything that these people made jokes. But I didn't want to show my emotions because I was scared of what other people will think. You know, I was, I was the type of guy who was walking across like the cafeteria, and because there was a lot of people, I was stressed. I was, I was like stressed. Oh, am I walking right? Oh, am I moving my arms right? Or do I look good and everything? Like, bro, I was so stressed. I had no self-confidence at all, you know. That's one of the things of being a nice guy, bro. You have no self-confidence. You want other people to give you everything. You so much that you don't even want to do anything for yourself. You always put people on a pedestal, and that's nuts, bro. That's going to ruin you. Yo, the other story, bro. Okay, so there was this guy in school, right? I'm not going to say his name. I don't know if— I don't think he's ever going to watch this video or something. But, you know, this guy literally, he was someone who didn't really fit in also because, I mean, he was really trying hard to fit in, but him being oversized and him being, you know, not like everyone else, not cool like everyone else, that made him, you know, feel sad and mad, you know, against him. You know, he had no confidence, he had Nothing basically, you know, pretty much like me in the past. But you know, this guy was pretty much nice with everyone but except me because I was one of the only nice guy in the school, you know, because I was nice and he was nice too. It was like, oh, I'm gonna take advantage of this kid. So one day, bro, I was literally going to class and then there was like these two guys, okay? There was, I mean, there was this guy and the other guy. And that, bro, they just started like punching me, like just punching me in the stomach for no reason. Like literally, like literally. And I didn't even do anything. That's how bad, like, bro, they're just straight bullying me and I'm not doing anything. They just punch me and punch me and punch me, bro. I started getting mad. I punched him back, okay? I punched him back and he was like, boy, you punched me? Because I remember I'm the nice guy. He never thought I would do anything to him. So I punched him back. This guy, this guy, this guy just started punching me harder and harder. And so I punched him back again. And then, bro, I was so mad. I was gonna fight him, bro. I swear to God, if I fought him, I don't care how weak I was. You don't know how mad I was, bro. I was so mad, bro. I would literally— bro, I can't say that word, but bro, I literally Like I was literally gonna kill someone. Like if— like, bro, I was so mad. I was taking advantage of just because I was so nice. They literally punched me and everything. I was like so mad, bro. I would— I would say boom. I just want to fight. Like, bro, I wouldn't— bro, I was so mad, bro. I must stop saying this, but bro, I was gonna fight him. And if I fought him, bro, it would have been— it would have been like the end of his career. Like, bro, but what I did instead— well, my brain was like, nah, bro, if you fight, you're kind of fucked up and everything. So I didn't fight, but I should have fought, I think, because, you know, you know, you got in life, bro, you gotta— if you don't do nothing when someone else does something to you, well, that's, that's weak. And that's how I was, that I was weak. You know, so what I did instead, bro, I just went on my chair in class and, bro, I was so mad that I literally just cried because I was too mad. Like, you don't— I never been this mad in my life, so I just cried, bro. I just cried. And, bro, you know, one of the things, boy, y'all nice guy gotta understand is, bro, never let someone else do these things to you. Like, just never do, okay? And one of the most important lesson is being nice does not help anyone because no one, no one wants to be helped 24/7. And most of the times you're being nice to people who disrespect you, you know, you're being nice to people who seem stronger than you, so you want to be nice to them, but you don't realize, like, bro, you're being nice to someone is not helping them because most of the time these people don't even want your help. They don't even, you know, they don't even— they don't feel, uh, they don't appreciate what you give them. They don't even want it, you know, like, bro, they just don't want it. And you out there just giving, giving, giving, never receiving. Giving, giving, giving, giving, never receiving. Like, bro, this gotta end. Like, I swear, this gotta end. Now, how to overcame it? Now, first of all, y'all gotta realize being a nice guy most of the time it's because of fears. Sometimes, you know, during your childhood, you're— I don't know, people around you, your parents and everything will tell you like, um, don't do this, or people will, will do this to you, don't do that, or people will get mad at you. And so these are the programs that basically fucks up your whole life. So what you gotta do, bro, you gotta stop putting yourself first. And how do you do it? Well, you just do it. You put yourself first by, by wanting to improve your life. You want to improve your life, so you're not gonna put everyone else in front of you. Do you want, do you want to keep being a nice guy? Just feel the pain of you being a nice guy. Just feel the pain of you giving so much and not even receiving anything. Just feel the pain of you being a nice guy. And that pain, bro, it's gonna fuel you to next time, bro, next time someone takes advantage of you, you're gonna react. And you're gonna do this only once, okay? Do this only once. React to someone else. React to someone else with your true emotions. Do it once because you never done it. Just do it once and see how it feels. And you know, if you do it and someone gets mad at you, gets angry at you and everything, like, bro, just ignore that person. Well, ignore that person. That person doesn't— that person is fake. Literally, it's, it's fake. Like, I don't care if it's your friend. I don't care if it's someone you think is important to you. Well, if you, if you're, if you're acting with your true emotions You know, you feel mad, then tell them like, bro, stop saying this. Or tell them like, bro, like, if they punch you, you know, punch them back or something. Like, do what you think is good to do. Do what you think is right to do. Stop trying to hide your true emotions. Stop trying to play the victim. Do what you think is the right thing to do. And I'm not saying fight someone or something. I'm just saying Like, bro, you gotta react. You gotta react. You can't just laugh or something. You can't do those things anymore. So you gotta start by just— I mean, you're gonna start slow, just gonna do it once. Act like you're just doing it once in your whole life, and then you'll see, okay, I can do it again, I can do it again, I can do it again. And then it just— it's just gonna disappear. Like, you're not gonna be the nice guy anymore because You're just gonna be you. Also, you gotta stop hanging around too much people, and especially the people that makes you feel worthless. These people, you need to cut them off because, you know, people say don't cut off, don't cut off everyone in your life and everything, but, you know, cut off the people who makes you feel bad, that makes your life worse. You know, I'm not saying cut off someone because he's not on the same level as you, or cut off someone because he's not— he— I mean, it doesn't make you any better or something. Just cut off the people that makes you feel worse. That's it. Keep your circle small. Keep your circle with people that makes you feel good, people that makes you, uh, really appreciate, uh, you know, people that appreciate you for who you are, okay? These people, bro, you gotta give them more energy towards them and not— and not any energy towards the people that make you feel worse. You know, you start, start basically spending more time with people that makes you feel good. That's it. If it's a friend, if it's family, like, just start, start hanging around those people and really, you know, have a good time with them. Because when you're a nice guy, you're enjoying your— most of the time you're enjoying these people and You're basically just trying to give all your energy to the people that disrespects you instead of the people that you love and the people that loves you. So bro, being a nice guy, bro, you gotta like— it cannot, it cannot do it. Like, I swear, if you keep doing this your whole life, like, bro, I— and you can do it, you can overcome it. Like, you can overcome, I swear to God. I swear you can. I did it, you can too, okay? You can too. You know, just take that first step. Just worry about the first step. Don't worry about, you know, you trying to, you know, you being very confident, you being at the top and everything. Just worry about the first step. That first step, and then boom, another step, another step, another step. Like, bro, just take that first step. I know you might feel like you're weak and everything, but that will change. And I'm a living example. You might feel weak, you might feel ugly, you might feel non-confident, but I swear it will change. It will change. I swear to God, I'm a living example. Like I said, it's gonna change. Like, it's gonna change. It's not always gonna be hard for you. You're gonna, you're gonna achieve anything you want, basically. Like, if you want to be more confident you're gonna be more confident. It might take 1 year or something, but you're gonna be more confident. And it's about the progress, not the end result. It's about the progress that you make. You know, you being a nice guy right now, you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna go up, only up. You cannot go down. You're only gonna go up. So bro, keep moving forward. Basically, just keep moving forward. So I'm doing one-on-one consultations right now, uh, for free. I'm doing like for free for like the first 5 people or something. I'm gonna see So if you need help with being a nice guy or anything in life, just go in the description and click the link and just schedule a meeting with me. So that's it for the vid. Hope y'all liked it. Comment, share, subscribe, and like. I'm out. Peace.